Author's Note: This update was written by Melissa (T & M Fan) and Sharon.
Family Album : Chapter Nine
She wanted to tell him it had been a mistake. A part of her was afraid to trust in him again. And yet when she rested her head against his bare chest and listened to his heartbeat, she could feel the heat of their love the way it once was and she wondered if they still had a chance.
"I still love you Bo…I don't think that was ever the problem…neither was this…we were always compatible with sex…and Gracie isn't the only problem between us either…are we ever going to talk about that? Are you ever going to forgive me…I don't want to spend another decade trying to make up for something I can't even remember…"
"Because you were drunk…Because you were in so much pain that you drank yourself into such an alcoholic haze that you ended up…"
"I knowwhat I did Bo…You don't have to remind me…But don't sit here and pretend that this is all me…you were the one who refused to…I needed you to be there for me and you weren't…I needed you to love me and you denied me even that…so yeah…I did the one thing I swore I would never do to you again…because for a few hours, it made me forget that my daughter was dead and my marriage was falling apart…it made me forget that my whole life was not in line…I'm sorry…what do you want me to say…I can't give you what you want…I can't go back in time…any more then you can…"
Bo sat up in the bed and started putting his clothes back on. Nora pulled the hospital gown back around her and sighed. "We still have the same problem we always had don't we? I'm not the angel you want me to be and you can't forgive me for being imperfect. Why don't we get to the real problem here Bo…You don't trust that this child is yours do you?"
Cristian noticed the oncoming car as Bree was racing towards her mommy's car and pushed the little girl out of the way. Jessica screamed as she gathered her little girl close and saw the man that she loved lose consciousness on the street.
"Mommy, he saved me," Bree said.
"I know sweetie…he's a hero. Here…" (She handed her daughter the phone.) "You remember what mommy told you about calling for help. Can you call for help? Mommy needs to stop the bleeding. "
"Okay mommy," she said, as she dialed 911 like a big girl. Jessica took off her jacket and opened Cristian's shirt where she applied pressure to the wound.
"Don't you dare die on me Cristian Vega…I love you."
Joey and Kelly sat in the waiting room and prayed. There was nothing else that could be done for Kevin and Rachel and they felt so useless.
"I never thought I'd see the day when everyone around us was in more pain then us," Kelly said. "I feel kind of guilty for being happy."
"What are we going to do Kel…If we keep waiting for a good time to get married, we may never do it… and yet…can we really get married when everyone we love is in so much pain…I don't know what to do…"
"Maybe we should pray about it," she said.
They joined hands and bowed their heads. They were searching for answers that may not come.
"You're right, I'm not sure if that child is mine and if you're honest with yourself then you'll admit that this child could be John's just as easily as it could be mine," Bo ranted.
"You're right Bo, is that what you want to hear? This child could be John's...what if it is? Would that be the end for us?"
"No...I don't know," Bo muttered as tears sprang to his eyes. "I want to forgive you Nora, but you had sex with my best friend. Every time I think that I can get past what happened, then the images and sounds of you moaning in pleasure while he fucks you comes into my mind."
"I'm sorry that we hurt you, that was never our intention, but I can't take it back and I don't know what to say to make things okay with us again."
"Are you sorry Nora? If it was just a stranger, then I probably could get past this, but it's John, and I need to know, do you have love him?"
"I'm so sorry...I didn't see...Jessica? " he asked as he stepped out of the car and came face to face with the woman he loved.
Daddy?" Bree asked as her lips trembled as she ran to him.
"Nash?" Jessica asked. "It can't be...I saw you die."
"I'm so sorry Jess, but it was the only way that I could keep you and Bree safe. I'll explain everything, but first we have to help your...friend."
"What should we do?" Kelly asked.
"I don't want to wait another second...I say that you and I elope tonight and we'll throw a reception later on when our friend's and family can celebrate with us. What do you say? Will you elope with me?"
"Of course I will. The only person that I need to be there is you," Kelly stated.
"Okay baby, where do you want to get married?
Nora's tears had fallen more freely as she looked at her husband now. A year ago, she never would have thought that this would even be a possibility again. Hell, even a few months ago, she wouldn't have believed it. Now she was looking in his eyes and she saw the same doubt she saw years ago…She had disappointed him then too.
"How can you eve think that…after everything we've been through…after all the pain…do you really think I would be here if I didn't love you?"
"That wasn't my question."
"What do you want from me Bo? Is anything I say going to be good enough?"
"I want the truth. I know that this isn't entirely your fault and I…I'm trying to help you but you haven't been honest with me…or even yourself. Can you just tell me the truth for once?"
"Is that what you think…do you think I'm just a lying slut…because if you do…if you do then maybe I should just save you the trouble and walk away now?"
"Is that what you want…Do you want out…because if you do then just say it…"
"No…God no…You want to know how I feel about John…If I love him…fine, I'll tell you…It was a mistake. It only happened because…because you were…God, this is harder then I thought…It's hard to say it out loud because when I felt that way… I felt like my whole world had ended…I thought you didn't love me anymore Bo…I thought you blamed me for our daughter's death…and since she was gone…and you wouldn't touch me…you wouldn't even look at me…the only thing I knew how to do in that moment was become the person I knew you hated…because getting negative attention from you was better then no attention at all…"
"Are you saying you did this on purpose?"
"No…I'm saying I wanted to make you notice me again…I didn't intend to have sex with John Bo…I didn't…I don't love him…not like I love you…but if you're asking me to feel nothing for him then I can't give you that because he was there when you weren't….I would be dead right now if he hadn't been there…"
"Do you think I'm not aware of all the ways I failed you…that if I had been a better husband then you wouldn't have had to go to him in the first place…"
"This isn't a competition okay. I know that we both suffered greatly and we both made mistakes we can't take back. But I can't be your wife if you are going to look at me in the same way you did the first time…I let you down Bo…once again, I let you down…but we have two choices…you can either accept that I never meant to hurt you…or you can walk away…I'm not going to be your punching bag this time…and I don't know what to do to make this easier. I know that when you look at me you see me in bed with him but I have that same problem Bo…because when I look at you…I see the man that betrayed me first. What am I supposed to do with that…How am I supposed to feel better about any of this when you can't even admit that you hurt me too?"
Jessica couldn't believe what Nash was telling her…he was alive…he was alive and he had lied to her all these years. She felt like she was going to be sick. How could the man who had given her two children be perfectly content to stand by and watch her grieve for him…watch her blame her sister…watch her lose their little girl…she knew it was for the best but she suddenly felt so much anger for him.
"Jessica," Nash said.
Tears rolled down her face as she looked at him.
"I loved you and you let me burry you…you let me grieve for a man that wasn't dead…how could you do that to me…It was because of you that I almost lost my sanity."
"I know…I know and I'm so sorry."
"You're sorry…You're sorry…you know what you can do with your apologies…you can give them to someone who cares…Because I don't…not…not anymore…"
"You don't mean that."
"I do mean it. I love Chris now…Oh God, Chris, please wake up," she cried. Nash watched as Jessica went to Chris's side and put her head on his chest, letting the tears come freely. It was then that he realized an awful truth…and in that moment, She was screaming for his help.
"Please help me…please, his heart stopped…please help me save the man I love…please."
Nash watched Jessica cry for Chris and his heart sunk. The life he had left behind was no longer his.
Kelly tells Joey that she wants to get married in the chapel so that they can be near if anything happens. Joey kisses her and they head off in the direction of the chapel. When they arrive at the chapel, they gasp…for there at the foot of the pew, they find Kevin. Kelly runs to Kevin's side…
"Joey, you need to get a doctor in here…He's not breathing. "
After Joey runs out of the room, Kelly tries to give him CPR. When it doesn't seem to be working tears run down her face.
"You can't die before I can tell you the truth. Please wake up Kevin. Please."