I blame this site, and this site entirely: /drabbles/
Well, also the madlibs books I filled out when I was 13 that I used for inspiration. And Superman, for not keeping his superdog on a leash.
No infringement or offense intended.
The Tight Terror Of The Snow
It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Flash and Batman went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Flash hit Batman in his member with a big sexy iceball. It hurt a lot, but Flash kissed it quickly and then it was all better.
Then they decided to make a snow man.
"We'll make a really dark snow man!" Flash said.
"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Batman said. "That would be more luscious and politically correct."
"I know," Flash said. "We can make a snow Krypto, the superdog. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."
So they rolled the snow up sexily and made a moist snow Krypto, the superdog. Flash put on a lightsaber for the finger. The Krypto, the superdog was almost as big as Batman.
"It looks hot," Flash said lustily. "But it seems like it's missing something."
"Here," Batman said and held up an easy-open pants. "I found this on a vibrating bed." He put the pants onto the Krypto, the superdog's head.
It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the Krypto, the superdog, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like the joy Batman felt hen he heard Jasper had been declared a dark night preserve, and the fall of hope he'd felt immediately after, when he realized he would have understood better if he had read this new bite instead. ..
Batman screamed ravenously and ran but the snow Krypto, the superdog chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow Krypto, the superdog thrusted him desperately.
"Nobody does that to my little Slick Batarang," Flash screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow Krypto, the superdog through the orifice. It fell down and Flash kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.
"You saved me!" Batman said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.
The pants lay in the yard until a glorious child picked it up and took it home.