A/N: So this story is going to go in chronological order, from 2006 to 2011, and each chapter will correspond to a different kiss Brittany shared with a member of the Glee Club. That means that there will necessarily be some Brittany/everyone shipping, but it will also focus heavily on the development of Brittany and Santana's relationship. Ye have been warned.
My first kiss was during a game of spin-the-bottle.
Azimio had a class party at his house to celebrate the end of sixth grade. I had never been to a party at a boy's house before. Santana sometimes got invited to boys' birthday parties because she played with them at recess, but the boys in our class thought I was too weird. I was so excited to be invited to Azimio's party, until Noah told me that it was a class party and that Azimio's mom made him invite everyone. He almost made me cry when he said that, but then Santana kicked him in the shins and I laughed instead.
On the day of the party, my mom actually dropped us off instead of parking and coming inside with us. I felt like a teenager as we walked up to the door, listening to the music and laughter coming from the backyard. "I hope they have beer," Santana said.
"My dad says you can't drink beer until you're a grown up," I said.
"That's not true, my brother drinks beer all the time," Santana replied. We got to the front door and she rang the doorbell. After a few moments, Azimio's mother opened it.
"Hi, girls," she said. "You can go straight out back. There's pizza." She smiled at us in a friendly way.
"Is there beer?" I asked politely.
Mrs. Adams's smile faltered. She opened her mouth and closed it again, like she wanted to say something but her voice wasn't working or something. Santana gave me a horrified look and grabbed my hand, practically dragging me to the back door. When we got there, she pushed it open. "Geez, Britt," she said when we got outside. "What the hell was that?"
"That was rude," I said with a frown. "You shouldn't have dragged me away."
"You can't just ask if they have beer," Santana told me, looking angry. I pouted.
"But you said kids can have beer too," I said.
Santana's face softened as she looked at me. "It's okay," she said. "Just don't talk about beer with grown-ups. It's, like, a secret."
"Okay," I said. "I love secrets."
Santana scanned the yard. Some people were swimming in the pool, and others were standing by the table of food. "What should we do?"
I looked across the yard and spotted one of my favorite toys by the fence. "A trampoline!" I said. "Can we go on it? Please?"
Santana hesitated. "We can go on the trampoline at my house later," she said, glancing over to the corner of the yard, where some of the kids in our class were sitting in a huddle. "I want to see what they're doing."
"Okay," I agreed. Santana was still holding my hand as she led the way over to our friends. When I was younger, my mom made me hold Santana's hand whenever we were in public so that I wouldn't get lost. I was old enough now not to get lost anymore—at least most of the time—but Santana always held my hand anyway. It surprised me, because she always said hand-holding was for babies and people in love, but I didn't complain. Her hand was very soft.
When we got closer to the huddle of people, I began to recognize them from our class, including the stupid-head Noah Puckerman. "Hey." Noah looked up at us as we got closer. He and a few other boys and girls were all sitting in a circle on the ground. "Do you want to play?" he asked, holding up an empty soda bottle—one of those cool glass ones—and grinning at us.
"Sure!" Santana said quickly. She walked over to Finn and Dave Karofsky, who scooted over to make room for us. Santana sat down, so I did too.
"Are we playing Duck-Duck-Goose?" I asked.
"Nope," Noah said. "We're playing Spin-the-Bottle." Next to me, Santana was smiling. I frowned.
"What's Spin-the-Bottle?" I whispered to her.
"You'll see," she whispered back. Noah put the bottle on the ground in the middle of the circle. Then he reached forward and spun it hard. It twirled around for several seconds before stopping, with the point of the bottle facing a girl named Amy. She was in my math class and we used to be friends, but then she got mad at me for always copying her homework. Amy giggled and looked up at Noah. Her face was all red. Noah just shrugged and crawled across the circle. Then, suddenly, they started kissing.
"What?" I said loudly. "Why are they doing that?"
"Shh!" Santana said as the rest of the people in the circle looked at me like I was crazy. "That's how you play the game," she said quietly. "You kiss the person who the bottle lands on."
"Oh," I said, nodding. On Santana's other side, Dave snorted.
"Shouldn't you be at home playing with your Barbies or something?" he said to me. "This is a big-kid party." He looked over at me with glinting eyes and I knew he was making fun of me. Which didn't make any sense because I did still play with Barbies and Santana told me that it wasn't a big deal. Sometimes she played, too. I bit my lip and tried not to look too upset, but it was hard.
"Shut the fuck up, Karofsky," Santana said. Noah and Amy stopped kissing immediately so that they could look at her. Everyone in the circle was looking at Santana now. They looked scared.
"You—you can't say that word," Dave spluttered.
"I just did, you dumb fuck," she said. "Don't make fun of Brittany."
Dave got all quiet. "Fine." Noah went back to his place in the circle, watching Santana the whole time. I didn't like the way he was looking at her. It was like he wanted to eat her. I took Santana's hand again and put her fingers in between mine. She squeezed them lightly as Noah handed the bottle to Azimio, who was sitting next to him. Azimio took the bottle and gave it a spin.
I learned how to play Spin-the-Bottle pretty quickly. It was easy. You just passed the bottle around the circle and whoever it pointed to, you had to kiss. Sometimes the bottle would go from a boy to another boy, or a girl to another girl, and then everyone would start to laugh and get all uncomfortable. And then you had to spin again. When Finn, who was right before me, got the bottle, he spun it and it landed on Santana. I felt her grip on my hand tighten. "Nice," Noah said.
Finn looked over at Santana and gave her a crooked smile. She looked back at him unhappily. "I don't want to kiss that big freak," she said.
"San, be nice," I said softly. Santana looked at me and I was surprised to see that she looked a little scared. I knew she had never kissed anyone before. We talked about it a lot. Sometimes we practiced on Teddy bears and Santana always said that she was going to best kisser ever. I didn't know why she looked so nervous to kiss Finn, since my Teddy told me that Santana was very good at kissing. I looked over at Finn, whose eyes were moving around anxiously, and then back at Santana.
"What's the matter?" Noah asked teasingly. "First kiss?"
Santana glared at him. "No," she said, letting go of my hand as she spoke. My eyes widened in shock. Santana already had her first kiss and she didn't tell me about it? "Move, Britt," she said, and I backed up so that I was no longer between Santana and Finn. She leaned forward and I saw the top of her shirt slip down slightly to reveal her new pink bra that was underneath. I wanted to tell her to pull it up, but she was already moving towards Finn and so I didn't want to say anything. I saw Finn's eyes dart down to her chest and then back up to her face. He blushed and I knew that he had seen her bra too, and suddenly I felt embarrassed for her. I think Finn was embarrassed, too, because he looked completely frozen and he didn't even close his eyes as Santana pressed her lips roughly to his.
Sometimes, instead of kissing my own Teddy bear, I would watch Santana kiss hers. She would close her eyes slowly and lean in until her lips just lightly touched the bear. Her head would tilt to the side—I don't know why she did that, but I saw it in movies, so I knew that it must be right—and she would wrap her arms around the bear's neck. Then she would pull tighter and sometimes she would open her mouth slightly. Her tongue would dart out and sweep across the Teddy's fuzzy smile, and at that point, she would pull away, laughing. "I got hair in my mouth," she would always say. "Me, too," I would respond, pretending I that I had been making out with my bear instead of spying. It was hypnotizing to watch her. One time, after she went home, I picked up her bear and tried to kiss it just the way that she did. I knew it probably didn't look the same, though. Her lip gloss had gotten all over his face and then it got on my lips, and I didn't wipe it off right away. I wondered if that was what kissing Santana was like. I wondered if Finn would get her lip gloss on his lips, too. I hoped that he didn't. Lip gloss would look funny on a boy.
But Santana didn't kiss him like she kissed the bear at all. She didn't even put her arms around him. Her eyes and mouth were closed super tight and it didn't seem very gentle. She pulled away fast and went back to her spot. Her arm came up to clean her mouth furiously and I leaned in towards her. "How was it?" I asked curiously.
"Disgusting," she replied immediately. When she had cleaned Finn's grossness off of her, she held my hand again. I realized suddenly that it was my turn and I used my other hand to pick up the bottle off the ground. But nobody was watching me because they were all staring at Finn. He had turned all red and all of the boys were looking at him and snickering. He had his hands in his lap and he looked horrified.
"What's happening to him?" I asked Santana. She looked over at Finn and then she started to look all red and horrified too.
"You have to be joking me," she said.
"I'll—uh, I'll be right back," Finn stuttered. He got up from the circle super fast and practically ran towards the house. I felt worried as I watched him leave.
"Where is he going?" I asked.
Dave snorted. "To take care of something," he said. Noah started laughing and they high-fived. I looked at Santana, still confused.
"What thing?" I asked. She shook her head.
"I'll explain later."
"Okay." I put the bottle in the middle of the circle like everyone else had done. Then I spun it. It went around the circle a few times before finally coming to a stop—in front of Matt Rutherford. I looked up and met his eyes. "Hi," I said.
"Hey," he replied. I giggled and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.
"Um, okay," I said. Santana looked at me encouragingly, so I went across the circle towards Matt. Most guys would probably be mad if they had to kiss me, since they thought I was a freak, but Matt's eyes were smiley and it made me feel sort of nice. I knelt down on the grass in front of him and leaned in slowly. Santana said not to close your eyes until the last second, otherwise you might miss, so I kept them open until our lips were touching. Then I closed my eyes and stayed still for a few seconds. His lips were soft and it was kind of nice. After waiting a tiny bit, I pulled away and smiled. Matt was smiling too, and I felt a little shiver of excitement.
Santana's turn was next, so I crawled back to my spot and handed her the bottle. She looked at it and then up at me. "I'm bored," she said. "We should do something else."
"We haven't even gotten around the circle yet," Dave whined from next to her.
"I don't care," Santana said, standing up and letting the bottle drop to her side. "You losers can keep playing if you want. I'm gonna get some pizza."
"Me too," I said, standing up. Everyone looked up at us. Then Noah shrugged.
"Whatever, we don't need them," he said. Dave picked up the bottle and Santana began to walk towards the table with the food. I followed her.
"Were you really bored?" I asked.
"Yeah, and hungry," Santana said. She picked up a plate and headed for the pizza boxes.
"Did you actually kiss someone before Finn?" I asked.
Santana paused. She looked around and when she was sure nobody was listening, she said, "No. I would have told you if I had."
"Then why did you lie?" I asked.
Santana shrugged. "I don't know. Do you want pepperoni or cheese?"
"Cheese," I replied. Santana pulled out two pieces of cheese pizza and put them on her plate. Then we walked over by the pool. There were chairs and tables set up and we took a seat at the corner of one of them. At the other end, Rachel Berry was sitting with Mercedes Jones. I waved at Rachel—we had taken ballet together since we were little and she was kind of my friend. Rachel waved back and Santana rolled her eyes.
"You should seriously stop talking to that freak so much," she said, taking a big bite of her pizza.
"But she's nice to me," I said.
Santana swallowed. "So? I'm nice to you. You don't need anyone else. Besides, she looks like that thing from Lord of the Rings. Those short ones with the hairy feet. What are they called?"
"Hobbits," I said. I was currently in a Lord of the Rings phase and had been forcing Santana to watch the movies with me. But she always fell asleep.
"Right, hobbits," she said with a snort. "I think I'm going to call her that from now on. Hobbit."
"But Rachel doesn't have hairy feet, I don't think," I said.
"She probably does," Santana replied. She pushed the plate towards me. "Are you going to eat your pizza?"
"Yeah," I said, pulling off a gooey piece of cheese and popping it into my mouth. I liked to eat pizza in layers. Most people thought it was gross, but Santana said it was cute, so I only did it around her. "Anyway, I won't see Rachel anymore because I'm going to a new dance studio."
"Good," Santana replied. "You're a way better dancer than her, anyway."
"I know," I said. There were a few minutes of silence as we both ate our pizza. Santana finished her entire slice right as I got to the tomato sauce layer. She reached her finger over and dipped it in the sauce before bringing it to her mouth.
"So we both had our first kisses, then, huh?" she said, sucking on her finger.
"Yeah," I replied. "It's weird."
"Weird," Santana echoed. "Yeah. It was."
"It was nice, though, too," I said, remembering how soft Matt's lips had been. "Better than kissing the Teddy bear, anyway."
"You think?" Santana asked.
I nodded. "Definitely better."
Santana sighed. "I don't know. I had to kiss Finn."
"Finn is okay," I pointed out. I was confused because Santana and I sometimes made 'Hot or Not' lists for our class, and Finn was usually on the 'Hot' list. But Santana was shaking her head.
"He's a bad kisser," she said.
"But you only kissed him for, like, a second," I said. "How do you even know?" I thought about my kiss with Matt again. It was nice, sure, but I didn't know if he was good at it or not. But was he? Was I? I bit my lip. What if I was a bad kisser just like Finn?
"I don't know, he just wasn't very good at it," Santana said. "It didn't feel right."
"Maybe if you kissed someone else, it would feel better," I suggested. "We should have kept playing. It was your turn to spin."
"Nah," Santana said. "I didn't feel like kissing anyone else tonight."
"Alright," I said.
"Did you want to keep playing?"
I shrugged. "I want to do whatever you want to do."
Santana smiled and moved her chair closer to mine. "I'm glad it's finally summer," she said. "We can do whatever we want."
"Can we hang out every day?" I asked hopefully.
"Yep," Santana said with a nod. "Every day."
"What about the days I have dance class?"
"I'll ride my bike and pick you up," she said.
"Do you promise?" I asked.
"Pinky promise?" I held out my pinky in front of me. Santana looked at it and laughed.
"We haven't done that since kindergarten," she said.
I pouted. "Please?"
"Fine," she said, reaching forward to link her pinky with mine. "I pinky promise."