Heyy, you crazy Klainers. I hope you like this!

Also, I know it sound like there's going to be smut, but theres not. Sorry, kids.

Summary: Blaine is 20. Kurt is 19. They had been going out for six months before Blaine decided it was time to introduce Kurt to his three-year-old daughter.

Disclaimer: Still sitting over here, not owning Glee...

Blaine Anderson was only sixteen when his friends hired him a stripper for his birthday.

In their defense, it had been a tough year for their friend. He had recently come out to his parents as bi sexual, and they were less than thrilled. All the stress of his home life had caused his grades to drop, which had only made his parents angrier. Blaine began spending most of his afternoons and evening in the music room, writing music like a madman.

All of the Warblers had done their best to comfort and support him, but for the most part, Blaine had pushed them away. Jeff and Nick, however, remained persistent, spending all the afternoons with him in the music room, whispering to each other, as Blaine banged away on the piano, creating masterpieces where there had once been nothing. They were there for him enough that he didn't feel so alone, but not so close that he felt suffocated by their presence, the way he had by the rest of the Warblers and their downright insistent need to cheer him up.

One evening, about a week before Blaine's sixteenth birthday, he had seemed particularly uptight and annoyed. Jeff and Nick had both noticed, but neither one of them commented on it, instead keeping up on their hushed background presence.

Blaine sat at the piano, pounding out note after note, trying to create something new.

"Only so many cadences…" They heard Blaine mumble to himself, before he got up to grab his guitar from where it leaned against the wall. By now Jeff and Nick were openly watching Blaine as he got more and more worked up for seemingly no reason. Blaine strummed the guitar and winced when he heard that it was out of tune. He methodically began to tune it. He'd been playing for so long that he no longer relied on a tuner to tell him when the note was right. It wasn't quite perfect pitch, but he was working on it.

Jeff and Nick sighed simultaneously. The simple and familiar task of tuning a guitar seemed to be calming Blaine down.

Until he got to the sixth string.

"Fuck!" Blaine said, as he turned the peg too hard, too fast, and the string broke. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. Just perfect."

Jeff and Nick watched in mute horror as Blaine checked the guitar across the room, until it hit the opposite wall with a low thud, before bouncing onto the ground. Next he grabbed all the sheets of music he had been working so tirelessly on for days, and began throwing those too. He was throwing everything in sight, and it was so overwhelming that neither Jeff nor Nick knew exactly when his rage had turned into grief. In fact, neither on had truly realized until Blaine sunk to the floor. He curled up into a ball around one of the sofa's pillows, and began to sob hysterically into it.

Nick and Jeff stood at the same time. Nick, to begin cleaning the room, and Jeff to go over and comfort Blaine.

Jeff gently tugged the pillow out of Blaine's grasp. Blaine looked up at him as he did, his face full of tears. "I'm sorry," Blaine said, in a small, broken voice, as if he were a small child. He looked over to where Nick was gathering up all the paper he had flung across the room just moments earlier. "I'm sorry," Blaine repeated.

"What's wrong, Blaine?" Jeff asked. "Is it the parents thing?"

"Oh, you mean the fact that my whole family completely hates me, just because I'm bi? Yeah, pretty much."

"I'm sure they don't hate you, dude. They just… don't know how to deal. Give it awhile, and it'll work itself out," Jeff advised.

Blaine pulled his phone out of his pocket, and fiddled with it for a moment before thrusting it at Jeff. A text message lay open on the screen.

Text from : Dad


Still disgusted. How dare you throw this onto your mother and I? I think it's best if you spend the rest of you weekends this school year at Dalton

Jeff looked up from the message and back at Blaine. "Oh."

"Yeah," Blaine said wearily.

Jeff looked across the room to see Nick watching him, questions in his eyes. Jeff shook his head slightly. He would explain later.

"It's my birthday this weekend," Blaine said hurtfully, not having noticed the wordless communication that had just happened between his friends.

"Yeah, we know," Nick piped up, trying to remain included.

"And I'll be at Dalton while everyone else goes home."

"Hey, we'll stay. I'm sure all of the Warblers will stay. Don't even worry about it, Blaine!" Jeff said, chipper and upbeat once more. He couldn't control Blaine's parents, but he could certainly control this weekend for him.

After Jeff and Nick managed to get Blaine to go downstairs for dinner, and then go back upstairs to bed, they sat in their shared room together. Jeff explained what the text message had said.

"Ouch," Nick winced. "So clearly we have to make this weekend amazing for him."

"Yes, yes we do. I vote we hire a stripper, rent a hotel room, sit back, and let all his dreams come true."

"Jeff!" Nick exclaimed, swatting his best friend's arm.

"Nick!" Jeff coped, grinning. "Seriously, man, what's the problem? As long as we can get enough money rallied up from all the Warblers, we should be able to pull it off."

"But… what If Blaine doesn't want a stripper?" Nick argued.

"Then he gets a hot chick that he gets to stare at all night. What's the problem?"


"So you're in?"

"Yeah, I'm in."

That Saturday evening, Blaine was loaded into David's car after dinner and cake, along with Wes, David, and Nick. Jeff was mysteriously absent.

"Guys, where are we going?" Blaine sighed. He appreciated the effort they were putting in to make his birthday special, he really did. But Blaine also knew that a surprise from the Warblers wasn't always a good thing. They tended to do things on a whim without thinking them through. Blaine vividly remembered how last year, for Wes's birthday, Jeff had surprised him with a trip to the butterfly sanctuary, to try and fix Wes's fear of insects.

It hadn't worked.

Blaine tried to think of what the Warblers would have thought would be brilliant for him, and drew a blank.

Meanwhile, Jeff was standing in front of a local motel, watching as a sleek black car parked, and out stepped a tall, tanned girl. Tall, because of her four and a half inch shiny black stilettos, Jeff noted. The rest of her outfit was covered by the black coat she wore, which trailed all the way down to her ankles. She approached him, grinning.

"You're Jeff?" she asked.

"Yep. You're the stripper?"

She laughed, her white teeth glowing in the light of the setting sun. "You know it. Where's the birthday boy?"

"On his way. Let's get you up to the room, so that he's really surprised."

"Um… guys?" Blaine asked.

"Yeah?" The three Warblers chorused back at him.

"Why are we at a motel?" Blaine asked uneasily. He had a really bad feeling about this.

"You'll see," Wes said, from his place in the passenger seat.

Nick, who was sitting beside Blaine, patted Blaine's knee comfortingly. "Don't worry."

"Worrying," Blaine replied.

David parked the car and all four boys got out; Blaine a little reluctantly.

When Jeff and the hired, er, entertainment got up to the room, she pulled off her coat and hung it up in the room's closet. Jeff's jaw dropped. She was wearing thigh high black fishnets, a lacy black bra, and matching panties.

And nothing else.

She turned and, seeing his expression, laughed. "Look, but don't touch, blondie. I'm only getting paid for one guy, so one guy is all I'm giving my services for."

"Um, uh, y- yeah," Jeff stuttered, blushing.

"What's birthday boy's name again?"


Speak of the devil, there was a knock at the door.

"That'll be him," Jeff said unnecessarily. He then slipped out of the door fast enough that Blaine wouldn't see what was waiting for him inside just yet.

And there Blaine stood, with Nick, Wes, and David all behind him.

"Happy Birthday, Blainers," Jeff said, before he pushed Blaine through the door, and shut it behind him.

A "Holy shit" was heard through the door, before the four Warblers high fived each other and headed back out to the car.