"And that, my friend, is that."
Spider-Man and his best friend, Nightwing, were just wrapping up a case in New York City. They had Mr. Hyde tied to a lamp post and were ready to take the nearest Boom Tube to Gotham City, where Dick Grayson was hosting a New Year's Eve party.
"Come on, Bird Boy. It's eight o'clock on the dot. I made a promise to M.J. that this year I wouldn't miss our New Year's kiss."
"So you're saying you've missed out on giving your outrageously hot wife a New Year's kiss before? I'm stunned."
"Well let's see. Three years ago I had to help Johnny stop ol' Paste Pot Pete from covering everyone in Time's Square in his 'special paste'. Don't ask. Two years ago I was just plain knocked the heck out by Sandman, and you of all people should know why I couldn't be with my crimson-haired cutie last year."
"I'm sorry, but I honestly don't."
"I was FIVE MINUTES away from my apartment when YOU called me and asked me to keep you company while you waited for a shipment of illegal weaponry to come into Gotham Harbor that NEVER CAME! I try to say no, and you give me some sob story about 'being alone on the holidays'. In that three hours I saw hobos doing…things… that I will never be able to get out of my mind."
"Oh yeah. I remember now. Hahahaha. Good times."
Spidey let out a sigh as they swung to a nearby roof top.
"My point is that I'm not screwing up this year. Parker luck be darned, nothing will stop from smooching with my honey when that ball drops."
"I swear that I will do everything in my power to make up for last year. Plus, I made the same promise to Betty, and if I'm not there, I will be getting 'kicked in the jugular.' Her words, not mine."
"All the more reason to get to Kyle Rayner's place so the Boom Tube can get us back to Gotham."
After switching to civilian clothes, they walked into Kyle Rayner's, the current Green Lantern, apartment building. When they went to knock on his door, they were startled to hear signs of a scuffle.
"Help me break this door down, Pete."
"This may not be the kind of thing where we should do that. Maybe we should just leave."
"See. I don't know how much more obvious of a cry for help you need."
"I'm still not convinced."
Suddenly, Kyle's body comes flying through the door, hitting the door across from his.
"Consider me convinced."
Dick helped Kyle up and inquired about his current predicament.
"Hey buddy. Who's the chick with the staff?"
"Her name's Fatality. Wants me dead. If you guys would like to assist me in preventing that, I can't say I'd mind. But we'd better take this to the roof if I still wanna be living here once the date changes tonight."
In a flash of green light they were all transported to the roof, including Fatality. And for convenience sake, they were now all in there costumes.
"Wow. Just like Firestar used to do it. Mind telling us about who we're helping you fight?"
"She doesn't have special powers, but she's one of the most skilled martial artists and weapons masters in the galaxy."
"Oh, really? Let us compare, shall we?"
Nightwing got a running start and tried a flying kick. Fatality grabbed his leg and threw him right off the building. Spider-Man jumped down, caught him, and web-swung them both back up.
"Got a little overconfident there, didn't you?"
"Shut up. I won't let that happen again."
In the brief time it took them to back on top of the roof, the battle between Green Lantern and Fatality had already resumed. Kyle was sending everything he could throw at her, giant monkeys with cymbals, golf clubs, pterodactyls, nothing was working. Spidey and Nightwing realized that desperate times called for desperate measures. Spidey shot a web at an AC and held on tightly. Nightwing got in the middle, stretched it as far as he could and launched himself at Fatality. Taking her completely by surprise, she fell right over. Nightwing, using her surprise to his advantage, launched a series of close range punches to her face. She tried to throw him off of her, but he had wrapped his legs tightly around her waist. She reached for her staff, but Spider-Man quickly flung it away with his webbing. Finally, she worked her way to her feet and rammed Nightwing into a door.
"Hey, babe, no one man-handles Nightwing except me! Wait, let me re-phrase that."
Fatality quickly sent a barrage of punches Spidey's way and he returned the favor. Neither one was able land a blow. Seeing that he needed to end this, Green Lantern used his secret weapon: the vacuum cleaner construct. It sucked her right in and the lack of oxygen inside the "bag" caused her to pass out.
"You…you couldn't have used that a little sooner, Kyle?"
"Sorry, Dick. That was my secret weapon. You can only use that on special occasions."
"He does make a good point, pal. So, Rayner, since we did help you out, could you do us a solid and take us to Watchtower now. We have a party to get to."
"Sure thing. Follow me, gentlemen."
By the time they got to Watchtower and helped make sure that Fatality was imprisoned, it was 9:14.
"Alright. We'll be a little late, but we should still get there with plenty of time to get our groove on. Let's get to boomin'."
As if to counter Peter's newfound joy, a distress call came in. Martian Manhunter, the Justice Leaguer on monitor duty asked if they could answer the call, because every other Leaguer was either at a party or busy responding to other emergencies.
"Actually, Mr. Martian, we-"
"Would love to do it!"
"Thank you, Nightwing. I sincerely appreciate it."
J'onn shared a cookie with each of them, then teleported them to their coordinates.
"Why'd you have to volunteer us for this, Dick?"
"It's a simple prison riot at the Vault. This is a ten minute job, fifteen tops."
It was a two hour job. By the time they had helped calm down the prisoners, helped put them back in their cells, and got transported to the Bat Cave it was 11:23.
"I've never been around so many ugly, smelly, and foul-mouthed individuals in my life. And that was just the women's wing."
"So maybe, it took a little longer than expected, but the important thing is that we're here now and nothing can keep us from my party."
Just then, a red light flashed from the Bat Computer and Batman's face appeared on the screen.
"Hey Bruce, what's up?"
"I need back up now. The Penguin's strapped bombs to dozens of penguins and let them loose around the city. The bombs are set to go off at midnight."
"Pete, if you wanna sit this one out, I understand."
"Are you kidding me? Let's get to work."
And so, they took off on a Bat cycle. Thanks to Batman's help, they were able to trace the bombs, making the job a lot easier. While going after the last one, Peter asked a question about the guests at the party.
"So I never asked, who all is supposed to be there tonight?"
"It's a pretty small gathering. Just some assorted members of the Bat family. Some friends of mine from high school, and college. Oh, and some other guys in the superhero biz. But don't worry, none of them are in costume."
Inside Wayne Manor, it's 11:49 and Mary Jane and Betty are worried that their men will miss the dropping of the ball.
"Where could they be, MJ? Dick is missing his own party. You'd think the least he could do is call. If he's not here in the next five minutes, I'm gonna kick him in the-"
"Hello ladies. The name's Clint Barton. Have you ever seen a bow and arrow up close? Maybe we could go out back and I could-"
Betty responded to Clint's advances by…kicking him in the jugular.
"Betty, was that necessary?"
"Necessary? No. But it was fun."
At 11:57, Peter and Dick pulled into the cave and quickly changed into the clothes that they had left for themselves. At 11:59, they were upstairs, searching for their ladies through the crowd. Once they found them, they grabbed them, pulled them close and kissed them passionately.
"Tiger, that was great. So great that I forgive your tardiness. But you do realize we have thirty seconds until the ball drops, right?"
"Oh…well, that was just part one, baby. Mary Jane Watson-Parker, I love you."
"I love you, too, Tiger. So much."
Dick and Betty's moment of intimacy wasn't quite as heartwarming.
"Betty, I'm sorry I-"
"Shut up and keep kissing me, you jerk."
Dick was more than happy to oblige.