I Hear Them Laugh
Prompt: Cersei (Robert) I hear them laughing at me any rating
Spoilers:Mm, none. Or, I guess very mild (about Joffrey's parents)
Notes: Early days of their marriage, why Cersei wants , I had intended to go a totally different direction, and I lost the thread. So it starts off slightly different than it ends.
This was a prompt fill on LJ
They thought she didn't know! Those idiot, those fools, how could she not know? Robert didn't even try to hide it, and Jamie, sweet, loyal, beautiful Jamie, had told her out of pity.
She hadn't been surprised, not really. No longer was she the silly young girl who was blindly in love with the handsome king, no, no longer was she an innocent. That had all gone the night of her wedding, when she had expected rapture and received disappointment.
Robert was still in love with Lyanna Stark, he had never stopped loving her, and Cersei had the misfortune to be nothing like her. Not in looks, not in temperament, not in anything.
She heard them laughing at her in the halls, when she walked past them, when Robert was telling stories of his conquests. They didn't even bother to muffle their laughter when she was in sight, and, even if she didn't know already, their smiles and leers would have told her. Robert doesn't love you, he never will. You're just a pawn to him, someone who gave him the kingdom. You fulfilled your purpose, you're useless now.
But she wasn't useless. If Robert didn't want her, he wouldn't have her. He could sleep with his whores. He could continue to ignore her and treat her as nothing, fine. She was Queen, and who said she needed a King? Who said she needed someone else to make her powerful?
She was Cersei Lannister, and the Lannister's were the richest family in the kingdom. Maybe not the most powerful, but money could buy anything if there was enough of it.
Now, walking past Robert's room, Cersei didn't flinch when she heard the giggles that wafted out. She didn't look away when Robert's friends leered at her or gave her pitying looks. She instead held her head high and stared into their eyes. I am not weak. I don't need Robert. He will regret this, she broadcasted. Eventually, the men stopped looking at her like they felt sorry for her, and Robert stopped trying to apologize.
In a way, it was good that they had thought she was ignorant. It allowed her to be strong, it allowed her to become the powerful woman she was. If they had told her instead of keeping it a 都ecret some of that power would have disappeared, no one would admire her for continuing on.
In a way, she was glad that Robert still loved Lyanna Stark, that he would never father her children, that he slept with whores. It had freed her to love Jaime and have the children she wanted, it gave her the chance to put Lannisters on the throne, not Baratheons.
She heard them laugh when she walked through the halls, yes, but they wouldn't laugh for long. Soon, she would be the power on the throne, soon, she would be the one laughing while they averted their eyes.
Robert had never loved her. Robert had never wanted her. Fine. She might have loved him once, but no longer.
Now, he was merely a means to an end for her, as she once was to him.