A/N: This is the Doctor's response to the same question about the same situation. The story re-told from the Doctor's point of view. Had a bit of fun with matching them up and creating two different angles for the same thing. I know parts of this are a bit corny, bit heavy handed or whatever, but again, this was just a bit of fun because I felt compelled to write it. Literally, I couldn't sleep. So. Enjoy this one, it's much more humorous than Amy's. And comments are appreciated. =^_^=
Confessional: How did it happen?
Response: The Doctor
What? (Pause.) Oh, you expect me to actually tell you what happened? Cause that's not happening. Fact, far as I'm concerned, never did.
"You can't just pretend it didn't."
Yes, Amy. No one was talking to you. (Shakes head.) Honestly. I can't—And you can stop laughing any time. (Pause.) You see, that's what I'm saying. She thinks this is all one big joke. Haha, I don't really see the humor. More like a big messed up…well, it's a problem, isn't it? Now I've got to deal with her and, of course, she'll never let it go. But okay. Fine. You want me to tell you what happened? Here's the real story. Whatever she told you? A lie. I can tell you, right now, she can't be trusted. So, don't. Here's what happened. Truthfully.
So. My TARDIS had obviously decided that she needed to have a fit. Amy was being tossed around and I was hanging on to the monitor. When she finally settled down and put my hand on the consol affectionately.
"Oh, you poor thing. Come on, old girl, what's wrong? Tell me." I tried to check her vitals, but they all seemed normal. Stabilizers a bit out of alignment, but that's to be expected. They began to normalize quickly enough, although, I tended not to use them, because let's face it, a smooth ride is a dull one. Still, I couldn't quite see what had caused the tantrum. I hadn't done anything particularly offensive, so I couldn't determined what had put her off.
"What's happened? You look worried?"
I glanced in her direction quickly. "Well, if I knew what had happened I'd be fixing it, wouldn't I?" I shook my head. That was a bit harsh. Not her fault. "Sorry. I just…well I don't really like it when I can't figure out what's wrong." I hated it actually.
I moved around the consol, opening a panel and taking some wires in my hand. Whatever they went to, they looked intact and not broken. I went to my tool box and began to sort through it, tossing what I didn't need over my shoulder. Ah! I had found what I was looking for and began to listen to the consol with my old stethoscope. I flipped a lever and listened.
"So. What're you doing now?" Again, I sent her a glance because I was preoccupied. She could see what I was doing, but she obviously felt she had to ask. Sometimes, she felt the need to fill silence when I was clearly not even aware she was still in the room.
"I'm trying to calibrate the—"
"Yeah. Sounds fascinating. How 'bout a little break?"
I snorted. "I'm fine, thanks." Like I need or wanted a break. I had a problem to solve.
"Please? Just a few minutes. What's it going to hurt?"
I considered the question. "What can't it hurt? I think I've almost narrowed down the problem to twenty-seven distinct glitches and if I can isolate one of them then the sooner we can stop drifting around in open space like sitting ducks." I double checked the shields, but they were still fully functioning. But the engines just weren't fazing. I couldn't tell why we still had power, and everything seemed to be perfectly functional, but the TARDIS refused to move. Stubborn old goat.
"So, an hour? That sound good?"
I hung my head. "Do you even listen to a thing I say?"
"Sometimes." She gave me that playful smile and I shook my head. Then Amy did something very innocent. She took the stethoscope from my hands, leaning over my arm to reach it. I let it go because, at that moment, I was hit in the face with the most heavenly scent. First, it brought back a sting of memories that had me frozen. Hydralora. That had been, well, they used to grow outside my house when I was…small. I hadn't smelled in centuries, but it just all came back. And then I could detect Amy's shampoo and soap through the fragrance. They mix and well, my head spun. Actually, it more stopped. Normally, I've got gears turning every which way because I use more of my brain than a human I can have up to fifteen different thoughts at once, but right then I was done to around five and that is a dramatic decrease. That's like, almost brain dead. And it was because she smelled like the sexiest thing in the world and I couldn't do a damn thing about it.
I think she had waved a hand in front of my eyes and I heard a faint call of "Doctor?" From her side of the consol.
I bolted upright and jumped backward, running my hand through my hair. "What? Yes. Amy. How long have you been…" I took a second. Nice deep breath of fresh unsexy air. "What…okay. What is that?" One thing was curious, how did Amy Pond end up with concentrated planets from a planet that's been destroyed.
She chuckled, obviously not seeing how serious this was. "What is what?"
"That. You. What on earth are you wearing?" God, cause it smelled like heaven mixed with a bit of angle dust and sort of had the effect of making my head swim. Not entirely unpleasant in its own way, but there was no way I could do anything. I couldn't…well Amy was off limits. She was my companion. I had rules.
She looked down. "What? A t-shirt and this skirt that I actually quite like. These boots are getting pretty comfortable, too. I—"
"No." I hit my forehead and I felt it clear a bit. "No. No. Not your clothes. What is that…smell?" Because if you were not Amy Pond right now I'd be…I hit my head again. This was not good. Most definitely bad. I must have been worked up in some kind of frenzy. Maybe there were traces of Gallifryean pheromones mixed in, that would explain why her chest was suddenly the only part of her I could see. And when she spoke her mouth opened and closed and she probably tasted so good…I shook my head again.
"What?" She asked, sniffing herself. "I don't…what smell? Is it bad?"
As far from bad as you can get. I covered my mouth to keep from blurting that out. Lord knows she would only take that as invitation. "No. Not, well. Where did you…is that some sort of perfume?"
"Yeah. When we were on…" She snapped her fingers. "What's its name?" Honestly, I couldn't remember my name at that point. "That one with…never mind. It was on sale so I bought it. Does it mean something?"
I nodded. "Okay. Any chance you can wash it off?"
She snorted. "Why? Is it deadly or something?"
"No. Maybe." I shook my head. "No. Of course not."
"Then why the overreaction?"
"No reason. I'm not..overreacting." I shrugged and hoped to avoid the question. In hindsight, that was probably a mistake. Amy would just want to pursue it harder now.
"Doctor, you're not telling me something."
Oh, and she had to say my name in that sultry voice. She took a step toward me and I retreated, hand in front of me to ward off her tempting…everything.
"Stay there." I ordered. For both our safety. "Just…don't come any closer."
"What's got you all jumpy?" She asked. She didn't want for an answer. She was at my throat in seconds, her hand on my wrist. "Oh no you don't. I want to know what's going on. Now."
With the rush of her movements that fragrance hit me full in the face. I swayed in place, nearly falling over. The things that went through my mind at that point, I would rather not share. Mostly, it involved Amy and mostly, it was less than flattering and mostly, it was all I could do to keep my hands to myself.
"Could you…" I kept my voice slow and even. I didn't want to slip and finish that with something like 'take your clothes off.' That would have been bad. Because she might. And then I would have been in a real situation. "Possibly, for my sanity, take a few steps back?"
"Sure. If you tell me what the hell is going on?" She challenged. "I've never seen you act like this. It's sort of freaking me out and—"
I think she was talking. Arguing probably. She always had to challenge everything I said. To be honest, I wasn't really listening to her right then. She hadn't heeded my warning and she was still a little too close. I could feel her hair on my cheek, but I didn't really know how it got there. It was nice, though. Her hair was soft and the combination of the perfume and shampoo mixed perfectly. So, I inhaled.
"Um…okay. What the hell is going on?"
And…that was too far. I moved back and slapped myself. The sting helped. Not much, but gears were starting to spin faster. What the hell had come over me? I felt a little sick. This would only feed her already insane thoughts and lead her down a road that I in no way wanted to follow. "Nothing." I answered. "Everything's just fine, Amy. No cause for alarm." I kept retreating. I wasn't even looking behind me and I felt the stairs meet the back of my leg so I grabbed for the railing and caught myself. "Seriously. I'm just going to…bit of a headache."
"Were you sniffing me?" She asked. I froze.
So. She had caught that. Not really a surprise, I wasn't exactly subtle. "No. Definitely…no. Not a…why would you ask that?"
"Um, let's see, cause you were just sniffing me?" She sounded a bit exasperated.
I suppose, ask a stupid question…Well, I was just really hoping she hadn't caught that. She was staring me down. There was threat and accusation in her posture, fight in her spirit. And right then, she was the most dangerous person in that room. Looking at me like she dared me to do the wrong thing. There was only such much self control one could have when dealing with someone like her. Realistically, I couldn't say 'no' forever. I would never tell her that. But I wasn't perfect.
"Look. Can you just…" She started.
I put a hand on my forehead. Tired. Just…so tired.
"..just tell me?" She finished. "I'm worried. You're acting all…more crazy than usual. What's wrong with this perfume?"
Oh. Amy. I chuckled darkly. Wrong was really not the word. "Nothing wrong…exactly…" I sighed. "I have to go." Where? Anywhere. I had to run. Running was so much easier. Running never let me down. I was the Doctor. I had a time machine. I could run forever. I got up and spun on my heel, trying to head up the stairs and out of that room which now smelled like Amy and Hydralora no matter where I went.
"Wait." I heard her voice faintly, and the only thing that stopped me was the strained almost sad sound. Not the demanding Amy I knew. I could hear her walking toward me. I knew she was on the stairs and I closed my eyes, my hand still on the railing.
"Doctor, do you…like my perfume?"
No. I will not answer that. She was not getting anything out of me. I just needed to leave. To clear my head. I could have really done with a life threatening situation right then. I'd have preferred a good invasion to this.
"Doctor. Do you think I smell good?" She was purring at me. She had dropped her voice to a more alluring volume. I could tell because at that moment, I was particularly sensitive to any sort of action on her part. I groaned. So, this wasn't going well at all. I would like to say that I did try. I gave it a valiant effort and there was only so much I could do when she persisted. She was the most stubborn person I ever met and she never backed down from anything. I suppose, I didn't have a chance, but I still like to think I did. I like to think that I wanted to give in? Cause then it wouldn't feel as disappointing to be the loser. Sometimes winning was no fun, but losing, in my experience, was rarely fun if ever. You know, and she was bound to be all smug about it too. There'd be no living with her.
I could feel her leg between mine, her foot resting on the step between my boots. The surprise made me open my eyes, because I had not been anticipating her acting so quickly. I still hadn't answered her. Her fingers grabbed my collar.
"Are you going to answer me?" She toyed.
Never. Not in a million years. Kill me first.
She tossed some hair behind her shoulder and I just had to take a deep breath. "Doctor." She sounded concerned. "I just want to know if you're alright. You're acting a bit weird and I'm getting worried."
My hand, through no direction from me, had her by the shoulder lightly and I rested my forehead on hers. Because it was so comfortable and familiar. I will always say, hugging is never off limits. I just needed a second. Just a moment to stop. Think. And—
She was kissing me. Yeah. It happens. She yanked on my jacket, rather roughly I might add, that was my favorite jacket, and then she had me. I inhaled because that was my body's natural response when cut off from oxygen. Like before she was giving much more than I was reciprocating. And, because I know she'd have said something condescending, that was still a new body for me. I had never kissed anyone in that form…except her…when she had pretty much done exactly the same thing…I hoped it wasn't becoming a habit. Habits are hard to break.
So, in my defense, it was all a bit awkward for me and I was a little unsure of how to handle the situation. Especially, when returning said gesture was the last thing I actually wanted to do. Well, not the last thing. It ranked around the top five. No, ten. No wait, definitely top five. I was right the first time. Anyway. Since there were no immediate signs of her letting up and, let's be honest, I was in no position to refuse, I let my hands move on their own. I could feel her knees give out a little and she fell against me, so I must have done something right. Or wrong. Honestly, it's all a bit hazy. Bit more grey than anything. Right and wrong…what did that really mean, am I right?
With no reason not to, and frankly, not enough will power left in the reserves, I began to…sort of…possibly…enjoy myself. It wasn't like I had a choice. She was an excellent kisser. In that sort of, embrace, we had I did find that it was easy to lean her backward…maybe for a better position—No. Forget that. I didn't want a better position. Well. This almost just got an 'R' rating. When she was nearly fully…um, lying down. I got my senses back. Yeah, she didn't look happy when I pulled my head back, staring at her with all the horror I was feeling. Wow. Was that ever close. I wanted to sigh in relief, but I sort of couldn't really undo the already damning kiss that led us to that position so it was a bad situation that I just happened to not make worse. For once. Hey, there was something.
I had to detangle my hand from her hair, which I might add, was everywhere, so that I could lean on it and support my weight. "No." I began to back up. But she did have my jacket in her hands. "No. No. No. Amy, this…I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." And I was so sorry. I wanted to apologize over and over because of all the things I pride myself on avoiding, this was one of them. "Never happen again. Could you…" Her hands were still on me and I tried tugging. "Could you let go now?"
She snorted like she was holding in a laugh. "Why the apology? Do I look like I want to complain?"
I laughed darkly. This was not funny. "That's not really the point, Amy. I should have…I let that get out of hand."
"Oh, but we were just getting started. I'm the one who kissed you, remember? You weren't, like, taking advantage or anything."
Naïve Amy. Yes I was. "That's exactly what I was doing. You're just not getting it." I pulled at her wrist and tried to loosen her fingers. I was stronger than her, obviously, but I didn't want her hurt her. "And could you please let me go? This is hard enough as it is?"
"What's hard?" She wiggled her eyebrows. Probably a joke. I didn't get it.
"Amy. This is serious. You have no idea what you're doing—"
"Oh, lighten up already. Things were going so well before you opened your big mouth."
Excuse me? Big mouth? I rubbed at my chin. That was just uncalled for. I didn't call her…well…I tried to think of a flaw…Tall. She was way too tall. With long legs. Damn. That didn't work. Stupid…face. I did not have a big mouth…
"Look, why the big show? It's not like this wasn't expected."
"Sorry?" I had been a bit preoccupied with trying to find a feature of hers to mock, and trying to make myself feel better for her ill-tempered and very untactful remark.
"Come on. You mean you haven't been flirting with me all this time?"
Oh. She must have asked me something about something. I wasn't listening. Flirting? Ha. What, a ridiculous idea. "I most certainly—"
She laughed. And interrupted me. "Don't even try it. You've been flirting with me so hard it's a wonder I haven't jumped you before."
"You have no…and I distinctly remember protesting then as well. Flirting?"
"Yes. Flirting. And I'm not engaged any more. So what's your excuse this time?"
"My excuse? My excuse is that this is all kinds of wrong and I can't even…I'm over nine hundred years old Amelia—"
"Don't call me that." She groaned.
See what I did? I knew that. I knew she hated it. Call me clueless will you. I know things. Even in these situations. I was cool. And with her displeasure with my choice of address, I worked my way free. I stood up and adjusted my bow tie.
Adjusted, I rotated my shoulders, trying to work out the kinks. She just watched me looking upset. Disappointed? I was never good at that game. Maybe crestfallen was the word? Oh. I knew I kept a thesaurus around somewhere…
Yeah, I know. Not important right then. I didn't know what I needed to do, but I watched her, rather apprehensively. This is where I had to defuse the bomb and the slightest mistake would have it blowing up in my face.
"What?" She droned.
"Nothing." I replied carefully. "You just…you look really angry."
"No. I'm not angry. I'm just confused and a bit frustrated."
I put a hand over my face. "See. That's why. That's the problem. I'm sorry." I backed up further. I hadn't expected this so soon after wards. I was hoping for at least a day to work out a really good plan. "I'm so sorry, Amy." I said, the words felt familiar in my mouth.
"Why are you apologizing?" She snapped. "Unless you're sorry for practically making-out with me and then just deciding that it wasn't a good idea, then save it. I don't know what else you have to be sorry for."
"Honestly, Amy. I'm sorry for whatever you want me to be sorry for. That was…uncalled for and I wasn't thinking clearly. Actually, I probably should just go away. Leave you to yourself for a bit. And…if it is at all convenient, could you just throw that perfume into…I don't know, a black hole or something? Obliterate it, actually."
She didn't respond to this. I got a bit carried away with the various ways to destroy that horrid liquid. An hour…maybe six passed without a word. She still sat moodily on the stairs. I tried to work. The TARDIS was still not working. I needed to fix that. Or something. I hit at the consol gently. Eh. These were the types of problems I hated having to fix. I hated having to deal with it. I hated the whole thing and it took a lot of energy to keep from bolting.
I heard her turn and her boots clicked on the stairs. I glanced in her direction as she disappeared. With a sigh, I felt like the air was much thinner. Not that it was, but it did feel easier to breathe.
She didn't come back. Not for awhile. I paced. I worked. I scratched at my head. Well, I was a bit worried. I know that I wanted her to go and I wanted to run, but now that I couldn't keep an eye on her it was driving me crazy. I tinkered. I stormed around. I just could not settle on one specific thing and I really had to. That was it. I needed to check on her. Well, let's see how many ways this disastrous choice could go wrong.
I had just hopped up the stairs when I ran into Amy. Literally, she smacked against me before backing up a pace to get her bearings. "I was just going to check if you were…o…kay…"
Bad Amy. Very dirty. Very bad form. Very very…small amount of clothing. Very very strong aroma. Very very bad situation.
I feel that there were a lot of 'very's at that moment. More than I liked.
"Yeah. Fine." She replied crisply. She flipped her hair and took a step past me. I was completely immobile.
"You didn't." I breathed. I mean…she obviously did. She went all out. That intoxicating scent hit me square in the face. She back tracked, looking up at me innocent. "What? I dunno what you're referring to."
I shook my head. "Amy. Do you have no…" I took a breath. "Just once, it would be nice, if I could say something and have you actually hear me."
"I hear you. I just don't listen." She grinned.
"You're such a cheater." I groaned.
I bent toward her hair. "You don't play fair."
"Hey." She put her hands in the air. "Never claimed I did."
I teetered on my feet. Then I could feel her shirt pressing against me. She put her forehead on my chin, resting against me. And I remembered that position. It was close to hugging and I never complained or refused a hug. It was nice. That she wasn't attacking me or anything. I almost felt safe enough to put my arms around her.
She tilted her head up, letting her nose rub along my jaw. I sucked in air quickly. We were back to that. Then she was telling me something. I don't know what. I just felt every word against the skin on my cheek, and my ear, and down my neck. "Doctor, you don't have to be so noble about this. We're adults. I can make up my own mind, and if there's no other reason to tell me 'no' then that, you've lost."
I kept very still. Painfully still. She put her hand on my shoulder. "Please, don't leave again." She purred against my neck.
Her hand was pulling my face down and angled toward her. I didn't retreat.
For several seconds, she kissed me. I didn't do anything. I…wouldn't…it was getting harder not to. Oh and what point was there in fighting, anymore? I guess I was just very used to the denial. I began to give a little. She did smell amazing. She did feel amazing. She sort of was amazing.
I could feel her beginning to open her mouth, but that wasn't going to work for me anymore. I ran my hands up through her lovely hair and that earned a small moan. She stopped moving backward when her back hit a wall and I admit that I might have been leading her toward it, but you can't prove anything. The move did make her claw at my hair, which well, I didn't really find unpleasant. You know.
And then we began the descent downward. When she was completely on her back I paused and put a hand on either side of her head to support myself.
Old habits did die hard. "This is not…this is not a good idea."
"Stop being dramatic."
"I'm not." I protested. "Amy, I'm trying…so hard to not do this and you are not making that easy." I put my forehead against hers and smiled happily. I felt better.
"I don't want this to be easy. You're just being stubborn." She argued. "Give me one good reason."
"I can give you twenty." I pleaded.
"Do you not want to do this? For you, not for the consequences, but do you really not want to be kissing me right now? Because you're not attracted to me?" She raised an eyebrow. I felt like there was no lying at that moment. Like she would catch it and probably kill me. Upon reflection, her knee was positioned over a part of me I was rather fond of and did not want struck with her bony leg.
"Nice try." She smiled. "But you have to answer."
I fell forward, my head resting partly on her shoulder and on the floor. "Do I get a do-over? I don't want to answer that."
"Because then you'll just use that to convince me that this is a good idea." I groaned into her shoulder. I probably sounded a bit pathetic.
I lifted my head. "What?"
"Doctor, I'm not really holding anything back here. That much, I think, I've made pretty clear." She motioned to her outfit. "I'm not expecting you to propose to me, so you don't have to worry about anything like that. Even if…" She took a breath. "If it is just this one time, please, if you don't have any objections to me, just give me that. If you're attracted to me, and even a little consider that you might want this too, then just give me this one time."
"You think…" I took a breath. "Okay."
"Okay. You win. I can't argue with any of that. Unfortunately, I suppose you understand more than I thought and I can't argue that you aren't incredibly beautiful and maddening and impossible and you smell…" I closed my eyes. "Magnificent. I just want you to understand the consequences may not be nice and that there's no going back."
I smiled. "I doubt that."
"But I win?"
"Don't you always?" She squeaked like a little girl and grabbed him into another kiss.
And there you have it. I'm sure the rest is fairly obvious. She didn't tell you anything did she?
"You know I did."
Okay, that's not…Amy? Did she really? I just never know with her. Everything's up in the air. Nothing is set in stone. (He smiles cheekily.) Sort of fun that way. (He frowns.) I guess. You know, this interview is over. I sort of have a lot to do. Places to go. And I never did figure out what was wrong with the TARDIS. She just started up again and it was like nothing had happened. Actually…I think she had a hand in…
It figures. Women.