Author's Note: For the record, I'm a cat person. I mean, dogs are cute and all, but I dunno, I've just always had a cat ever since I was born, so I just like them more.
Anyway, Sam and Freddie are a bit older in this fic (I'm thinking around 24), and the reason for that is because they had to be living together in order for the story to work. I really hope you guys like it! It was quite fun to write, I must say. Haha. ;D
Disclaimer: iCarly © Dan Schneider
Sam liked cats.
Freddie liked dogs.
It was one of the many difference between them that they each knew about one another long before they even started going out. It never really seemed like an issue, though, because after all, there were already so many differences between Sam and Freddie, so what did it really matter if they had just one more thing to clash on?
Well, apparently, it did matter, because now, years later, here they were, in a cramped little pet store that had an overwhelming smell of animal dander and…other animal-related smells.
"Awww, look how cute he is!" Sam gushed, rather uncharacteristically, as she cradled a small black kitten with white paws to her chest. The kitten looked up at her with its big green eyes, and she practically melted right then and there. She stroked the back of the kitten's ear with her finger, listening as it meowed softly and began to purr. Officially smitten, Sam looked up at her boyfriend and announced: "I want him."
And Freddie immediately let out a tired-sounding sigh, letting his shoulders drop.
"Sam," he started, but Sam was already looking back down at the kitten, rocking it in her arms, as though she were holding an infant. "I was afraid you were going to say that. Honestly, Sam, we've already been over this a hundred times. I don't like cats, remember?"
"Oh, suck it up, Benson," Sam snapped, sounding much more like her rude and vicious self, but a smile graced her face as she watched the kitten, which was beginning to close its eyes, being lulled to sleep. "This little guy's adorable."
"Yes, he's cute," Freddie hastily agreed, "but do you even realize how much responsibility comes with taking care of a cat?"
"Um, obviously I do, Freddie," Sam said, clearly sounding somewhat offended. "I had Frothy for thirteen years, remember?"
"You mean that evil gray cat that used to viciously attack my legs literally every single time I'd step into your house?" Freddie asked, recalling the pain that the cat had inflicted on him over the years.
"Yeah," Sam said, a nostalgic look spreading across her face. "I trained him well."
"You can't train cats to do that kind of stuff!" Freddie protested, but then he paused and scrunched his eyebrows together in a look of subtle confusion. "Wait…can you?"
"Well, tell you what, why don't we just buy this one," Sam suggested, looking back down at the kitten in her arms, "and then in a few months when he gets bigger, you can see for yourself."
Freddie slowly crossed his arms over his chest.
"Sam," he started in his warning tone, but Sam ignored him as she continued petting the little kitten. "Sam, I'm serious. How are you going to take care of a cat and clean up after it and stuff, when you can barely clean up after yourself?"
Sam's head snapped back up at that.
"Hey," she said sharply. "I've cleaned up after myself plenty of times, all right? I'm totally keen when it comes to cleanliness."
"Oh, please," Freddie practically laughed. "Keen on cleanliness? Coming from the girl who, just this morning, left a half-eaten ham sandwich in our bed that I had to clean up?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Sam said, holding up one hand, still securely holding the kitten with the other. "I've never left a ham sandwich go half-eaten in my entire life. If anything, it must've been a turkey sandwich or something."
"Well, whatever," Freddie said dismissively. "It's still not polite to leave old food in our bed. We sleep there, for God's sake!"
"Oh, please," Sam said, mimicking him from earlier. "We do anything but sleep in that bed. Remember that night we took—"
"Shhh-shhhh-shhhhhh!" Freddie hushed in an extremely harsh whisper. "Sam! Don't talk about stuff like that when we're out in public!"
"Oh, come on, what kind of fun is it if we can't blatantly talk about our sex life in front of total strangers?" Sam asked, a smile tracing across her lips, letting Freddie know that she was only kidding, though he wasn't exactly amused by her little joke.
"Sam," he started again. He was honestly getting tired of arguing with her, though, which was why he decided to finally cut to the chase. "Do you even have enough money to buy that kitten? And not only to buy it, but all the supplies you'll need to take care of it?"
The faint smile began to slip off of Sam's face then.
"Well…no," she admitted. "But only 'cause I assumed you'd be taking care of all that stuff." As soon as she finished saying that, a coy smile suddenly spread over her face, as though something had just clicked in her head. She reached up and began to carefully stroke her finger beneath Freddie's chin, running it along his cheek and back down again. "Please, baby?"
Freddie shivered from Sam's touch, briefly closing his eyes, but the moment he did, he reminded himself that he had to stay strong and not fall for this little trick of hers…again.
"Ohhhh-kay," he squeaked out with a goofy smile on his face, completely distracted by the light tickling sensation that Sam was providing him with. As soon as he said it, though, he immediately snapped out of the blissful trance he was in and kicked himself for what he'd just said. "Wait, I meant—no, no! Sam! You tricked me!"
Sam's coy grin widened into a devious, yet somehow seductive smirk as she finally withdrew her hand from his chin and brought it back to her own body to once again cup the head of the sleeping kitten in her arms.
"Not my fault you're so ridiculously easy to manipulate," she said, clearly proud of herself. She held her hand out again and wiggled her fingers in front of him. "Like putty in Mama's fingers."
Ignoring the obvious blow to his ego, Freddie let out another exasperated sigh.
"Sam, look, the bottom line is that I just don't want a cat, or any pet for that matter," he said, but then another thought struck him. "Unless it's a dog."
Sam furrowed her eyebrows as she brought her hand back to the kitten's head, gently stroking it with her thumb.
"I thought you were allergic to dogs," she said quizzically. "Isn't that why your mom never let you have one when you were younger?"
"No," Freddie said, adamantly shaking his head. "She never let me have one because she thought a dog would drool everywhere and give me a rash—which, by the way, it wouldn't! Contrary to what others may think, I am not allergic to doggy saliva!"
Sam tightly sucked in her lips, trying to suppress a smile.
"Yeah, well, sorry, baby," she said in a lighthearted tone. "I don't like dogs. They're too much work."
"Oh, and a cat isn't?" Freddie retorted, thrusting his hand towards the kitten in her arms.
"Not really," Sam said with a shrug. "I mean, for one thing, cats clean themselves. Dogs always get all gross and dirty and need baths all the time."
"Yeah, well, cats still have nasty litter boxes that always need to be cleaned out!" Freddie pointed out.
"Plus," Sam went on, as though he hadn't even interrupted her, "cats sleep most of the time, so it's not like you gotta look after them twenty-four seven. Dogs, on the other hand, always need constant attention."
"But dogs are waaay friendlier and nicer than cats!" Freddie argued. "I mean, really, I already have you to take care of. I don't need another vicious animal in my life!"
Sam gave him a deadly serious look then, letting him know that she didn't exactly appreciate that comment.
"Oh, you know what I mean," Freddie said, flicking his hand.
She lowered her eyebrows, glowering at him, but her look softened as she looked down at the kitten again, which was beginning to stir in its sleep. Sam let out a disappointed sigh.
"Fine," she mumbled as she reluctantly turned around to place the kitten back in its cage with all the other kittens. She closed the door and turned back to Freddie, looking less than enthused. "But you're buying me a steak to make it up to me."
"Fair enough," Freddie said, slinking an arm around her waist and kissing her on the cheek before she could pull away.
And despite the fact that Sam was currently peeved with him at the moment, she still found herself unable to hide the smile that unintentionally broke out across her face.
Spencer Shay closed one of his eyes as he steadily held up his hands, making the shape of a box with them. He stared at his latest sculpture through his one opened eye. The piece was just about finished, but there was still something missing…
"Ooh," he said softly as he dropped his arms and snapped his fingers with his right hand. He walked behind the sculpture and picked up the chord that was on the floor, stretching it over to the outlet on the wall. When he plugged it in, his sculpture lit up with hundreds of fluorescent bulbs. "Yeah!"
He walked back around and stood there for a while, admiring his work, until a sudden knock on the door interrupted his proud moment of glory.
"Comin'!" he called as he headed for the door. He opened it to find a disheveled and out-of-breath Sam. "Hey, Sam, what's—"
"No time!" Sam yelled as she pushed right past Spencer, completely knocking him over to the side, though she didn't even seem to care as she hastily made her way to the couch.
"Whoa, wait, what?" Spencer asked, disorientated. He took a moment to regain his balance before he turned to watch as Sam collapsed onto his couch, hunching over it, as though she were holding…something… "Uhhhhh…is that a…"
"Good kitty," Sam mumbled in a sweet-sounding voice. "Good boy."
Spencer's eyes widened as he felt his stomach drop in sudden fear.
"Wha…" he started, but trailed off as Sam stood up and moved out of the way to reveal, sure enough, a small, black…furry…evil-looking…
"Cah…" Spencer started, mouth agape as he emitted sounds that barely sounded like a normal human being. "That's a…cah…cahhhh…"
Sam slowly turned her head to glance at him, her eyebrows furrowing and an amused smile spreading over her face.
"Cat got your tongue there, Spence?" she asked jokingly.
"CAT!" Spencer shouted, as though he couldn't remember the word and she'd finally just reminded him. "A CAT! There's a…there's a cat sitting on my couch! Why, why, WHY is there a cat sitting on my couch?"
"Dude, calm down," Sam said, a light chuckle in her voice. She crouched down in front of the black kitten, which was stretching its tiny white paws over the couch cushions, making itself perfectly comfortable. Sam grinned widely as the cat rested its head on the couch. She reached out and gently stroked its head, its ear twitching slightly. "It's just a kitten."
"Ohhhh no," Spencer drawled, immediately backing away from the furry little beast. "No-no-no-no-no-no-NO!"
Sam finally turned her head to look at Spencer, who was now pressed up against the door.
"No, huh?" she asked, still clearly amused.
"Yes, no!" Spencer shouted. "Sam, why would you bring a cat here? You know I've always had a beef with cats ever since Harmu! Remember?"
"You mean that snooty cat that belonged to those fruity petographers?" Sam recalled, immediately scoffing afterward. "Please, that thing was as harmless as a flippin' stuffed animal."
"It sank its claws into my flesh!" Spencer yelled, putting his hands over his face.
"Well, whatever, you have nothing to worry about with this kitten," Sam assured him. "After all, he doesn't even have fully grown claws yet. He's just a baby."
"He's a beast!" Spencer screamed. "Look, I'm sorry, but can you please just get him out of here? He's making me feel all intimidated and sweaty!"
"Dude, he's not gonna hurt you. I promise," Sam said. "And anyway, I can't take him with me. I gotta leave him here for a few days."
"A few days? Here?" Spencer repeated incredulously. "Oh, no, no-no-no-n—"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, shut your face," Sam said as she quickly held up a hand to silence him. "C'mon, Spencer, just help me out. Please?"
"Why do you have to leave him here, though?" Spencer asked, still refusing to walk away from the door.
Sam let out a sigh. She turned back to the kitten, giving it one last pet on its head, before she reluctantly moved her hand away and got back up, turning towards Spencer.
"All right, look, here's the thing," she began. "Me and Freddie went to the pet store yesterday, and I wanted to get this kitten, but Freddie didn't want him, so I said, fine, whatever, so then today I went back there and bought him without Freddie knowing, so now I have to leave him here for a little while until I can figure out a way to convince Freddie to let me keep him."
Spencer's eyebrows tightly scrunched together as he took a moment to mull over everything she'd just said. As he did, he finally began to ease up against the door, until he finally took a step away from it and held out his hand, fingers spread.
"So…just to be clear…you want me to babysit this cat that you went and bought behind Freddie's back?"
Sam shrugged and began to nod her head.
"Yeah, pretty much," she said. "So will you do it? Just for a few days?"
Spencer glanced over at the cat, which was now sleeping soundly on his couch, its stomach slowly rising and falling as it breathed in and out.
"All right, fine, I'll do it!" he practically whined, and before he could even say anything else, Sam had already rushed right up to him and threw her arms around him in an overpowering hug, causing him to let out a grunt as the wind was completely knocked right out of his chest.
"Thanks, Spence, you're the best!" Sam said as she pulled away from him, an excited grin on her face. "I'll come back here first thing tomorrow to check up on him!"
With that, she opened the door and walked right out, leaving behind a deeply frazzled and confused Spencer, who immediately shouted, "Wait!" as he ran into the hallway, trying to catch up to Sam. "What if he tries to kill me! Or what if he gets hungry! Or…or what if he needs to go the bathroom! I DON'T HAVE THE PROPER FELINE ITEMS!"
Quickly realizing that Sam wasn't coming back anytime soon, Spencer collapsed to his knees, letting himself momentarily wallow in his own despair.
Later that day, after Freddie had gotten off work, he decided to swing by his mom's place before he headed home to pay her a quick obligated mother-son visit. He walked through the main doors of Bushwell Plaza and smiled when he saw the familiar lovable doorman himself.
"Hey, Lewbert," he greeted. "Long time no see."
"Nyahhhhh…YOU!" Lewbert shouted, pointing a finger at him. "First that rabid blonde-headed female of yours shows up here, and now you! GAAAHHH, I HATE PEOPLE!"
Freddie furrowed his eyebrows at that.
"Wait…Sam was here?" he asked in confusion.
"YES!" Lewbert screamed, nearly leaping out of his chair to express his deep and twisted frustration. "She was carryin' some sort of FURRY ANIMAL with her, and I told her to get it out of my lobby, and then she threatened to stab my wart with her keys! SHE'S EXTREMELY VICIOUS AND UNPLEASANT!"
"Furry animal?" Freddie muttered to himself, ignoring the rest. He headed towards the elevator without another word, pressing the button. When the door slid up, he got on and hit the button that led to his mom's floor. His thoughts continued to get the better of him the entire way up. When the elevator door slid open, he shook his head and stepped off.
"Nah, she couldn't have…" he decided, but his doubts were still overpowering his mind. "…could she?"
And as he walked into the hallway, he suddenly heard a very loud crash, followed by an even louder scream, and he immediately jumped before he rushed up to the spot he'd heard it from.
"Spencer?" Freddie called as he started knocking on the door.
"AAAAHH! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Spencer screamed frantically from behind the door.
Freddie's eyes widened, and he finally tried turning the doorknob to find that it was luckily unlocked. He ran inside Spencer's apartment to find him standing on top of the kitchen counter, clutching a cookie sheet to his chest and looking absolutely terrified.
"FREDDIE!" Spencer cried. "SAVE ME!"
"From what?" Freddie asked, confused beyond belief, but when Spencer shakily pointed to the floor, Freddie's gaze fell to the ground, and it was there that he saw it.
Not just any kitten, though; it was a black kitten. A black kitten with white paws.
"Sam," Freddie groaned under his breath.
He began to quietly walk up to the kitten, which was merely sitting there, staring up at Spencer, its little black tail curled around its body. Freddie loomed over the kitten, trying his best not to scare it away. Then, in one quick motion, he leaned down and scooped the kitten off the ground before it could run away. It let out a soft cry but luckily didn't try to jump out of his arms.
"Oh, thank God," Spencer said in relief as he lowered the cookie sheet from his chest. "Thank God. I've remained unscathed."
"Hey, Spencer," Freddie started, watching as Spencer slowly stepped down from the counter. "Where'd you get this cat?"
Spencer immediately froze, his eyes widening like saucers and his mouth falling open.
"Uhhhhhh…I, uh…I got it from the…the, um…" he said incoherently, until something finally seemed to click in his head, and he at last exclaimed, "The Pope, that's who!"
"The Pope?" Freddie repeated in disbelief.
"Yuh-huh, the Pope," Spencer said, speaking extremely fast. "The Pope gave him to me. He's such a nice guy. Hey, you want some juice? I think we should both have some juice!"
He promptly walked over to his refrigerator and opened it, pulling out a container of juice. Freddie just stood there, holding the cat and watching as Spencer set two glasses down on the table and began pouring juice into each of them.
"Spencer," Freddie prodded.
Spencer picked up one of the glasses and began drinking from it, now purposely avoiding Freddie's eyes.
"Spencer," Freddie said again. "Don't think I don't know that you're just using that juice to avoid talking to me."
When he finally finished drinking the entire glass of juice, Spencer had no choice but to move the glass away.
"Good juice," he commented. "You sure you don't want some?"
Freddie tilted his head slightly, giving him a serious look.
"It's cranberry," Spencer said temptingly, but Freddie just kept giving him that same look.
"Spencer, did the Pope really give you this cat?" Freddie asked, and as soon as he did, he noticed the way Spencer tensed up again, clutching the glass tightly in his hand.
"Yes," Spencer said firmly. "Yes, he did, but…but not to keep. Yeah, uh, you see, he…he's just in town for a few days, for his, uh…baking class. Yeah, he's gonna learn how to bake…Jesus cookies…so he can…feed all the saints."
He honestly had no idea how to respond to that.
"All right, fine, it was Sam, okay?" Spencer exploded. "That's right, not the Pope. It was your sneaky little girlfriend, Sam Puckett! I swear, Freddie, I honestly don't know how you manage to ever say no to her! She's very persuasive!"
"It takes a strong man," Freddie said, "which, I guess, you're not. No wonder you're still single at almost forty."
"Hey!" Spencer said, but then his stern tone dropped as he somewhat diverted his gaze and muttered, "Just 'cause that's totally true doesn't mean it needs to be said out loud."
Freddie smiled, shaking his head a little, but then he looked back down at the kitten in his arms, and his smile turned into a frown.
"Sam," he sighed.
Freddie unlocked the door to his and Sam's apartment, and as he opened the door, the first thing he saw was Sam herself, sprawled out on their black leather couch with a spoon hanging out of her mouth and a carton of ice cream sitting on their glass coffee table. He rolled his eyes but found himself smiling at the familiar sight. Sam sprang up a moment later.
"Hey, baby," she said. She began to get off the couch, taking the spoon out of her mouth and letting it fall onto the table with a loud clang.
"Hey, cupcake," Freddie said.
Sam put a hand on Freddie's shoulder as the two of them leaned in and shared a quick kiss on the lips. Freddie could taste the chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream on her lips, and he grinned as they pulled away.
"How was work?" Sam asked.
"Fine," Freddie said, briefly glancing back at the open door, where he could see the paper bag he'd left just outside. "So how was your day?"
"Pretty good," Sam said casually.
"Oh, yeah?" Freddie asked, and then he crossed his arms and shrugged. "What did you do exactly?"
Sam's eyebrows fleetingly twitched downward, and she cocked her head a bit, as if she could tell in his tone that he knew something was up.
"Uh," she said, shrugging herself, "I just went shopping."
"Shopping, huh?" Freddie asked. "For what?"
Sam pursed her lips.
"Tampons and chowder."
"AHA—wait, what?" Freddie nearly squeaked, his face instantly reddening, to which Sam grinned triumphantly.
"Mm-hmm," she hummed, nodding, her voice dropping into a seductive tone as she fluttered her eyelashes and whispered, "Anything else you'd like to know…baby?"
And just like that, the confident look that was once on Freddie's face was now completely gone as his arms uncrossed and his eyes widened. Then, when Sam suddenly brought her hands up and began sliding them up Freddie's firm chest, letting out a flirtatious giggle, he started to look like he was having trouble breathing.
"C-Cat," he stammered weakly, biting his lip as Sam's soft hands ran over his chest, tickling him in a really good kind of way.
"What was that?" Sam asked, beginning to lean in closer to him, and Freddie's thoughts were momentarily forgotten as Sam gave him a slow and tantalizing kiss on the lips. He closed his eyes and reached up on his own accord, gently grasping Sam's wrists to stop her hands from roaming over his body anymore.
The sound of their lips tearing apart as Sam pulled away slowly brought Freddie back into reality, and the lustful look on his face disappeared as he snapped out of his daze and shook his head.
"You bought the cat," Freddie said at last, and that was when the sexy smile on Sam's lips dropped off her face as her lips parted and her eyes widened a little.
"Huh?" she said, her hands slipping off his chest as Freddie gently let go of her and walked back into the hallway.
"Does…this look familiar to you?" he asked, taking the kitten out of the paper bag he had put it in.
The guilt was written all over Sam's face as soon as she saw the kitten that her boyfriend was currently holding up in front of her. It meowed, squirming a bit in his arms, clearly wanting to be put down.
"Crap," Sam muttered. She looked back up at Freddie and offered him a cute little smile. "I guess the cat's outta the bag, huh?"
But Freddie wasn't amused by her lame pun, and Sam's smile dropped again.
"Okay," she said, giving up. "I can explain."
"Oh, believe me, you don't even have to," Freddie said, slowly handing the kitten over to Sam, who clutched it protectively against her chest. "You went to the pet store today and bought him without me knowing, and then you were going to force Spencer into looking after him until you could think of a way to convince me to let you keep him. I only know because I went over there to visit my mom, and instead I heard Spencer screaming his head off because of…that."
Sam quietly bounced the kitten in her arms, looking down at it and giving it a soft kiss on the top of its head. Somehow, as Freddie watched her rocking the kitten in her arms, the look on his face began to soften. He'd never really seen this side of Sam before. It was strange, to say the least, not to mention very unlike her, to see her acting so affectionate and…well, nurturing.
"Well, I guess…" Freddie started, and the softness in his tone caused Sam to pick her head up again, a hopeful look on her face as she waited for him to continue. He hesitated for a moment, since there was a huge part of him that had a feeling he was going to regret what he was about to say, but then he sighed and finally said, "I guess…since you already went and bought him and everything…we might as well…just…"
Sam grinned slowly, knowing fully well what he was trying to say. She leaned forward and kissed him on the lips, the kitten between their chests, looking up at them in curiosity. She drew back and smiled even bigger.
"I love you," she said, and hearing that, Freddie grinned, deciding that maybe having a cat wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. After all, it made Sam happy, and is she was happy, so was he.
"Oh my God, Carls, he's the cutest thing," Sam said as she and Carly sat down at an outdoor table of a restaurant where they'd decided to have lunch. "You gotta come see him when you get the chance."
"I definitely will," Carly said, smiling. "He sounds adorable. And Freddie's cool with letting you keep him in your place?"
"Oh, yeah, of course," Sam said. "I mean, he kinda didn't have a choice to begin with…but yeah, he's totally fine with it now. I think he's really starting to warm up to him."
"Aww, well that's good. I'm just kinda surprised, though. I always thought Freddie was more of a dog person," Carly said skeptically.
"He is," Sam said, "but I think he's starting to realize how awesome cats are. After all, they're like me, sometimes violent if you piss them off, but usually lovable as long as you keep them fed and happy."
"Very true," Carly said with a laugh. "By the way, what'd you name him?"
"Papa Fat Cake."
Carly's eyebrows shot up.
"Pa…Papa Fat Cake?"
"Yep," Sam said proudly. "But, y'know, that name's kinda long, so I've just been calling him Fatty for short."
"Sam! Fatty? That's not a cute name for a cat!" Carly scolded. "Is he even fat?"
"No, he's really tiny," Sam said. "He's only like, six weeks old. But, y'know, I plan on spoiling him rotten and feeding him a lot of that fancy tuna fish, so he's bound to fatten up eventually."
"Oh, Sam," Carly said, shaking her head and smiling.
"Hey, little Fatty. C'mere, Fatty!" Sam called, and the kitten sprinted towards her, the bell on his new collar jingling softly. "Oh, you're so cute!" She leaned down and picked him up, and he immediately started to purr.
"Sam?" Freddie called as he emerged from the bathroom, wearing his pajamas, a dark gray t-shirt and a pair of red flannel pants. He stopped for a moment when he saw Sam sitting on their couch. He watched as she placed the kitten on top of one of their couch pillows.
"Good baby," Sam murmured, stroking the kitten's head.
"Sam," Freddie said again, and Sam finally turned her head to see him standing at the doorway.
"Oh, hey, baby," she said with a grin, before immediately turning her attention back to the cat. "Good little Fatty."
Freddie briefly smiled to himself. He had to admit that he was really liking this side of Sam. Granted, it was still pretty weird to see her acting like this, but it was also very sweet.
"Are you coming to bed soon?" Freddie asked as he walked into the living room, stopping in front of the couch. He would've sat down on it, but there sort of wasn't any room thanks to the kitten sitting on the pillow.
"Yeah, in a little bit," Sam said, still adjusting the kitten so that he'd stay on the pillow. "I just wanna make sure Fatty goes to sleep first."
"You did that the past two nights, though," Freddie pointed out, sounding somewhat annoyed, "and you ended up falling asleep on the couch."
"So?" Sam asked, finally giving up and instead picking Fatty up, letting him settle comfortably into her lap.
"So," Freddie said as he moved the pillow and finally took a seat next to her. "You're getting pretty attached to that cat, aren't you?"
Sam scratched the kitten's ears, not paying attention at first, but finally she looked up and turned her head to him.
"Well, I can't help it," she admitted. "He's just so adorable." She looked back down at the kitten in her lap. "Yes, you are, Fatty. You're such a good baby. Who loves you? Mama loves you, that's right."
Freddie watched as the kitten began to close his eyes, and he could hear the soft rumbling sound of the kitten purring.
"Yeah, you really love him, don't you?" he asked, unable to mask the sudden hint of jealousy in his voice.
Sam looked up at him again, furrowing her eyebrows a little.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked suspiciously.
"Nothing, it's just…" Freddie started, but trailed off, not even sure what he was trying to say. A smirk suddenly broke out across his face as he said, half-jokingly, half-seriously, "I kinda get the feeling you like that cat more than you like me."
Sam smiled then, carefully reaching out, brushing her finger beneath Freddie's chin.
"Aww, baby," she said softly, sliding her hand up to his cheek as she asked, "Are you…jealous?"
Freddie looked away from her as he mumbled, rather half-heartedly, "No."
Sam just kept smiling as she ran her hand back down to his chin, eliciting the softest moan from him.
"Freddie," she said, to which he promptly looked at her again. "C'mere."
Sam slipped her hand around Freddie's neck, trying to pull him closer to her, and finally Freddie just gave up and leaned in, crushing his lips against hers in a tender kiss that quickly grew more passionate as Sam let out a small moan, prompting Freddie to deepen the kiss by bringing his hand up to cup her cheek.
"Mmm," Sam moaned before she slowly pulled away, her heat now racing and her eyes half-lidded as she murmured lustfully, "I think I'm ready to go to bed now."
"Fatty!" Sam called as she opened the door to her and Freddie's apartment. "Come here and meet your Aunt Carly!"
The kitten came scampering over to Sam, the little bell on his collar ringing softly.
"Aww," Carly squealed as Sam crouched down to pick him up.
"That's my good little baby," she said, standing back up and running her finger back and forth against the kitten's furry face. "Who's a good boy? You are."
"Hi…" Carly looked at Sam. "…Fatty. You're just the cutest little thing I've ever seen, yes you are."
"You wanna hold him?" Sam offered.
"Sure," Carly said, holding out her hands as Sam placed the kitten in her arms. She rubbed its soft fluffy head against her cheek. "Aww. He's so sweet." She lowered the kitten and let him lay snugly in her arms. "Hey, is Freddie here? I haven't seen him in a while."
The smile on Sam's face faltered then.
The two girls simultaneously jumped as they looked up to see Freddie walking — no, more like stomping — down the staircase. Carly looked over at Sam, who didn't look back at her, but she certainly looked a bit uneasy now as she watched Freddie cross the living room without looking at her, heading to the kitchen.
"Um…" Carly said awkwardly, looking down at the kitten, who was starting to get antsy in her arms. "Not to sound nosy or anything, but…is everything okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, everything's fine," Sam answered dismissively. She finally looked over at Carly to see Fatty getting restless, so she took him from her and gently placed him on the floor, letting him scamper off again. "Freddie's just…"
"Don't say it!" Freddie called from the kitchen, but a few seconds later, he walked back in, stopping at the doorway. "Did you already tell her?"
"Dude, chill out, I didn't say anything," Sam said.
A perplexed look crossed Carly's face as she looked from Freddie to Sam. She had to fight the sudden overwhelming urge to ask the very obvious question: tell me what?
"You told her, didn't you?" Freddie asked as he started walking up to them.
"I didn't, I swear!" Sam insisted.
"Good," Freddie said, but then he shot a look at Carly, who's eyes bulged a little at the irritated look on his face. "Carly, you've met our new cat, Fatty, right?"
"Yeah…" she said unsurely.
"Oh, perfect. So I'm sure you'd love to hear a funny story about what he did last night," Freddie said.
"Freddie," Sam said in a warning tone.
"No, no, it's fine," Freddie said, holding up a hand. "I wanna hear what she thinks of this."
"…What?" Carly asked, somewhat afraid now.
"Okay, so…last night, Sam and I were…" He paused, searching for the right words. "…getting…y'know…intimate—"
"Ohhh, God," Carly mumbled, diverting her gaze in embarrassment.
"Sorry," Freddie said belatedly.
"No, no, it's fine," Carly said, before giving Sam a knowing look. "Better than the way Sam refers to it."
Freddie looked at Sam then, who merely smiled a tight-lipped, innocent-looking smile at him.
"You were saying?" she said.
Freddie sighed, looking back at Carly.
"So anyway," he said, "we were in bed together, fooling around, when out of nowhere, I feel something…warm and soft rubbing against my leg."
Carly's eyebrows shot up as she glanced over at Sam, who now had a hand over her face, trying to hide a smile.
"Yeah, it was Fatty," Freddie said. "I kept trying to make him go away, but every time I did, he'd just jump right back on the bed and start rubbing my leg all over again. And then Sam got all distracted and picked him up and let him sleep in our bed, and that was it."
"So," Carly started, trying not to smile herself, "I'm guessing you're a little…"
"Sexually frustrated, yeah," Sam finished for her.
Freddie gave Sam an annoyed look.
"Uh…I was just gonna say cranky, but…all right," Carly said.
"Look, Freddie, I already said I was sorry," Sam said, "but what else was I supposed to do? Fatty's my little baby. I couldn't just ignore him." Then, as if something dawned on her, she took a step forward, wrapping her arms around Freddie's neck and pressing her chest against his. "I promise I'll make it up to you tonight."
Freddie smirked a little.
"Really?" he asked suggestively, wrapping his own arms around Sam's waist.
Upon seeing that all too familiar sight, knowing very well where it was heading, Carly cleared her throat and started to head for the door.
"Well, then," she said as the couple began to engage in a nauseating lip-lock, "I'll just…be on my way…"
"Mmm," the two of them moaned in acknowledgement.
"Bye," Carly said, quickly closing the door without looking back.
"Bad Fatty!" Sam scolded the kitten, who was starting to get bigger now after only a few weeks. "Why'd you go and scratch up the couch? Daddy's going to be so angry when he gets home."
Fatty looked up at her innocently with his round green eyes.
"Acting all cute isn't gonna work on me," Sam said, but Fatty just kept staring at her, and slowly, Sam could feel her heart melting. "Oh, who am I kidding? Mama can't stay mad at that face."
She leaned down and brushed her hand over Fatty's head, eliciting a soft meow from him.
"Aww," Sam said. "Looks like we're just gonna have to buy you a scratching post so you'll stop scratching the furniture."
Fatty rubbed his head against Sam's ankle as she continued to pet him.
"Ooh, I know what'll get you to stop," Sam said, leaning down and picking Fatty up. "Come on, let's go to the pet store and buy you some special kitty toys."
When Freddie came home later that day, he opened the door to find Fatty literally running around in circles. He furrowed his eyebrows, closing the door, and the sound caused Fatty to jump and run up the staircase like a bat out of hell.
"FATTY!" Sam cried from upstairs, which Freddie took as a sign to immediately flood up the stairs.
"Sam?" he called, pushing open the door of their bedroom, only to find that she wasn't in there.
"In here!" she called from the bathroom, where Freddie quickly headed, pushing the door open to see Fatty scratching at Sam's legs. Freddie tried to reach for him, but Fatty quickly jumped away and ran over to the wall, where he promptly turned and scurried off again.
Freddie stared, wide-eyed, at the door, where Fatty had just ran out of, before he slowly turned back to Sam, who smiled nonchalantly from where she sat, on the cold tile floor, her back leaning against the bathtub.
"Sam…what the hell is going on here?" Freddie finally asked. "What did you give the cat?"
"Nothing!" Sam said, but Freddie just kept staring at her, and she finally just sighed. "I just…bought him one of those cat nip-filled scratching posts."
"Cat nip?" Freddie repeated. "You gave him cat nip? Sam! That's like drugs to cats! You know that!"
"Well, I had to buy him a scratching post, and that was the only kind they had at the pet store!"
"Why'd you have to go and buy him a scratching post right away? You could've waited!"
"No I couldn't, because he was scratching up the couch and I knew you were gonna get mad!"
"Wait…" Freddie took a step closer to her. "He scratched up the couch? The expensive leather couch that I paid for?"
"Only a little," Sam said sheepishly.
"Oh my God, Sam…" Freddie dragged a hand down his face. "…I don't think this whole cat thing is working out anymore."
At that, Sam furrowed her eyebrows, slowly getting to her feet.
"Wait, what? What are you saying?" she asked.
"I'm saying that…" Freddie started, but then he suddenly got a little sidetracked and instead asked, "…wait, hold on a minute…what were you even doing here in the bathroom in the first place?"
"I was just…washing some stuff…" Sam said.
"Washing some stuff? What kind of stuff?" Freddie asked.
Sam smiled shyly, taking a step to the side so that Freddie could get a better look of the bathtub, which was filled with soaking wet bed sheets.
"Fatty had a little accident," Sam muttered.
Freddie scoffed, shaking his head.
"Sam, I…I mean…this is just starting to get ridiculous," he said. "I've been putting up with Fatty for your sake, but now it's getting to be too much. I think now, maybe it's time we consider…"
"Don't you dare say it," Sam said in a sudden low, threatening tone. "If Fatty goes, you go."
"Yep. I'll just kick you out."
"What? You can't do that!" Freddie protested. "I'm the one who pays the rent!"
"Yeah, well," Sam said, crossing her arms, "there's nothing you can say that'll make me want to get rid of Fatty. So either suck it up and deal with it, or you can get out."
Freddie started to open his mouth to say something else, but then he just closed it again.
"Fine," he said in defeat. "You win. I'm sorry."
"That's right. Mama always win," Sam said, and when Freddie smiled at her, she did the same, before leaning in to give him a soft thank-you kiss on the lips.
"Surprise, baby," Sam said, removing her hands from Freddie's eyes for him to see a large box sitting in the middle of their living room. It was wrapped in red and blue striped wrapping paper and slapped with a big red bow on top. Fatty kept walking around the box, occasionally sniffing it and trying to swipe at it with his little white paw.
"Um, wow," Freddie said, genuinely impressed. "What's that for?"
"I dunno," Sam said with a shrug. "You always surprise me with stuff, so I just wanted to do the same for you."
Freddie just stared at her, not really buying it. He didn't move, either, so Sam finally grabbed him by the hand and started dragging him closer to the present.
"I think you're really gonna love it," she said as the two of them sat down on the couch.
Freddie just kept staring at her with a look of growing curiosity. Sam simply moved the box over to him, and finally, he looked down at it.
"Uh…why are there…holes poked all over the top?"
Ignoring his question, Sam grabbed the box and started to rip off the wrapping paper for him.
"Come on," she said, taking his hand and placing it on the box for him to finish. "Open it."
Against his better judgement, Freddie did as he was told, peeling off the wrapping paper with increasing suspicion. He gave Sam one last look, before finally lifting the top off the box, and immediately a fluffy white puppy jumped out at him, barking excitedly as it started to repeatedly lick his nose.
Sam laughed as the puppy tackled Freddie, who closed his eyes and let out a laugh himself.
"Oh my God," he said, picking up the puppy. He stared at its brown eyes and little black nose. "You got me a dog?"
"I knew how much you wanted one," Sam said. "Do you love her?"
The dog barked again, panting and wagging its short furry tail. Freddie smiled, turning his head to Sam.
"I love her," he said, leaning in and kissing her.
"Mmm," Sam moaned contently as he drew back from her. "Good. Now we're one big happy family." She leaned down and scooped up Fatty. The puppy started sniffing him, still wagging its tail. Fatty reached out with his paw to touch the puppy, who barked a shrill and high-pitched bark, scaring Fatty a little, but he didn't jump out of Sam's arms.
"I hope these two will get along," Freddie said, petting the puppy's soft head.
"Eh, they'll be fine," Sam said. "Just wait 'til we have kids. They'll both really be jealous then."
Freddie's eyebrows shot up at that.
"K-Kids?" he squeaked, and Sam grinned.
"Well, not for a while," she said. "I ain't ready to be a real Mama yet."
Freddie smiled in relief.
"So," Sam said, changing the subject, "any idea what you wanna name her? 'Cause I was thinking Chili Cheesecake."
Freddie furrowed his eyebrows, giving her a weird look.
"No? What about just Cheesecake?" Sam asked. "Or Chili?"
"Cheesecake sounds good," Freddie said with another smile.
"Mmm, it does, doesn't it? I think we should go get some now. Right, Cheesecake?"
The puppy barked happily.
Freddie laughed, leaning in and kissing Sam again.
Author's Note: Thanks so much for reading this fic! :) Please be sure to review on your way out! Don't think you can just sneakily hit the favorite button without reviewing first!
Yeah, that's right, I'm talking to you! I see you over there about to click the 'Add Story to Favorites' button! Get back here and review!
Hehe. Thank you. ;D
Btdubs, I've asked this question many times before, so I might as well ask it again, since I'm always interested to know this: which part was your fav? Mine was Spencer. Just Spencer in general, 'cause you know, he's just that awesome. I totally had the most fun writing him in this story. He's just so silly. XD
Edit: No, I will not be writing a sequel. Sorry. I've written plenty of other Seddie fics if you're interested, though.