I know you guys have been chomping at the bit for this new chapter and I can't say I blame you! So I really hope you guys enjoy this new chappy. Naruto's PV
You don't get burned
(Cause nothing gets through)
It makes it easier
(Easier on you)
But that much more difficult for me
To make you see…
Love ain't fair
So there you are
Heart's a Mess, Gotye
You know that awkward moment when your love interest, housemate, apple of your eye utterly betrays you and spits on the very fabric of your soul? You don't? There's probably a reason for that. Or perhaps you don't live with the most heinous bastard that's ever existed in the known universe.
Sasuke was straddled across my waste, trying to kiss me on the lips. After that bombshell, let's just delicately say I'm not in the mood for a little bump and grind. I shoved him out of my lap and stood up just so he couldn't resume his position. He glared down at me as he got to his feet. Ah, I miscalculated the height. How could I forget that Sasuke is a small giant?
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Sasuke sounded very annoyed and I was so close to knocking his teeth out it was insane.
"What's wrong with me?" I was exasperated at his question. "Oh I fucking wonder what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe it's because you just falsified a rape kit with my DNA, which in the wrong hands, could put me away for a few good years. And then after such a bombshell was deployed, you want me to fuck you? No, no Sasuke I'm not." I had to turn away from him. I couldn't let him see how I was really feeling. I couldn't let him know that on the inside I was choking up and getting really, just…I don't even know. I was messed up.
Overreacting? He thinks I'm overreacting to this? WHAT?! HOW?!WHO!? WHY?! Did Sasuke fucking go crazy at some point and then no one told me? Is this a prank? Where are the cameras because this is not funny! Let me off this crazy ride, I'm not having fun anymore.
"Did you fucking get abducted by aliens or something?! Did they take out your brain? Who wouldn't react like this to their housemate telling them they have a rape kit that they made!? I'm reacting like any normal person would to this situation!"
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Naruto, I think we're a little beyond the point of being just housemates."
Is he ignoring what I'm saying? 'Cause it seems like he's selectively just picking out whatever he wants to hear from what I'm saying and then twisting it into something that he can use to change the subject. Well fine, two can play this game. "Well if I really meant more to you than that, you should know that you can trust me, you fucking bastard."
"Naruto, calm down. I do trust you."
"No, no, you fucking don't because if you did you wouldn't have made the damn kit Sasuke!"
Sasuke smirked as he wrapped his arm around my waist. "I do trust you. You're too much of a Dobe to be nothing but genuine." He kissed me hard on the mouth then and I forced myself to pull back by pushing into his chest. He wasn't too pleased with that. His eyes shone with such anger for a brief second that I didn't even know how to label such fury. "Naruto, you should know by now that I do trust you. You may be an idiot but you have your charm and with that charm come hooks. And your hooks have sunk into me. I am yours to do with whatever you wish."
Okay, now I'm starting to get confused. And I don't think it's because I'm stupid like Sasuke says I am. There's something happening in this moment that's probably going to belong to this moment. Is Sasuke trying to tell me that all this time, I wasn't the only one with feelings? That perhaps, his feelings for me were established before I had figured mine out? I know Sasuke isn't stupid and he's emotionally constipated, but he can't actually think that this is a logical means of keeping me and my attention…
"That being said." Oh, here we go. "I don't trust the people around you. Naruto, you're easily influenced by people whether or not you notice it. Orochimaru would crack your head open like a nut for all the juicy bits you have inside. And with this little bit of insurance, you'll always stay true to me, the one who holds your heart, the man who captures your attention…" My eyes widened. I know Sasuke isn't stupid. I know he isn't but how could he notice my ritualistic stalking when I was being so subtle?! Probably because I'm as subtle as an elephant. "What? Surprised I noticed? Naruto, you're about as subtle as an elephant." Ah, I see that I'm not the only one who noticed. "But no matter, our interest in each other is mutual. We have feelings, Dobe, and they aren't something that we can wish away. And to make sure you always keep the correct ones for me, I need to make sure no one can influence your opinion of me."
It's like he's not even factoring in how what is happening between just the two of us will affect my opinion of him! Because it's getting a little bad. I'm getting more and more pissed off and scared by Sasuke's logic. I mean, how could I be such a genuine person, or so he says, if I'm easily influenced by the people around me? That would make me like a fake or something because I can't decide things on my own. Or maybe I'm not sure what he means in the first place because I literally just cannot follow his flow of logic. 'Oh yeah let's keep a rape kit in case Naruto gets cheeky. Sounds good.' Sasuke logic…
"Naruto, are you listening to me?"
"If you mean the listening in which I can hear you, then yes, but if you mean the listening by which I can understand what you're saying, then no."
"I swear you are the biggest Dobe in the known universe."
"Fucking rude ass Teme!"
"Just shut up and let's make love." Sasuke approached me and the only thing I could do was get a little nauseous and shove him back.
And in that moment, I learned why people said the Uchihas were the scariest family to have ever lived. Holy shit. Sasuke just glared at me, just a little glare, and I felt my blood turn to ice. He was so mad, it was crazy. I guess them remaining stoic for so long makes their actual expression even more terrifying.
"Alright, fine. I get it. I get it. I'll give you some time, but do know Naruto I GET what I WANT. And if I so desire you, you will come crawling." He quickly embraced me, and I could feel the hotness of his breath against my neck. I wondered if he had been contemplating biting me as a sign of ownership and then just let me go. The door shut behind him softly.
I sank to my knees and just looked at the door for a moment before I realized just how physically sick I actually was. I made it to the bathroom with seconds to spare and emptied my stomach. Tears were burning in my eyes as I openly whined into the porcelain. How could I have been so stupid to think that Sasuke's true nature would have never surfaced? How could I not think Sasuke would never hurt me? I deluded myself into thinking things between Sasuke and I, even at a sexual level, would remain relatively normal. But how wrong I was.
Under the mask of the good son, everyone wants a piece of you. The myriad of subtleties goes unnoticed as the performance is in full swing. When you wear that mask, you are perfection incarnate and as a million hands reach out to 'embrace' what they really want is to destroy. The mask cracks and shatters. And what lies beneath has to rebuild that mask and make sure this time that it cannot be shattered, things have to be in favor of saving the mask. So Sasuke…
Now it seems so obvious. I'm a celebrity too and yet I've never thought about what that really meant until today. I've never kept up that meaningless façade, I've never crafted a shatter-proof mask. So I'm vulnerable to the people around me…Especially the ones I care about.
The next few days were really awkward. And I don't mean the awkward that happens when your parents find out you had sex and they just look at you like, 'so uhh, hey, how's the sex goin'?' It's more like the awkward where you show up to Christmas drunk off your ass, make your mother cry, knock over the tree, destroy all the presents, start a huge food fight, and then tell your kid sibling Santa isn't real. That kind of awkward. Because you know there's someone mad at you for something you caused, and in my case, the Christmas tree was Sasuke. Since I had rebuked his advances, he'd been glaring me down and trying to take advantage of me whenever he can. I actually had to start locking my door at night so he wouldn't forcefully ride my dick.
I mean, I don't know what I expected out of all this. I'm slowly starting to understand why Sasuke is so mad…Actually, fuck that, I'm lying, and I don't get it at all. Sasuke's fucking crazy and this is all really stupid and I shouldn't be scared in my own house but I am.
The only sanctuary seemed to be school, but uh, that didn't last too long. Every class I had with Sasuke, he'd sit right next to me and try to fondle me under the desk where no one was looking. And I don't know how it is possible, but Sasuke has the most persuasive hands I've ever felt. It really wasn't fair.
But I think Sasuke took the cake of 'getting what he wanted'.
So it was literature period with good ol' Kakashi, who would be late to his own funeral if he could, and Sasuke's hand was seated ever so subtly on top of thigh. The weird part was as Sasuke was gently rubbing his hand up and down, he was just focused on a conversation with Sakura, and usually he eye fucks me while he molests me. And that really bothered me, he wasn't as aggressive as he usually was and I shivered thinking about Sasuke putting his hands all over me, feeling me fully, fucking me…
That's when I knew I had to blow that pop stand and I stood as fast as I could, knocking my chair out from under me. I was so hard and I knew Sasuke knew it. I could see the satisfaction and lust in his eyes. Sai and Sakura both looked concerned but I just laughed it off and said I forgot something in my locker. They knew my locker was clear across campus and I knew that would by me some time to get rid of my problem.
I never catch a break, I swear. Sasuke, the cheeky sex god he is, managed to slip out of class as well. He must have stalked me silently in the halls for at least a good minute before making his catch. He grabbed me right before I made it to the men's room and I let out a cry of defeat because I knew that grip all too well. He was flush against my back, breathing hotly into my ear, I could feel his arousal brushing against my ass and he nuzzled me possessively. I couldn't help it, I moaned, especially when those naughty and nimble fingers seemed to drum their way down the front of my pants.
"Sasuke, please." I wanted him to stop. We were exposed; someone could easily walk by and catch us in the act. And the last thing we needed was indecent exposure on our records…which probably would have been followed by us getting expelled. I tried to pull free but he bit my neck in such a possessive, sexy way that I lost all the strength to fight.
"Shh, I want to have some fun." Sasuke words burned against my skin as the hot whispers of his breath caressed my neck. He used his height and weight to force me down on my knees, his larger body looming behind me as his free hand gripped onto my struggling wrists. He continued to mark and kiss my neck while ever-so-gently stroking me. Sasuke hand was barely moving in my jeans but the sheer pleasure of the moment was messing with my head. I was foggy. I barely registered he was kissing me on the mouth until the moment before he pulled away, leaving me breathy and in wanting. "Do you want me?"
His question, I don't know, I guess I wasn't ready for it so in my haze, I hesitated the answer as I looked at his slightly glassy, lust-soaked eyes. "Yes..."
He seemed satisfied with the admittance of defeat from me and let me up from our crouched position. I heard something faint in the distance but I think imagined it because Sasuke didn't seem to notice it at all and he was more sensitive to everything around him. He didn't stop tugging me out of the front of the school and to his car so I guess everything was just my paranoid mind playing tricks.
I fucked Sasuke in the back of his car, which surprised me because he seemed to be pissy about the time I ate a donut in there. But I guess the need for touch outweighed his need to be clean and annoying. But then again it really was his fault that we ended up in his car, him bouncing on my lap. God it was good too, I didn't know how badly my body was being repressed until I came.
And now as I look back at that moment, I realized that Sasuke is slowly poisoning me. I need to get away from him. I mean he's blackmailing me and I'm still indulging him with my flesh. Okay, yes, this is somewhat my fault for not stopping him or rejecting him again, but I couldn't help it! You have Uchiha Sasuke bounce on your dick and tell me how easy it is to say 'no'!
We managed to slip back into class before Kakashi got back too, which I was really surprised about because we were gone at least half an hour. And what was even worse was that I wasn't even satisfied with just that. I wanted more. I hadn't indulged myself in Sasuke's flesh for a few days and with the constant temptation around, it was difficult to ignore.
And what's even worse is that I already know I'm setting myself up for failure by, okay I know this is hard for me to admit, but in all reality I'm passively doing nothing about Sasuke. But, it's not my fault; it's just that no one gave me the tools to deal with this! I really don't know what else to do with what I'm given. I don't know how to strategize with the cards Sasuke's holding. It's like he has the makings of a full house when I just have mismatching cards, on-suit. I just have to wait for what the river could give me or fold. But folding in this case means giving into Sasuke fully and letting him take from me whatever he wants. And as great as that sounds, Sasuke won't learn anything from that victory. He needs to know that scaring people into staying with him is not how love works, neither is it how he's going to keep me once the evidence is gone and the trial is over.
"Hey dick-less, what are you doing after school?"
I turned towards Sai and he was giving me that shit-eating grin that he gives to everyone. Though, sometimes, I felt like Sai didn't know what to do in most social situations so he just picked something and went with it as long as it worked. He was home-schooled up until freshman year of high school because his parent's home-business took off and became a national corporation.
"I was planning on pretending to do homework and then take a nap until food happened and then take a break and go back to sleep." I didn't need to bullshit Sai; he knew I was the king of slacking off and not doing anything if I didn't want to. And even though he had the social ability of a rock, we still sometimes had fun slacking off together.
"Wanna come over and finish that project for anatomy tonight? I know we'll never finish it if you don't."
There was something odd about this. Usually Sai doesn't 'ask' me to come over, for any reason. Usually it begins with we are partnered together and or we decide to be partners and he forces me over to his house so I'll actually do work on the project. Which, to be fair, saves my ass more than I like to admit, but so not my style. Just like him asking is SO not his style, he's an ass. And I know I've made a lot of mental notes about how much I hate Sai, but sometimes, he's a pretty funny guy. Plus, Sai slings his money like it's nothing so he and I can buy up the best time possible. Though this sudden change in attitude could be because, ever since Sasuke and I fucked in his car yesterday, Sasuke has been stuck to me like glue. Or maybe Sai is trying to gauge how friendly Sasuke and I have become so he knows where the new boundaries have been drawn for him, since well, Sai and I don't really get along in public. Not to mention, he and Sasuke don't get along very well. At all. Which is still the understatement of the year. I'm somewhat surprised he still sits with us during literature…Or that Kakashi allows them to sit together. I don't know it's weird.
"Sure." I felt Sasuke's hand tense up on my thigh and he pulled back as I gave him a slightly sideways glance. He pretended like he was paying attention and that whatever Kakashi was writing on the board was interesting.
"Great, since wicked lovely over there has been giving you a ride every day, just meet me at my car and I'll get us there." Sai said as he cracked open his book. Oh if only Sai knew how right he was about that wicked lovely statement.
Sakura was leaning in towards Sasuke and he instantly relaxed his hand and put it right back in my lap like I hadn't just pissed him off. Oh what, did he want Sakura to see this so she'd freak out and embarrass me? Or did he just not care about Sai and me hanging out? I don't know. Sasuke, right now, is a very confusing nut to crack. His shell just seems to regenerate as soon as I make any progress in chipping it.
And I already know that just because he showed me that kit and said he trusted me that nothing was really going to change between us. He just wanted to scare me into submission so I'd be far more compliant with his sexual demands or just so I'd sit back and enjoy this crazy ride.
"So where did you two go? I know it doesn't take that long to get to Naruto's locker." I looked over at Sasuke, confused and Sakura then gained a confused look on her face.
Sasuke's face remained calm. "I never said anything about helping the idiot to his locker. I simply decided to get a cup of coffee while Kakashi decided to take most of the period to be late."
"Yeah, I didn't know Sasuke left until I got back." I said. My voice sounded surprisingly calm but Sakura looked at my face, her eyes squinting at me as she got closer. Sai was shaking his head and I felt a flush creep up my cheeks.
"Oh, so I can't get a secret donut without everyone making a big deal?!"
Kakashi, eagle eye of the school, nailed me in the head with a piece of chalk, causing me to whip around. He was shaking his finger at me. "Yes, it is a big deal." Oh no, Kakashi please don't expel me or hit me or whatever it is you do. "I mean, you didn't get ME a donut."
I stared at him for a whole minute without saying anything, Sasuke chuckling beside me. "Kakashi, there was a high chance of seeing you at the coffee shop, don't play with me."
Sasuke's thumb pressed against the incredibly sensitive skin next to my balls and I had to hold back my breath from hitching.
Oh boy was I in trouble…
So me going to Sai's and working on a project went how you would expect it to go. I didn't do anything but whine about everything Sai was doing and he kept calling my dick small. Typical Sai-Naruto interaction.
He was chuckling to himself after a particularly manliness-shattering small dick joke and sat down at his desk, clutching a pencil in his hand. He swiveled to look at me, that stupid plastic smile present and everything.
"So, Naruto, how are things going with Sasuke?"
I shrugged. Not like I can tell Sai that Sasuke was black-mailing me into riding my dick whenever it suited him. I mean I have to keep a profession level to this friendship. "Fine, I guess. It's kinda like living with a cat. Sometimes he's nice, other times he's trying to claw off my face."
"You know you're welcome to come over whenever you want. I know you and Sasuke don't have the best track record, and a woman of your caliber shouldn't be around such violence."
"I'll keep that in mind if I want my dick size constantly criticized." I said as I stood up, stretching. I could feel his eyes on me as my shirt rode up ever so much. I felt oddly self-conscious as I turned to look at him. His face had changed, more pensive and frustrated than what was usually there. "Besides, Sasuke and I haven't physically fought; he is my guest after all. My dad would probably kick him out and that doesn't look good for anyone."
I heard a snap(1) behind me and turned just in time to see Sai throw down the pencil he had been holding. Before I could even say anything, or do anything, I was encased in Sai's arms. It felt weird to be held by him. I had just gotten used to Sasuke's large body holding onto me. But this feeling, the feel of Sai's chest pressing into mine, it was foreign. I pushed back and tried to laugh it off but he grabbed onto my wrist, holding me firmly in place.
"You're so stubborn." Sai said, his brow furrowed as he tried to embrace me again and I shook out of his hold, feeling eerily emasculated by this situation. I backed into his bedroom door and fumbled with the knob, only to be captured by his large body pressing into mine. "You can't escape me. We still have an anatomy project to do…"
I felt his lips atop my own and I shook at the feeling. Sasuke's lips felt so much different, they were soft and plush. Sure Sai's mouth was soft, but I don't know, there was something different about the feeling…It wasn't as sweet, it wasn't as succulent. I didn't want his mouth. I wanted Sasuke's…I pushed him back and all that succeeded in doing was trapping my arm between him and me. He was stronger than I remembered. He grabbed my other wrist and pinned it above my head.
"Dude, what are you doing?!" The only half-intelligent thing I could utter. He smiled down at me and this wasn't his regular smile, it was something sinister, lust coated.
"I've been holding back for a while. I waited for you to mature to a level where I knew you could handle my feelings for you. But I fear I may be too late." Sai's mouth hovered just above my pulse and I could feel his hot breath against my skin. He licked my neck and bit me none too gently, making me whine with the sudden pain and shockingly enough, pleasure. Against my will, I arched softly into his chest. He smirked at me and recaptured my lips. I felt the fight in me dying as he pried my mouth open with his tongue.
Sasuke had sexually frustrated me to the point where my body was hungry enough to take Sai in his place. Damn it body, stop reacting! Sasuke is going to kill me four times worse than he was going to if this goes any further.
Sai parted my legs with his knee, brushing the growing bulge in my pants in the process. My breath shook against his lips and he started to flick his tongue inside my mouth, coaxing me. I was getting really turned on by this. Sai's forcefulness reminded me of Sasuke. But there were subtleties between the two of them that kept me hanging on to reality. My brain knew, but my body didn't, all it knew was that it was hungry for satisfaction one of them could give me, Sai just happened to be the closest.
He gripped my thigh, pulling my leg out. It was instinct, I couldn't help myself, I wrapped my around his waist, grinding into him. He moaned into my moan, giving me enough time to pull my head back. I moaned despite the anxiety rising in my chest. I knew this was wrong, the wrong person, the wrong place, but my body felt like it was starving for attention, craving to be held and touched like it would be by Sasuke. Sasuke stirred me up and now I'm paying the price.
Sai's breath got more ragged as he started to grind into me. I could feel his erection through our jeans and I shivered against him. I was losing myself so slowly to this but it needed to stop. I needed to stop myself.
I let out a soft whimper of surprise when he let go of my pinned wrist to start wrestling with the top button of my jeans. Now, now was my chance to end this! I shoved Sai as hard as I could, which caused him to stumble backwards. My face was hot with embarrassment and arousal. He seemed to straighten himself out and huffed, looking at me with such a hurt expression.
"So, the Uchiha has tasted you fully, hasn't he?" Sai smiled sadly and my eyes widen. "Come on, I'll take you home."
"Doesn't matter." He couldn't even look away from me when the tears filled his eyes. "You love him, don't you? Don't worry I won't tell anyone." Sai's smile was scaring me. It was so sincere. "I know how important love is to a woman."
At first I had been angry that Sai was forcing himself on me, and then I was scared because I was giving in, but now, I feel like someone's stomped on my heart. I, Uzumaki Naruto, am a heartbreaker…
When I walked in my door, I half expected Sasuke to be waiting in the kitchen with the whole BDMS get-up. But he wasn't there and I was half-relieved. I knew Sasuke was angry with me for going to Sai's place but he didn't know what happened there, and as far as I was concerned, he never would. I walked through the kitchen, seeing a box of pizza on the stove and a hand-scrawled note from my old man. Not now dad, my head is a storm of emotions and I don't need you adding into the mix.
I went to my room and as soon as I opened the door, I wanted to shut it. Sasuke was sitting on my bed, flipping through one of his books. So, I guess I was half-right about something. He had been waiting for me to come back. I just didn't get the right location or situation. He looked up at me and closed his book.
Well, as long as I feel guilty, might as well be cooperative. I sat down on the bed next to him and he turned my head so I was looking him in the eye. I looked deeply into them and I noticed for the first time that the darkness didn't abruptly stop, that there was a soft gray ring around his iris that bled into the white. I cupped his cheek and he leaned into my hand. "Sasuke…"
He shushed me. "I already know."
"Why didn't you stop me? Or warn me maybe?" Sasuke stroked the more than apparent bite mark on my neck; it still throbbed painfully when he drummed his fingers against it. Possessiveness flared in his eyes.
"You needed to see how you affect the people around you and how you're utterly oblivious to the things that are flaunting themselves in your face." His expression was softer than I thought possible. It was strange. Sasuke didn't seem sympathetic to people he didn't like but it was like he was giving it just to Sai…
"How did you know that Sai had feelings for me?"
"It was in his eyes." Sasuke muttered. He pulled me in for a kiss and that's when I melted. That was the kiss I had been looking for; the soft kiss that was tinged with sweetness, the tongue that was strong and always managed to whip my body into a frenzy. I was hard with just a single kiss and Sasuke rubbed me through my jeans. I knew we were moving into that dangerous zone of where eroticism met passive danger, but I couldn't help how he made my body change.
As I stripped Sasuke down, I realized something. Sasuke knew what the look of longing appeared to be, which means he must have seen it before, and a lot, if he could identify it in other people. But the question to me, remained unclear…Who did he see in longing? Was it me? His lost puppy? Or, perhaps, did he finally see it in himself?
I guess when the blinders of sex are on; I'll never be able to see any of the truth that lies beneath the mask… Just like Sasuke wants. There won't be the nagging questions, the doubt. Because it's obvious Sasuke wants me to trust him, but how can I? How can I trust someone who hides and threatens, and controls when things get tough? Hasn't he heard that when things get tough, the tough get going? But, I suppose, that's not what Sasuke wants. He wants to be in the plane of existence where everything falls perfectly in place and everyone dances in rhythm with the decisions Sasuke is making for us...
I'm drowning inside of his will; his love. I want his love more than anything but giving into him means giving up everything I've ever stood for. I'm not some puppet to be manipulated. I don't wear the mask anymore...But for Sasuke...Will I be willing to? Would I be willing to give up Sasuke completely to keep my sense of self intact?
I don't know.
So we're finally progressing a little bit and in the next few chapters, we're going to see what's going to happen when the trial finally starts to pick up and how the choices Naruto's made so far are going to settle. Will they end in his favor? Or will they come back to slap in the balls?
1. Okay so originally right there I accidentally wrote 'snack' instead of 'snap' and when I proof-read the draft, all I saw in my head was Naruto turning around to Sai shaking a bag of pretzels and I couldn't stop laughing.
Naruto: What bad decisions have I made?
Me: Ones that are so subtle and strange that no one will actually know what they are until I throw them out in the next couple chapters.
Naruto: I don't like the sound of that.
Me: Oh you're gunna get MAAAADDDD.
Naruto: Great…This was Hitoko-sama…