The bitter wind rolls across the flowing meadow as I stand there alone. The sun, high in the dark sky, glows behind heavy clouds.
I have not seen the sunlight. Not since they took him.
It had been over a year now, since I've seen the sun. Its bright golden rays just a memory now concealed deep in my mind.
The two donations I have given since then seem to make no difference. Nor the time I have left till my third.
A week is all I have left. But it does not matter. Why not just do it today? I often times ask myself.
I have no one left. Everything that has ever mattered to me has been taken away; me, powerless to stop it. What else do I have to live for?
Some say I am crazy, as I stand out here staring into the horizon wishing for something better. But what else am I to do?
I do not belong here anymore.
I walk down the side barbed wire fence, my shoes crackling in the hard gravel.
What would I be without you?
There's no place for me without you
Never let me go
The soft bittersweet song echoes in my mind. I will never be able to let him go. I tell myself.
He is a part of me. And that will never change. I smile, thinking of the short yet wonderful times we had together.
His warm touch, his soft and gentle voice, his deep brown eyes that could make my heart flutter every time I looked at him, all so preciously engraved in my dying memory.
Something not far off in the distance caught my eye as I looked up. Two people were standing by the fence, laughing and embracing each other in a loving way.
I stopped, staring at them, amazed at how I had not seen them as I was walking down. The boy turned and looked at me.
The trees and clouds melted away as the time all around me slowed. I stared at him.
No. It can't be.
I felt tears rush to my misty eyes.
It was him. It was really him.
His hair was like it was before, long and brushed to the side, and his eyes had that warm familiar kindness glowing inside of them. I stepped toward him my heart burning with happiness.
The girl turned her vision toward me.
It was like looking directly in the mirror as I stared at the woman in front of me. Her golden brown eyes stared directly into mine, an eerie connection instantly made between us.
My mind fired as the realization of what was happening sunk in. I looked once more at Tommy.
His eyes the exact color of chocolate brown. I didn't want to leave. Not with him here.
The girl began to ask.
I turned and ran the opposite direction feeling tears instantly flood my eyes.
The other Tommy yelled from behind me his voice water to a wound.
I ran harder pushing my exhausted legs to run faster. I pressed my frozen hand over my mouth, holding back the choking sobs climbing up my throat.
Finally, I staggered up to my old car my breaths short and shallow. Sitting on the hard ground, I let the concealed sobs escape, tears flowing down my cheeks.
I huddled in a tight ball rocking slowly back and forth as I breathed into my frozen hands.
It wasn't him. But it was at the same time.
I didn't know what to think except for what I had just seen.
The one I had loved so much gone and just like that…standing there, right in front of me as if nothing ever changed.
As if he had never-
I breathed in deep, trying to calm my frazzled mind.
"Tommy…" I pleaded out to the sky.
The dark clouds whispered softly as they floated calmly through the air.
I squeezed my eyes shut wanting it to end, all of it. This place, my donations, the horrible sense of knowing that I'll never be able to see Tommy again I wanted it all gone, like so many lives they have freely taken.
I slowly opened my eyes.
Nothing had changed.