Ranma-chan, the Cat
Warning: this is the story of a girl, who turns into a catgirl, but not the kind that you think, but the… other ki-i-ind! The other ki-i-i-ind!
Caution: hugging cats can be bad for your health, believe me, I'm the Text.
You have been warned….
IIII I: Complications complicate
"Hey there, Ran-chan," Ukyo greeted as she joined Ranma and Akane on their way to school as they passed by her restaurant.
"Hi, Ucchan." Ranma smiled brightly. "So… how's the food business?"
Ukyo shrugged. "Not too bad, not too bad. Hey, Akane, why so glum?"
Akane looked up. "Oh, it's nothing… Just be careful, Ranma."
Ranma had her hands behind her head. "Don't you worry, this'll be easy."
"No, you don't understand…" Akane fidgeted. "Kuno… He's… he can be… tough…"
"Hey, I'm the best. Don't worry!" Ranma laughed.
Ukyo nodded. "I wouldn't worry, Akane. Ran-chan won't have a problem. Unless it rains, of course..."
Just as she said that, it started raining.
Ranma pulled out an umbrella from her knapsack just in time to avoid changing into a cat.
"That was close…" Ranma sighed in relief. "Hey, what are you two doing?!"
What Akane and Ukyo were doing was huddling with Ranma uncomfortably under the umbrella.
"Hey, I don't want to get wet," Akane mumbled.
"Me too, Ran-chan," Ukyo agreed.
"Well, I NEED it," Ranma argued. "If I get splashed now…"
"Hey, Ran-chan, why didn't you use one yesterday?" Ukyo asked.
Ranma sighed. "I had one. It's just… It wouldn't help too much yesterday…"
"That doesn't make any sense." Akane raised an eyebrow.
"Hey, do YOU want to drag home an umbrella as a cat?" Ranma growled. "It's not fun…"
"Hey sugar, how is it that you don't have an umbrella with you?" Ukyo asked of Akane. "I mean, you LIVE in Tokyo! Ran-chan and I at least just moved here…"
"Can't a girl just forget?" Akane mumbled. "Honestly!"
Ranma groaned as she saw her destination.
Tatewaki Kuno stood bravely in the rain. He was standing like a statue, sword thrust out, soaked, and not minding one bit.
'Pathetic. Most here are heading indoors. Yet a true warrior, one worthy of Akane Tendo, would stay out here!' Kuno thought to himself angrily. 'Hmm? What's this? The fierce tigress Akane Tendo walking under an umbrella with two boys? I WILL NOT ALLOW IT! And that SHORT ONE! HE WILL PAY!'
Lightning struck across the sky, illuminating his features.
Akane looked left and right as the umbrella trio made it into the courtyard of school. "Huh, would you look at that. No boys… Well, I'm heading in then. Good luck with Kuno."
"Yeah, yeah…" Ranma sighed.
Akane made a wide berth around Kuno just to be safe.
"You'll do fine, Ran-chan…" Ukyo reassured her friend before dashing into the school.
Ranma took a deep breath and marched towards Kuno.
"SHORT ONE! YOU WILL PAY DEARLY!" Kuno yelled as he gripped his bokken tighter. "TO DARE SHARE AN UMBRELLA WITH AKANE TENDO! YOU'RE DISPICABLE!"
"KUNO!" Ranma sneered. "SHUT UP AND FIGHT ME!"
"THAT! I! SHALL!" Kuno pronounced right before leaping at Ranma.
The pigtailed girl was honestly surprised at Kuno's speed.
She still dodged it, however.
The wall behind her, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky, as Kuno stabbed it with his bokken. Somehow, despite being wooden, the sword went through the wall easily.
'Where did he go!?' Kuno questioned internally before pulling his bokken out of the wall. 'That… COWARD!'
"Hey, behind ya!" Ranma announced arrogantly.
It was a good enough warning for Kuno as he attacked immediately.
The fast uppercutting action missed Ranma, who was now across the courtyard.
Kuno smirked. "What, the short one is afraid to get wet?"
Veins popped on Ranma's head, but she stayed quiet.
"I see…" Kuno leveled his bokken. "Prepare to get wet! STRIKESTRIKESTRIKESTRIKE-STRIKE!"
Kuno then struck out with his bokken again and again in quick succession.
A wave of air pressure came towards Ranma, surprising her.
'Oh, SHOOT!' Ranma's thoughts went wild as she saw water dripping in front of her face.
Her umbrella now full of holes, Ranma decided to end it fast.
Kuno's eyes widened as Ranma disappeared.
*WHAM* Ranma's heel hit Kuno in the back of his head, bringing him down.
*SPLUURT* The tip of Ranma's holey umbrella hit Kuno under his chin, rendering him unconscious.
Ranma, now underneath Kuno, sighed in relief as she used his prone body as a shield against the rain and made it inside, still human.
"Hehe…" Ranma threw the umbrella along with Kuno to the ground. "Made it."
A tiny red cat nyaned in annoyance at being hit with a bucket of water that fell from atop a nearby shoe locker.
Ranma sighed as she held buckets of water in the hallway outside of class. 'Stupid Kuno…'
The silence in the hall bored Ranma easily.
After a while she put the buckets down, not because they were heavy but because she was bored…
Ranma glared at the water.
… Or it could simply have been that getting splashed would be a very bad idea.
'Stupid bucket…' Ranma balled her left fist. "I was so close! ARRG! This day can't get any worse."
Unfortunately, Ranma, due to living on the road all her life, didn't watch nearly enough TV to know to not say that.
"SHORT ONE!" Kuno's yell echoed through the hall.
Ranma's veins popped on her head. "Kuno…"
Suddenly, the windows to the class popped open and about a dozen students yelled and chanted for a fight. Others gushed in remembrance of the last fight that took place half an hour earlier.
"Kuno, let me get this through your giant head…" Ranma sneered. "My name is Ranma Saotome. If you make ONE more jab about my height, I WILL beat you to a PULP!"
"OOoOoOOoOo…" the students chorused.
A boy rolled his eyes. "Jeez, Napoleon complex much?"
*KICK* went the bucket, hitting the boy in he head.
"YOU dare threaten ME?!" Kuno laughed.
Ranma growled. "Hey, I just kicked your sorry ass less than an hour ago!"
Kuno laughed harder. "Such ego to dream up something as inconceivable as that…"
"HEY! NO FIGHTING IN THE HALL!" the teacher yelled.
"You heard the man. Get lost, moron." Ranma pointed her thumb towards the window.
"You WILL address me as UPERCLASSMAN!" Kuno demanded, pointing his bokken at Ranma.
"Hell no!" Ranma pushed Kuno's bokken away. "Point that thing at someone else. And carrying around a wooden katana? Are YOU overcompensating for something?"
Silence echoed in the hall… somehow…
"Whoa…" a boy who was not wet with water whistled. "Damn, no one ever insulted Kuno's pe-"
"SILENCE!" Kuno cut him off before glaring at Ranma. "YOU… SHALL… DIE!"
"Bring it on…" Ranma smirked.
"NOT IN THE HALL!" the teacher yelled again.
Ranma used that distraction to kick the other bucket, causing it to hit Kuno in the head. "NYEH!"
With a pull down of the eyelid, Ranma ran down the hall laughing.
"RANMA SAOTOME!" Kuno screamed as he chased the short girl down. "YOU WILL MEET YOUR DOOM!"
The windows shattered, causing the rain to pour into the building.
Ukyo smiled as she walked out of class. "This'll be fun…."
Ranma skidded to a stop right by the front door. 'Shoot, it's still raining…'
"SAOTOME!" Kuno rounded the last corner and saw Ranma, his fury more furious than before.
'Uh oh…' Ranma was trapped and she knew it.
*Crack-k-k-k* went Ranma's knuckles.
'But I like a challenge…' Ranma smirked. "Come and get me!"
Kuno needed no one to tell him to do so, as he was already halfway to Ranma as she said that.
'Right about…' Ranma held her position.
"DIE!" Kuno lashed out with his wooden katana, aiming for Ranma's head.
"NOW!" Ranma shouted to herself and attacked.
Akane and Ukyo, who were the fastest of the students who weren't fighting at the moment, made it just in time to see Ranma sweep her foot up…
… And see Kuno fall down, out of commission.
Akane blinked in surprise. "That… that was…"
Ranma scratched her head. "Didn't expect THAT…"
The pigtailed girl's jaw dropped.
Ukyo looked past them and shook her head. "The rain, it stopped."
"Typical," Akane murmured.
"Hey! Kuno's out!" a boy shouted as he came to the scene.
"Holy cow! He is!" another gasped in amazement.
Silence swept over the crowd, causing Ranma to rub the back of her head nervously.
"Let's draw on him!" the crowd shouted with glee as they swarmed the downed kendoist.
Akane, Ukyo, and Ranma sweatdropped in unison.
It was lunch time at Furinkan. With the weather outside being unpredictable, the students were eating inside.
"Comwe onw, Akawne…" Ranma swallowed her food. "Try it! Ucchan's okonomiyaki is the best!"
Akane sighed. "It's not that I don't trust you, but then I'd have more food than I could eat for lunch…"
Ranma tilted her head sideways a bit. "Huh?"
"Hey Akane," Yuka greeted and turned to Ranma. "Hello there, my name is Yuka. Pleased to meet you!"
Sayuri nearly giggled. "Hi! I'm Sayuri!"
Ranma smiled. "Why, hello there. Ranma Saotome at your service. Could I interest either of you ladies some okonomiyaki? It's made by the best okonomiyaki chef ever!"
Akane blinked in surprise.
"From Ukyo Kuonji?" Yuka gushed. "I'd… I'd be honored!"
"Alright." Ranma smiled and walked over to Ukyo. "Hey Ucchan… more, please!"
Once Ranma was out of sight, Yuka cried. "Wha! She even calls him Ucchan! I'll never have a chance now!"
"There, there." Sayuri hugged Yuka. "Akane, I still can't believe that Ranma is…"
Akane sighed. "Yeah, I know… But trust me, I looked."
A lightbulb went on over Yuka's head. 'That's it! If I can get Ranma to go out with Akane…'
"Here you go, Yuka. Enjoy!" Ranma smiled brightly as she reached the girls and handed Yuka the food.
Yuka took it eagerly. "Thank you…"
Ranma raised an eyebrow as Yuka stood there, mouth opening and closing, as if she were trying to say something. 'Ack! I'm too embarrassed! Ranma looks… Come on, he's hot! She, SHE! Stupid hormones!'
"Alright…" Ranma looked over to Sayuri, readjusting her focus. "You want anything?"
Sayuri shook her head. "No, I'm good…"
Ranma shrugged. "Suit yourself."
"Last call!" Ukyo shouted.
Ranma smiled and zoomed off.
"Akane, could we… um, get together at your place?" Yuka asked, trying not to look directly at her friend.
"Huh? Sure." Akane nodded. "When?"
"Um… Today?" Yuka laughed nervously.
"That's fine by me," Akane answered.
Sayuri bit her lip. "Yuka, are you alright?"
"I'm fine! Fine…" Yuka lied. "You are coming, right?"
Sayuri nodded enthusiastically.
"And… Akane…" Yuka twilled her thumbs. "Could Ranma be there too?"
Akane looked around the room and then whispered into her friends' ears.
"WHAT?!" Sayuri exclaimed.
The room seemed to look at her.
"Um…" Sayuri pointed out the window. "Rain…"
Luckily for Sayuri, it was raining again.
People shrugged and went back to their business: lunch.
'This is perfect!' Yuka thought. 'With Ranma living at Akane's place, it'll be easier to hook them up!'
"Hello there, Akane…" Ukyo greeted as she walked up to the group. "So, who're your friends?"
Yuka's eyes turned into stars. "I'm I… I'M YUKA! Ukyo Kuonji, thank you for the delicious food!"
Ukyo sweatdropped as Yuka bowed dramatically.
"My name is Sayuri," Sayuri answered. "Come on, Yuka, we need to do that thing… Yeah…"
Sayuri dragged Yuka away.
"Before you ask, I have NO idea what's going on." Akane rubbed her temples. "Honestly…."
"Well, look what the cat dragged in," Nabiki commented as Kuno slowly walked into his classroom for lunch, body bandaged heavily.
"Shut thy face, Nabiki Tendo…" Kuno spouted as he sat down.
Nabiki smirked. "Akane got you good then, eh?"
Kuno looked away.
"OR… was it Ranma-" Nabiki was cut off by Kuno.
"SILENCE!" Kuno yelled sternly. "That fiend…"
Nabiki looked bored. "Wanna know about Saotome, Kuno-baby?"
"…" Kuno inwardly groaned. "How much?"
Nabiki polished her fingernails. "10,000 all in advance."
"10,000!" Kuno sneered. "For that much I could…"
He trailed off, contemplating the decision.
Nabiki stuck out her hand.
The kendoist's face dropped and he pulled out the money. "This had better be worth it, Nabiki Tendo."
"Yeah, sure, whatever." Nabiki pocketed the money. "Ranma's living with us."
"WHAT!?" Kuno exploded. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"
The students in the class groaned and put on earplugs.
Nabiki rested her chin on her hand. "Ranma lives with us. Gets along pretty well with Akane…"
Kuno was getting redder and redder with anger after every word.
Nabiki smirked. "They even shared a bath together…"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kuno leapt from his seat and raced out of the classroom in a fury.
Nabiki shrugged and counted her money.
*Riiiiiiinnng!* went the bell.
"Alright, class, get in your seats…" the teacher ordered. "Now, would-"
Suddenly, a pissed off Kuno tore the door open. "AHHHHHHHHHH!"
The students covered their ears.
Ranma's eyes widened as Kuno made a beeline for her, still screaming in rage.
*WHAMO* Kuno was hit on the back of the head and fell down to the ground unconscious.
Everyone who was awake looked to see Ukyo holding her giant spatula.
"What? He's been annoying me since I got here! Crazy jackass!" Ukyo hit Kuno again for emphasis.
Soon, everyone joined in except the teacher, who pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.
Nodoka took a sip of her tea as she sat at the table with Kasumi. "Thank you, Kasumi."
"You are welcome." Kasumi smiled and took a sip of her own tea. "The girls should be coming home soon."
Nodoka nodded. "Our time of peace will end then."
Kasumi giggled. "Oh well…"
Nodoka smiled despite herself, but it soon turned into a frown. "Kasumi… I am worried about my daughter…"
"Oh my." Kasumi had a hand to her mouth. "Why do you think so? Surely she could beat up any… unruly… aggressive… um… boys… who want to… do that thing… with her against her will…"
Nodoka shook her head as Kasumi blushed fiercely. "No… not that. I have no worries of Ranma defending herself. I worry about her future though. Not to mention the damage my husband inflicted upon her."
"Oh, I see." Kasumi took another sip of her tea. "How good it is to have a mother who cares for her daughter…"
Nodoka turned towards Kasumi. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No. No, I am fine," Kasumi reassured Nodoka and looked upwards. "While I miss my mother, I have moved on. I am at peace with it."
Nodoka looked at her tea. "I see…"
Kasumi turned towards Nodoka. "What is it about Ranma's future that scares you?"
Nodoka sighed. "She's being very… tomboyish…"
"Oh…" Kasumi nodded in understanding. "I wouldn't worry too much, but I see what you mean. With the way Akane acts, it feels like I have a brother at times. But it has gotten less so ever since she developed a crush with an older man…"
Nodoka raised an eyebrow. "Interesting…"
Kasumi giggled. "Falling in love has gotten her to try to be more feminine. Love seems to do that."
"Hmmm…" Nodoka rubbed her chin in thought. "Indeed…"
"Hi! We're home!" Akane called out as she entered the house. "And I brought friends from school!"
Kasumi smiled and went to meet them.
"Interesting." Nodoka finished her tea. "Very interesting…."
Meanwhile, at Okonomiyaki Ucchan's…
"So… do you want to eat before or after you change back?" Ukyo asked her cat friend, who was currently behind the counter.
"Nya…" Ranma, who was currently a cute red cat, shook her head.
"Then I'll make yours later." Ukyo stretched. "Now, excuse me, but I have money to make."
"Nyan nya nyaaa!" Ranma spoke up.
"Really?" Ukyo raised an eyebrow. "Well, I really need someone to attract customers…"
The cat that was Ranma gagged.
"Yeah, I thought so," Ukyo sighed. "Maybe Akane can do it…"
Ranma started pacing. "Nya… nyan nya nyaa…"
"Worried you'll be recognized?" Ukyo rubbed her chin. "That IS a problem, I'll admit…"
"Nyan nya… nYAnn…" Ranma looked away.
"That COULD work…" Ukyo mused. "Are you sure you want to?"
"Nyan nyaaa…" Ranma twiddled her paws.
Ukyo sighed. "I can't argue with that…"
Ukyo picked up the kettle from the stove.
"Alright, it's good enough. I think." Ukyo frowned. "Go on, I'm wasting time!"
Ranma took the kettle in her mouth and ran up the stairs.
Ukyo shook her head and flipped the sign to 'open.'
Ranma frowned in front of her best friend's bathroom mirror in the apartment above Ukyo's restaurant. Ranma's hair was magically green. 'I don't know, I still recognize it as me.'
Pulling out another colored comb from her bag, Ranma tried again.
'Well, red is my real hair color anyway… Sort of,' Ranma mused.
Sighing, Ranma changed her hair color back to black. "Maybe if I wore a costume?"
With a shrug, she went back down to the restaurant.
"Here's your double pork." Ukyo smiled and gave the customer his food.
"Thanks." The customer paid for the food. "So, I just go out and take a left?"
Ukyo nodded. "And you'll hit it."
The customer took a deep breath and left the restaurant.
Literally right after that, Ranma came down the stairs. "I'm ready for food!"
"Thought so." Ukyo shook her head. "So, what took you so long?"
Ranma rubbed the back of her head, embarrassed. "Just seeing if I could recognize myself with different hair… And yeah, I can…"
"Uh huh…" Ukyo flipped the okonomiyaki.
"It's true!" Ranma looked around. "Where are the customers?"
"I've had three so far, but they didn't stay to eat." Ukyo shrugged. "You have got to show me what green or purple hair looks like…"
"Well…" Ranma pulled her pigtail. "I'll do it later, when you aren't busy."
Ukyo smirked. "Good enough. Now here, eat."
"Thank you!" Ranma grinned and dug in.
"Here we are, Saotome!" Soun nearly wept. "Across this sea, we will finally get what we need!"
[Hurry up and get in the boat!] Genma threw the sign at Soun, who was standing on the dock while Genma was on the boat already.
"Oh, right…" Soun laughed nervously and jumped on board.
[Still better than swimming across.] Genma pulled out a sign.
"I agree, Saotome…" Soun sighed. "I remember… far too well…"
"Grufff gurf," Genma sputtered out in disgust.
Soun shivered. "That was the worst part. To put it into writing would be unbearable…"
[I'll say.] Genma flopped on his side. [It's a good thing that you can understand me.]
"Yes. Yes, it is." Soun nodded slowly. "But let's not talk about… that… thing…"
[Agreed.] Genma nodded.
The boat then left the dock, headed for China.
In Akane's room, three girls talk.
"So Ranma sleeps with… her… mother down the hall?" Yuka asked.
Akane nodded. "Yep."
Sayuri looked around, trying not to make eye contact with Akane. "With Ranma and her mom living here… and Nabiki going to school too… do you have to share baths?"
"It helps…" Akane shrugged. "So, why did you want to come over?"
"Sleepover!" Yuka blurted. 'So that I can make you and Ranma kiss…'
Akane blinked. "Huh… Well, that actually sounds like a good idea…"
"What do you mean by that?" Yuka whined.
Sayuri patted Yuka on the head. "There, there…"
"Ranma…" Akane sighed, "hasn't had much of a chance to be a girl. You know, with going to school as a boy and all…"
"Abut that…" Sayuri scratched her head. "WHY does she do that, anyway?"
Akane sighed. "It's complicated."
"Hey Akane, Kasumi wants to know if Yuka and Sayuri are staying over," Nabiki informed from the other side of the door. "And you have a love letter from Kuno."
"Yes, we're staying!" Yuka answered.
Akane walked over to the door and opened it.
"A hundred yen and I'll dispose of it." Nabiki smirked.
"If I pay you double, will you get him to leave me alone?" Akane asked, hopeful.
"100 thousand and yes." Nabiki crossed her arms.
Akane sighed. "That bad?"
"Maybe if you say you're a lesbian?" Sayuri suggested.
"Like that'll work." Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Now, if you SHOWED it, on the other hand…"
Akane's face grew red. "Nabiki!"
"Just a suggestion." Her sister shrugged. "Maybe you can practice tonight at your sleepover?"
Sayuri and Yuka nodded enthusiastically in agreement.
Akane stuttered in embarrassment. "Nabiki… not like… Lesbian!"
Nabiki laughed and walked off. "Don't knock it 'til you try it…"
Akane slammed the door. "Honestly!"
Ranma casually entered the Tendo property, hands behind her head.
"Hello! I'm here!" Ranma laughed to herself as she came in.
"Good evening, Ranma." Kasumi smiled.
"You too, Kasumi." Ranma replied.
Nodoka frowned slightly as Ranma saw her. "Daughter… we need to talk."
Ranma gulped. "Um… sure…"
Mother and daughter sat across from each other.
Ranma took in a deep breath. "So… what is this about?"
"Daughter, I am… concerned…" Nodoka stated.
Ranma raised an eyebrow. "About?"
"Your future…" Nodoka looked right into Ranma's eyes. "More specifically, your future as the young lady I hope for you to be."
Ranma shivered. "Uh… huh…"
"While I understand the restrictions that you face in school due to your father's… guidance… I am worried that you aren't getting the knowledge and necessities that a girl your age needs." Nodoka paused. "This is not your fault, but we do need to correct it."
Ranma bit her lip.
"Fortunately, you have all of us in this house to help." Nodoka closed her eyes. "Akane is having a sleepover with a couple of her friends in her room and they want you to join them."
Ranma sighed in relief. "Yeah, I can do that."
Nodoka smiled. "Thank you for your cooperation. Starting tonight, I want you to help with cooking for this house. Kasumi shouldn't do so by herself."
"That's… reasonable…" Ranma relaxed some.
"Daughter, what sorts of clothes do you have?" Nodoka asked.
Ranma started sweating nervously. "Well, um… not much… Road traveling and all, you know… But I do have a Chinese dress…"
Nodoka frowned. "Tomorrow, you and I will go shopping."
Ranma bowed her head. "Yes, Mom…"
"Good, now go upstairs and introduce yourself." Nodoka smiled.
Ranma nodded and climbed up the stairs.
The pigtailed girl was about to knock on Akane's door when she heard a familiar voice.
"Think about it, Akane," Sayuri tried to reason with her friend. "Kuno won't stop harassing you if he thinks he has a chance! If you go out with a guy, he'll just be beaten up. And then Kuno's ego will be boosted more… But if you show that you're a lesbian…"
Akane shook her head, face deep red.
Yuka sighed. "He can't compete with a girl, not to mention that thinking he was the cause of it would drive him crazy!"
Akane buried her face in her hands.
Sayuri shrugged. "Besides, we're having a sleepover. It's the perfect time to do it."
'Girls kiss each other at these things?' Ranma smiled. 'But wait… I'll have to explain that I'm a girl…'
Ranma pursed her lips.
Akane mumbled some words. "Can't you at least get me drunk first?"
"Great idea!" Yuka giggled. "Just be sure the room is secure first. You know that boys would try to spy on these things…"
"No, wait!" Akane spoke up, but was ignored. "I didn't…"
"Alright, I'll bring some sake when we come back with our sleeping clothes!" Sayuri declared. "See you soon!"
"No, STOP!" Akane called out.
Ranma's eyes widened and she zipped to the room she shared with her mom.
Yuka and Sayuri left Akane's room, smiling and giggling.
Soon, they left and were walking towards their homes.
Ranma left the guest room and walked back over to Akane's.
"Who's there?" Akane asked, quietly.
"A pigtailed girl," Ranma answered. 'Wow, Akane sounds sad…'
Akane managed to smile. "Come in."
Ranma opened the door and smirked. "Hey there, how ya doin'?"
Akane sighed. "Been better…"
Ranma nodded. "I see… Anyway, Mom said that there's gonna be a sleepover here?"
Akane's face got red. "Yeah…"
"Uh huh…" Ranma closed the door and put her hands behind her head. "She said that you wanted me to be here. But how am I going to explain that to your friends?"
Akane sighed. "They know you're a girl, Ranma."
"…" Ranma patted her body and looked at it the best she could. "Wow, they're good…"
Akane giggled. "No, no… I told them…"
Ranma's eyes widened. "WHAT!?"
"I had to!" Akane defended. "They were… saying things…"
"Like?" Ranma raised an eyebrow.
Akane sighed. "After you got your uniforms… well… they were asking if you were my boyfriend, or maybe Ukyo… And I tried to explain that it wasn't what it looked like…"
Ranma facepalmed. "Akane…"
"They don't know about Ukyo though…" Akane gripped the sides of her head. "They kept bugging me about getting a boyfriend and saying that I'm a lesbian."
Ranma blinked. "Well, are you?"
"NO!" Akane yelped, blushing.
'Darn.' Ranma shrugged. "Then you're not. Why do they think so anyway?"
Akane sighed. "I don't know. It could be because I don't find boys attractive or appealing…"
'Interesting…' Ranma raised an eyebrow. "I see…"
"It's just… I like maturity, you know?" Akane tried to explain. "Like… a man."
'Damn it!' Ranma frowned. "Oh, I see…"
Akane put her hands on her cheeks. "What am I going to do?"
"Um… find a man?" Ranma answered.
"But what if he likes someone else?" Akane asked sadly.
"Then, um… So, are you against lesbians or…?" Ranma scratched her head.
"I'm not a lesbian!" Akane denied. "Just… just because I haven't found a man to be with doesn't mean I'm a lesbian!"
"I didn't say you were." Ranma smirked.
Akane blushed. "Oh, shut up…"
Ranma couldn't help but laugh at that.
Yuka and Sayuri were doomed. After going home and coming back with sake, the two girls were now face to face with Kasumi Tendo.
"Um…" Yuka gulped. "I…"
Kasumi Tendo frowned.
"I… I…" Sayuri started crying.
"Oh my…" Kasumi shook her head. "Bringing alcohol in this house? How… disappointing…"
Sayuri and Yuka fell to the floor and did the only martial arts move of their life.
"WE'RE SORRY! WE'RE SORRY!" they chorused as the two unknowingly performed the Crouch of the Wild Tiger.
Somewhere on a boat on the way to China, Genma sneezed.
Kasumi took the sake and walked away.
"This is all your fault, Sayuri," Yuka mumbled.
Sayuri sniffled. "Those eyes… Those eyes…"
"Eh, you'll get over it," Nabiki commented. "Or is it the other way around and you never get over it?"
Sayuri trembled. "She's scary…"
"Whatever…" Nabiki took a potato chip and ate it. "Hey sis, lemme have that…"
"Nabiki's crazy," Yuka commented.
Sayuri and Yuka eventually got to Akane's room. That was when they noticed something odd.
"Um… Akane… why are the windows boarded up?" Yuka asked.
Akane sweatdropped. "You said to make sure that the room is secure…"
Yuka looked away. "Um… good job."
"Yeah, now… uh, we can get into our sleepwear!" Sayuri smiled.
"We didn't eat dinner yet," Akane deadpanned.
Sayuri blushed. "Oh yeah…"
Akane smirked knowingly and opened the door.
"Ladies…" Ranma smiled in a way that her teeth shined as she leaned against the frame casually.
Bishie sparkles seemed to surround her as her pigtail fluttered in the non-existing wind.
At least that's what it looked like to Yuka.
'SHE LOOKS EVEN MORE LIKE A GUY, DAMMIT!' Yuka thought, blushing madly.
"Dinner is ready." Ranma held out her hand. "Would any of you girls like an escort down the stairs?"
*Thud* Yuka fainted.
'Ha! Man, I'm good!' Ranma laughed internally. "I'll take care of her."
Sayuri's eye twitched.
Ranma took Yuka downstairs, carrying her fireman style.
"You're sure she's a she?" Sayuri asked Akane.
Akane burst out laughing.
Seven females sat around the table, eating dinner. Although it looked more like six females and one teenaged boy…
"Daughter, please sit like a lady," Nodoka requested of Ranma.
Ranma did so with great reluctance and discomfort. "But it feels funny…"
Nabiki rolled her eyes. "You know, it's a real taco fiesta in here…"
Giant question marks appeared over five of the other people, their looks all blank.
Ranma snorted, however.
"I don't get it…" Yuka mumbled.
Kasumi sighed, looking out at the darkening sky. "I wish I could go to a fiesta…"
THAT got everyone to look at her oddly.
Nodoka closed her eyes. "Anyway, this sleepover you girls are having… be sure to help my daughter out in learning what it means to be a girl. But most importantly, enjoy yourselves. I remember when I did such things…"
"I'll be sure of that, Auntie." Akane's face took on a look of determination. "Akane Tendo will not fail!"
Four sixteen-year-old girls were in Akane's bedroom. Three of them wore bedclothes.
Akane's were yellow with a full top and bottom, a bit big, with swirly designs.
Yuka wore a pink nightgown that was a bit revealing, since it didn't have a bottom.
And Sayuri had a black cat costume that was somehow sleepwear.
The last girl had on a white tanktop with yellow and blue boxer shorts.
"WOW!" Sayuri exclaimed. "How… how did you keep THOSE hidden?!"
Ranma shrugged, eyes closed. "I'm just that awesome."
"Uh huh…" Yuka raised an eyebrow. "Anyway… GAME TIME!"
Everyone got superdeformed chibi like and clapped. A faint, but enthusiastic yay was heard... from somewhere…
"First! Old maid!" Yuka shouted with glee as she went through her bag.
Ranma's face fell. 'Oh man!'
"That sounds like fun," Akane commented. "So, how exactly are we doing this?"
"STRIP Old Maid!" Sayuri blurted.
The other three girls turned to her.
A pause that was pregnant happened to happen.
"I'm up for that," Ranma broke the silence. 'Gotta stay focused.'
"Um, SURE!" Yuka seconded. 'Maybe being naked will get Akane and Ranma together… somehow…'
"Um…" Akane bit her lip. "S-s-sure…"
"So, two by two or is this a four-way?" Ranma asked, still not looking at Sayuri.
Yuka rubbed her chin. "Two by two…"
"Yuka and I!" Sayuri said quickly. "And Akane and Ranma."
'Yes! Sayuri is helping me! This is great!' Yuka thought. "Alright, let's do it!"
Ranma turned to face Akane. "You're going DOWN!"
"Nuh uh!" Akane smiled. "Ranma Saotome, I challenge you!"
'Excellent…' Yuka handed them a deck of cards. "Since we're all wearing a different number of things, it's all or nothing! You lose, you're nude!"
Ranma sat on the floor, one card in her hand… the joker.
'DAMMIT!' Ranma facefaulted.
Akane sighed in relief. "There, I beat you, Ranma! Yes!"
Ranma groaned. "Fine, fine…"
The pigtailed girl took off her clothes and placed them in her bag.
"She IS a girl…." Sayuri stated the obvious in awe.
Ranma facefaulted yet again.
"Yes, you're right…" Yuka nodded, finger under her lip.
Akane facepalmed. "Honestly…"
"Aw, man!" Yuka whined as she lost. "It's not fair…"
Sayuri smiled, hands folded under her cat chin. "Do it. You made this condition…"
Yuka grumbled and got nude. "Happy?"
Ranma and Sayuri nodded.
Akane just shook her head. "Alright, Sayuri. I guess it's you against me now."
Ranma did her best not to look at Sayuri.
"This is so weird…" Yuka mumbled. "Want some juice, Ranma?"
The pigtailed girl shrugged. "Sure."
Yuka bent over and rummaged through her belongings.
"I win!" Akane declared happily. "I won!"
'Darn.' Yuka frowned. 'Maybe the next game…'
Sayuri got out of her costume and sat uneasily.
Yuka still rummaged through her stuff. "Hey Akane, want some lemonade for your win?"
"Sure." Akane smiled.
Yuka gave her a glass bottle of lemonade.
"Where did you get this?" Akane asked.
"At a foreign goods store…" Yuka answered. "I think it had some guy's name on the label… But it's in English, so I don't know for sure…"
Akane shrugged and started drinking it.
"Well, I'm actually starting to feel feminine now." Ranma sweatdropped as she, Yuka, and Sayuri were in a corner of Akane's room. "Who puts alcohol in lemonade!?"
Akane was swinging around in circles, an almost empty bottle in hand. "Hehehehehe… Naked girls… Yay!"
"I didn't do it!" Yuka stressed. "SHE opened the bottle!"
Ranma rubbed a giant bump on her head. "The bottle cap should have been a clue…"
"So… what do we do?" Sayuri asked, hiding behind the other two. "If she was able to do that to Ranma…"
Ranma growled. "I WON'T LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN!"
With that, the pigtailed girl blitzed Akane…
… Only to be punched in the face by Akane and go flying hard into the wall.
"Got any OTHER bright ideas?" Yuka rolled her eyes. "Stupidity is doing the same thing twice and expecting different results, you know."
"Shuddup," Ranma slurred as she got up off the floor.
"We party!" Akane giggled. "Best friends! Whoo!"
"Akane, please, put the bottle down." Sayuri tried to get control of the situation from behind Yuka. "We need you to…"
Ranma jumped Akane then.
*CRASH* Akane responded by knocking Ranma through the boarded-up window.
"GET DOWN!" Yuka pushed Sayuri to the floor. "This is bad, this is bad, this is bad-bad-bad!"
"Whee! A bed!" Akane jumped on her bed. "SoOoo soft…"
"This is so embarrassing!" Sayuri trembled. "We're right next to the light switch. Should we turn it off?"
"I think we should just bolt for it," Yuka suggested.
"But… but we're naked!" Sayuri blushed.
Yuka tiptoed towards the door. "Better embarrassed than DEAD!"
"Mmmm… Soft… So soft…" Akane squeezed a pillow. "Boing…"
Sayuri sighed. "Fine, but this is your fault."
Yuka opened the door and went through it, followed by Sayuri.
"Whew." Yuka closed the door. "Close call."
*FLASH* A bright light shone upon the two girls.
Nabiki stood holding a camera, a smug look on her face. "Well, well, well… Nice party. Smile for the camera."
A few more photos were taken.
"N-Nabiki!" Sayuri covered herself.
"Oh no…" Yuka fell to the floor, tears falling down her cheeks. "Why?"
Nabiki shrugged. "I like being prepared for everything. I might need these someday."
The middle Tendo entered her room and closed the door.
"I'll never get married now!" Yuka collapsed.
Sayuri tried her best to reassure her friend that things would get better, while not believing it herself.
"Things couldn't possibly get any worse!" Yuka cried.
"It's getting rather loud up there…" Nodoka noted.
Kasumi nodded. "More tea, Auntie?"
"Yes, thank you, Kasumi," Nodoka sighed blissfully.
"Nyrall…" a red cat shook itself dry and walked into the house.
"Oh my…" Kasumi bent down. "Are you alright, Ranma-kitty?"
Nodoka couldn't resist smiling. "Daughter, why are you here?"
Ranma rolled her eyes and muttered a few things.
Nodoka looked towards Kasumi.
"I don't know either. I don't speak cat, I'm afraid." Kasumi shrugged.
Ranma sighed and climbed up the stairs.
Yuka was crying into Sayuri's shoulder when the naked girls head something walk up the stairs.
"Nya…" the red cat muttered as it walked past them and opened the door before strutting in.
Yuka and Sayuri's eyes widened.
"I didn't know cats could do that…" Yuka muttered. "Did you?"
Sayuri shook her head.
*FLASH* Nabiki smirked and closed her door again.
Yuka raised her eyebrow and looked at herself. "Now she's just rubbing it in. What difference does this… Ooh… OH SHOOT!"
Yuka let go of Sayuri and faced away from her, hands in her lap.
Sayuri blinked rapidly. "Huh… What?"
"Great, now I'll also be thought of as a lesbian slut!" Yuka cried. "And it's all my fault! Sorry, Sayuri… I'm SORRY! Go ahead and hit me…"
"Huh?" Sayuri went chibi, eyes blank in confusion.
Ranma jumped onto Akane's bed. "Nyan…"
"Here, kitty, kitty…" Akane slurred. "Have a little 'nade with Tendo Akane."
The cat rolled her eyes and grabbed the bottle from Akane.
"Come on now, be a nice pussy cat. Hehehe…" Akane laughed drunkenly.
Ranma hit Akane over the head with the bottle, knocking her out.
"Nyrall…" Ranma yawned and climbed across Akane before crawling between her breasts, intending on having a catnap.
Some time later, Yuka peers into the room carefully.
"Yuka?" Sayuri asks.
Yuka wipes away tears that were running down her cheeks. "She's asleep. Come on, let's get dressed."
Yuka and Sayuri dashed in and closed the door before proceeding to get dressed.
"I wonder where Ranma went…" Sayuri noted.
"Good question." Yuka looked out of the hole of a window. "I don't see her out there…"
Sayuri's eyes went wide. "You… you don't think…"
Yuka quivered. "She's strong… But if Akane knocked her out…"
Sayuri hugged herself. "I'm scared, Yuka…"
"Quick, grab that board!" Yuka ordered. "Once we secure Akane's room, we have to go look for Ranma. Hopefully she's just downstairs resting."
Sayuri nodded and grabbed the board.
Yuka hammered in the nails…
"OW!" Yuka sucked her thumb.
… And her thumb.
"I think that did it " Sayuri sighed in relief.
"Nya!" Ranma complained from between Akane's breasts.
Yuka and Sayuri looked around the room.
"Did… did I just hear a cat?" Sayuri asked.
Yuka shrugged. "I heard it too…"
"Ohh… My head…" Akane moaned.
"AH!" Yuka jumped behind Sayuri.
"AH!" Sayuri moved behind Yuka.
Yuka pushed Sayuri into a corner.
"Nya…" Ranma popped her head out from between Akane's breasts.
"Oh… Hi there…" Akane gripped her head. "Ow…"
"A-A-Akane…" Sayuri gulped. "Are you alright?"
"Huh?" Akane got out of bed. "What do you-ooOh…"
Akane stumbled to the door, but was able to grab the frame.
"What happened? Why are there four of you…" Akane looked down. "Ranma, what happened?"
Ranma licked Akane's cheek and smiled like the cat she was. "Nyaa…"
The three girls' eyes widened.
Akane looked to see Yuka and Sayuri cowering in the corner, eyes wet.
Ranma brushed up against Akane's neck. "Nyrawwll…"
Akane's eye twitched. 'I… Did I just? Ranma? CAT?!'
"Akane? Are you alright? You were… not yourself earlier…" Yuka muttered nervously.
'OH NO! I DID!' Akane turned as white as a ghost. "I-I'm going to take a bath now… I'm a bit wet…"
With that, Akane took a few steps out of her room before running downstairs.
"Akane! Wait!" Yuka shouted before chasing her, Sayuri following.
"Kasumi…" Nodoka's face was filled with worry. "Do girls normally behave this… boldly nowadays?"
Kasumi tilted her head. "Whatever do you mean?"
Nodoka looked into her tea. "They are very… rowdy… at this sleepover."
"Oh yes. Yes, they are." Kasumi looked worried. "They couldn't have gotten the sake, could they?"
"Perhaps…" Nodoka took a sip to calm her nerves.
"Maybe it would be best to go check." Kasumi got up. "Nabiki tried to get it earlier…"
"Hmm…" Nodoka frowned. "Seems like a bad influence…"
Kasumi left to go check on the sake she'd hidden.
'I hope nothing bad has happened,' Nodoka thought.
That's when Akane ran down the stairs and to the bathroom, Ranma popping out of her top.
"Oh dear…" Nodoka had a hand to her mouth.
Yuka and Sayuri followed shortly thereafter, gasping for breath.
Nodoka shook her head. 'Girls these days sure have changed…'
Rama rode in between Akane's breasts like a baby kangaroo as the blue-haired girl got into the inner bath and started the furo up.
"Ranma…" Akane leaned on the furo for support. "Did you… Did you do THAT… with me… as a cat?"
"Nya…" Ranma rubbed her face on Akane's breasts.
Akane slumped to the floor, tears in her eyes. "Why… Why?"
Ranma turned around and patted Akane in a 'there, there' way.
Yuka and Sayuri got to the door of the bathroom and placed their ears against it.
"Don't DO THAT!" Akane picked up Ranma from the scruff of her neck and threw her into the water, causing herself to fall over and sprawl out on the floor.
"PPTHH! ACK!" Ranma coughed. "Whatcha do THAT for!?"
"THAT was for drug raping me, IDIOT!" Akane growled from the floor, struggling to stand up. "I'm… I even have a hard time staying upright!"
Sayuri and Yuka's eyes widened.
"WHAT!?" Ranma exclaimed. "WHAT THE?! I DON'T EVEN…!"
"DON'T you WHAT ME!" Akane balled her fists and got up to a seating position. "You got me drunk and did… THAT to me!"
"Hey, I didn't get you drunk, ya idiot!" Ranma yelled.
"Oh, well, excuse me for not believing you, but you DID do THAT to my… breasts…" Akane's face reddened. "My body is wet with your… your… ARGGG!"
Yuka and Sayuri stepped away from the door.
"She's gonna kill me if she figures it out," Yuka whispered.
"Let's get out of here," Sayuri whispered back.
Yuka nodded and they fled to Akane's room.
"Alright, TIME OUT!" Ranma screamed. "All that happened was that YOU drunk spiked lemonade and SMACKED ME NUMEROUS TIMES! So I came into your room and knocked you out!"
"Yeah, and messed with my body!" Akane accused. "It's MY body… Mine… mine…"
"ARG! Akane!" Ranma facepalmed. "When I'm a cat, my mind… isn't too advanced… I just DO things simply. Not thinking too much. Pretty much a one-track mind. And that was to get you to stop hitting me all over your room and into the koi pond. All I did was hit you with the glass bottle and then fall asleep there… It's nice, you know…. Very comfy…"
Akane scrunched her lips. "You LICKED ME!"
"…" Ranma rolled her eyes. "It was a cat kiss on the cheek, Akane…"
"Alright…" Akane thought about it, head moving in circles as she looked at the ceiling. "Then… why is my pajama top wet? Huh? Yeah…"
"Smell it." Ranma crossed her arms.
"What?" Akane blinked. "What did you say?"
"It smells like lemonade," Ranma clarified.
Akane smelled her top. "It does. Mmm… lemonade…"
"Now, do you REALLY think that I would have… sex with you as a cat?" Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Do you?"
Akane bit her lip. "Well… you licked my breasts…"
"DO you?" Ranma repeated.
"No…" Akane sighed. "I'm sorry, it's just… Well, it LOOKED like it…"
"And you were drunk crazy." Ranma smirked. "Punching me all over your room..."
Akane's face got redder. "RANMA!"
"It's true." Ranma shrugged. "Or do you not see the bruises on my face and the bump on my head?"
Akane looked closely and saw said injuries. "I-I didn't MEAN to…"
"Look, I'll forgive you IF you come with me on my shopping trip with my mom." Ranma's shoulders slumped. "I… I really need you there…"
Akane hugged Ranma. "I'll do it…"
Ranma smiled. "Good… Now, let's finish this sleepover thing."
*Splash* Akane fell into the furo with Ranma, soaking her pajamas.
"Whoa…" Ranma waved her hand over her nose. "I smell the alcohol in your breath. That was just ONE bottle, Akane! Wow!"
"Ohhh, my head…" Akane groaned.
"There, the room's clean now," Yuka sighed in relief. "She won't find out, right?"
Yuka wiped her forehead. "I really, REALLY hope that she doesn't wonder why there's a poster there over that dent in the wall."
Suddenly, Ranma zoomed into the room with Akane in her arms, shutting the door quickly.
"Um…" Yuka sweatdropped.
"Why are you two nude?" Sayuri asked.
Akane's face was green. "Oh, I think that made it worse…"
Ranma sighed. "Akane got soaked, but I think no one saw us."
Sayuri whistled. "That fast?"
"Yeah huh." Ranma smirked. "Now, lie down on the bed, Akane…"
"I think I'm going to be sick," Akane groaned.
The three other girls got Akane into bed easily.
"So…" Sayuri twiddled her fingers. "What now?"
"I dunno." Ranma shrugged. "Got any more of that lemonade? We need to get rid of it."
Yuka waved her arms defiantly. "No, no, NO! That bottle… The alcohol-having lemonade… stuff. It wasn't on purpose! And it was the only one!"
Sayuri and Ranma stared at her oddly.
"…" Yuka sweated. "Hey Ranma, I nearly forgot. You wanted juice, right? Well, here, I'll even open it for you," she offered, pulling out a juice.
Ranma blinked and scratched her head. "Sure…"
"Here, WHOA!" Ttrying to hurry up, Yuka tripped over her own feet, causing the opened juice to go flying.
*Splash* Ranma turned into a cat.
Sayuri and Yuka gasped simultaneously.
Ranma facepalmed. "Nyan…"
'I wonder where Kasumi is,' Nodoka thought as she finished her tea. 'The sake wasn't stolen, was it?'
Nodoka reached for her katana that wasn't there and rose to her feet.
That's when Kasumi came back into the room, smiling.
"Kasumi, did you find the sake?" Nodoka asked.
"Oh yes, Auntie." Kasumi smiled. "It was right where I hid it."
Nodoka raised an eyebrow, but shook off her suspicions and sat back down.
"Want more tea, Auntie?" Kasumi asked with a smile.
"Sure…" Nodoka answered.
"Oh, the excitement is building up again," Kasumi sighed blissfully. "So wonderful…"
Nodoka let out a sigh. "From a certain point of view…."
"Am I dreaming, Sayuri?" Yuka asked, dazed.
Sayuri pinched her butt.
"OW!" Yuka complained.
"No…" Sayuri answered. "I'm seeing it too."
Ranma was rubbing her face, yowling like the cat that she was.
"This can only mean…" Yuka gulped.
"That she is…" Sayuri's eyes widened.
"A WITCH!" the duo yelled simultaneously.
"NyanAIIAH!" Ranma double facepalmed, shaking her head.
"Who's a witch?" Akane asked, groaning.
"Nyan nya nyawrall!" Ranma complained.
"Or maybe you're a witch's familiar?" Sayuri asked, scratching her head.
"Familiar to who?" Akane asked. "Is Ranma a kitty?"
Yuka's eyes widened. "Akane… You… you're a witch?!"
"Apparently your last name is Kuno." Akane sweatdropped. "Get hot water."
"Sure…" Yuka calmed herself. "Hehehe… A witch… That's ridiculous…"
Sayuri looked at Ranma to Akane to Ranma again. "So… who is the witch, then?"
"China," Akane answered. "I guess… Ranma, is that right?"
"Still…" Sayuri smiled. "Ranma is even cuter now! May I pet you, Ranma?"
Ranma rolled her eyes but walked over to Sayuri to be petted, but only three times.
Yuka came back soon enough with a kettle of hot water.
"Nya…" Ranma got out of Sayuri's grasp and grabbed the kettle with her teeth.
"OW, that's hot!" Ranma seethed in pain.
"Wow…" Yuka muttered.
Akane held out a finger. "Don't tell the school, got it?"
Sayuri and Yuka nodded.
Ranma took a deep breath. "It went like this…."
Kasumi put a hand to her mouth. "Ranma must not want to be a kitty right now…"
Nodoka nodded. "I am going to bed now, Kasumi. Goodnight."
"Goodnight." Kasumi smiled. "I should be sleeping too…"
With that, both women went to bed.
"There." Ranma crossed her arms. "Are we good now?"
"Not quite…" Yuka muttered. "I need to see it again."
Nervous, Yuka took the juice that was still opened from earlier and held it over Ranma's head carefully.
Ranma stood there, waiting.
Yuka fell over, causing the juice to hit her, Ranma AND Sayuri.
"Great," Sayuri sighed. "Ranma's now juiced AND you messed up my clothes."
"Nya!" Ranma complained.
"So the story checks out…" Yuka mumbled.
"OF COURSE IT DOES!" Akane yelled. "Honestly!"
Ranma poured the rest of the water from the kettle over herself, but the water had cooled too much.
"Nyan!" Ranma complained.
Sayuri threw her arms up in the air. "Let's go to sleep so that we don't end up making things worse."
Yuka blinked. "Good idea…"
Sayuri and Yuka got out of their juiced pajamas and got out their futons, nude.
Ranma sighed and jumped into Akane's bed.
Yuka smiled. 'It worked! Ukyo will be mine!'
"Goodnight, everyone!" Akane yawned.
"Goodnight!" Sayuri smiled.
"Goodnight!" Yuka turned out the lights.
"Nya nyaght…" Ranma smiled like the cat she was.
[I'm bored, Tendo,] Genma's sign said as he sat below deck as a panda.
"So am I, Saotome. So am I…" Soun sighed.
The ship rocked back and forth as it sailed across the sea.
[I spy…] Genma's sign said. [Something brown.]
"Not this again…" Soun covered his eyes. "I'm going to sleep."
[But I'm bored,] Genma's sign complained.
"Goodnight Saotome," Soun said and fell asleep.
Time passed, nothing happening.
[I'm still bored.] Genma waved his sign to no avail.
Author's notes: wowza! An update! A crazy one too! Well guest, you're right, sleepover. But no Ukyo… And Raw666, they are cat claws… yeah… anyway, see you next time! I'm the Text!