Well, this is just a short little drabble that I typed up that came about because I was going to write up a different horror story where the characters somehow ended up in pairs with people they never talk to in the show, for the sake of keeping things interesting (Rachel and Rory, Finn and Brittney, Tina and Sam, Quinn and Blaine etc.) and when it got to Tina and Sam's part I was like...hmm...how can they bond, and the first little bit of this was formed. But then I didn't want to stop, and so I didn't.
So here you go, I hope you enjoy it, and have a wonderful day!
In Which Tina and Sam Bond Over Horror Movies
"We're making a movie?" Quinn asked dubiously, looking blankly at Shuester.
"Yep! They've offered to film us live in concert! They were looking for a go-get 'em underdog team to follow around, and that's exactly what we stand for! They found out what we do, offered us a deal, and voila!"
"Mr. Shue, I find this highly doubtful. I mean, we are the biggest losers in the school-"
"Correction, Rachel, is the biggest loser in the school." Santana butted in. Rachel glared at her.
"That is entirely untrue Santana, Jacob Ben Israel is the biggest loser in the school, and I should think after your recent escapade, you'd try to be a bit more polite to those who stood by you." Rachel snapped.
"You're right Yentl." Santana said. Rachel stopped and stammered.
"Oh my God, you silenced Rachel Berry." Quinn blinked in shock. Santana shrugged and raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, I'm awesome."
"Lord Tubbington thinks so too, he said you'd be the first Lebanese Lesbian to walk on the moon." Brittney said. Santana smiled at her and leaned in closely.
"Umm...Brits, you know I'm not Lebanese right? You just spelled Lesbian wrong once..."
"All of that aside, Mr. Shue, do you really think we could make a movie?" Finn asked.
"I don't know about you, but I've been waitin' for this opportunity. If I look this good off screen, imagine just how great I'll look on it!" Mercedes grinned and held up her nails.
"Are we going to have costume people?" Kurt asked nonchalantly.
"Are we going to have scripts?" Blaine asked, much more intensely.
"Guys, you're just going to be playing yourselves." Mr. Shue said blankly.
"Then look out ladies cause I guess we're makin' a porno." Puck bit his lip and thrusted. "The fact that I'm a young father just means I have plenty of practice."
"You're a pig." Quinn drawled.
"You didn't mind."
"Guys! Enough! I thought this news would bring us closer as a team..."
"I think it's a cool idea!" Sam shrugged, looking around.
"Me too!" Tina beamed and they exchanged a glance. Sam realized very suddenly that he'd never actually spoken to Tina before. "What genre is it?" She asked, turning away.
"Well...I guess documentary."
"Ah man." Sam sighed. "I was hoping it'd be some cool action, adventure, sci-fi stuff!"
"That costs money, Sam, and nobody is going to spend that much on us." Quinn sighed.
"We should do a horror movie." Tina grinned, her face lighting up.
"That would be so cool!" Sam agreed, hopping chairs to sit by her. "Except...I don't know how long I'd live..."
Their discussion was interrupted suddenly when the bell rang signalling the end of the day. As the others began to pack up, Tina stayed in her seat.
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"I mean, I'm the blond jock, right? So after Brittney, I'd be the first person to die."
"Well, based on typical horror movie rules, maybe." Tina nodded.
"But I'm also a secret geek, and I'm nicer than Finn and Puck, which means I should theoretically live longer than them."
"So maybe they'd die second and third, and you'd go fourth? But three jocks would never go in quick succession..."
"Plus, Finn's got Rachel, who, based on the rules, would live for a while at least. So he'd have to make it at least to the halfway point."
"Unless Rachel had a secret love tryst with somebody else." Tina pointed out, really getting into it.
"Right...and...and doesn't she have a weir d Jew-Love thing with Puck?"
"Yeah! Off and on, but still!"
"Alright, so theoretically, Brittney would die first, then Finn, and that'd be when we figured out we were in a scary situation."
"Then a few people would leave, not believing us, among them...hmm...Quinn, probably, Mercedes, Sugar and Kurt. Blaine would go because he's Kurt's man."
"Puck and I would go too." Sam nodded. "To protect Quinn and Mercedes."
"But Puck doesn't love Quinn anymore." Tina pointed out, confused.
"But she is his Baby Mama, and he'd do anything to make sure Beth got to meet her someday."
"Right!" Tina agreed. "So who would die next?"
"Hmm...Mr. Shuester? He's the leader, the one that keeps everybody calm. But it might be, and I hate to admit it, Mercedes. Stereotypically, black people don't last long."
"They do nowadays, horror movies live for making the black person die third to last." Tina nodded. "But I think it'd be Rory, I mean, without Finn and Brittney, he'd have nobody to really stick around for, so...yeah."
"Well, I'm pretty close to him! I don't know... Who is next? Mr. Shue, Mercedes or Rory?" By this point, the entire choir room had been vacated, even Mike had left.
"Well, here, let's make a list. Do you have any paper?"
Fifteen minutes later they were sprawled out on the floor of the choir room with a list written in blue pen on the back of a crumpled up swim team schedule.
"Alright, so I think it would be Mr. Shue, he'd be the obvious next target causing the ones who stayed to panic." Sam said plainly.
"Right, and then Rory, mostly because he has to go somewhere and I can't see him going any further. Plus he's not local, so there can be no tearful family moment or moment at his house, especially because he's living with Brittney and she would be dead by this point." Tina pointed out.
"I never thought of that, but you're totally right. To be honest, I have a hunch Sugar might be next to go. She's not well known by like, anybody here! She was with the Troubletones but, I mean, other than that she's got nothing going for her."
"Yeah, I think you're right." Tina said. "But Mercedes wouldn't go after Sugar, they're too similar."
"Well, what about Artie? He's too inaccessible to get around easily, so he's easy prey, no offense, I know you dated at one point."
"None taken, I think you're right. Artie and then...well, I still don't feel like its Mercedes' time to go. It just doesn't feel right."
"I'm not really sure, right now Rachel, you, Mike and Santana are in one group, me, Quinn, Blaine, Puck, Mercedes and Kurt are in the other." He said.
"I hate to say it...but...I think it'd be Mike or I. I mean, Rachel and Finn were broken up, Santana and Brittney were broken up. The only couples left are Kurt and Blaine, and Mike and I. Couples never last long." She said plainly.
"Oh...that's true. I think it'd be Mike though, because he'd protect you if you were both attacked, and you'd get away." Sam said, matter of factly.
"Well thanks! Mercedes would go next." She said.
"Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Then Kurt, and then Blaine would go crazy with revenge, and end up getting himself killed." Sam said plainly.
"Who all is left?"
"Rachel, Quinn, Puck, Santana and us."
"Well, if we're taking Beth into consideration, either Quinn or Puck will live, and the other will survive. But which one..." Tina pondered. Both of them fell silent.
"I think it'd be Puck who lived, honestly. As much as I want to say Quinn, I think it'd be Puck."
"Unless!" Tina smiled knowingly. "There was a mid-movie romance that blossomed between Quinn and..." She paused.
"Who, Santana?" Sam laughed.
"You!" Tina nudged him. "I think it'd happen too, because your appearances complement one another, and you had a great relationship before Finn messed everything up!" Tina encouraged him.
"Alright, let's assume I fall for one of the survivors. Why not you, or Rachel?"
"We were both in relationships already, and Quinn is more in need of a relationship because of the baby. It's incomplete without a father figure. So I think Puck would die, and tell you to watch Quinn and the baby."
"Well okay, then what?"
"At this point, you and Quinn have to survive, so it's down to Rachel, Santana and I."
"I don't think Santana would die here, honestly. She's too badass. She'd be the one to kill the killer, or get killed in the final fight. She'd be last to go, so it's you or Rachel."
"It'd be Rachel." Tina said. "And I'm not saying that because I want to live, I mean, Rachel's loud and kind of annoying sometimes, and she's incapable of being gentle most of the time because she just powers her way through everything."
"She does do that... I think you're right. Plus, you'd be the one leading us."
"Alright, one final decision then!" Tina grinned.
"Do I die next, or do I survive and Santana dies next?"
"You'd live. Just the couple wouldn't survive, it'd be them, plus one, so it doesn't seem too perfect at the end."
"That's true, so Santana dies killing the killer like a badass." Tina laughed.
"So; Brittney, Finn, Mr. Shue, Rory, Sugar, Artie, Mike, Mercedes, Kurt, Blaine, Puck, Rachel, and Santana. Then you, me, and Quinn survive." Sam summarized. Tina nodded and they both fell silent for a moment.
"We just spent like, an hour and a half killing our club-mates..." Tina realized.
"Well...yeah, we're awful." He laughed and nudged her. "I like you, why aren't we friends?"
"We are! Now." She grinned and got up. "I should be heading home, Dracula calls."
"The movie or your father?" Sam teased.
"Such a good movie..." He sighed.
"Well, my bed is big enough for two, Mike won't mind, I'd never cheat on him and he knows it. I'm not sharing my popcorn though." Tina grinned.
"I'll bring my own!"
This was a lot of fun to write! I almost started writing the horror movie that they were planning, but decided not to. Let me know what you think, or don't, it doesn't really matter to me. I just hope I entertained you! :)