'Tis Better to Receive
"Spike?" Willow's voice was tentative as she made her way into the dark crypt, trundling a wheeled cooler and carrying a bag containing two cartons of cigarettes. She hoped she bought the right brand. The clerk at the store had given her such a disapproving look yesterday when she was buying them – and could she just say that it was very rude to judge people when they were, after all, buying something you actually sold – and it wasn't like she could explain that she was buying them for a vampire… a vampire for whom she had already acquired a cooler full of blood, assorted types. And really, if she was going to have the moral standing to lecture Spike on ethics, she should find a way to let the hospital know how lax their cyber security was… It had been harder to hack into the employee records at McDonald's that time when… Focus, Willow. Where could Spike be?
Was he here? Of course he was here. It was daylight; he had to be here. Maybe he was still sleeping. Not like she'd told him exactly when she was coming by. She'd been too happy to see him stop bilking innocent people out of money that should have gone to a real charity to think about setting an exact time for her arrival with the gifts – okay, bribe– she had promised.
So caught up was she in her thoughts that she didn't notice a figure emerge from the depths of the shadows just off to her right.
A shirtless figure wearing unbuttoned jeans slung low on lean hips.
"Happy Chanukah, Red," Spike said, making the words sound as sexy as he could.
"Augh!" Willow shrieked and turned to face him, dropping the bag she'd been carrying. Good thing it had only been those smokes she'd promised. The blood would have been a waste splattered all over the floor of his crypt.
Of course, the way she smelled right now would have paid the toll for it. He'd almost forgotten what a banquet she was to the senses when she was frightened. Made him wonder just what some very different sorts of adrenaline rushes would do to the scent of her, to the buzz of emotion he could feel in the dank air.
"Spike. You scared me," she said redundantly, obviously forgetting that he was a demon to whom that fact had already been silently announced. Normally, that disregard would annoy him; today he was glad of it. It meant her guard was down… and that wasn't all that would be down in the next few minutes if he had his way. He took approving note of the skirt she was wearing. Bet there were white cotton panties covering the treasure she was hiding under there. She was still such a virginal thing; her wolf obviously hadn't seen to her properly even in the days before he'd gone sniffing after that flea-bitten bitch. Well, give ol' Spike a go-round or two with the girl and she'd never be mistaken for innocent again. He felt himself getting hard just thinking about it – good thing it was bloody dark in here.
"I see you brought me those prezzies," Spike offered, stepping into the best-lit part of the crypt and lighting a candle. Her breath caught and he knew he'd played his cards right. Bet she'd never seen anyone like him before. Her mutt had been a weedy little thing. Happy Chanukah, indeed, little girl. "Thanks," he added, acting as if he were completely unaware that he was half naked.
Willow's palms were damp and her mouth was dry. Oh God. Spike. With the no shirt and the jeans and the chest and… Were those abs? They were abs, weren't they? Oz hadn't had those. Oh God. Spike had just said something, hadn't he? That meant she was supposed to say something back. But what had he said? "Here's the blood and the… oh shoot." She knelt down and picked up the bag of cigarettes she'd dropped. "These are the cigarettes. I hope they didn't break or anything."
Spike chuckled at her nervous babble. She was a right adorable little thing. "I'm sure they're just fine, pet." He reached out to take them, letting his hand close over hers for a brief moment as she held the bag out to him. "I appreciate you doin' this for me." He'd been right; her scent was transforming into something he liked even better than her fear.
And that flush of embarrassment? All the blood boiling just underneath her skin? Oh how he cursed the chip that wouldn't allow him to taste it. Still, there were other things he'd be tasting.
Breathe, Willow. He's a guy. You've talked to guys - lots of guys. You've even been alone with guys. And hey, now that he had a chip, Spike was just like them. Except for the cheekbones. And the eyes. And the abs.
Actually, Spike was nothing like any guy she'd ever seen ever. Not even like the other vampire she'd seen without a shirt on, though she'd never tell Buffy that she didn't really think Angel was all that great. Spike was much more… Had she mentioned the eyes? And the abs? She couldn't forget the abs (no, not even if she tried). "I… I better go," Willow choked out, feeling the need to rush back to the dorms and take a cold shower… for about three hours.
What? Like hell! She'd brought him blood and smokes and he was bloody well paying her back for them. Besides, she'd got him all worked up with that tantalizing scent of hers and he wasn't going to be left hard and aching… especially since she wanted what he had to give as much as he wanted to give to her. Time to step back from the sexual routine and break out the secret weapon that had always worked on her. He subtly moved back towards the candle, making sure he angled himself so she could see his face well. "You're leaving already?" He let his eyes go soft and ever so slightly vulnerable before hitting her with a dismissive, "Well, all right then. Thanks for dropping by." He turned away.
Oh no. Here he was, all alone on Christmas, which he probably celebrated back when he was human, and she had acted like she didn't want to be around him. She'd hurt his feelings, that was obvious from the way his voice got all tight and cold. Willow hastened to backpedal. "I… I sort of told Buffy I'd drop by. Except , I mean, yeah, we did the gift-exchanging thing last night and all… But I sort of told Tara we could maybe try a spell together or something…" As she became lost in a thicket of babble through which she could scarcely see, Willow's thoughts drifted to the girl from her Wicca group. Now there was another source of confusion. One of these days she was going to have to ask a really impertinent question because sometimes the way Tara looked at her... But not now. "I didn't actually have any definite plans really. Would it be okay if I hung out with you for awhile?"
He might have lost his bite, but Spike hadn't lost anything else. He crowed inwardly as he turned around, a diffident expression hiding his inner sense of triumph. He shrugged and walked languidly back to the sofa and sat, motioning ever so slightly for her to join him. To his delight, she hastened to obey.
All was awkward silence for a moment or two as Spike waited for her to get all het up from being near him again. It didn't take long. "You miss it, don't you?"
"Miss?" It was clear the chit had been too distracted by lust to pay attention and Spike's body began to respond to the renewed scent of her arousal .
"Havin' someone to share the holidays with. Me and Dru… We always loved Christmas. All those carolers…" He stopped, realizing that Willow might not appreciate his fond memories of taking the most out of tune back to his lair and letting Dru help him torture and drain them for their crimes against music. Besides, letting his voice trail off worked better. Made him seem all poncey (which he wasn't, not a bit).
"Oz was spending the night at my house the year it snowed," Willow added softly to the silence at the end of Spike's fractured reminiscence. Funny that even a vampire could be sentimental about this time of year. Listening to carolers… She never would have thought. It made her feel ashamed all over again, not realizing that there was so much more to Spike than just being the Big Bad.
Spike didn't say anything, but he was staring into her eyes now and… Was it her imagination or were his eyes getting bigger?
If he didn't do something now, that soft and caring look on her face was going to turn this into something more than it should be. All he was looking for was a warm body and a bit of fun. After all, it wasn't like he and Willow could actually be an item, not with that Slayer of a best friend of hers. That bint was looking to stake him as it was. Time to get things back on track.
He leaned in and kissed Willow.
Spike lips. Lips of Spike. Willow had no idea what Buffy had been complaining about because Spike lips were… yummy. Soft, but sure… cool, but oh did they make her hot… and that tongue. Shut up brain. Thinking bad. Kissing good. More please. She wrapped her arms around Spike's cool, hard body and moaned into his mouth.
Bloody hell. This girl could kiss and that was no lie. What the hell did that shaggy mongrel think he'd find somewhere else? Because if Red could do half as well with what was below her waist as she did with what was above she'd be a damn fine shag even before he taught her some tricks. Obviously, wolves had no brains at all – or taste for that matter.
Speaking of taste, his mouth had moved to her neck and damned if her skin didn't taste delicious: salt and sweet that carried the faintest buzz of magic. If only he could just break the skin… He wasn't even looking to sink his fangs in… just a drop, that was all he was asking for. But no, those bastard soldiers.
Of course now he made the mistake of looking up, looking into her face again, and he was caught by those green, liquid eyes.
Willow stared into Spike's eyes. He wanted her. He wanted her? Spike wanted her? Boring, nerdy, pathetic Willow? But he wasn't looking at her like she was boring or pathetic. He was looking at her the way guys always looked at Buffy – like she was beautiful and desirable. He couldn't mean it, she decided. No, he was lonely and horny and she was convenient, that was it. It was okay, though; it was. Because hey, she was lonely too, and maybe it was about time she had her first meaningless, cheap sexual encounter.
Stop thinking, Willow.
She let go of Spike with a soft sigh and moved her hands to the buttons of her blouse. But just as she was about to start undoing them, Spike stopped her. Oh no. he didn't want her after all. This was so humiliating.
He ought to be relieved right now. The way she was ready to take her clothes off and go to it right here on the couch? That was what he wanted, right? A nice, no-strings shag? That's what he'd been counting on since the other night. So why the devil was he goin' all soft now? Wanting it to be… not more, for fuck's sake, but…
All right, so now he did want it to be a bit more. It didn't mean he was poncey or looking for a relationship. It just meant that Willow was a sweet thing and she deserved a few more bells and whistles, some soft talk and a comfortable bed. Maybe some conversation when it was all over, some kisses and compliments before she went back to being the fifth wheel with her pals and he went back to being the Big Bad who hated them all. "Let's take this downstairs, shall we?"
The look on her face… Oh hell. He was starting to think this was the worst idea he'd had since he'd shagged Harmony, though in a completely different way. Too late now, though, wasn't it.
Spike did want her after all. Willow felt way too good about that. Good like this meant something, which it didn't. But it wasn't like she could back out now, even though she sort of wanted to. Not because she didn't want Spike – because her whole body was humming and oh god she didn't think she'd ever wanted sex this much –but because once the sex was over, she'd be left with feelings she just knew were going to get hurt.
Still, when Spike took her hand and got up, she let him guide her to her feet and lead her down to his bedroom.
Silk sheets, wow. How did he manage those when he…? Okay, maybe she should postpone thinking for later. Better to just get back to the whole 'getting naked' thing now. Her fingers were once again at the buttons of her blouse, but she stopped when she saw Spike lighting candles. "I…"
"Wanna see you," he said and it sounded a lot like an order. So, being the girl she was, Willow obeyed.
Gods below but she was beautiful. As pale as any vampire, but in a way that glowed with life. Small but pert breasts that would fill his mouth nicely, slim waist and hips, and those legs – oh how he wanted to be between them, to feel them wrapped around his hips. "Beautiful," he breathed and he was hard as a rock from the blush that now pinked every inch of that smooth skin.
She sat down on the bed and he made quick work of his jeans. This time she was the one staring in admiration and it made him feel… Better than he had in longer than he'd like to admit. She was looking at him as if he was the best thing she'd ever seen – no foggy gaze with thoughts of Angel behind brown eyes.
He was not going to think about bloody Dru or about how much he wished he'd turned Willow that long-ago day when he'd kidnapped her.
Time to shag.
Sitting beside Willow on the bed, he took her face in his hands and kissed her. It was a passionate kiss, not the tenderness of a few moments ago, but that was all right (it was), and soon enough the two of them were horizontal – just as they should be.
Willow felt like a virgin, maybe more like a virgin than she had felt when she still was a virgin, if that made any sense, which it didn't, but her brain was angry at being told to shut up so many times and it was off sulking in a corner and refused to help Willow figure this out. But even though this was confusing and weird, she felt like this was the first time she'd even kissed someone and more than that, it was like she hadn't even had sex ed. Wait: Tab A, Slot B, right? She reached down and stroked…
Ohgodohgodohgodohgod. Because it had looked big, but it felt even bigger and… Would it fit? 'Cause Oz had always felt like a pretty good fit and Spike was…
… kissing his way down her body. And he'd stopped at her breasts.
She and Oz had always had to be careful about stuff – the whole 'werewolf' thing making them both kind of paranoid about anything that might accidentally involve teeth – but she'd never known any better and hadn't really thought she was missing anything.
Boy had she ever been wrong. Because when Spike bit lightly on her nipple with blunt teeth, it sent shockwaves straight to… "Oh!"
If his nose hadn't told him differently, he'd have sworn Willow was a virgin after all. Guess Dogboy had been the 'wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am' type because Willow was reacting to Spike's touch as if everything he was doing was brand new to her.
Bugger. Now he was well and truly caught, wasn't he? Because this was special, wasn't it? And not just to her. He couldn't believe she had loved that pathetic creature so desperately knowing now how little she'd got out of him. "You're amazing," he said without thinking, hating himself for a ponce the moment he'd spoken.
Best to keep his mouth occupied with other things. Abandoning her breasts, Spike kissed his way down Willow's body, unable to stop himself from making mental notes about that spot on her hip that made her giggle, until he reached that place between her legs, free access to which he'd foolishly believed was all he wanted from her.
Touching his tongue to her, he gave up the fight at last. A demon he might be, but she tasted like heaven.
Willow almost leapt off the bed. Spike's tongue felt even cooler… there. But she forced herself to stay still and within seconds she felt like she never wanted this to end. Not that this was the first time she'd ever had oral sex, because Oz had done this for her a few times, but Spike…
He was like the god of tongues or something. Whatever he was doing… she'd be screaming if she could figure out how. But even the part of her brain that covered basic functions had turned to goo and was happily melting out of her ears now. Bye-bye. She wasn't sure she'd miss it as long as Spike kept doing that…
At that precise moment she remembered how to scream.
And she did.
If she'd tasted like heaven before, the flavor of her release was even better and Spike could easily trade blood for this forever. Never in all his unlife had he been with anyone as responsive to him as Willow was. He was almost scared to be inside her.
Of course, as a vampire, he thrived on fear. So, waiting only long enough for the last echo of her cries to fade, he moved up her body and thrust inside her.
She was… too fucking perfect. Tight, hot, wet…. And the way she called out his name, the way she clung to him, the way she moved against him, giving as good as she got? All he could say was that the Slayer better not even think about trying to keep him away from this girl. Once wasn't close to enough – it wasn't even enough for a start.
His ears rang with her voice and the carnal music of their flesh. She screamed again and Spike couldn't hold back. He joined her in release, the warmth of her seeming to fill him the way he filled her.
Oh God. This had not been sex. Because Willow had had sex before. Good sex. She had. This wasn't anything like that. This was… Okay, right now she couldn't think of what to call it because her brain had gone out to lunch, but the sign on the door said it would be back in fifteen minutes so she'd wait and the word would be there. "Wow," she panted as Spike pulled out of her and lay beside her. She wanted to make sure he knew she'd had a good time.
"You're a wonder, luv." He was probably just being nice, she thought, but then she turned and looked into his eyes.
Could she trust what she saw there?
"This isn't a one-time shag." Again, he said it like it was an order.
"No. No, it isn't," she assented.
"I meant it to be," he admitted, hoping against hope that she didn't hate him for it.
"I kinda figured that. I was all prepared for it and everything." He chuckled. She hadn't been prepared at all and he knew it, even if she didn't. She wasn't the type and he'd known that all along. Guess she wasn't the only one who'd fooled herself.
"No need to worry about that now."
"I guess not."
"There's no guessing about it. You and me? We'll be seeing a lot more of each other."
Of course, she would be the one to mention the elephant in the room. "What about Buffy? She's not gonna be all support-gal, you know. She kind of hates you."
"We'll figure something out, pet." He wasn't sure he believed that, but he sounded convincing and that was what counted. Pausing for a moment, he changed the topic back to something more pleasant. "Thanks for my Christmas present."
Of course, she would misunderstand. "Oh. Yeah. The blood wasn't all that hard to get actually. The hospital's computer system is so easy to hack I am sort of shocked that no vampires have tried to get in themselves. I…"
Silencing her with a quick kiss, Spike corrected her. "I didn't mean the blood. Or the smokes. Not that I don't appreciate them. I meant you. You're the best present I've ever had."
Willow stared into his eyes, wanting so much to believe him. "Really?"
Smiling and snuggling against him, Willow thought about how this had all started – with Spike impersonating Santa on a street corner, and she observed, "You know, I'm starting to get what all the fuss is about. Christmas isn't such a bad holiday at all."
"Chanukah's still better."
Huh? Where did that come from? Was he saying that because she was Jewish or…
"Think about it. Christmas is only one day. Chanukah's eight."
Oh… "Oh. Well, I guess I sort of owe you then. I mean, we've only celebrated once and…"
Spike kissed her once more; this time it wasn't quick.
But then again, neither was the second celebration.