Ranma-chan, the Cat

~Noy Telinú~

Warning: don't get raped by domestic cats, they have barbed penises that destroy the vagina on the way out. O_O

Caution: mothers can be a bit… interfering when it comes to teenage love lives…

Notice: that it's St. Patrick's day in participating countries. So wear green and be careful …

You have been warned….


IIII II: If you take a cat shopping…

The light creeped its way into Akane's room, despite the boardedup windows. The blue-haired girl had a tiny red cat named Ranma sleeping between her breasts. Yuka and Sayuri were sharing a futon… naked… facing each other… with their arms and legs entangled.

"Aw, that is SO sweet…" Nabiki smirked and pulled out her camera.

*Flash* The light from the camera startled everyone.

"Uhhghh…" Akane yawned. "Good morning, Nabiki… NABIKI!"

The middle Tendo winked. "Hey there, sis. It's about time you girls woke up. It's nearly lunchtime."

Yuka blinked. "Sayuri? What… AHHH!" The brown-haired girl franticly tried covering herself.

Ranma nyaned in annoyance.

Sayuri's eyes were wide open as she just lay there in a pool of her own drool.

Akane growled. "NABIKI! GET OUT!"

Nabiki shrugged. "Fine, fine. I'll leave you to your bestiality orgy."

With that, Nabiki left the room.

Akane crossed her arms. "Honestly…"

The youngest Tendo's eyes went wide, however, as she saw her two friends tangled up in the same futon.

Ranma nyaned happily as she watched Yuka try to escape with her dignity and Sayuri not moving, still in shock.

"Ahh!" Yuka got her foot stuck in a sheet.

*Splat* Yuka fell over and faceplanted onto Akane's floor, her backside facing Sayuri.

Sayuri's eyes rolled to the back of her head and she passed out, a giant smile on her face.

"…" Akane sweatdropped.

"Nyaaaaa…" Ranma purred.


Nodoka tried not to laugh, and in doing so frowned. "This curse of yours is rather bothersome, daughter."

A wet Ranma sighed from Akane's arms.

The blue-haired girl giggled. "I have to admit, Ranma, this knapsack you have sure is handy…"

Nodoka agreed. "Perhaps a trip to the baths would be in order."

"I don't know…" Akane mused. "What do you think, Ranma?"

The cat hissed loudly in her arms.

"Alright, alright…" Akane tried to calm Ranma down. "We'll get some hot water-HEY!"

Ranma jumped from Akane's arms and dove into her knapsack, disappearing from view.

Nodoka blinked. "How?"

Akane shrugged.

Moments ticked away and the two started to get worried.

Akane flipped the bag over and shook it, but nothing came out.

Nodoka frowned.

"Um… This is awkward…" Akane muttered. "Ranma? Can you hear me?"

The silence was deafening to the duo.

Akane gulped as sweat formed on her face. "Hehehe… She's fine… I hope…"

Nodoka was just starting to lose it, but then something happened.

A giant umbrella popped out of the knapsack, causing Akane to dodge out of the way. The hand holding it was covered in a thick glove.

Akane's eye twitched as Ranma stepped out of the knapsack in full winter clothes, covered from head to toe.

"MPphMgrpgh," Ranma spoke, her voice muffled by the thick clothing.

Akane sweatdropped. "You have GOT to be kidding me!"

Ranma took her knapsack and started walking towards the store.

"I believe that is a bit… much, daughter," Nodoka observed.

Ranma shrugged.

"Honestly…" Akane facepalmed.


The trio finally made it to a clothing store and Ranma was putting everything back into her knapsack.

"Oh, so you dyed your hair red again, daughter?" Nodoka asked as she noticed Ranma's hair.

"Magic like, yeah." Ranma nodded. "I prefer doing things as a girl with a different color other than black. It helps with the whole school thing…"

Akane shook her head in disbelief. "How…? Ranma, how did you change back to a girl, put on all those clothes AND dye your hair in that bag!? It's driving me crazy just thinking about it!"

Ranma blinked. "Oh yeah, there's a lot of room in there. I just ran the stove to boil the water…"

"A stove?" Akane's mouth dropped.

Ranma nodded. "Right now just my tent and stuff is set up in there. Nothing fancy."

"How… how does that even work!?" Akane gripped her head.

Ranma rolled her eyes. "First you put water in a kettle…"

"No! Not that!" Akane growled. "How can you have enough room for all that stuff and move around!?"

"Magic?" Ranma shrugged. "I dunno. It was a gift, remember? But yeah, it has, like, infinite space or something."

Nodoka grabbed Ranma's hands. "Daughter… could I have a bag like that?"

"Um…" Ranma was feeling nervous from all these questions and she pulled away. "If I see the one who makes them again, sure…"

That's when Ranma pulled off her final articles of heavy clothing, revealing that she was wearing her Chinese dress.

Nodoka smiled. "Daughter, is this the dress you talked about earlier?"

"Yes; yes, it is. But enough of this… Onward!" Ranma bravely walked into the extremely feminine clothing store.

The other two glanced at each other briefly before they started to follow.

Only for Ranma to run out of the store and place her back against the door, face red and gasping heavily, before the other two could even walk into the store.

Akane sweatdropped.

Nodoka's face was full of concern. "Daughter? What is the matter?"

"Too… much…" Ranma muttered. "My heart… can't take it…"

A giant question mark appeared over the other two females.

"I don't think I can do this," Ranma whimpered.

Akane frowned. "Yeah, I don't think so."

Ranma looked up in confusion only to have her eyes nearly pop out of her head as Akane grabbed her arm and pulled her inside as if Ranma were a child.

Nodoka nearly giggled at the sight.

Ranma started to feel lightheaded as she was pulled through the store. It didn't help that the front was the lingerie section.

"Here we go…" Akane stopped and put her arm around Ranma's shoulders. "Let's start off easy. Tops. Go find one you like."

Ranma's eyes glazed over as she stood there, motionless.

Nodoka caught up with the girls and was quite puzzled to see Ranma just standing here.

Akane gave Ranma a tiny push in the back.

*ZOOM* The redheaded girl zipped off, disappearing in a blink of the eye.

Akane slumped, and sighed.

"This was a bad idea… wasn't it?" Nodoka asked, mostly to herself.

Akane straightened herself up. "I'll check this way…"

As Nodoka and Akane split up to look for her, Ranma was in a corner underneath a clothing rack, hugging her knees in a fetal position and rocking back and forth.

'I can't do this! It's just so… And the women here! They're watching me! It's like they're dissecting me with their eyes!' Ranma shivered. 'Do they think I'm a fake? Are they judging me?! I'm just so… so…'

Ranma gripped her knees tighter together. "… Scared."


Genma fanned his panda face with a sign as he tried to stay in the shade on the lower decks of the boat.

"So hot…" Soun whined, mostly nude. "Saotome… how much farther?"

Genma showed his friend a sign. [A week… maybe.]

"I spy…" Soun mumbled.

Genma threw a sign, hitting him in the face.

[Shut up,] it read.

Soun was knocked out, however, as the sign sent him to dreamland.

Genma groaned and lay back down, wondering what his worthless son who wouldn't be male was doing.


Ranma was hiding from view, alone and scared.

Not something that Genma would be proud of.

Nodoka didn't care, though, when she found her daughter sniffling in a fetal position. "Ranma…"

"Wwhhat?" Ranma replied pathetically, wiping her nose with her hand.

Nodoka felt for her daughter and hugged the girl with all her might. "There, there… Maybe this was too much to ask. Come, let us go."

Ranma gripped her mother tighter. "N-no. No, I will get through this. I… I can't fail you, Mom. Please, I can't…"

Nodoka felt her daughter's tears running down her back and closed her eyes. "You can never fail me, Ranma. I couldn't be more proud of my daughter."

"You're just saying that." Ranma sniffled.

"No. No, I'm not," Nodoka replied. "Why would you think that?"

Ranma pulled herself into a face-to-face position with Nodoka. "Look at me! I'm hiding in a store, scared spitless! I'm a disgrace as a girl. Maybe... maybe I should have been cursed to be a boy…"

Nodoka narrowed her eyes and gripped Ranma's shoulders. "Now listen here, young lady! You are not, I repeat, NOT a disgrace, you hear me?! I've spent too many years wasting away looking for you to have you think of yourself like this. After everything your father has done to you, after all the pain our family has gone through…"

Ranma wiped her tears away as she saw her own mother cry as well.

*CRASH* A clothing rack fell over, clanking on the floor.

The Saotomes looked over to see Akane trying to look innocent and failing.

"…" Ranma tried to say something, but couldn't really find the words and closed her mouth.

"Do you want to go home or not?" Nodoka asked her daughter, ignoring Akane.

Ranma took a deep breath. "I'll do this."

Mother and daughter got up off the floor, ready for shopping.


Akane's face was red from embarrassment as they finally began to shop.

Most people would have guessed it was due to the redheaded girl firmly grasping her arm in a tight squeeze. But those who saw her a while earlier knew it was most likely because she knocked a clothing rack over.

The truth was that Akane was embarrassed because she was caught eavesdropping on her friend and her friend's mother as they shared a personal moment… that she interrupted by not paying attention.

It was why she hadn't pushed Ranma off yet.

Nodoka silently shook her head as they continued to walk around the store, trying to ease Ranma's nerves.

It didn't seem to be working.

"Um… Ranma… I can't feel my arm…" Akane said offhandedly, trying to not draw too much attention.

Ranma, teeth chattering already, tried to calm down and loosen her grip.

"Hi there, welcome to-" a saleslady greeted the trio, only to but cut of by Ranma's yelp.

"AH!" Ranma hid behind Akane, grabbing onto her back as if she were Yoda.

Nodoka shook her head sadly.

The saleslady sweatdropped. "Uh… As I was saying…"

"Could you show us your Western, customized t-shirts?" Nodoka asked, formulating an idea.

"Sure." The saleslady turned around. "This way, please."

Akane sighed in relief as Ranma got off her.

"Sorry…" Ranma whispered, head down.

As the trio came to that section of the store, Ranma became much more comfortable with her surroundings.

"Here we are. Now, is there anything else you need?" the saleslady asked.

Akane paused and glanced at Ranma, who was looking interested. Then she looked over to Nodoka, who appeared relived. "No, we're good."

The saleslady bowed and moved on.

Ranma let go of Akane and started looking around.


Three girls sat at an ice cream shop. One was clearly enjoying herself. The other two… not so much.

"You want us to WHAT?!" Yuka could not believe what she was told.

Nabiki scooped some ice cream and ate it. "I said that I want you two to do some photo shoots for me."

Yuka's eye twitched. "How about NO?!"

Nabiki glanced at Sayuri, who was white in shock, all the color drained from her.

Yuka crossed her arms and turned away defiantly.

"How about yes, or I'll show others the photos from last night…" Nabiki smirked.

Yuka paled. "You… you really mean it?"

Nabiki nodded. "You know I'll do it. I already have an idea of whom to sell them to…"

Sayuri slumped in her seat, unresponsive.

Yuka gulped. "Why us? Why not Akane? Or… or even Ranma!?"

Nabiki shook her head slowly. "I already get money for Akane, and Ranma is off limits. She's suffered too much. Oh, and if I find out you two spilled the beans on Ranma's sex, I'll show the photos to every boy at school."

Yuka shivered. "You're cruel."

"Flattery will get you nowhere." Nabiki ate more ice cream. "Besides, the way I'm planning it… this could benefit you."

Yuka bit her lip. "How am I supposed to believe you?"

"Do you have a choice?" Nabiki smirked. "Here's the plan: I'll take non-nude shots of you two together that will hint at lesbianism. This way, guys will start noticing you."

Sayuri slithered to the floor, drool escaping from her lips.

Yuka twiddled her fingers under the table. "I don't know. That seems contradictory…"

Sayuri climbed back up, wiping the drool off her face. "Yuka has a point. Isn't being a lesbian what Akane should do to get guys OFF of her?"

Nabiki smirked. "Ah, but there's a difference. Akane doing that would give the impression that the boys MADE her lesbian. With you two, it'll get you attention."

"Um, sexual orientation doesn't work that way…" Sayuri muttered.

"Do you really give the boys at school that much credit?" Nabiki raised an eyebrow.

Sayuri and Yuka glanced at each other and silently admitted she had a point.

"I'll tell you what… First set, below the neck; that way it's mysterious," Nabiki offered. "What do you say?"

Sayuri made a short nod, like in anime. "Mm."

Yuka sighed. "Oh, alright…"

Nabiki smirked. "Deal."


"So many of these are from America…" Ranma muttered as she browsed the shirts. "Hmmm… This one looks good."

Akane smiled as Ranma picked out a shirt.

The t-shirt was one of the protagonist of Disney-Pixar's Brave, posed with a bow and arrow.

"That hair must be a pain to deal with," Ranma commented on the shirt.

Nodoka nodded as she glanced upon it. "Would you like to try it on?"

Ranma hesitated. "Um… You mean now? Here?"

Akane failed to hold in her giggles. "No, no. Come on, I'll show you…"

Nodoka smiled as Akane dragged Ranma off to a changing room.

"Here, go in and change," Akane ordered as she pushed Ranma into a changing booth and closed the curtain.

Ranma sighed and undressed. 'I can do this… I can do this…'

Akane smiled. 'Took longer than expected, but things are finally looking up.'


Kasumi was humming as she cleaned the house yet again.

With everyone else out, Kasumi was in unfamiliar territory. Home alone. Even over the last year, her father would be home nearly all the time.

So the emptiness was concerning for her.

"I wonder when they will get back…" Kasumi said to herself.

The girl sighed and continued to work, going back to humming to take her mind off the thing that was bothering her the most…


She was just finishing up the hallway on the second floor when she noticed a wrapper sticking out of Nabiki's door.

"Oh my… Messy, messy…" Kasumi shook her head.

Kasumi picked it up, but her mind was already wandering to the other messy things that could be in her sister's room.

The eldest Tendo daughter placed a hand to her mouth as she was chibified. Flashbacks of Nabiki eating things, making a mess, and being a slob played out above her head in a thought bubble.

Kasumi, her blank eyes staring ahead, yelped. "Oh no!"

The bubble burst and Kasumi was back to normal as she stared at Nabiki's door.

Nabiki told Kaumi to not bother with her room anymore. She said it was to help ease the burden, but Kasumi knew that was a lie.

After a bit of discussion, they agreed that Kasumi would clean Nabiki's room once a week. That is it.

"What is she hiding in there?" Kasumi wondered aloud.

Kasumi knew that her sister MUST be hiding something. But what, she couldn't say.

So she stared at the door, facing her next biggest thing that was bothering her.

Lack of excitement.

Things got more exciting once Ranma came, but right now Kasumi was bored and alone. Finding out Nabiki's secret could bring some excitement back into her life.

"But is that a good choice?" Kasumi pondered. "Is it wrong?"

*Pop* A shoulder angel that looked like Kasumi in a toga and a halo popped into existence on Kasumi's right shoulder.

"Oh no, don't do that." The angel titled her head to the side and smiled. "That would be rude."

Kasumi frowned. "You're right. Still…"

*Pop* Another angel popped into existence on Kasumi's other shoulder. This one was in a revealing nightgown and bikini bottom.

"But it is exciting." The bikini-bottom-clad angel smiled and tilted her head.

"True…" Kasumi nodded. "But isn't that rude?"

The toga angel gave an anime nod. "Mm."

"Yes, but it IS exciting," the bikini bottom angel reminded.

"Oh my…" Kasumi fretted.

The oldest Tendo daughter stared at the door, wondering what she should do.


The redheaded girl groaned as she pulled the shirt down yet again.

"Akane!" Ranma complained. "Why won't it FIT!?"

The blue-haired girl, who was still outside the booth, rolled her eyes. "Can I come in and see what's the matter?"

"Sure," Ranma muttered.

Akane peeked in behind the curtain. "Well, sometimes it's the-RANMA!"

Ranma tilted her head in confusion as Akane looked like she was having a seizure. The pigtailed girl was only wearing the t-shirt. Nothing else.

"Um… are you alright, Akane?" Ranma asked, scratching her head.

Akane shook her head clear and came in all the way, making sure the curtain was shut.

"Akane?" Ranma was now really confused.

The blue-haired girl whispered loudly. "Why are you half naked?!"

Ranma blinked. "'Cause you told me to? Anyway, this shirt doesn't fit. But that doesn't make any sense. It's my size…"

Akane sighed and rubbed her temples. "Ranma, the size you're talking about… Are those men's sizes?"

The redheaded girl squirmed. "N-No…"

"Really?" Akane raised an eyebrow.

Ranma nodded.

"… Well, it COULD be that it's from America…" Akane tried to explain. "Maybe you grabbed one in their standard sizes and not ours? What size are you, anyway?"

Ranma tapped her lips. "I think I'm 140 cm…"

"What?" Akane deadpanned. 'Did they change the sizes AGAIN?! HONESTLY! THOSE CORPORATE JERKS!'

"Yeah, 140 cm…" Ranma muttered, embarrassed. "The adult sizes are too big for me. At least in China I don't feel like a kid."

Akane facepalmed. "Was that for boys' clothes?"

"Well, duh." Ranma rolled her eyes. "That dress was the only girls' clothing I have. I told you that before."

Akane gripped her head to resist screaming at her friend. "Ranma. Boys and girls have different sizes…"

"They do?" Ranma murmured. "That would explain why the girls kept bragging that they were a 2…"

Akane took a deep breath to calm herself. "Alright, lets see what the tag says…"

Ranma turned around and showed Akane her back.

"Hmm… it IS the size you said… Wonder wh-" Akane nearly smacked herself. "Of course! Ranma, your breasts!"

Ranma looked down. "What about them?"

Nodoka stood outside the dressing room, feeling worried. "Is there a problem?"

"AH!" Ranma reacted to the sudden voice.

*Wham* The movement caused both girls to fall, Akane on top of Ranma.

"Ranma? Akane?" Nodoka peered inside the room.

The Saotome mother was shocked to see what was in front of her.

Akane was straddling Ranma, who was nearly nude, pulling at her shirt.

"It's not what it looks like!" Akane exclaimed.

"Unfortunately," Ranma laughed.

Nodoka and Akane stared at Ranma.

"What?" Ranma kept her cool.

Nodoka shook her head. "How is it going in here?"

Akane sighed. "We… need to measure Ranma's bust. We forgot to take that into account."

Ranma blinked in realization. "Ohh…"

"Daughter, you do not know the size of your breasts? Or did they grow recently?" Nodoka asked, coming in and closing the curtain.

"Um…" Ranma sweated. "I don't think I did…"

Akane got up off Ranma. "Then… how did you get that dress?"

The pigtailed girl shrugged. "That was a gift. See, there was this woman who was, like, a martial arts clothes maker or something and measured me in all these areas in less than two seconds…"

"It is something you should know," Nodoka informed her daughter. "Akane, hand me that tape measure."

Akane looked where Nodoka was pointing and found a tape measure hanging on a wooden rod. The blue-haired girl grabbed it and handed it to Nodoka.

"Now daughter, this might take a while and there's a little math involved, so please remember the measurements as we don't have anything to write them down," Nodoka instructed.

Ranma gulped.


Kasumi struggled with her decision as she held the doorknob of Nabiki's room.

Her shoulder angels smiled at her, not TELLING her to do anything, but simply stating facts.

"So exciting… but rude…" Kasumi repeated to herself for the umpteenth time.

Her angels stood there, smiling at her, eyes closed, heads tilted.

This would have gone on for hours if not for another vision appearing to help.

"Nya…" Ranma, a cat, voiced her opinion on Kasumi's head.

Kasumi looked up to see the cat peering down at her.

"You're sooo CUTE!" Kasumi squealed.

"Nya." Ranma nodded.

"So cute!" The Toga angel hugged herself.

"So cute!" The bikini bottom angel shrieked. "Hug her! HUG HER!"

Ranma-chan, the cat jumped off of Kasumi's head into the bikini angel's arms.

"SOOO CUTE!" The angel lost her composure and started squeezing the cat to death. "EEEEEEEE!"

The toga angel suddenly appeared on the other shoulder and glomped the two other figments of Kasumi's imagination.

Kasumi turned to see them so fast that she twisted the doorknob, opening the door.

"AHHH!" the two angels screamed as they saw the room behind Kasumi's head.

Kasumi turned around to see what was so shocking. "OH MY!"

Nabiki's walls were covered in photos. Some of Akane, some of Yuka and Sayuri, and the rest group shots from last night. The photos ranged from slice-of-life situations to outright pornography.

"Nyral…" Ranma-kitty nyaned.

"Nabiki is a hentai…" the bikini bottom angel gasped.

The toga one covered her eyes. "So naughty! So naughty! Naughty, naughty, naughty!"

Kasumi saw that her sister had games stacked on her desk. "Oh no! Nabiki! Don't tell me you're into eroge!"

The eldest Tendo girl gawked at the erotic games on Nabiki's desk.

After taking one more glance, Kasumi closed the door.

"So immature…" the bikini-bottomed angel shook her head. "Nabiki needs to grow up. She's 17 and is still looking for a class S relationship. Girls should be looking for boys at that age, not being romantic with other girls still."

"WORSE!" the other angel freaked out. "It's… it's… nude girls! Nabiki might be a… A…!"

"Nyra…" Ranma kitty rolled her eyes.

The bikini bottom angel mused. "Perhaps her being a lesbian might actually do her some good. Once she sees how embarrassing she's being…"

Kasumi was wringing her hands as she listened to the exchange. "But… but Nabiki… Remember how she said she… Remember when she thought Ranma was male?"

Ranma-kitty hissed.

"Oh, right," the toga angel sighed in relief. "She is growing up then… I wonder why she has all these photos, though…"

"Money?" The other angel shrugged. "Whatever it is, it's certainly EXCITING!"

Kasumi nodded. "Exciting."

The angels and cat poofed away and Kasumi was left alone in the hallway.


A nude Ranma was in a corner of the booth, crouching in a fetal position once again, eyes blank, muttering to herself as she gripped her head. "Never that violated… in my life…"

Nodoka was busy saying numbers over and over again, seeing as her daughter was being uncooperative at the moment.

Akane was trying to figure out what was going on. "Ranma, you did more than this last night…"

Ranma shook her head. "The numbers… They judge me… I know it…"

Seeing how her friend seemed delirious, Akane settled for burying her face in her hands.

"I'll be right back," Nodoka said quickly before leaving the two girls.

Akane sat down in an unoccupied corner and sighed.

"I suck at bein' a girl…" Ranma spat, banging her fist against the wall of the booth.

"Come on now, don't say that," Akane replied as she glanced over to Ranma.

"Why not?" Ranma questioned. "I freaked out because of a tape measure. A TAPE MEASURE! Girls go through this all the time and I got scared…"

Akane tried to think of something to console her. "Well… this IS your first time, after all…"

"Please, stop. Don't make this sound like I just lost my virginity," Ranma muttered.

The blue-haired girl rolled her eyes. "I'm just trying to help here…"

Ranma sighed. "I know. I'm such a tomboy…"

Akane was going to deny that, but she knew it would be lying.

"So… what were the other measurements for? Like around my stomach?" Ranma asked. "It seemed unnecessary."

"Well that's because girls' clothes are different," Akane answered. "More… form fitting, I suppose…"

Ranma's eyes widened. "Oh no… you're RIGHT! Why didn't I notice that before!?"

Akane frowned as she saw Ranma start to panic. "Honestly…"

"I'm back!" Nodoka announced. "Here, try them on."

A giant pile of clothes was now on the floor.

"H-hey!" Ranma complained, almost losing her voice. "What is all this!?"

The redhead pointed to a nightie. A pink nightie.

"Oh, that…" Nodoka smiled. "I couldn't help myself."

Ranma gulped. "I-I'm not wearing that…"

Akane was getting sick and tired of Ranma's nervousness. "And why not?"

"IT'S PINK!" Ranma shouted. "Not to mention it looks like it'll fall apart if I touch it!"

Nodoka crossed her arms. "And why is that a problem?"

Ranma fretted. "Well, you know… Being practical is always better than looks. And this is so thin I doubt it helps keep you warm at all…"

Nodoka and Akane glanced at each other.

Ranma sweated. "What?"

"This will be a long, long day," Nodoka sighed.


"Hey Kasumi, I'm home!" Nabiki called upon her return, slurping a slurpee.

Her sister poked her head out of the kitchen. "Welcome home!"

Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "Sis… why are you sweating? It's actually pretty cool right now."

Kasumi closed her eyes and smiled. "I was very busy cleaning, so…"

"Sure, whatever." Nabiki finished off her drink. "When will they be back?"

Kasumi frowned. "I don't know."

"Can't be too long," Nabiki mused. "Oh well…"

With that, Nabiki walked up to her room.

"Wait!" Kasumi eeped, closing her mouth.

Nabiki stopped and turned around. "What?"

Kasumi waved it off. "It was nothing, nothing…"

"Uh huh. Sure it was." Nabiki crossed her arms. "What did you do?"

Kasumi smiled and feigned innocence. "Oh, nothing out of the ordinary…"

"Hmmm…" Nabiki rubbed her chin. "Right…"

The middlest Tendo walked up the stairs again and entered her room.

Kasumi sighed in relief.


"Why is it so tight!?" Ranma complained.

The redhead was in a Brave t-shirt, pulling it down again and again.

Akane was trying not to be envious. "Because that's how things are!"

Nodoka grew concerned over her daughter's continuous discomfort. 'She really WAS raised with a male mindset… I have a very bad feeling about this.'

"It's stupid," Ranma spewed as she looked herself over. "I feel so… exposed… and every time I move my arms I get an instant midriff! Pathetically short sleeves…"

"Well, that wouldn't happen if you would try on a dress!" Akane fumed.

Ranma crossed her arms. "Oh, HELL NO! Nuh uh. No way. YOU may like exposing yourself, but not me!"

"What the…!? You HAVE a Chinese dress, not to mention you ran around NAKED last night!" Akane growled. "Don't accuse ME of exposing MYSELF!"

"That's different!" Ranma argued. "I chose to be like that in a home surrounded by girls I know! Not in a store or on the street! I don't like being looked at like that by strangers! It's too weird!"

"Damn, girl, you need to get laid," an American woman yelled out from a few booths down.

Nodoka spoke up. "Now, now. Calm down, girls…"

Akane's shoulders slumped. "Sorry…"

Ranma nearly laughed and shook her head, looking down. "Huh? Oh, a Star Wars VII shirt… I really want to see that. Looks cool…"

"Daughter?" Nodoka smiled.

"Yeah, Mom?" Ranma looked up..

"I know you are a bit… uneasy…" Nodoka grabbed Ranma by the shoulders. "So to help with this, and to find your true self… I think you should try to find a boyfriend. Don't you think?"

"WHAT?!" Ranma's eyes widened in shock.

"Daughter, dear, you are beautiful and would make any man proud to be with you…" Nodoka tried to soothe Ranma, unknowingly with all the wrong words.

Ranma's face turned green. "Uh, no, it would be bad for me to be with a boy…"

Nodoka smiled. "That is why you need to find a man. Someone mature, handsome, manly… Someone to help you on your journey to womanhood."

Ranma held her stomach. "I think I'm gonna be sick…"

"Oh, yes," Nodoka sighed blissfully. "It can cause butterflies in your stomach. But once you find a man to love, one with whom you'll want to have children, it eases…"

*Thud* Ranma fainted, hitting the floor.


Kasumi hummed as she cooked dinner, smiling and enjoying herself.

But then Nabiki came into the kitchen. "Kasumi. We need to talk."

The eldest Tendo daughter frowned. "About what, Nabiki?"

Nabiki crossed her arms. "What were you doing in my room?"

Kasumi paled. "I… Oh, my…"

"Well?" Nabiki pressed. "GoOo on…"

Kasumi fretted. "I… I didn't mean to…"

Nabiki groaned. "Sis, seriously, I like my privacy. I thought we had a deal."

"But there was trash and I picked it up and your room was there so I thought about it and my fingers slipped, and I… I… Oh, MY!" Kasumi spewed quickly, embarrassed.

"Damn it!" Nabiki pulled herself together. "What did you see?"

Kasumi looked away. "Many, many photos of… underdressed girls… Nabiki, you aren't…"

Nabiki sighed. "No. I'm not."

Kasumi sighed in relief.

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Jeez, Sis, your sister maybe being a lesbian isn't something to freak out about. Besides… guys, girls, who cares? They don't work on me; only money. Anyway, call me when dinner is ready. I need to do stuff."

"Oh, my…" Kasumi had a hand to her forehead.


Ranma, back in her Chinese dress, along with Akane sat in the very back corner of the ice cream place.

The rest of the afternoon was a blur for Ranma after she fainted. Nodoka took a few of the clothes they'd looked at and purchased them, saying she'd take them home. Ranma got dressed and ran out of the store, causing Akane to chase her.

When she finally caught up to the redhead, she was drowning her sorrows in ice cream.

Akane tried to comfort her. "There, there. I'm sure she isn't trying to rush you."

Ranma sobbed and ate ice cream.

"You shouldn't have to date when you aren't ready," Akane sighed.

Ranma nodded.

"Don't worry, you'll find a man when you're ready. There's no rush." Akane went to hug Ranma.

"No…" Ranma seethed.

Akane blinked. "Huh?"

Ranma laughed madly. "Don't you get it?! Haven't you noticed yet!? Sure, I never said it, but I thought it would be obvious by now! Especially after last night!"

Akane frowned. "Know what? And I think you need to lay off the ice cream. Remember last time?"

"Yes. Yes, I do." Ranma's eyes crossed as she laughed. "I need it! I need it!"

"Calm down!" Akane insisted. "So immature. You knew this would happen yet you did it anyway!"

Ranma laughed more. "Of course! Of course! But you still don't see it! You don't understand my pain!"

"How am I supposed to help if you won't tell me?!" Akane fumed.

Ranma stopped, her eyes back to normal but overflowing with tears.

"… Ranma?" Akane worried.

"The reason this hurts… Why I hurt… Why I'm here… is because I..." Ranma whispered. "Like girls."

Akane blinked. "So? I like girls too…"

Ranma facepalmed. "No. Not like that. I LIKE girls."

The blue-haired girl raised an eyebrow, clearly confused.

Ranma rubbed her temples, frustrated. "I like girls… a lot."

"And your point is?" Akane tried to figure out what was going on.

"Look, Akane…" Ranma took a deep breath. "I had a girlfriend once."

"Had? What does that mean? What did she stop being your friend for?" Akane asked.

The redheaded girl was hoping that her friend was just messing with her but that line confirmed it. "Look, you know how I hate boys."

"Me too!" Akane nodded, crossing her arms.

"That's not the poin-Ahh!" Ranma really wanted to punch something. "I don't like males at all. Period."

"So… you're saying you still think they're icky?" Akane guessed.

"ARRGG!" Ranma gripped her head. "I… am a lesbian, got it?"

Akane's jaw dropped.

Ranma got up and changed her clothes so fast that Akane didn't even see it.

"Now I guess this is goodbye, then." Ranma took a black comb and turned her hair black again, looking like a guy. "Don't tell my Mom… please… I don't want her to be in more pain."

"WAIT!" Akane grabbed Ranma's arm. "No! Don't go!"

Ranma frowned. "Why not? If I stay I'll be forced into something I hate. Thank you for everything, Akane…"

"No!" Akane held firm. "I don't care if you're a lesbian, I… I'll make sure you won't be forced with a guy! Please, don't go!"

Ranma looked down at Akane, who had started to cry.

"What should I do?" Ranma asked of her.

"Look, we'll think of something…" Akane encouraged.

"But what?" Ranma sighed. "I bet that your sisters would freak if they knew. Can't sleep where I like to anymore…"

Akane took a deep breath. "I don't care. Look, I might not be a lesbian, but you're a girl. And my friend. I stick up for both of them. Besides, Nabiki won't mind and Kasumi… Well… we just won't tell her."

Ranma groaned. "Still sucks, though. Can this day get any worse!?"

*KABLAM* The wall next to them burst open, revealing a purple-haired girl with giant maces that wouldn't be confused with lanterns.

"Nihao." Shampoo smiled.


Author's notes: dun dun DUNNN! Wow! Cliffhanger! Anyway, Kasumi is very traditional, so of course she will see things like that. Nabiki is modern and selfish, so… yeah. And Akane likes girls. She's not a lesbian, but she likes girls. And thus will stand up for them, even if they're lesbian. Oh, and Y2Ranma, Fullmetal Alchemest is closer to what Ranma is dealing with. What with being short and all. Ranma has a male like ego despite being a girl! ^_^ Anyway, I think I'll petition Noy to allow me to answer reviews up top. What do you think? Until next time, I'm the Text! Don't forget to wear green! Whoo!