Hades hated whenever Demeter came to visit.
His sister was very outrageous, always trying to impose some sort of motherly dominance despite Hades being a thousand years older than her.
Demeter would complain about how her daughter married such a failure, and that spending half the year with Hades was far too long, Demeter would also bitch about how stupid it was for Persephone to be fooled into eating those damn pomegranate seeds.
So as you can imagine Hades wasn't looking forward to the next five months of his immortality, when he saw his sister shove her bags in his chest.
"Hades, my daughter and I will be taking the main bed-room." Demeter said as if she owned the place.
"But I have a perfectly acceptable guest room for you." Hades said.
"And it will be perfect for you, also I expect for you to make us dinner, with mortal food." Demeter said.
"You know I don't cook." Hades said.
"Hmm, you will tonight." Demeter said.
Hades`s eye began to develop an angry twitch while a vein started to stick out of his skull.
The furies flapped down to carry away Demeter and Persephone's luggage.
"Lord Hades, you should get that checked." Alecto said.
"Shut up Alecto!" Hades shouted.
Hades stormed into his throne room and slumped down on his throne.
Hades clamped his pale palm across his face in a vain attempt to nap.
"Dear, can I talk to you please?" Persephone asked.
"What?" Hades said not lifting his palm.
"I know you hate it when my mother visits, but please, try to get along with her." Persephone pleaded.
"Oh god, you know what annoys me the most? She really thinks that she`s my mother in-law, despite the fact that I used to change her damn diapers, and trust me they smelled like agricultural crap!" Hades ranted.
Persephone sighed and patted her husband's head lovingly before departing.
Hades lounged about on his throne for a good three hours before he heard his sister bustle her way into his throne room.
"Demeter tell me, when did it become acceptable for you to enter my throne room in such a manner?" Hades growled.
"Since you kidnapped my daughter, now put this on and cook us something." Demeter said.
Hades`s eyes grew to the size of his throne when he saw hat Demeter was holding up.
It was a frilly pink apron, with large sun-flowers and red words that spelled 'Mommy`s little angel', there was also an animated picture of Demeter babying Hades.
"Get that load of horse shit out of my SIGHT!" Hades bellowed.
Demeter clapped her hands and it appeared on Hades, tightly clasping itself around him. Hades body began to burn with black and white fire, it burned so hot the apron melted off, Hades grew and morphed into a lanky, pale, winged, horned version of himself.
"THIS IS THE LAST STREAW WENCH! GET OVER HERE I`M GONNA WHIP YOUR LITTLE ASS!" Hades yelled in his triple voice.
Demeter`s eyes widened and she fled, but not before she felt some chains clap around her ankles.
Demeter was helpless while Hades returned to normal and dragged his sister over his lap.
A large iron hair-brush appeared in his hand and he waved it menacingly over Demeter`s tush.
WHACK! "Ow damnit!" WHAP! WHAP! SMACK! SMACK! Demeter was now learning the meaning of the words, wrath of Hades.
Demeter tried to get up but to her surprise, Hades skinny yet muscular frame was enough to hold her down like a small child.
"Hades, ouch, let me go, Ow, you ass-owwww-hole!" Demeter said.
"Silence and take this!" Hades said. Hades brought his hair-brush down thirty more times before it shattered.
"Now Demeter, I expect you know why I did that." Hades said.
"It`s because you're an ass!" Demeter said.
Hades shook his head and burned off the bottom half of her dress. Her bottom was a dull gold (ichor ftw) and welted.
"Commando huh, I ever would've expected this from you, Hera maybe." Hades said.
Hades snapped his fingers and a long solid stick and a sharp leather belt appeared. Hades repositioned his sister over his lap and tapped her bottom with the cane.
TWACK! TWACK! TWACK! Hades used the cane to switch his sister`s back-side.
Demeter`s eyes wetted with tears and she bounced vainly on his lap trying to get her hands behind her, but to no avail as Hades was using his whipping switch to drive his point across. Hades put the switch down to exam the deep strokes he left on Demeter`s back-side.
"Now to end this." Hades said.
Hades made the belt appear and brought the leather down with a wild SLAP! Demeter squealed in pain and struggled on Hades lap as she was subjected to this humiliation. Within an hour, Hades reduced his sister to a helpless crying girl. When he was done, Demeter`s butt was welted with bright gold bruises and marks.
"Demeter, this was to teach you not too disrespect me in my own house, or anywhere, you are now and will forever be my little sister, not my in-law, do you understand me?" Hades said.
Demeter nodded as tears streamed down her face. Hades shifted Demeter in his lap and gave her a long hug.
"Okay, I guess we can go out to eat." Hades said, giving Demeter one lat pat on the behind.
Okay, who`s next?
Triton, Hera, Aphrodite or dare I say Zeus or Ares.