A lot of you have been waiting for this to be updated, and I have to say this is my favorite chapter yet, I had a blast writing it.
Logan ended his night with a large glass of Red bull and Vodka and Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 2, instead of the sexual frustration and a good session of masturbation like he had expected too. He took of his Harry Potter fan club T-shirt as he made his way into the kitchen to put away the bottle of brandy and clean the dirty glass hastily. He skipped off to his bedroom and threw himself down on his bed; he was asleep before he could turn over into a more comfortable position.
"Logan. Logan. Loggaann."
Logan eyes fluttered to see an angel in front of him. Or what appeared to be an angel. But was really just Kendall, blonde haired and green eyed, pink mouthed, smiling so warmly at him, dressed all in white. Just like the room they were in, white and bare of anything. He looked around himself nervously, down at the floor that was almost cloudy like, as if he could slip right threw, everything was so pure and innocent here, vulnerable, impressionable, where was he? He placed his hands down on the floor, and it felt like clouds, or what you would think clouds would feel like, very soft, like mix of cotton and silk, and it was cold, like he had just tiptoed into the ocean in mid-May.
He looked up at the figure before him, who was very solid as far as he could see. The blonde had his hands stuffed deep into his pockets, and was waiting patiently for Logan's attention.
"Kendall where are we?" he said before he could stop himself.
Logan sat up from the floor; he too was dressed all in white, and dressed like he was going to a wedding rather than to bed, white button up rolled to the elbows, white vest, whit fitted pants, everything so white it almost blinded him, Even his shoes were shiny and white. Dream Kendall crouched down so he was at Logan's eye level and smiled at him.
"We're in your dreams silly." Dream Kendall laughed, and for the first time ever Logan didn't see a trace of anxiously or worry on the blonde's perfect face, his eyes so warm and green, his face so relaxed, his smile so calm and happy. He was looking at Logan like he was the most amazing thing in the world, and when their eyes met again the blond's cheeks the slightest shade of Rosie pink.
"My Dreams?" he repeated. He stood up and Dream Kendall smiled and followed, his hands still deep in his pockets, but Logan sensed it was more of a habit than something nervous.
"Yes. Your dreams. Well more like...were your soul is. We're where all your wishes and hopes and desires are, Logan." Dream Kendall smiled and looked around the bare room, Logan did the same. All his wishes and hopes and desires? He had no idea they would ever be so plain. Where were the white sand beaches? Where was the trip to Europe? Where were the best seller books on Mental Health? His eyes went back to blond, unconvinced.
"I don't see anything but you, Kendall. And you seem...different." Logan ended lamely, eyes wide.
"There used to be tones of things in here before I came along." Kendall reassured him. "There still here, Logan. Just under the surface. But you can't see them because you're not knowledge them now, your mind is wrapped around one thing, and one thing only."
"And what's that?" Logan asked, biting his lip.
"You said I seem different." Dream Kendall said, his eyes drifted down to his bright white sneakers.
"Because you do."
"I'm your greatest desire Logan. Me, Kendall, Happy and normal. Un-anxious, un-nervous, just me the way I was before. So you can be with me. You want to be with me, don't you Logan?" This new dream Kendall said, his green eyes sparkling like leaves twinkling with rain drops.
"Yes," Logan said in a breathless voice, so overcome with the beauty of him, with the very idea of being able to have Kendall, for Kendall to be happy, for them to be together.
"Then you have to help me, Logan." Dream Kendall said, tears shined in his bright green eyes.
"Anyway I can Kendall." Logan swore softly.
"I might not ever be this way, Logan. Totally whole, and totally unstressed. But I'll try my best to get better, but I need you to help me Logan. You have to swear that whatever you find out, whatever secrets I tell you, you won't run away." Kendall said, tears started trickling down his cheeks, Logan felt the urge to wipe them away, but stayed put, not wanting to stop the blonde from talking, this was information he needed after all.
"What are you talking about Kendall?" Logan wondered, his brows forwarding in worry.
"I don't know. I only know as much as you know, Logan." Dream Kendall smirked in amusement, his tears going away as quickly as they had come.
"What does that mean?" Logan asked, running his hands threw his perfect hair.
"It means that I'm not really Kendall. I'm just what you want him to be like. I'm made up from your imagination. I can't know something that you don't know, Logan." Dream Kendall laughed softly, but Logan wasn't amused, just confused and very worried.
"So you're saying that..." Logan trailed off, apparently he needed to explain himself to his own self, how weird.
"I'm saying that you want to be with Kendall. Even with all those things that are so wrong and all messed up with him. But you know that's not all there is. You can tell there's something about Kendall that nobody's telling you, that he's not telling you. Something that's the very core of what's wrong with him, can you guess?" Dream Kendall said in a hopeful voice.
"He said something about his dad hitting him, and sometimes his dad's friends hitting him." Logan said slowly. "But there was nothing ever like that in his report. Are you saying that no one knows that Kendall was being abused by his father?" Logan asked, his face was scrunched up with this new information, trying to place it all.
Dream Kendall shrugged. "I'm not sure."
"What do you mean you're not sure?" Logan said, frustrated his hands balling into fists at his side.
"I'm only as sure as you're sure." Dream Kendall let out his adorable laugh, and his heart slammed against his rib cage almost painfully.
"Well I'll have to ask Kendall," Logan began, his face relaxing as he thought about what he was going to say to his sensitive little blonde
"No," Kendall almost shouted, it echoed around the room and would have hurt his ears if he wasn't so annoyed.
"What do you mean 'no'?" Logan almost screamed back.
"For gods sakes Logan, don't forget how Kendall is. He's not like me, and he might never be. You have to be gentle with him, he's frail." Dream Kendall rolling his eyes, his hands on his hips, an air of sassiness surrounding him.
"And what about that 'Mark' dude he mentioned when he was locked up," Logan said, frowning, in the distance, on the wall opposite him he could see a picture, no not a picture…it was moving. It looked like an ocean, aquatic colors, and then in the very distance was a spot that looked kind of red.
"Is that my sail boat?" Logan asked, cutting himself off.
Kendall looked at it, raised his eyebrow, and then nodded. "It appears so. Why do you want a sail boat? You live in Minnesota…." Kendall said, rising on of his cute eyebrows.
"I want to move somewhere like….well like Costa Rica or the Bahamas or something and open up a mental hospital like Rush, it would be beautiful, so everyone there wouldn't feel like there was something wrong with them, they would be able to enjoy life too," Logan said, a sigh escaping his lips dreamily, a very weird dream but he wasn't ashamed of it.
"I bet Kendall would like it there," Dream Kendall said, smiling softly as the waves seemed to be coming towards them slowly. Logan saw something crash out of the water and go back in like a mermaid, but he knew it was a dolphin.
"All he likes is his room," Logan said, sighing sadly, the waves were close now, a foot away shining in the white room, or what used to be a white room, now there were standing on a white sandy beach, Logan looked behind him to see a forest made from what looked palm trees, in the center was what looked like a house, made from logs, its curtains pale red clothe, swaying in the cold breeze. Logan looked down again to see water around his ankles, he backed up in alarm but when the water retreated he noticed that he wasn't wet.
"Really? I would think what he really likes is safety," Kendall said, a dozen or so sail boats were now streaming across the water, all different colors.
Logan looked at Dream Kendall. "What are you trying to say?" he snapped, annoyed.
Dream Kendall rolled his eyes. "You already know the answer, Logan!"
"Just tell me!" Logan said, frustrated now, he was clawing at his hair, ready to start tarring it out, he knew he had the pieces he just couldn't put them together.
"I just told you!"
"No you didn't just tell me will you!"
Dream Kendall rolled his eyes again, and gave Logan an exasperated look. "Okay dumbass I'll tell you even though you already know! You're basically telling yourself! Now, Kendall was beaten by his father and his father's friends, correct?"
Logan nodded slowly, correct, yes, but what the hell was he getting at?
"Okay and this Edward Marcus guys….he probably raped Kendall, double correct?" Kendall said in a voice that he suggested that he was speaking to a five year old that wasn't the smartest kid in the class, Logan nodded slowly, wincing at the very idea of it, it hurt him so bad, thinking of someone hurting Kendall like that. The boy was just so….soft….frail, so innocent. This guy was the one who had taken a sweet little boy and turned him into a bundle of nerves and worry just by a one decision.
"But you've seen things, noticed things, like his drawings, his love for knowledge, things that were so anxious wouldn't have a mind to do, if he was totally convinced he would be their forever, why would he look for things that would lead him out?"
Logan bite his lip. "So that means…that means….he's just scared."
"Yes," Dream Kendall said, nodding his head, looking proud of him, he drew out the world a little longer than necessary and Logan came to the conclusion that he wasn't the nicest person to himself.
"So…he's scared." Logan said lamely, like a question. That Master's degree was nothing when you couldn't understand anything as simple as someone being scared. Oh how he wanted to face palm and fall into a bottomless pit.
"Of them…hurting him again. Of anyone hurting him again. That's why…..stays the way he is. He freaks himself out before he can heal. And his diseases….there not really diseases…..he's just…he's just frightened." Logan said, the water was coming up to his knees now, there was what looked like sharp babies swimming around his calves, rubbing them affectionately. Why was that part of his island fantasy? He would never understand himself….
"Well I don't think all of them are, the OCD is definitely real, and the Body whatever disorder," Kendall waved his hand dismissively.
"Body Dimorphic Disorder," Logan said, rolling his eyes.
"Whatever, and the Autism and Insomnia, he has that and well….okay I guess it's a possibility that he does have all these things, but there not as bad as he makes them seem, or else he's convinced himself he's incurable," Dream Kendall said, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "You need to get him out of there Logan,"
"Are you insane?" Logan almost shouted. "Get him out how? The state would never let him out, he's to unstable."
"Then you make him stable you dumbass," Kendall rolled his bright green eyes in annoyance.
"And how the hell am I supposed to do that?" Logan demanded.
"You'll have to figure that out by yourself," Kendall said, he was looking up at the sky that was blinded yellow, like the sun was shining right above them, except Kendall look right at it without getting blinded. Logan looked up too and winced away from it, he rubbed at his eyes frankly, trying to get his vision back, when he looked back at Kendall he was twenty feet away from him in white swim trunks and on a red surf board floating out towards the waves.
"Where are you going?" Logan shouted, taking a step forward. Suddenly the water was at his neck and he was soaking wet.
"A minute in dreams is a hour in real life Logan Mitchell, and you've been here for seven minutes," Kendall smirked, the water was coming up choking him, his mouth was under, his nose, his hair, the last thing he saw was Kendall clapping his hands as thought was enjoying himself and then getting pulled into the water by something, he let out a scream before he went under, Logan started panicking at once and dove under, he gasped, his eyes clamped shut, and then opened, the salt burning his eyes, he saw Kendall a few feet away getting pulled by something, a creature, a monster, with teeth the size of razor blades, and brown hair, and white skin, almost see through which looked just like….Camille? The girl's body was covered with shark teeth marks and was covered with seaweed for clothes; Camille started clawing at Kendall's shins, making him bleed.
"Where your dreams lay, your nightmares lay also,"
Logan woke up with a start, gasping in fresh air.
So that was ….okay? Hope you all liked it. Please Review!
Lots Of Love,