Truth be told, I've learned a great deal about myself since Danno and I have started…doing this thing we are doing. Having sex? Making love? I don't have a label for it. Somewhere in between those two. He still aggravates me like no one ever has. Gets under my skin faster and further than anyone I've ever known. At the same time, I've discovered I'm addicted to him. His rants. His hand gestures. His hair that's over-done but becomes more and more untamed the longer we are together in bed.
His body is perfect, one of the things about him that excites me the most. He's compact, strong, beautiful. Looking at him disguised by those stupid mainland clothes you'd think he was small, short. And he is shorter than average but he's 101% muscle. Head to toe. He hasn't bested me yet in a real show of strength but he's learning how to use my greater mass against me. Eventually he will win and I'm okay with that.
I'm not sure where he's gone but I know he'll be back very soon. I'm still holding to the slats of our headboard because he didn't say I could release them. Among the things I've discovered is that I get off on obeying Danny in bed. I guess it makes sense. I couldn't have succeeded in the Navy (I'm in the NAVY, Danno) if I weren't capable of following orders. I just never thought it would translate to obeying a sexual partner. But then again Danny is the first person I've ever trusted enough to even try it.
We've found our limits, what works, what doesn't. I can't be blindfolded. That brings back too many scenarios that will destroy the mood before it starts. I will keep my eyes closed if he asks for it. I can be tied to the headboard with one wrist but not both. Even then he makes sure he uses quick-escape knots or I could never allow it. He can tie both of my feet if he doesn't tie my wrists but he prefers having me more mobile than that. If he wants to make me turn over onto my stomach, he doesn't want to have to waste the time untying my feet.
It took me a long time to admit that I wanted to try submitting to him. He suspected it before I did. He would tell me what to do and how to do it – simple things like 'lay still,' 'do that faster,' or 'leave your shirt on' and I'd be rock hard. The first couple of times he asked if I wanted him to be in charge, completely in charge in bed I denied it. He patiently waited until I could admit it. To his credit and to my everlasting gratitude, he never tried to talk me into going down a path not of my own making. Not until I told him I wanted to give over control did he accept that responsibility. And it's not every time. We usually have great, explosive, straight-forward sex and it's…indescribably. Incendiary. When we have some scheduled down-time, when the paperwork is all done and we don't have Grace for the weekend, we agree we'll 'play.' That's our code because it spares me from having to ask outright for it. He says I need to learn to use those words but I'm not ready for that yet. Maybe it makes it too real? That this way I can pretend I'm not submitting to him? He gets how messed up my mental wiring can be and doesn't push. Not yet. I get the feeling he may be getting mentally geared up to break down some of those barriers but not today. Today is about us, being, feeling, enjoying.
"Close your eyes," Danno says as he comes down the hallway.
I do it automatically, laying still to wait. I can feel when he comes in the room the air charged from his kinetic energy. His presence fills any space he occupies and it is a relief to have him back with me.
"You can release the headboard," he says, humor unmistakable in his voice.
"You didn't tell me to," I remind him unnecessarily. I know there is an affectionate smile on his face. I can hear it in his voice.
"You are such a goof."
"I know," I tell him. There had been a time when I would have coldcocked anyone who called me that. But now I crave his warm, amused insults. I can hear him moving around but can't quite tell what he's doing. It's fine because he's concentrating on me and that's all I need to know.
"Raise your hips."
I do it as he slips a towel under my ass. This means it's about to get interesting. Not that laying naked on my bed in the middle of the afternoon isn't already a thrill. My cock responds to the order as well, making Danno laugh.
"Down boy," he says, petting me, his hand warm where it rests on my arousal.
"If you aren't going to do something about this, you might want to move your hand." My voice is strained, the need that is building making it hard to keep it even.
"I'll take care of you," he promises, moving his hand to my hip instead. "Don't I always?"
"Uh huh," I say, breathing a little deeper now that I can think past the arousal threatening to take over my entire brain.
"Lay still," he reminds me, sitting on the bed next to my hip. I nod in acknowledgement, waiting. He has plans. I only have to wait to find out what they are.
I can't help the way my body jerks when something warm drops on my stomach. It isn't uncomfortable but I wasn't expecting the heat of it. I hear the spoon scrape against the bowl Danny must be holding before more of the warmth trails up the center of my chest. I gasp when he follows with his tongue, removing whatever he has poured onto my skin. "What?" I choke out.
He laughs very quietly before he shifts higher on the bed. "Open your mouth," he whispers, his mouth right next to my ear, the warmth of his breath raising goosebumps on my neck.
I do it, waiting until he drips warm chocolate onto my lips, coating them, adding more chocolate to my tongue when it darts out to lick up the sweet liquid. "Mmm…"
"You like it?" he teases like he can't tell.
"Yeah." Even when he knows the answer, he prefers me to answer out loud. Part of his efforts to break down some of my barriers. Some he'll leave undisturbed. Some he's decided need to go and he's the one to blast them into non-existence.
"Good," he says, shifting. The next chocolate lands on my right nipple and I feel it puckering under his tongue as he carefully collects every drop. "So good," he murmurs. I think he's talking about the taste of chocolate but I'm not sure. The more he touches me, the more urgent my need grows. He laughs against my skin when my hips lift, my erection needing attention. "Getting impatient I see." He shifts further down, gently spreading my legs further apart. His right hand feels unnaturally warm as he rubs the inside of my thigh. "This okay?"
"Good," he says, crawling over my left leg to settle between them. He caresses my left thigh as though to make them even before leaning over me to kiss my erection. It feels so good but not nearly enough.
"Danno," I say. It's a request, a confirmation of what he already knows.
"I'm coming," he promises. With that, he drips the warm chocolate directly onto my cock making it twitch in approval. "How's that?"
"That's what I thought," he laughs, pouring a little more. It's almost too much, the warm liquid coating my skin. It makes me want. When I don't think I can wait a second longer, he leans over me and licks off the chocolate. If I hadn't already been on the edge, his tongue would have sent me there.
"Please," I request. I don't have to beg to please him. He accuses me of withholding my words, making him work for them. That is never my intent. Silence is my friend, has been for a really long time. I'm not intentionally making him work for words. We're polar opposites when it comes to talking.
"Please what?" he coaxes. "Tell me what you want."
He's doing it on purpose, I know. I could refuse, hide behind my natural reticence to ask, to reveal what I want. Refusing won't bring the release I need. He'll wait, tempting me, just out of reach.
"I want you to touch me," I say. Not enough. His hand rests on the groove of my hip, his thumb inscribing lazy circles on my skin. "No," I say, shaking my head.
"I am touching you," he points out, his voice warm and soothing for all that he is teasing me.
"I need you to touch my cock. I'm ready to come. I need your help," I whisper. I don't like being so needy, not even for him. But I know I have to show my trust in him by giving him my words.
"What if I do more than touch your cock?" he asks, pouring more warm chocolate onto it. "What if I suck it until you come inside my mouth?" He laughs when all I can do is moan in response. "I guess that's a yes."
"Yes. Please suck me. Please," I finally grind out between my teeth. My fingers are wrapped around the slats of the headboard again. If I don't keep them there, I'll take matter into my own hands, literally and figuratively.
"All right," Danny soothes, adding more chocolate before licking up some of it. "I'll give you what you want. But we're going to trade for it."
"Trade?" I ask, my voice sounding breathless to my own ears. I'm not sure what he has in mind but I know it won't be long before I find out.
"You are going to tell me about one of your missions," he says. He withdraws all contact in anticipation of my refusal.
"You know I can't," I tell him, my voice firmer. He knows there are lines I cannot cross. My sworn oath will follow me to the grave. These are the trade-offs a military career require.
"I checked the regulations," he informs me calmly. "As long as all specific information is withheld, you can tell me the basics. You can tell me about one of the missions you led in SEAL-land which is right outside Disney World. You know, with your squad – Grumpy, Dopey, Sleepy, Happy."
I consider his words. He's right but this is a road I don't want to start down. If I tell him any of it, I'll be way too tempted to tell all of it. That would lead to court-martial, disgrace, likely a return to prison, except it would be to a military one. It's not that I think he'll repeat anything I say. But to break my silence is to teeter at the top of a slippery slope. "I…can't," I finally say, willing him to understand.
"Open your eyes," he says. He shifts so he is sitting further up the bed, one hand on my cheek. "I understand the fight you are having with yourself, Babe. I also know that keeping everything bottled up, never expressing any of it, is a slow death. You think you can handle it by yourself but you can't. You need to trust me, and yourself, enough to share. Share who you are. What you've done."
I give his words the consideration they are due. They aren't easy words to hear. Those words mixed with the arousal still coursing through me make my head spin. I want…so much. Too much. Danny. To orgasm. To close my eyes against the piercing blue gaze that I know can see all the way to my soul. "You can't ask me."
"I can and I am," Danny corrects, his voice in the no-nonsense tone he reserves for me when he thinks I'm being particularly stubborn. Or idiotic. Or more of a goof than usual. Who would have ever thought goof would become my favorite term of endearment?
"You…" I shake my head, my voice quivering despite my best efforts to prevent it. "You know what will happen if I do what you ask?"
"Nothing," Danny says, his thumb rubbing the corner of my mouth. I want that thumb between my lips where I can chew on it, collect his taste.
"I'll be court-martialed. Put in Leavenworth. You want to move to Kansas?"
"I have no intention of moving to Kansas," he tells me with a laugh, the corners of his eyes crinkling in a way I find far too appealing. "You have two choices here, Babe. Tell me about one of your wild rides in SEAL-land or take a shower so you can come to the grocery store with me."
"You have me wound up. You have warm chocolate and the intent to use it. And if I refuse to violate my military oath, you'll go shopping for broccoli and carrots?" I'm impressed at how even my tone is. I wasn't sure I had it in me to talk to him like that under these circumstances.
"Pretty much," Danny agrees. Smug bastard.
"I hate you so much," I tell him. But his laughing eyes deny my words. "Fine. Go to the grocery store. I'll deal with this myself."
He shakes his head at that. "You'll come with me. We'll have dinner. Then bed."
"Bed," I repeat. "Let's just stay here."
"You're going to tell me a story?"
I take a deep breath, hoping it will clarify things a little. Enough that I can think at least. "Will you blow me?"
"I told you we would trade. Blow job for Super SEAL's wild ride."
"All right," I finally concede, hoping it's not the beginning of a trip down a road I should have never taken. "You're going to tell me one too."
"Nothing I've done can come close to your exploits," he says. But at least he's moving down the bed after stripping off his shirt. All that golden flesh covered with his blond fuzz makes my erection spring back to full life. He sees and laughs. Taking off his jeans and briefs nearly does me in.
"Doesn't matter," I whisper as he crawls back between my thighs where he belongs. "You still have to reciprocate."
"All right," he agrees. "Start talking." He holds the laden spoon over my stomach, letting the first drop land on my skin.
"There was this once," I begin, hoping I can concentrate and redact enough to protect us both. "There were four us, including me."
"Grumpy, Sleepy, and Sneezy?" he asks, pouring more chocolate.
"Sure," I say. I lift my head to watch as his tongue makes contact with the chocolate. The touch sends charges through my body. "We were supposed to cross the border out of SEAL-land and enter…uhm…." I have to stop, my brain threatening to short circuit as he licks up more of the chocolate.
"You were going to enter Enemy-land?" he coaxes, smiling up at me. His tongue traces his lips, gathering the taste of chocolate mixed with me.
"Yeah. Enemy-land. We had orders to find and rescue Doc, Dopey, and Dumbo."
"He's not a dwarf?"
"No. Don't tell Grace you said that," he warns, adding more chocolate to my stomach and letting it pool in my navel.
"Okay. Doc, Dopey, and Happy."
"Good," he says in approval. "Go on, Snow White."
I have to laugh at him calling me that. It's beyond ridiculous. But so many things have been since he entered my life this is really just one more. "They were being held by Maleficent's guards. In a cave."
"Maleficent is Sleeping Beauty but it works. They weren't in a dungeon?"
"Sure. The deepest dungeon under her huge castle. It was rumored that she had 40, maybe 50 guards in the castle. We were to take out as many as we needed. No more collateral damage than strictly necessary."
"How many did you eliminate?" he asks, crawling up over my body. As he moves, his chest rubs against my overly sensitive erection. The combination of skin and chest hair is almost more than I can stand.
"Danno," I moan, thrusting up against him without even considering my actions. He licks the chocolate out of my belly-button before lifting his head to look up at me.
"You have it bad," he agrees, smiling that sinful smile of his. "How many guards did you and your dwarves eliminate?"
"Mmm…12. They weren't well trained. Really just civilians held under her spell. We almost regretted having to take them out."
"I would imagine there are very few palace guards as well trained as you and the dwarves."
"Most are better trained than these," I say. "What they lacked in training they made up for in meanness."
"Go on," he coaxes as he licks up more chocolate. "Did you find the dwarves she was holding captive?"
"Yeah," I say, remembering the details of this mission. The pictures surface in my head past the arousal. "They had been beaten. She was looking for intel to take over…uhm… Ariel's ocean. Not that Neptune would have allowed it."
"Triton," Danny corrects.
"What?" I can barely hear him over the blood rushing in my ears. I lift my hips in hopes he will take the hint but he laughs, his breath brushing against my lips.
"Ariel's father is Triton. Not Neptune."
"Oh," I say. I know he's going to razz me for getting this one wrong too. But I haven't watched the Disney Greatest Hits nearly as many times as he has. Maybe he'll cut me a little slack.
"So Maleficent had the dwarves tied up in the dungeon," Danny prompts.
"Please," I say, a break in my voice. "I'll tell you everything afterwards."
"I see," Danny replies, an evil smile on his face. "Your brain is about to short-circuit."
"Yes." It's a confession, a plea for help, a request for relief. "If you love me like you say, you'll blow me now."
"I see," he repeats. The bastard. He hasn't moved still laying stretched out on top of me although he does shift so his erection grinds into mine. Bastard. "All right. You are in such desperate need, I'll give you what you want. But you are finishing the story of Maleficent and her evil dwarves."
"I will," I agree. I'd agree to just about anything if it meant he'd finally bring me over the edge. I've been teetering on it for hours or days or weeks.
I watch as he crawls down the bed, shifting so he's straddling my left thigh. It looks like an awkward position until he reaches over for the lube he put on the bedside table. Watching me to make sure I'm watching him, he coats three fingers, smiling with wicked intent.
"Are you…uhm… please?" I spread my legs a little further apart hoping he'll accept the invitation.
"Yeah," he says, smiling his predatory smile again.
"Get on with it. Please."
"Who's in charge here?" he asks.
"You are," I say. Because he so clearly wants me to admit it. As though there was any doubt.
"Yes I am," he agrees with that same evil smile. Finally, finally he leans over me and licks up my erection. I can't help the gasp and he smiles in approval. With his right hand, he holds me steady so that his lips can surround the wet tip of my cock. The first suction he provides is joined by the first finger slipping into my body. There is a familiar stretch and faint burn as he breeches my muscles. It is pain I crave. But it's not enough.
"More," I beg. He laughs around my cock and adds a second finger. The edges of my vision begin to blur and the entire world narrows down to what he is doing with his mouth and the placement of his fingers. There are three fingers inside of me now, the fullness welcome and delicious. I try hard to lay still not wanting to choke him. He's become very accomplished at going down on me but I know it is still difficult for him sometimes. I'm the only man he's ever done this for and it still overwhelms him if I'm not careful how much I move.
He matches the rhythm of his fingers to his head as he bobs up and down, taking me all the way in before backing off. His cheeks are flushed red, his eyes closed, the expression of pleasure and concentration on his face nearly enough to make me come. His fingers seek out my prostate, hitting it just as he increases the suction and I'm done. I try to warn him but he chooses to ignore me, taking everything I have and swallowing as quickly as he can manage. Come dribbles down my cock and into my pubic hair, mixing with the chocolate he poured there earlier. I'm a mess and I couldn't be happier about it.
"Oh God," I moan, breathless. I feel him hum around my softening cock right before he slurps off. The sound is obscene. The look on his face is smug pride. "You."
"Yep," he agrees, smiling. "Turn over." He pushes my hip to demonstrate what he means and I roll over onto my stomach. The towel prevents the chocolate and come from smearing on the sheets. Smart of him to put it down. "I'm going to fuck you," he announces.
"Ohhh…" All I can do is moan. I'm still coming down from the high of the orgasm and normally he won't fuck me after I've come. But this is about him and being in control. I won't necessarily enjoy being used but I don't mind either. I jerk when I feel warm chocolate being poured down the base of my spine and in the space between my ass cheeks. "Whaaat?"
He laughs, the air brushing against the light coating of hair on my ass. "I'm going to make sure you enjoy it too."
"Oh God," is all I can say. I pull my knee closer to my chest, increasing the amount of access. He takes full advantage, pouring more chocolate right over my hole and perineum. "You use edible lube?" I manage to ask. Otherwise the chocolate will not be able to disguise the medicinal taste of our usual lubricant.
"Cherry flavored," he tells me. "I love chocolate coated cherries." He laughs at what he considers his own cleverness. I don't care what he says when he leans closer and licks over my hole, gathering the chocolate on his tongue. It's…outrageous what this does to me.
"More," I beg, lifting my hips as he does it again. The swipes of his tongue are almost enough to make me hard again. Even if my erection can't return, it still feels better than it has the right to.
"You ready?" he asks close to my sensitive skin.
"Oh yeah," I manage to answer. I can hear him coating his erection with lube and I take a couple of deep breaths to prepare for him. I can't stop the moan as he breeches my tight ring.
"Am I hurting you?" he whispers as he stretches full out on top of me, his weight welcome.
"No no. Do it."
He laughs before sucking on my neck just below my ear. It won't leave a mark but he manages to make it sore with a few passes. As he's feeding my neck he slips his erection up and down inside my body. It hurts in a delicious kind of way and I moan without meaning to.
"You are so beautiful," he tells me. His words make my face even redder. I can feel the blush rise over my neck and straight up to my hairline. He doesn't usually say it although I see the glances he shoots my way when he thinks I'm not looking. "I can never get enough of you."
"Good," I reply moaning as his hips increase in speed. God it feels like nothing else. "Harder."
He grunts and picks up speed, babbling words that make no sense, sounds of his efforts and his enjoyment. I don't try to sort them out letting them wash over me like I would the warm ocean water.
I don't realize he's come until he collapse onto of my back, stilling completely. My ass hurts, my dick feels rubbed raw against the towel, and I have epic dry-mouth. Perfect. "Mmm…"
"Yeah," he manages to agree, his smiling mouth kissing my cheek and smearing it with chocolate. "We're a mess."
"We'll shower soon," he tells me, his voice heavy with impending sleep. I know we will need to compose ourselves before we can hope to get to the bathroom.
"Soon," I automatically agree, my eyes slipping closed.
He's still on top of me when I regain consciousness. His breathing is even and steady and I hate waking him. But the chocolate and lube and body fluids are becoming gross and I'm really ready to wash them off.
"Hey," I whisper, rolling my shoulders to shake him.
"We need to shower. I'm gross."
"Okay," he responds sounding far more awake. "Are you sore?"
"Only a little. Not like I mind," I assure him. He smiles at the words, kissing my cheek again. He won't fully kiss me until he brushes his teeth. One of those things with him.
"Good," he says, squirming off of me and standing next to the bed. He holds out one hand and I automatically take it, following him into the bathroom. "Finish telling me about Super SEAL's wild ride," he says as he brushes his teeth.
"The three dwarves being held captive could barely walk which made getting them out of the dungeon a lot harder then it would have otherwise been," I tell him.
"Had she tortured their feet?"
"No. Taken their boots. They had been barefoot but not long enough to toughen up their soles. I ended up carrying Doc over my shoulder. Dopey claimed he could walk but left a bloody footprint with every step. Dumbo had a dislocated shoulder but never said a word. We tied it up as best as we could but it was still a slow go."
"Did you encounter any resistance getting them out of the dungeon?"
"A minimal amount. Grumpy and Sneezy are…were experts at hand-to-hand combat. They took out five more dwarves. When we reached the drawbridge of the dungeon, Doc, Dopey and Dumbo were momentarily blinded by the sun. The dungeon had been so dark their eyes took a while to adjust. Even so we got them to the drop where the helicopter was waiting."
"How far was it?" he asks, looking up at me. The expression is unfamiliar although I think it looks a lot like admiration. Respect maybe.
"Three miles? Not too far. Grumpy had to carry Dopey the last mile. Doc passed out a mile into our hike. And Dumbo kept trying to toss his cookies. From the pain in his shoulder. He barely slowed down to retch."
"Retch? Who says retch?" he teases me.
"Well. Throwing up implies there was something in his stomach. Which there wasn't. Maleficent didn't really believe in feeding her captured dwarves."
"Damn," he says. "Did you all leave out of the helicopter?"
"Doc, Dopey, Dumbo and Sleepy did. Grumpy, Sneezy and I went back to the castle."
"Where you eliminated Maleficent?"
I just looked back at him, not willing to confirm his theory. But I knew I didn't need to.
"Wow. Did Sleepy get hurt in the rescue?"
"No. He needed to help with the rescued dwarves. There was a mix-up and they didn't send a corpsman. Stupid HQ. He had more training than the rest of the dwarves so he left with them."
"How did you get home?" he asks.
"After we left the castle the second time, we hiked back to our side of the line," I tell him.
"And how far is that?"
"About 18 miles." I shrug.
"About 18 miles," he repeats, shaking his head. "I think I'm glad I didn't know you then."
"Personal attachments were dangerous," I agree. "Sometimes they feel like they still are. But it's worth it."
"I'm dangerous?" he asks. I'm pretty sure he's kidding but maybe not.
"To my emotional stability," I tease.
"You are in no way emotionally stable," he reminds me, reaching up to pull me down for a warm kiss.
"Oh well," I shrug. "I worry you'll be used against me like Hesse used Chin." It is not an admission that is easy for me to make. But he already knows.
"I know you worry, Baby," he assures me. "No way am I giving you up. We'll deal with Wo Fat and his minions."
I nod. What else can I do? "Shower."
He nods, stepping into the hot jets and waiting for me to do the same. "Thank you."
"For what?" I ask, kissing him. "Not taking up all the water?"
"No you goof. For trusting me the way you do. I know it's not easy."
"It is with you," I promise him. And it's true. He makes me a better person. And I can only hope to live up to that.