A/N: This was written for my friend Nicole, since she put the plot bunny in my head.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or Fight Club.
"I want to teach you how to fight," said Puck in the locker room after gym one day.
"Excuse me?" asked Kurt, as he buttoned his skinny jeans, looking around to make sure Puck was talking to him.
"I want to teach you how to fight. I'm tired of watching you just sit there when Karofsky shoves you."
"You could do something-"
"You know I can't, unless you want me to go back to juvie."
"Rachel would kill me if you weren't here for sectionals because of me," muttered Kurt as he buttoned his shirt.
"Exactly, so that's why you need to learn to fight."
"I prefer to fight with words, Puck."
"Insults work fine, but not if the dumbasses can't understand what you're saying."
"It's not my fault that this school produces bumbling idiots. ...No offense," Kurt said as he pulled on his Doc Martens.
"See, I know you just insulted me, but I don't give a rat's ass what you said. Now, hit me."
"What difference is hitting you going to make?"
"A big one. Now hit me."
Kurt stood and faced Puck. He raised his right arm and lightly punched him in the arm. Then immediately sat back down and continued tying his Doc Martens.
"What kind of hit was that?"
"I didn't want to hurt you."
"Trust me, you won't. Now hit me. Harder this time."
"No. Puck, I don't want to do this." He stood and shouldered his bag. Puck stood in his way. "Excuse me."
"Not until you hit me. One good punch, that's all I'm asking."
"Puck, move. I'm going to be late for class."
"Hit me and I'll move," he said as he stepped closer to Kurt.
"Do it." Puck got increasingly closer to Kurt, backing him into the lockers. "Stand your ground."
Kurt let his bag slide off his shoulder and he raised his arms, his hands clenched into fists. "I don't want to do this."
"You're not going to hurt me. Just do it."
"Fine." He punched Puck square in the jaw with as much force as he could.
"Damn," said Puck as he adjusted his jaw. "That was better than I thought you'd do."
"Now can I go?" Kurt asked, preening a bit at the fact that he'd been able to inflict some pain on a guy like Puck. Even if his knuckles hurt like hell.
"Yeah," said Puck, stepping out of the way. "Just meet me after Glee and we'll work on your technique."
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Puck. I have no intention of continuing this."
But with Puck's, and eventually Sam and Mike's, persistence, he did. And he got fairly good.
Just not good enough to use it when Karofsky threatened his life.
Kurt had been at Dalton for two months when he realized that Blaine could never meet him for coffee on Thursdays, no matter how many times he asked.
His curiosity finally got the best of him one Wednesday in early February.
"Why can't we ever meet for coffee on Thursdays?" he asked Blaine as they took their usual seats at the Lima Bean. "You always rush off after Warblers practice."
"I've got another club meeting on Thursdays, right after Warbler practice. I'm the president, so I've got to get everything set up."
"What club meets on Thursdays?" Kurt didn't remember seeing any clubs that met on Thursdays in the Dalton Handbook, except Chess Club, but Blaine's terrible at Chess.
"It's a secret club. If I tell you about it, you have to go to at least one meeting."
"What is it? Therapy Club?" Kurt asked with a laugh.
Blaine smirked. "Well, it's definitely a type of therapy, that's for sure." He paused for a moment before, seemingly, changing topics.
"Have you ever been in a fight, Kurt?"
"Well, I punched Puck once or twice, but only because he made me. Why?"
"After I left public school, I started taking boxing lessons because I'd been picked on so much. I wanted to be able to defend myself. Fortunately, I haven't had to use what I've learned out in the world, though it is a good stress reliever. I usually just stick to punching bags."
"So, Thursdays are boxing club nights?" asked Kurt as he sipped his coffee, trying to understand what Blaine has just said. "I wouldn't be opposed to going to that."
"If you go, you'll have to show the club what you're made of. One of the guys may actually box you." Blaine leaned closer to Kurt, trying to convey what he means without actually saying it.
"I think I can hold my own," he replied with a smirk.
"So, do you want to go with me tomorrow?"
"I can't. I'm going to visit McKinley tomorrow after Warblers practice. But I'll go next week."
"OK. I'll let the guys know. So what new item have you got adorning your Dalton uniform? Is that a hippo?" asked Blaine, easily slipping back to their normal conversation topics, as if the boxing club talk had happened.
The next day, Blaine informed the "boxing club" guys that Kurt would be joining them next week.
"He's going to get his ass kicked," said James, the Warblers' beat boxer.
"I recall you saying the same thing about me," remarked Blaine. "And I knocked your ass to the floor in less than a minute."
"I still say you got a lucky shot."
"James, you're just pissed that Blaine beat you and he's half you size," said Jeff, who was stretching on the floor next to Nick.
"Anyway," said Blaine, getting the conversation back on topic, "We all know that Kurt will have to fight one of us."
"I'll do it," offered James.
"No. You're shaped too much like the guy that tormented Kurt at McKinley. I want to see him fight, not scar him for life."
"Why not let Kurt pick when he gets here?" asked Nick.
"Because I'm afraid he'll pick James to prove himself and then never talk to any of us again." He knew that James had gotten much better at fighting since those first few meetings and would easily defeat Kurt. He didn't want to see his best friend get hurt.
"Ok, so what do you suggest we do?" asked Alex, one of the non-Warblers in the club.
"We vote," Blaine said as he pulled a notebook out of his back pack and started ripping sheets of paper into slips for each guy. "Anyone is eligible, except James."
The guys scribbled names on to the slips, then handed them to Nick to count.
"It's a tie between Jeff and Blaine," he said after a minute.
"OK, so Kurt can decide between the two of us next week," said Jeff. Blaine nodded as he grappled with the fact that he might have to fight his best friend.
He shook his head to try and clear his thoughts. If his head wasn't clear this week, he'd get block knocked off.
On his way to McKinley, Kurt called Puck.
"You're go for Puck," he answered on the third ring.
"Puck, I'm coming to McKinley. Do you have time for a practice session after Glee?"
"Dalton, apparently, has a boxing club and I want to join. But, I've got to demonstrate my skill first and I don't want to embarrass myself."
"Whoa. I didn't think those preppies would know how to fist fight."
"It's boxing and are you going to help me or not?"
"Yeah, I'll meet you right after Glee's over."
"Thanks. Oh, and don't tell Finn or the girls. I do not need my dad finding out about this."
Kurt practiced with Puck, Mike, and Sam everyday that week leading up to boxing club. More than not wanting to embarrass himself, Kurt wanted to impress Blaine, to show him he wasn't weak. Fortunately, he'd been working on his moves on his own at Dalton, so he wasn't rusty. But it was always better to have someone critique him while he practiced.
Of course, he had no clue he'd be fighting Blaine.
The next Thursday, after Warblers' practice, Blaine led Kurt to the basement. They were shortly joined by the other members of the club.
"This is where you guys have boxing club?" asked Kurt, looking around the dark room. "Where are the punching bags?" There were a few, well-worn sofas and rugs scattered around, but no boxing equipment.
"This is Fight Club, Kurt," said James. "We don't use punching bags."
"Fight Cl-? You would name your boxing club after a movie," said Kurt as he glanced at Blaine, who was avoiding looking at Kurt. "Ok, I've seen the film, so I presume the rules are the same. It's my first night, so who am I supposed to fight?"
"We were going to have you pick between Blaine and Jeff, but Jeff's been out with the flu all week, so that leaves Blaine," said Nick.
"Well, I didn't see that coming," said Kurt as he slipped off his blazer and placed it on the arm of one of the couches.
"I'll go easy on you," Blaine promised as he removed his own blazer and tie. And though Kurt nodded, it made him a bit upset that Blaine felt the need to "go easy" on him. It didn't help that he was still frustrated about the whole 'Gap-attack' fiasco from the day before.
Once both boys were down to their undershirts and trousers, Nick went over the rules.
"One. No hitting the face. We might be fighting, but Dalton has an image to uphold. Two. Kicking is allowed, just try not hit the family jewels."
Kurt and Blaine nodded as they taped their hands. They tapped fists then waited for Nick to start the fight.
"And, GO!" shouted Nick. The rest of the boys started yelling as Kurt and Blaine danced around each other, neither one wanting to make the first move.
The rest of the boys grew impatient when neither of them made a move right away. James finally pushed Blaine into Kurt to get them going. And it worked.
Blaine knocked into Kurt, hitting him in the chest when he stumbled. Kurt punched Blaine in the shoulder a few times, knocking him off balance. Kurt finally let his frustration, both with himself and with Blaine, to fill him up and used as fuel for his energy.
He landed several quick punches to Blaine's chest and stomach before Blaine lunged at him with a punch. He blocked it, but Blaine kept trying. He eventually got tired of throwing punches and squatted lower, practically charging at Kurt, but he wasn't fast enough. Kurt dodged his attack and he landed face-first on the musty rug at Kurt's feet.
"That was easier than expected," said Kurt as he walked passed Blaine. But Blaine wasn't going to give up. He managed to wrap his leg around Kurt's ankle and pull him to the ground, almost on top of him.
"I said I'd go easy on you, I didn't say I wasn't going to try," growled Blaine.
"Then make a move," Kurt shot back as he pushed off the floor, straddling one of Blaine's legs.
Blaine grabbed Kurt's right arm and pulled it across his body, causing Kurt to lose his balance and roll towards the floor. Blaine flipped their position and straddled Kurt's hips.
Kurt swung at Blaine's shoulder, but clocked him in the jaw.
"No face hits," shouted Nick.
"I don't care," yelled Blaine as he blocked Kurt's next punch. He sat on Kurt's thighs, knowing that a good portion of Kurt's strength was in his legs. Kurt smirked as he punched Blaine hard in the stomach and rolled him off.
"You've underestimated me, Blaine," he teased as he pinned Blaine's arms above his head.
Blaine tried to move Kurt from his position on top of him, but he was stronger than he looked. Blaine wiggled some more under Kurt, until he realized he was kind of grinding into him.
"You win," said Blaine and Kurt let go of his wrists.
"Sorry about punching you in the face. I'm not used to limiting my hit zone." He extended a hand to Blaine to help him off the floor.
"It's fine," said Blaine as he got to his feet. "Where'd you learn to fight like that anyway?"
"Puck. He insisted I learn how to fight while I was at McKinley. This is the first time I've ever had to use it on someone, though."
"If you want to continue to box, I could help with your technique. You're pretty good now, but-"
"Puck's no expert," Kurt chuckled. "I'd like that, though. As long as we stick to punching bags and not each other."
"Deal. I've got a bag set up at my house."
"That was impressive," said Nick as he shook Kurt's hand. "I really didn't think you had it in you."
"Most people don't," he replied with a smirk.
He and Blaine got dressed and sat on one of the couches for the rest of the 'meeting'.