So I was going to post this up last night but I may or may not have ended up in a state similar to the one River's in in this story lol…hope everyone had a lovely new years eve, what I can remember of mine was great haha :D
Thanks so much for the lovely reviews, and also all the faves and alerts it's wonderful to know people enjoy my writing :)
"You cross with me?" She asks childishly. It's only now they're outside out of the pounding music and noise that he realises just how slurred her voice is and mentally kicks himself for not taking her back sooner. Granted, he's not entirely sober himself, he can feel the way his head is spinning more clearly now they're out in the chilled night air, but he knows he is nowhere near as drunk as River is - he's not sure she can even see straight.
He sighs, patting the hand on his arm. "No, River, I'm not cross with you. You're just young."
"I'm ooold, do you even know how old I am? I'm older than mum."
"Not as old as you though. You're ancient. Grandad."
"Thanks," he replies dryly as she laughs loudly. "Come on, keep walking."
"I aaaam old man."
The continue making their way down the street, slightly slower and definitely in less of a straight line than they usually would have walked. The Doctor pauses when the weight on his arm disappears and turns to see River holding onto a light post and swinging round it. He is about to point out that in her inebriated state that's probably not a wise thing to do, when she lets go and goes flying with a shriek - luckily he'd been ready for such a thing to happen and manages to catch her and keep them both standing.
"Doctor," she laughs, dragging herself upright by his jacket. "I feel dizzy!"
"I'm not surprised."
She stops laughing and lets go of him but sways alarmingly so he quickly grabs onto her with both arms before she can topple over.
"Really dizzy," she tells him, more seriously.
"Yes, spinning in circles tends to have that effect. Come on, back to the Tardis with you Miss Song."
"Mrs Song," she corrects, elbowing him lightly as they begin walking arm in arm again.
He smiles. "Yes. Although my Last name's not Song so that doesn't work."
"Yes it is."
"No, it's not."
"Well what is it then?"
He looks at her to see her regarding him with raised eyebrows. He smirks and taps his nose.
"Ow!" He cries when she slaps him on the shoulder. "What was that for?"
"I'm your wife, I should know your name."
He leans in close so his voice is low in her ear. "Spoilers, River."
She blinks for a minute, her brain taking longer to make sense of his words than it usually would. "…So…I will one day?"
He smiles sadly, thinking of the Library. "One day."
That seems to satisfy her and she nods.
"So," he asks her after a minute, to get his mind off the subject more than anything. "Do you make a habit of this?"
He question sounds casual, but if she had been in a more focused state she would have detected the unease in the Doctor's voice.
He waves his free arm about. "This. Going out…partying," he spits the word out, "drinking yourself silly…"
She snorts, and still has enough sense left to tease him, "only at weekends."
"River," He begins, but she interrupts him with a laugh.
"'M only joking. I mean…I probably could give you a list of the best bars in the universe, but, well…you were here tonight Doctor." She leans her head on his arm as they walk/shuffle down the street. "M'so happy when you're around. So…hmm. Yeah. Probably got a bit more merrier than I usually would have," she mumbles, her voice very slurred.
"Merrier?" He says with some amusement. "River. You're drunk."
She turns her head to smirk at him. "So are you."
"I don't get drunk." Perfectly on cue, he trips over, falling right down onto the floor. River laughs so hard she ends up kneeling next to him, holding her side as tears spill down her cheeks. "Now that, that - that! That was the pavement. Horrible, uneven, fifty-first century rubbish construction work. Look at it its all…rubbish!" He motions to the perfectly smooth, marble-like road they had been walking down.
"You're such a…an idiot sometimes!" She gasps between laughter, leaning over him to poke him in the chest.
"I'll have you know I'm one of the most intelligent beings in the universe, and I don't appreciate -"
She cuts him off with her lips on his and he freezes in surprise for a moment before his hands come up to settle on her sides. Clearly focused on nothing but him, River crawls over his body, sliding a leg the other side of his hips so she's straddling him as their mouths move together and she moans deeply into the kiss.
"River," the Doctor manages to push her back a bit. "River. Drunk kissing. Middle of the road. Not good…River…" She is ignoring him, giggling slightly as she tries to capture his lips with hers again.
With the alcohol in his system clouding his mind he easily gives in and lets her kiss him, his fingers dig into her sides slightly as he holds her a bit tighter to him and looses himself in the feel of her body against his.
"Oh good Lord." Comes a familiar Scottish voice. "Couldn't you two at least wait til you got back to the Tardis? We are in a public place you know."
River looks up at Amy standing next to them, hanging onto Rory's arm and then down at the Doctor and laughs. "Oh nooo mummy and daddy have caught us sweetie - we're in trouble!" She mocks playfully.
"Well - I - River -" He stammers, and wonders how long they'd been kissing - and since when he could loose track of time so easily!
"The Doctor's going to be in trouble if he doesn't remove his hands from the… - inappropriate places they're touching my daughter in the middle of the street." Rory cuts in, a finger raised to emphasize his point.
Quick as a flash, the Doctor's hands fly from River where they'd been settled, one on her bum and the other on her thigh under the hem of her short dress - when had they got there?
"Right, yes, sorry!" He fumbles awkwardly, attempting to dislodge River from him so he can sit up. "Um, this…I…"
"Save it Doctor," Amy rolls her eyes, "just try to wait until you're in an us-free and preferably non-public area before groping our daughter yeah?"
"Well we were, we were just, that is, I was just…taking her back to the Tardis," he stammers out, awkwardly getting to his feet. "Yes, Tardis. Come on you, up you get!"
"Come back here," she whines, reaching her arms out for him from where she's sprawled on the floor. "I was kissing you!"
"River!" He shoots an embarrassed look at her parents. "We need to get back to the Tardis," he tells her firmly as he grabs her by the hands.
"Oooh!" She grins and winks at him as she sits up. "Yes, we do." She giggles loudly as he tries to get her to her feet, which makes the task very difficult. Her shoes don't help either, he realises when she stumbles halfway up and sits back down again. Bending down, he helps her pull them off and takes them from her, wondering how the hell anyone could walk in the blasted things sober let alone intoxicated, and decides she's done a better job than he thought of staying upright so far.
"Come on," he finally sighs when he has her up, taking hold of her arm again to continue walking with her, her parents, also hanging on to each other, now following behind. He doesn't think he's ever been so relieved to see the familiar blue box loom up ahead in sight, not least because he thinks his own legs may possibly have turned into jelly and with River swinging off his arm very unsteadily it's a mission in itself to keep from tumbling over again.
They reach the doors, and he shoves the key in when, "I want to go dancing!" River suddenly exclaims, spinning on her heel.
"We've been dancing River," The Doctor tells her, spinning her back round by the arm.
"I feel like dancing!" She throws her hands in the air and spins round.
"River!" He tries to catch her, "River - stop that!" Finally grabbing hold of her by both her arms he pushes her in front of him, nudging the blue police box doors open with his foot telling her sternly, "Come on, Tardis, now!"
"Don't kick her Doctor, that's not nice!" River scolds him as he wrestles her through the doors.
"I didn't kick her, my foot was the only available thing to open the doors with - come on, there's stairs River."
"I knooow," she says, clutching hold of him as she trips up the steps. "Apples and paiiirs," laughing again, she falls to her knees up the top step and lets go of the Doctor to let herself collapse onto the floor. "Naughty Doctor kicked you didn't he girl?" she mumbles as she strokes a hand over the floor of the console. "She doesn't like you Doctor. She likes me. I love her…I love being here…feels like home…"
"Yes dear. Come on, up you get."
"Doctooor," she peers up at him as she rolls onto her back, covering one eye with her hand. "I can't see you very well."
"River. You need to get up…"
She shrieks with laughter.
The Tardis doors swing shut behind the Ponds and, "okay," Amy announces loudly as she pulls herself up the few steps to the console, hanging onto the railing a little more than usual. "I'll admit I'm…more than slightly tipsy," she gives a little burp. "But she," she points an accusing finger at River who is still slumped on the floor laughing as the Doctor tries in vain to drag her to her feet. "Is drunk."
"Yes," the Doctor agrees. "Yes she is very drunk and it's getting to be not funny anymore in fact I'm starting to be genuinely concerned about the amount of this potent alien alcohol she's actually consumed - River!" He shouts her name in her ear. "Are you ok are you feeling sick because throwing up might actually be a good idea right now!"
"What?" Rory asks in alarm, looking from Amy to River in panic. "Ailien alcohol! Is it dangerous!"
"Yes of course alien alcohol nobody drinks that rubbish earth stuff anymore and no, not in moderation but if too much is consumed too quickly it can poison the system and shut your organs down - River! Can you hear me?" He shouts in her ear again.
"Stop fussing," she slurs, batting him away with her hand. "I'm fiiiine! M'used to it." She tries to scramble to her feet and the Doctor quickly grabs one arm while Rory gets the other and together they manage to haul her up.
"Doctor," Rory asks sternly, looking a bit angry, "if you knew it was dangerous - why did you let us drink it?"
"It's not dangerous - only in excess - extreme excess - I could see how much you were all drinking and you'd have to drink, oh I don't know - seven and a half times what you did for it to have an effect - the average human would pass out long before they were able to drink enough to be any sort of danger to themselves but River…well I don't know how much she had before we arrived but obviously a hell of a lot more than I thought and she…well she's part Time Lord…what would knock a human out wouldn't effect us the same way and she'd most likely be able to stay conscious to carry on drinking a lot more than she should…"
"So what do we do?" Rory asked, starting to panic. Even Amy seems to have sobered up enough to look very worried.
"Stop iiiit m'okay!" The Time Lady manages to get out slowly. "Tired. Jusss take me to bed…ooh!" She falters and grins, turning to the Doctor to poke his nose. "V'said before…"
The Doctor goes bright red and pretends to ignore her cheeky statement while Rory clears his throat uncomfortably.
"Here," The Doctor ignores her statement, motioning to the chair by the console. "Sit her down there," he tells Rory as they help her over to it, letting her slump down onto the chair.
The Doctor takes out his screwdriver and after fiddling with some settings, he hurriedly scans her then presses buttons on his scanner to bring up a reading. He breathes a sigh of relief.
"Is she alright?" The worry seems to have sobered Amy up enough to be genuinely concerned.
"Yes, she's fine. She definitely hasn't had enough for it to be dangerous. She's just…"
They all turn at the sound of a thump accompanied by River's loud laugh to see her collapsed on her side, off the chair, stroking a hand over the Tardis floor. "This floor…is see through…" She laughs again. "That's funny!"
The Doctor tries to hold back a laugh of his own. "…Very, very drunk."
As the relief sinks in, Amy starts laughing too as she watches her loll on the floor.
"That's your daughter," The Doctor tells her in an accusatory way as the corners of his mouth quirk up with amusement.
"Yeah…can't say I haven't been there one too many times though."
"Well you know what they say," mutters Rory.
Amy ignores him. "Maybe we should move her…"
"Probably a good idea." The Doctor kneels down beside her and takes her arms to try and sit her up.
"Doctor." River says.
"Do you know you can see through your floor?" She asks him seriously.
"I am aware of that fact. Come on. Do you think you can stand up?"
She peers up at him. "Am I not?"
"No. You're not."
She screws up her face in confusion. "Oh."
"Right, come on," he says with a heavy sigh. They heave her to her feet which, unfortunately, causes Rory to loose his own balance and topple over.
"I'm alright, I'm fine," Rory says, holding a hand up as he pulls himself up.
"Bit like the blind leading the blind, this, isn't it?" Teases Amy.
Luckily the Doctor has managed to keep himself and River upright, although she's very unhelpfully leaning all her weight on him. "Well nice to see you helping!" He accuses.
"Yeah…don't think I'd be much help. Feeling quite dizzy actually…I'm just gonna sit down." Amy plonks herself on the chair River had just occupied as the Doctor rolls his eyes.
"Right, Roman, come on up, take the other side of her."
Rory does as he's told, hooking the arm the Doctor doesn't have hold of round his neck and the two men start walking her from the room.
"I'm fine, really," she claims in a slurred voice as they go. "You're making a fuss."
"We're not making a fuss, we're just looking after you River." Rory tells her. "Suppose that's my job really…" He trails off in thought.
River turns to grin at him. "Yes. You're a good dad, Rory."
"Thanks…even if that is still really weird…"
She leans her head on her fathers shoulder as she slows down.
"River, come on, keep walking," the Doctor reminds her, nudging her gently. "We're nearly there."
"Oh." Lifting her head, she turns it to look at the Doctor. "Hello sweetie," she says in surprise.
The Doctor rolls his eyes. "Hello, River."
With some difficulty, the two manage to get the young Time Lady into a bedroom where they let her collapse onto the bed. Rory steps back as the Doctor swings her legs up onto the bed and trucks her under the covers.
"Alright?" He asks her.
"Mmm hmm," she mumbles drowsily.
He turns to Rory. "I'll stay with her, you and Amy better go and get some sleep. Don't worry, I'll watch her."
"Right," Rory nods. "Yes. Um…which way is my room again?"
Rolling his eyes he explains, "Right out of the door, left at the end and third door on the right. But you'll want to go back to the console room for Amy first."
"Oh. Yes, right."
"Do you remember which way that is?" He asks slowly.
"Oh. Yeah. Think so."
"Doctooor," River moans sleepily from the bed, holding her hand out towards him. "Stay."
"I am staying, don't worry."
"C'mere," she whines. "Want you."
"I'm here River," he assures her, ignorant of her meaning as he takes her hand. "I'm definitely not going anywhere tonight - you just go to sleep!"
She giggles drunkenly and attempts to tug him down to her. "I didn't exactly have sleep in mind sweetie…"
"Parent still in the room!" Rory exclaims loudly.
"Yes, parent! Parent in the room River!" The Doctor repeats uncomfortably as he dodges a kiss and tries desperately to scramble out of her grasp and off of her. "And this is not happening while you're -" he yanks his bowtie from her hands - "drunk out of your mind!"
"Thanks, I'd rather not be aware it was happening anyway actually." Rory comments.
"Mmm, sweetie," River mumbles, getting a bare leg out from under the covers to wrap round his waist, keeping him perfectly trapped against her.
"River! Let me go!"
She giggles and with hands tight in his hair attempts to drag his mouth down to hers.
"Little help here Roman!" The Doctor pleads, his voice slightly high-pitched.
"Um. Yeah, I'm just gonna go…" Rory starts to back out the room awkwardly.
"Rory! Don't you dare leave me here! Rory! Help!"
Rory shuts the door on the Doctor's cries and turns to walk away from the room, running a hand over his slightly pale face.
That was a scene he definitely had not needed to witness.
So that last little scene was actually where the idea for this story came from, as it was originally going to a chapter for 'Awkward", but yeah once I started writing the beginning it kind of grew lol.
PLEASE tell me what you thought! :D
Now this is the question; do I finish here or do I write another 'morning after' chapter?