WARNINGS/NOTES: female!Mokuba, stereotype-enforcing(?), NO INCEST

For every Mean Girls fan.

Sugar On The Asphalt: Foreign Language

She's everything Mokuba isn't, and that's why Mokuba hates her.

She's tall, elegant in an Armani number with five inch stilettos, dark hair straightened to perfection and blue-green eyes rimmed with black. Her natural features aren't that different from Mokuba's, and to Mokuba, it's like looking in a mirror and seeing what should be there versus what actually is.

Mokuba leans against the doorframe, casually dressed in skinny jeans and blue plaid flannel, dirtied Converse on her feet. She keeps her calm, because Seto has just introduced the woman and told her, "This is my sister Mokuba. She means the world to me," and that in itself should keep the woman at bay.

But even though it was Mokuba who pushed Seto to get himself out there and start dating, ("Seto, you're going to die single if you don't start soon,") she can't help but wish he hasn't listened to her. It's not that Mokuba doesn't want Seto to marry, it's just that this woman, whatever her name is, irritates Mokuba and Mokuba wants her gone.

All it had taken was one warm look for Mokuba to return it with ice.

"Nice to meet you," had said the woman.

"Or so I've heard," had replied Mokuba. It came off as a joke, but the lack of reciprocation spoke for itself.

Now they continue.

"She's studying law in Tokyo," states Seto.

"Actually, the firm I interned at ended up prosecuting Schroeder Corp. I'm sure you've heard of them?"

"Of course," laughs Mokuba. "Oh, I love your Louis bag. I think I saw it in the Winter collection display three years ago."

The insult flies right over Seto's head.

"Thank you," says the woman, and fixes her posture. "You know, I'm so glad Seto has a sister. Plenty of time for girl talk. Say, have you ever worn makeup? I think you should try. It would look good, I mean it."

Mokuba hates the way the woman refers to her brother by first name. Only she is allowed to do that! But Seto says nothing, and the woman's jab goes unnoticed.

Mokuba smiles. "No, I don't wear makeup. There's a group of girls at school who do, but they're known for their… loose morals, and I wouldn't want to be mistakenly associated with them. But I like it on you. It really brings out your… personality."

It's the most subtle insult yet, and clueless Seto decides this "girl talk" is a foreign language to him. On cue, his watch alarm goes off.

"We have to go," he says, ruffling Mokuba's hair, and proceeds to lead the woman out with him, to dinner.

The second time, the insults are sharper.

"I love your dress," says Mokuba. "It fits you well. Some women don't realize it's not about the size on the tag, it's about what it looks like on your body."

"Oh, I wouldn't know, but I feel like that's something one would learn from experience, no?" The woman smiles gently, but Mokuba can see the tiger in her eyes.

Yes, thinks Seto, this is a foreign language.

There is no third time. The woman doesn't show up. Seto throws up his arms. "She called and cancelled. On me! Who does she think she is?"

Mokuba looks up from the couch. "Did she give a reason?"

"Yes, she said she couldn't be with me if there was going to be tension between you and her." Seto's eyes narrow. "She was in hysterics for some other reason when she called, and said something about you being less than hospitable. Is that right?"

Mokuba gives Seto an innocent look. "The only times I interacted with her, you were there. Did you see me acting rudely towards her?"

Seto ponders. "No, actually, I just remember you two complimenting each other."

"Exactly. I think she's a bit of a nut, canceling on you and making up stuff about me."

Seto shakes his head. "Women."

Having blocked off his schedule accordingly, Seto has a bit of (gasp!) free time, and Mokuba convinces Seto to watch a movie with her. They haven't done this in years, she thinks, as she curls up next to him with hot chocolate in hand. And she can't help but feel bad for being selfish, but those thoughts fade away when Seto puts his arm around her shoulder.

Seto Kaiba may be fluent in many languages, including Japanese, English, and binary; he may be a child-prodigy-slash-genius, but as Mokuba figured out a long time ago, he will never comprehend the foreign tongues of the XX.

A/N: Inspired by the movie Mean Girls. Not trying to stereotype girls; I am a girl and I don't operate like that at all. I just thought this would be fun to write.

I've written a lot more female!Mokuba drabbles, but they're in first-person past-tense, most involving a relationship with psycho!Ryou (though he doesn't come off that way at first). Would you guys be interested?

Also, I'm turning Victims of Fate into a chapter story! I'm re-naming it "Recoil." Second chapter should be up soon. Thanks to all my readers/reviewers!

No flames please!