Truth be told, it didn't rain often in Liberty City. Then again, it wasn't exactly sunny either. It was more like a grime infested cesspool of smoggy air and ungodly pollution of all kind wrapped up in a rat infested, slum cocktail. Yeah, that was the only way to describe Liberty City weather. But of course, on the one day that Niko happened to lack a car, that had to change. Niko could deal with the roaches, a quick stomp and problem solved. He could deal with the air, being around fire and therefore smoke so much had made him all but immune to the LC smog. He could even deal with the godawful smell of everything, his sense of smell had been irreversably damaged from being around so many corpses. But the one thing, that he couldn't deal with, was rain. The second he stepped outside, he was engulfed in a roaring tsunami of pounding liquid beating against his skin, freezing him down to the bone and seeping through his clothes and ruining them. Hey, I've got an idea! Why don't I wear the 2000$ Perseus suit, that explicitly reads "Dry clean only" on the tag, on this little outting? Yeah that's a great idea!

Sigh. Well, no use crying over spilled milk. Just look on the bright side, Niko. Maybe if you get a cold, that can develope into pneumonia, which can in turn swell up your lungs into an infected heap of inflamed tissue, rendering your respiratory system completely inoperational, causing you a slow painful death in the form of suffocation. Maybe then Roman will stop calling.

"If only god were so meriful." Pushing that thought aside, Niko focuses on his next goal; finding a car.

Left: No car

Right: No car


The rain continues to beat on him harder then any fist he's ever encountered, and he's chilled down to his core. He needed a car. But where?

Well, looks like god does take pity on the weak, as at that very moment, Niko can just barely make out the headlights of an incoming car. He runs out into the Bohan streets, directly in the vehicles path, and begins waving his hands.

"Hey you, stop!" He screams. Niko waits patiently for the car to stop, never moving from his spot. His eyes buldge out of his head when he realizes, the driver has no intention of stopping.

"Hey, whoa whoa whoa- AARRGGHH!" 3000 pounds of hulking metal slam into Niko's bare body at 40+ MPH, sending him skidding down the street. God can keep his pity next time.

A feral growl escapes Niko's lips as he gets to his feet... only to stumble and fall flat on his face.

"MOTHERFUCKER!" He screams as he once again pushes his body up, carefully maintaining balance on his damaged legs. With speed that would easily earn in first prize in the limp racing division of the Olympics, Niko wobbled back towards the car, who's driver is currently exitting, and points his pistol in her face. Before you can say "omg it's a 80 year old lady" Niko realizes... it's an 80 year old lady.

"Oh sunny I am so sorr- EEK!"

"No, ugh, lady wait I- AAAAAHHHHH!" A pain reminisent of a thousand pin needles all simoultaniously stabbing Niko suddenly erupts directly in his eyes, and he stumbles back, falling down on his ass.

"YOU AIN'T TAKING MY CHECK!" The woman screams as she empties the entire contents of a pepper spray canister directly into Niko's face. Niko, meanwhile, proceeds to curl up into the fetal position on the ground and helplessly bat at the woman. Your witnessing the results of years of intense, hardore military training.

"What am I doing?" Niko hears his own voice echo. His brow furrows, and with a newly achieved sense of dedication, he reaches out, clasping the womans hand and disarming her of her weapon. The lady suddenly begins to back away in terror as Niko rises, his eyes beat red, his breath quick and ragged, and once again raises his gun.

"No get out of here before I do something I'll regret!" He says with enough venom to make a poison arrow frog blush. But the woman isn't going anywhere. Like Batman reaching for a handy dandy canister of bat-shark repellent, the devil spawn retrieves something from her purse. Before Niko can react, 50,000 volts of electricity have somehow found their way into his system, and he once again falls to the ground.

"I'VE GOT A TAZER!" The woman screams.

"NO SHIT!" Niko spits in between tremors. The hag from hell uses this opportunity to kick Niko while he's down... repeatedly. He would try to stop her, but he's to busy convulsing and foaming from the mouth. Finally, after an eternity of high powered falcon kicks, the woman stops.

"I hope you like prison food!" She says as she whips out her cell phone. Niko doesn't respond.

"Hey!" She yells as she gives him another kick. "Do you know who I'm calling! It's the police!"

Niko looks up then, his face adorned with the scowl of a thousand Scrooges, and speaks. "Oh, really? I just figured you asked me if I like prison food because you were ordering takeout!"

"Such rudeness!" The woman replies. Before Niko can point out how utterly absurd that statement is, the words "Hello, you've reached the Liberty City emergency contact line." drawl from the other end of the phone, and Niko darts. Adrenaline floods his system, and he jumps up, shoving the woman aside, and diving into the open car door. He slams on the gas, and skids off into the night, leaving the woman howling at the moon.