When I write, I am a perfectionist and pessimist. So whatever I write, I am not happy with it (because it is not perfect). It really is kind of depressing if you see it like that.

English is not my native language, it is German. (But who would want to read a story in German?) So there will be some (many) grammar errors and sentences which will sound probably quite painful. But I will try my best to write a reasonable story.

This story will play mostly in the Hp universe. Harry aka Undertaker will be powerful and intelligent, but he will not flaunt it (that would be OC). I have a rough sketch for the first few chapters, but I would also like to hear the ideas of other people. Maybe they can help me write a better story. So please review!

All Harry Potter characters belong to J.K. Rowling and all Kuroshitsuji characters belong to Toboso Yana or whoever, I do not own anything from Harry Potter and Kuroshitsuji. (What a pity!)

No money is being made in any way, shape, or form. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended. This is only for my enjoyment, and hopefully is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons, alive or dead, is strictly coincidence. Enjoy!

Chapter 00 - Prologue

Oh, Death

How utterly disgusting. They managed to catch him. Not only that, he was a master at silent escaping. He always managed to escape and most of the time even unscratched. It was something he had perfected over the years. But they came with heavily charmed weapons and binds and while he was laying on the cold floor, quite surprised at the hits he took. That he even took hits; they bound not only his powers but also his body with those chains. Except for his head, he couldn't move anything. He was still standing, yes, but he could already feel his body starting to go numb. He shouldn't have been so arrogant. Normally he wasn't so dimwitted and now in hindsight he could see that this all was a trap. But that was a bit late now. Those idiots finally managed to outsmart him. Him, who is always prepared, who is always one step ahead of everyone else. Well, he did have a 'Plan Omega' should everything else fail, but it was not like these idiots knew this.

Oh, Death

They were fighting for quite some time now. For humans it would be three to four times their normal lifespan, but for shinigamis, angels, demons and other immortal beings two hundred years were next to nothing. Being ageless was after all quite profitable. Of course they weren't always fighting, like in actual battles with Death Scythe against Death Scythe. No, they were playing some fun games like tag and his all-time favorite 'hide and seek'. Often even he himself wasn't sure who was the hunter and who the hunted; it wasn't important as long as he was entertained enough. Being the pitiful rabbit or not being the pitiful rabbit. That would be the question here.

Oh, Death

Frequently he would just bait them until they were too angry to think straight and then beat the living daylights out of them. The injuries they received were naturally not life threatening through, because it would be boring if he were to kill them all and lose his only source of entertainment now, since he couldn't continue to work in a public place anymore. Oh no, that would be inexcusable.

One of his favorite victims was the red-haired she-man or whatever he was to begin with. He enjoyed it each time he kicked him into his shitty face. He never bothered to learn his name… or the names of the other newbie-shinigamis. They really had not one ounce of respect for their elders, it is kind of sad. Really. Even after beating them again and again they just came back later. It reminded him of cockroaches. Even if you stomped onto them and thought they were dead; they would just stand up and run again. There were also rumors that cockroaches could live up to nine days without their head, before they slowly died of starvation. Too bad, this didn't work on shinigamis and humans; not that he didn't try it out in one of his many experiments. It was interesting. Even his 'Bizarre Dolls' needed their head to move.

Won't you spare me over till another year?

In fact he was living a quiet and rather peaceful life as an Undertaker, his cover job. Playing with dead at night and during the day always was fun and what should he otherwise do with all his free time? Making them pretty and laying them down to eternal rest. How wonderful! Letting their bodies rot down in the earth, well, most bodies that is. From thieves to butler to unimportant people to royal blood he really didn't mind. Everyone was welcomed into his humble abode and shop. And everyone must go sometime, some early, some later, some never, hehehe.

But what is this that I can't see

Since he liked to know everything possible, he was also working part-time as an informant. For a good laugh he would tell people all they wanted. Well, nothing about himself. Guess who would want to know something about this little unremarkable undertaker? Nobody. Many didn't even manage to make him snicker, incompetent idiots. They would try bribe, threaten, send assassins and hunters after him and do other stupid things. Too bad they were all too weak; he just cut them in half. And he would have more bodies to play with.

With ice cold hands taking hold of me

One time when he was feeling quite gracious, he sent their bloodied and mutilated bodies back to the one they belonged. It really was a pity the woman didn't come back to ask for information, he would have given it to her, because her face was one of the most hilarious things he seen since a long time. He nearly choked from laughing so hard. Ha, it is quite benefiting, being immortal.

When God is gone and the Devil takes hold

It all began on this lonely ship, the Campania, in the middle of the ocean with no way out (how beneficial), where he freed most of his beloved 'Bizarre Dolls', which were neither living nor dead. They were extraordinary! Their beautifully stitched skin as white as wax, just like when they were alive. Their mouths that could not clamor noisily or tell lies any longer. They truly were far more beautiful then when they were alive. But of course nobody would understand his sentiments or his feelings in that matter. They would just continue to cut all his hard work down without mercy. But why would he make such zombie-like monsters, they asked. Well, to be honest, it was just his curiosity towards humans… and he was a little bit bored. So he told them:

Who will have mercy on your soul?

"Humans are made up of 'a flesh body' and 'a soul'. If both of them are brought together, one can exist amongst the living and keep on documenting their life's memories in form of the 'cinematic record'. And when the flesh body withers, and the shinigami collect their souls, the record ends there and the living become the dead. It is a shinigami's job to take the soul from the body according to a list, causing an end to the kaleidoscope. But what if there was a continuation of the records?"

Oh, Death

That was the exciting part. Shinigamis are only interested in the souls after all. The rest of the human was unimportant; so the body and the brain which holds the memories are left behind. So after the end, he connected it with his own brand of cinematic record, and tada, the body mistakenly thought that life still went on and continued moving. So easy. Of course he couldn't have done this without his financial backers. They gave him enough money, enough bodies and enough space to store them. They are the perfect weapons for war. They felt neither pain nor hunger nor fatigue, they indiscriminately ripped the body of the living of men and women and children apart.

Many would just call them zombies, like in those books and movies. Openly rotting corpses, greenish skin, missing body parts or skin or muscles, ugly faces. How dare they compare his marvelous dolls to such hideous monsters?

Oh, Death

They were just his first prototype, nothing more than a second-rate experiment. His later dolls were able to transfer different kinds of fast-moving deadly diseases. And he thought that they would kill every living being on deck, but he was mistaken. Like always there was someone to baffle his extraordinary show. It made him so angry! Never before did he have so much fun, never had he felt more alive!

Oh, Death

Even little Ciel was there. He wanted to get him into one of his coffins since he first laid eyes on him, dead or alive. He would look amazing in adorned Victorian style clothes, skin deadly pale, eyes empty without his usual superior look and his stupid cheeky mouth shut. At this thought he began to drool. Since the beginning he knew the real identity of Ciel's oh-so loyal butler. So he became interested in the little Earl and his demonic lapdog. Maybe they could give him some sort of excitement and a few good laughs before he would lay them to eternal rest in one of his handmade coffins.

No wealth, no ruin, no silver, no gold

People were laying on the ship's floor, obvious dead, sprawled out in crude positions, walls and floor painted in red. It definitely is one of his favorite colors. Unfortunately the stupid butler and two third-rate shinigami were there too and killing all of his puppets. And if this was already bad enough, they tried to kill the Viscount of Druitt too! Unforgivable! This guy was so arrogant, self-centered and a complete goof-off, but he managed to put a smile on his face without even trying. That's why he saved this idiot from immediately death.

Nothing satisfies me but your soul

He even told them how shinigami worked and how he created his lovely 'bizarre dolls'.

Then those three ungrateful hooligans dared to attack him, but there are going to get a nasty surprise. After some fooling around, it got bit-by-bit more boring since they were also fighting against their 'supposed' allies. Didn't they know that the enemy of my enemy is usually my friend? Morons.

Oh, Death

Towards the end of the fight he also showed them his shinigami scythe he managed tokeep and shortly after cut glasses and flame-head down. He really was in a benevolent mood today. And Sebas-chan looked terrifying for a moment when he 'tried' the kill Ciel. To end the final act he smashed his scythe thought the butler's body. Memory records were filling the room. Oh, he always wanted to know how little Ciel got his demonic doggy. After viewing the records he wanted to make an extraordinary escape, but those cockroaches made one final attack. Of course, he wasn't hurt, but he lost the chain with all of his talismans. He got it back later some time, before Sebastian could work out what it could do.

Well I am Death, none can excel

Since his experiment was interrupted, he couldn't get the complete data, but it was enough for future better experiments. And that was what he did.

After leaving the sinking ship he dedicated his whole time to making better puppets. He even succeeded in creating his personal army. Well, his backers thought they were their army, but my, they looked absolutely hilarious when their own guards ripped them apart. Regrettably with each won battle, he became more arrogant and careless until that fated day.

I'll open the door to heaven or hell.

"Ha, you damn bastard, now that's what you get when you hurt a maiden's face, even if you're god damn hot and sexy and…", Grell's head smashed into the stone floor face first, courtesy of William, the head shinigami.

"We do not have time for your nonsense, Grell. And do you have another Death Scythe again? It is a chain saw, I know, but the last one was definitely another model." William said while smashing Grell's head repetitive into the hard stone floor with each ended sentence.

"Why did you just do that, Will? My beautiful face…" sobbed she-man while completely ignoring what William just said. I just couldn't stop laughing. It was hilarious like a bad comedy.

"Why you… In the name of the council of shinigami and every other being that adores me, you will be executed right here on the spot for harming my beautiful face and glorious body and…", head meet floor again.

"What this idiot is trying to say is that we will kill you right now", William said in his usual stoic voice while pushing his glasses up with his Death Scythe.

"What? Don't I get a trail or something like that?", he snickered putting the most innocent expression he could manage onto his face. Even wrapped in chains with blood dripping from his various wounds, he wouldn't… no, he couldn't let it end like this, to die at the hands of some unimportant third-rate shinigami. He had more pride and intelligence than that.

Oh, Death

"You have no right for anything! You bastard nearly destroyed the balance of the world between the gods and the humans with all your experiments! You don't even have the right for some last words!", screamed another unimportant low-rate Death God.

They had all sneaked up on him in a moment of weakness. He thought there were only a handful of them, just a little bit of fun. After easily defeating them, he began to gloat like always these past days, letting his guard down. They attacked him, stabbing him with multiple weapons, chaining him down like some wild animal, he reminisced.

Just now it hit him what glasses said. He needed just a bit more time and preferable a tiny distraction for them. Let's see if this works. "No last words? Isn't that a bit harsh? We are shinigami after all."

"Don't you dare put us in the same category with you, scum! You…"

Before he could finish his insult, they heard some words quietly spoken in an ancient tongue. Then there was a flash of light and the body of the Undertaker fell lifeless to the ground. All shinigami starred down at the still form, ready to attack if necessary. Grell was the first one to approach it and poke it with a wooden stick he just found.

"Will, what happened? Is he dead? Not like shinigami dead, like dead dead?"

William stared down at Undertaker's body, lifting his right foot slowly and smashing it down onto the dead shinigami's head. A loud crack was heard, be it now from bones or the floor breaking was not important.

Oh, Death

"Seems like that, his soul is completely gone. But what was that light?"

"Will, let's go home. He is already dead and once a shinigami's soul leaves its vessel, it disintegrates. There's nothing left now, Will. Will-chan. Willy!", head meets stone wall.

"I haven't heard what he muttered at the end and this flash of light was really unnerving. We should investigate this more carefully."

"E-excuse me, William sir. What if this was only a matter of pride, selfishness and arrogance? After all he was a really haughty and egotistical bastard. It would be probably shameful for him to die by the hands of his most hated enemies."

"This certainly seems possible. Take his body with you for further investigation. I will clean up this mess on the wall and then come back shortly to head quarters.", said William while dragging Grell by the very end of his hair across the floor before disappearing into the night.

My name is Death and the end is here...

In another world Undertaker was laughing.

AN: Well, that's it for the beginning. The song is called 'Oh Death' by Jen Titus. Some parts of the prologue are from the last few chapters of the manga. For later chapters I will need another name for Harry aka Undertaker to stay hidden (first/middle/last name if possible). I have some ideas, but most of them don't quite convince me. And there is also the question if Dumbledore should be good manipulative or bad manipulative. If you review and answer the question please also state why so that I can understand it too. Thanks!