Uh, hi! Yeah, I write LotR stories now.. I haven't written one for years and years but this idea would just not leave me alone. So, this story is ridiculous and probably pretty dumb, but I had the most enormous fun writing it, so I hope you enjoy reading it!
Just as I don't own HP, nor do I own LotR. :)
It was a dark place where they had chosen to settle that particular night; a foresty area in the middle of nowhere. Pippin had not wanted to stop there at all, but they were all too exhausted to walk anymore and so there really wasn't anything they could do, so he had just curled into a pile of leaves next to Merry. And somehow fallen asleep in record time. Hobbits.
Aragorn was not so lucky.
He was lying awake, not even trying to go to sleep. The stars, which he could just see between the veils of trees, were starting to fade; it would be morning soon and he hadn't closed his eyes for more than a few moments all night.
Several things were on his mind, their quest, whether or not Frodo would survive, whether Pippin would eat all the food, if Boromir was evil, Gandalf and Sauruman, and a certain Elf princess.
Except not that last one. Legolas
He groaned softly to himself. He was thinking about her. A lot. Too much.
He forcefully shook his head. This was ridiculous and stupid and stupidly ridiculous. There was no point.
"Would you go to sleep, Aragorn?" came a quietly irate voice from next to him. "That is what I am trying to do, and your groans are not helping."
Aragorn rolled his eyes. Fancy Boromir trying to catch a ranger off his guard.
"I'm terribly sorry," he replied, voice loaded with sarcasm. "Some of us have things on our minds."
Boromir snorted. "Things?" he said derisively, sitting up and looking down at Aragorn.
Aragorn sat up too and looked the steward's son in the eye. "Yes, things."
"I wouldn't expect you to grasp them."
Aragorn disdained to reply.
"Important things on our minds," Boromir went on. "Such as.. Arwen, perhaps?"
Rike. How did he even know about Arwen?
Again, Aragorn disdained to reply. There wasn't really anything he could say to that anyway. Even with his silence he could feel himself going slightly red. Stupid Boromir. Maybe he would just throw him in along with the Ring once they got to Mount Doom.
That would be very nice indeed.
Boromir was smirking. Searching for something to say back, Aragorn finally responded with what probably was not something particularly polite in Elvish.
Boromir was pleased. "Maybe Arwen understands that, but I don't," he said amusedly.
"Will you two go to sleep," came an extremely irate voice from the side.
"Ah, hello, Legolas," said Boromir, pleased that he now had an audience. "The alleged heir to Isildur was keeping me awake with his talk of things on his mind."
"Things?" said Legolas, sitting up. "Like Arwen?"
He was definitely going red now. Okay, it was one thing for Boromir to mock him, but Legolas? Traitor. That was two for Mount Doom, then.
"Ah! See!" said Boromir, sounded utterly delighted. "We all know what important things are going through your mind, future King Aragorn.."
"Don't call me that," muttered Aragorn.
"I'm certain Arwen will make a lovely queen," Legolas said innocently.
He would rather like to murderously behead them both, but that would make so much noise and then Pippin would wake up and be all annoying again. And then where would he be – annoyed. That was where.
More annoyed than he already was, like. And he was really annoyed.
Boromir snorted. "Right," he said, sounding extremely amused. "King Aragorn and his Lady Arwen. Can you imagine such a sight?"
"I can," came a cheerful voice.
"Pippin, go to sleep," said Aragorn wearily. "Please...just go to sleep."
"I'm not awake," said Pippin cheerfully, scrambling over. "I just heard Boromir making fun of Aragorn. Who is Arwen?"
Aragorn groaned and buried his face in a convenient pile of leaves. "No one. She is no one."
"Now," said Legolas reproachfully, "how would you like it if I told her you said that?"
"Oh!" said Pippin suddenly. "Oh, Arwen was that Elf lady wasn't she? She was pretty. Elrond's daughter."
"Don't say that round Aragorn, Pippin," said Boromir wisely.
"Why not?" said Pippin.
"Go. To. SLEEP," shouted Aragorn.
"Because he's in love with her," explained Legolas.
"Oh my God I hate all of you so much!"
"Sam is in love with Rosie Cotton," mused Pippin. "But once I said she was pretty and he was right there and that was all right."
"Aragorn's a bit more possessive," explained Boromir.
"SHUT UP, BOROMIR!" screamed Aragorn.
"GO TO SLEEP," roared Gandalf.
"Yes, Gandalf!" cried Pippin, scrambling back to his sleeping.. place.. thing.
Boromir and Legolas were not so kind. "We're not afraid of Gandalf," pointed out Legolas. "But Pippin is."
"Well you should be," hissed Aragorn.
"Are you?" asked Legolas.
"Am I – no!"
"He's afraid of Elrond," Boromir said.
"NO I AM NOT."
"Oh yeah, I forgot. D'you know Boromir, whenever I used to come round to visit Elladan and Elrohoir – Aragorn was really young back then – "
"Be quiet. Now. I mean it!"
Everyone ignored him. " – he used to be so terrified of Elrond," Legolas continued. "It was really quite funny."
"I was FIVE YEARS OLD," said Aragorn angrily.
"My brother wasn't scared of our dad when he was five," said Boromir. "Our dad is much scarier than Elrond."
"I seriously doubt that," said Aragorn.
"Yes it must be terribly difficult to have a mean father in law," said Legolas.
"He is not my father in law," growled Aragorn, trying not to acknowledge that he was fighting a losing battle. It would just be too, too sad.
"Not yet," agreed Boromir. "But you want him to be. You really really really want him to be."
"I do not!"
"Oh, so are you saying that you don't want to marry Arwen?"
"I – that's not what I – this isn't your stupid business, idiot!" Aragorn proceeded to direct some words in Elvish toward Boromir that Arwen would probably not approve of.
"That was a bit rude," said Legolas.
"IT WAS MEANT TO BE,"Aragorn growled.
Boromir only laughed. "You know what I think?" he said conversationally, an evil note in his voice. "I think our ranger here is just frightened that dear Arwen won't feel the way he feels for her, and so even saying her name will aggravate him half to death – and with good reason, isn't it, he is a ranger after – "
Aragorn punched Boromir in the face.
There was a silence.
"Aragorn!" cried Legolas. "You – "
Aragorn spun around and punched Legolas, too. "Will you two," he snarled, "both of you, shut up."
He haughtily lay down and was just savoring his victory when – of all people – Gandalf's innocent voice snaked out of the darkness one more.
"Does this mean we're not invited to the wedding, then?"