Had it already been weeks? Maybe it'd been months… Dean wasn't sure how much time had passed since he found the impossible but he still appreciated it, despite the obvious problems. This was a secret that Dean had been keeping from even Sam; he didn't need the annoying little-brother gaze on this one. Especially consider the state of mind his gift had come wrapped in.

Months ago Dean was looking into a fairly mundane hunt, something trivial and pretty much small fry compared to everything else. He and Sam wanted a break from everything but considering monsters never stop, they figured hunting something small was as close as they could get. Of course, nothing's ever that easy, not for Winchesters, anyway. Something more pressing had come up and Sam, having won their game of rock, paper, scissors, took off to a town or two over.

Dean stayed behind to clean up the rest of their 'vacation'. The night he finished, he wandered back into the motel room, exhausted. He opened the door, tossed his things onto the floor and, as he headed for his bed, almost missed the individual standing in the center of the room. Dean's hunter reflexes had him on the floor, hand in his duffle, and whipping out a sawed-off in mere seconds. "Who are you!" He shouted, only now focusing on the figure.

With a familiar step the individual inched closer, a long beige overcoat hanging from his slender shoulders. Dean recognized the coat instantly; it was the one he'd saved from a watery grave the last time he'd seen…

"Cas?" Dean hardly believed the name leaving his tongue, especially in the dimly lit room.

"Don't shoot," that same gravel-laden voice shook as the figure's hands slowly lifted. He came close enough that Dean could make out the shimmering blue of those eyes, no more doubt lingered.

"Cas!" Dean dropped the gun immediately and scrambled to stand, his legs carrying him far enough to wrap his arms around Castiel's shoulders. "Cas, I can't believe you're here."

"Dean…" The angel's tone was difficult to place; it sounded nostalgic which was good enough for Dean. "I've missed you." Cas whispered, as if he'd been the one to lose Dean.

"I've missed you more, man." Dean smiled as he lifted his head again, ignoring the gentle stinging in his eyes. "How did you know I'd be here? When did you get-" Dean's questions were cut short when Castiel's lips mashed into his, muscles moving slowly and tongue grazing the entrance to Dean's mouth.

Dean's eyes were wide when he pulled away, "Whoa! Cas, what're you doing?" He instinctively retaliated, pushing against Castiel's firm stance.

Cas didn't acknowledge Dean's tone; he paid attention to the body language he'd been shown and proceeded accordingly. He pressed himself against the physically larger man and nuzzled his cheek against Dean's neck, letting the shivers run down his spine, taking pleasure in it. "I missed you," he whispered again, the rumble of his voice sent a shudder throughout Dean's body that he couldn't begin to explain.

Dean sighed softly against Castiel's touch and rested his head on his angel's, enjoying the exploring hands on his tired and sore muscles. He took note of Castiel now and realized that the trench coat was all Cas was wearing. Surprising himself, Dean moaned from the realization and pulled Castiel closer until the angel's legs were spread, one leg between Dean's and Dean's leg between his.

"Why are you doing this?" Dean asked, despite the position he'd just pulled them into.

"Don't you know?" Cas looked up into his eyes, a brilliant blue practically glowing in the dark room. "I love you, Dean."

A pained beat in his chest almost knocked the wind out of him; Dean was speechless. He remembered sharing feelings of brotherhood with Cas but never did they say it like Castiel just had. The strength in his voice and behind his words was enough to bring tears to Dean's eyes. To Castiel it was obvious, like they'd written vows long ago and the fact that Dean was even a little bit surprised seemed to confused Castiel endlessly.

"I want you… I need you, Dean." Cas slowly moved against his human's leg and for the first time Dean felt the heavy weight of Castiel's cock pressing and sliding against him. Cas gasped lightly, a sound escaping him that Dean thought was too high to be in Castiel's range, considering his usually rough voice. But no, his angel squeaked and whimpered, the longer Dean left him unattended the more desperate the sounds and movements he made. "Dean, please…"

Dean pulled Cas toward the bed and laid him down on it, trench coat flaring open on both sides. Dean paused and looked down, taking in the sight of Castiel, angel of the lord, splayed out and vulnerable. Lips soft and parted, breathing heavy with his chest heaving with anticipation, legs spread elegantly and his dick erect and throbbing, thick and heavy with blood pumping through it. But those eyes… Dean couldn't get enough of staring into the lust filled, blue depths of Castiel's beautiful eyes. Pleading and so full of want, Castiel's eyes did all the begging for him without having to speak aloud.

"You really want this, don't you?" Dean asked quietly, looking Cas up and down. He didn't stop to think, didn't want to. He'd never done this with a guy and never wanted to, but Cas was somehow a different story. You never know what you have until it's gone; this was also true when it came to Castiel. Dean had no idea how he felt until after his hands had touched that waterlogged, discarded coat.

"I do," Cas whispered, as if there was nothing else he wanted in the world. As if nothing but Dean mattered.

This wasn't something Dean was willing to pass up and he deftly removed his own clothing, finding himself hardening faster now than he had in almost a year. Dean knew what he wanted right now; he wanted to hear more whimpers from that beautiful, fuck-able mouth. He licked his fingers and pressed the tip of one against Castiel's entrance, tight but wanting. He circled it, adding more and more pressure until he slipped one digit in. The sharp breath Cas sucked in and light buck of Castiel's hips was enough incentive for Dean to wriggle inside further. He gently massaged Cas open enough for another finger, enjoying the sounds and sights of his angel, his own cock hardening until it was painful.

Dean didn't bother with a third finger; he escaped to his bag for a moment, leaving Castiel thrusting upward on the bed, humping air. "Dean…" he whined, rolling his head to look.

Smiling, Dean returned with lube, smothering the chilled substance between his hands and coating his already dripping dick with it. He moaned from the cold touch, tempted to just rub one off and splatter Castiel's chest with it. 'That'd get the coat dirty though…' He thought, bringing up another shiver. The idea of his angel pressed into the bed wearing only that coat, being fucked in the ass and coming all over himself was definitely an image Dean wanted to see come to life.

Cas hardly had a chance to ready himself before Dean finger-fucked him with a lubed hand, slow at first but quickly picking up the pace and ramming his fingers as deep as they would go. Castiel moaned and cried out for more in an almost incomprehensible mess of gasps and exclamations. Dean was already in love with teasing the poor angel, watching him struggle against the feeling, it was good but there wasn't enough of Dean's fingers to fill him up the way he wanted. Dean's playing around ended when Castiel's back arched and he screamed at him desperately, "Fuck me Dean! Please, oh god please!" he begged.

Dean climbed over top of Castiel and slammed inside him, the first time they were together like this and the first time Dean clipped his prostate. Castiel cried in ecstasy with each thrust, letting Dean's cock fill and empty him over and over, demanding it be harder, faster, deeper. He was right on the edge but he held himself there, wanting to drag it out as long as he could. Despite himself, Castiel spilled his release, hot and sticky between their already sweaty chests. He panted heavily but this didn't stop Dean, the hunter continued to pound Castiel's prostate, over and over he slammed into it until he found his angel's dick erect again.

By now the cum had leaked off Castiel's slick body and was quickly being soaked up by the only clothing either of them was wearing. He writhed against the familiar fabric of his coat, his hands gripping the sides of it, letting go and slowly reaching to hold onto Dean. One hand found the soft brush of the man's hair; the other gripped an old scar he'd left on Dean's shoulder, his handprint fitting perfectly.

Dean looked down at his angel, watching that powerful being squirm at his mercy was almost too much. Castiel's expressions were indescribable, the hot blush on his cheeks combined with his eyes scrunched shut from another oncoming orgasm was enough to knock Dean over the edge; but that's not what did it. Castiel's hand on his shoulder again, squeezing and clinging to him like that was all Cas knew, Dean let go and filled Castiel's ass to the brim.

Cas whined immediately, feeling Dean soften inside him right before a second orgasm hit, right before he could release again. Cas didn't deny Dean the pleasure, though. He clenched his ass muscles and massaged out the last of his partner's lust until Dean pulled out and lay down next to Castiel.

The angel moaned another whimper and rolled over to hump Dean's leg again, his cock as hard as it was before and slowly dribbling out his pre-cum. "Dean," he pleaded, ignoring the mess leaking from his ass and down his thigh, "That's not fair…"

Dean smiled and pulled Castiel over him, "Turn around," he ordered. Cas cooperated, one of his legs forced over Dean to perch right above the man, his dick hovering over Dean's face. "Good, now spread your legs and lower yourself to me."

Again, Castiel listened. His legs slowly shifted apart, wondering how far was good enough when he suddenly felt the hot wet pressure of Dean's mouth on him. "Oh!" He gasped, legs trembling, "Dean" he kept himself from thrusting down to the best of his ability.

Dean ran his tongue along the swollen shaft of Cas' cock, tasting the semen partially dried there and lazily lapping it up. He sucked casually, flicking his tongue over the tip and clearing up the continuous stream of pre-cum. Castiel's moans grew more frantic the longer Dean played with him, the follow few sucking motions Dean made with just the right amount of pressure was enough and Castiel shuddered into his second orgasm. Dean let him ride it out, his hand coming up and massaging the base, and his tongue coaxing the white liquid out until it filled his mouth.

Cas collapsed forward, his trench coat having ridden up to his shoulder blades, exposing the rest of him. Dean admired the view, never having seen Castiel's ass before. "You're gorgeous," he whispered, a hand coming up and slapping the soft flesh of his angel's rear.

Cas yipped from the sudden sensation but relaxed again immediately. "And you're much better at this." He groaned as he lifted himself up again, turning around to lie with Dean properly, snuggling into the man's arms.

Dean sighed and nodded, resting his head on Castiel's tiredly. "Sam'll be pretty happy to see you." He muttered, his mind starting to drift off.

"Mmm…" Cas' eyes were closed, his arms around Dean's torso comfortably, "Who's Sam?" He asked the question simply, as if he'd never heard the name before, as if it were a passing statement.

Dean lifted his head suddenly, jostling Castiel a little, "What do you mean, 'who's Sam'?" He balked.

Cas furrowed his brow at the sudden movement but attempted to get comfy again, "I mean exactly what I said," he muttered, "What's so hard to understand about that?"

Dean shook his head, "No, no, no. You can't just say 'who's Sam'."

"I just did. Dean what's wrong?" Cas propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at Dean's disturbed expression.

"How did you get back? What happened before you got here?" Dean questioned, back in hunter mode and sitting upright.

"Some individuals claiming to be my brothers," Cas slowly followed Dean into the sitting position, hand coming up and gripping the trench coat closed, "I woke up alone, cold, wet… naked. I didn't move for a long time and they came to me, saying 'Castiel we're so happy you're back! Why haven't you come home?' and things like that."

"And?" Dean pushed, watching the distant look in Castiel's eyes.

"I hadn't known my name until that point, it was nice to finally learn it." Cas said quietly, mostly to himself.

Dean looked utterly shocked, "Wait, what!"

"I can't remember anything," Cas explained sadly, "I only know you, or… I knew my feelings for you; I couldn't remember your name or anything else. I just knew I was in love with a man, a man with short brown hair, hazel eyes… A face exactly like yours and voice that could reach into my being like no other." Castiel brushed his hand against Dean's arm before resting it there; "I knew it was you as soon as you came in the door."

"How'd you know I was here?" Dean asked more softly now, though he was still confused.

"My 'brothers', they told me to wait here to see you." Cas smiled shyly, "And here you are. I knew we were lovers, they were convinced I was insane but there's no way a feeling like this could be wrong."

As Dean's face contorted further with confusion he heard the familiar sound of fluttering wings and looked up, another familiar angel Dean hadn't really seen in a long time stood before him. Balthazar didn't bother with any explanations and cut straight to the chase, "Castiel's mind has been scrambled severely and will take time to heal, if it does at all. We need you to look after him until it's healed."

"Whoa! Hang on," Dean made sure he was covered by the blanket, "Where have you been? And what is he talking about? Why does he remember just me?"

"Apparently certain things in him were strong enough to stick through the storm his mental state has gone through. Before he was reduced o what you see now, Castiel must have had strong feelings for you before. They come out now unhindered and pure because he has nothing in his mentality to stop it." Balthazar explained in his usual quick way, "And I've been dead, thank you." He pointed at Cas, "By the hand of that useless feather-ball there, no less."

Dean looked back and forth between the angels, Castiel's eyes mostly lingering on him. "He killed you?" Dean looked back up at the apparent English-meat-suit-wearing angel.

"Yes," Balthazar replied curtly, "But considering all the side jumping I did, I'd have killed me too." He adjusted his shirt and shrugged, "Anyway angels are being resurrected left and right and I have to find another 'Team Free-Will' member before he jumps back into his personal protection agency again." With that Balthazar was gone.

Dean blinked and looked down at Castiel who had nuzzled against him again, mostly oblivious to what this really meant. Dean wasn't oblivious, but he knew just as little.

Months since then and Dean still hadn't told Sam. He'd kept Castiel hidden away in an abandoned home on the outskirts of a town. When he first did it he reasoned that he didn't want Sam knowing he was gay, he didn't want his brother to look at him like that because he knew exactly how he'd always acted and how they'd been raised.

But Dean was running out of reasons to keep driving through the same state, past the same town.