A/N I'm not quite sure how much I like this one but I figured what the heck. This is set in season one 'The Dragon's Call'. I had really been thinking about how much Merlin had changed over the seasons, going from being really ashamed of what he was into the confident, really awesome young man that he is now. It's from Gaius's POV. Please review!


Ashamed. That was the only word there was to describe it.

The young man who sat on the bed beside him was ashamed of everything that he was. He was powerful and his magic instinctual- like nothing no one had ever seen. A gift that many people would kill to have.

But to him… to him the magic he was born with was a curse that he couldn't escape; one that he wanted so desperately to be free of and yet couldn't imagine living without.

And there seemed to be no answer to why he was the way he was. And so he was a monster in his own eyes.

Different. Alone. Hating everything he was and loving it just as much.

So, he was ashamed.

A/N Was it worth your time? I hope so. And for anyone who cares I am going to write a continuation of my last story 'Challenge'. It might take me a little while to put the freakin' awesome fight scene I have planned into words but if you're patient it will come hopefully sometime soon. Thanks again!