EXTRA UPDATE DUE TO HIATUS: Because I've been gone for so long, I thought I'd give a bonus update. The Act I Prologue is now updated all nice and shiny-like. Go check it out.

AN: HOLY BANANACAKES IT'S DONE! You have no idea how much time I spent writing and re-writing Kurtis' soliloquy at the beginning. (hint, it was about 4 months or so) But I did it. YESSS.
Huge thanks/shout out to Jessica. This is for you. Read and enjoy your Kurtis-y goodness. Perhaps I can get back to regular updates? *crosses fingers*

Man have I missed these disclaimers. Kurtis is the most awesome being in the world, and his emotional turmoil entertains me. Lara is fantabulous. Heck, I'd even put up with Alister at this point. I own nobody except my fried brain, which tastes nice dipped in barbeque sauce. Mmmm... *creepy smile*

Act II

Scene ii

(Kurtis enters)

Kurtis: I'm breaking into the Croft Manor garden. I'm breaking into the Croft Manor garden… I must be absolutely insane. I mean, this would certainly qualify as insane, dangerous, and possibly life-threatening. Fun stuff to do in my free time, I tell you. And now I'm talking to myself. Just what I need. Next thing you know I'll be as batshit as Natla herself, pre-lava anyway…
So. Life. I'm breaking into the Croft Manor garden. To see Lara, because… I'm not quite sure. Because I've taken leave of my senses. And Zip has gone AWOL, and I have no inclinations whatsoever to talk to Alister, and things always make more sense with Lara anyway. Actually, nevermind that. I don't need any romantic-esque crap. What am I, Romeo?

(He pauses, if anyone in the audience says yes, he glares at them, then continues)

Kurtis: *mega sarcasm* Yeah, that's what I'm going to do, stand outside her window and recite lovey-dovey poetry garbage. I may be insane right now, but there is a limit to how much bullshit I can put up with at one time.

(A balcony appears on the side of the stage, with light surrounding it)

Kurtis: That's it, I'm going. I'm done with this madness, these strange thoughts, this…

(Kurtis moves to exit away from the balcony)

Lara: (from offstage) 'Night Doppie!

(He freezes, and turns toward the balcony)

Kurtis: No… I shouldn't. I need to leave, or I'll get caught. But…

(He moves to the edge of the light)

Kurtis: Lara!

(Lara enters on the balcony, half-asleep)

Lara: Hmm? Did I hear something?

(She waits a few seconds, not noticing Kurtis)

Lara: Probably just the wind…

Kurtis: (whispers) Okay, now that I've seen her, I'm leaving.

(She moves to leave)

Kurtis: *cringes*Lara!

(Lara picks up a gun from offstage and whirls around, pointing it around the stage)

Lara: I know you're there!Show yourself!

Kurtis: Don't shoot.

(Kurtis steps into the light, and Lara visibly relaxes, putting the gun down offstage)

Lara: Kurtis? What are you doing here?

Kurtis: I asked myself the same question. The only answer I got is that I've lost it.

Lara: *laughs* In that case, can I join you? It seems like a lovely night to take leave of one's senses.

(She climbs down from the balcony and joins Kurtis on the ground)

Lara: So…

Kurtis: So.

Lara: How's life?

Kurtis: Pretty shit, actually.

Lara: I know the feeling.


Kurtis: I just need to get away from it all, you know? I mean, my 'friends', and I use that term loosely, are all well and good, but-

Lara: They just don't get it. The whole feuding families thing. How we're expected to do what our families do.

Kurtis: We need to get out of this city.

Lara: Hmm?

Kurtis: You and I. Leave, go somewhere, and never look back.

Lara: Why haven't you left before?

Kurtis: Who honestly is going to give a broke ex-merc a plane ticket to anywhere? And my bike can only go so far.

Lara: Good point, but… I think I know someone who might… or rather, someone who could get us out of the city.

Kurtis: And why haven't you left, if you know this person?

Lara: Father shut down almost all my contacts after a few… incidents, not too long ago.

Kurtis: Involving Natla getting shoved into a pit of lava?

Lara: No, I don't think he knows about that one, but let's just say it had to do with the Russian Mafia.

Kurtis: Have I ever told you you're insane?

Lara: Once or twice, perhaps…

Kurtis: And this contact… could get us out of Paris?

Lara: If nothing else, beyond city limits, where we could catch a plane to… somewhere.

Kurtis: London maybe?

Lara: No, I have family there. I was thinking the States, myself.

Kurtis: No way. Lux Strongholds over there, and I'd prefer to stay in one piece thank you.

Lara: Eastern Europe then? My Czech isn't that good, but…

Kurtis: Eastern Europe is even worse than the States. How about Italy?

Lara: Sounds alright. I've been meaning to go to Venice…

Doppie: (From offstage) Lara! Where are you?

Lara: Oh dear…

(Doppie enters on the balcony)

Doppie: Your mother wants to talk to y-

(She sees Lara and Kurtis, and sighs)

Doppie: I saw nothing. Just… hurry it up, alright?

(Doppie exits)

Lara: I... I need to go.

Kurtis: Here, I'll give you a boost.

(He helps her back up to the balcony)

Kurtis: I'll see you around, yeah?

Lara: Yeah. I'll see about talking to the contact about getting us out of here soon.

Kurtis: How're you going to send me the message?

Lara: What do you mean?

Kurtis: Well, you've already made yourself rather suspicious, Miss Croft, what with talking to random strangers in the street, and in your garden.

Lara: I didn't invite him into my garden, he broke in.

Kurtis: Still suspicious.

Lara: If you prefer, I could have shot him on sight rather than speaking to him…

Kurtis: I'd rather you didn't, at least in my case. But if anyone else shows up here, I'd be more than happy to shoot them for you, if you want.

Lara: I'll be sure to keep that in mind.

Doppie: (offstage) Lara! Hurry up!

Lara: Okay!
*to Kurtis* Goodnight then, I suppose.

Kurtis: Goodnight Lara.

(Lara exits, and lights around balcony dim)

(Kurtis is left smiling, then shakes his head sharply, and walking offstage on the other side)

Kurtis: I'm not Romeo dammit!

Love, cookies, and hugs all around! Reviews are appreciated and will be munched on gleefully! And go check out the new prologue if you haven't already!