Author's Note: Just like on Christmas, I want to publish something on New Year. :) I haven't been getting any inspirations for It's Just an Act, Right?. I prefer writing and reading one-shots and drabbles, but that doesn't mean I don't read stories with chapters. :) I know this story is probably, like, super cliche, but yeah. I think Mikan's and Natsume's reactions to pick-up lines will be worth writing about. :)

Happy New Year, everyone! Wishing you a fulfilling year ahead! :D

Disclaimer: The usual. I don't own Gakuen Alice or any of its characters.

The Epic Fail


Summary: "Tono: Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me. Mikan: ... Isn't your last name Tonouchi? Natsume: Tch. Epic fail, pervert. Epic fail."

"Hey, Mikan! Over here!" Tono spotted Mikan trotting beside Natsume and called over to her, grinning and waving madly.

"Oh, Tono-senpai!" Mikan exclaimed, flashing her usual bright smile to her enthusiastic senior. She started to skip over to where Tono was lounging under a tree, a book titled Pick-up Lines balanced on his lap, but her raven-haired companion shot out a hand and grabbed her by the collar.

"Don't go near him. He's a pedophile and pervert," Natsume deadpanned.

Mikan rolled her eyes, "You're one to talk, Natsume." She wriggled free from Natsume's grip and flitted over to Tono's side. Her partner scoffed and followed her, hands shoved into his pockets. No way in hell was he going to let that pedophile be alone with Mikan for even a second.

"What's up, senpai?" Mikan grinned at Tono, settling down on the soft grass beside him.

Tono looked at her for a few good seconds before tilting her chin up with a finger. He gazed into her big brown eyes and drawled, "Your body is a wonderland and I wanna be Alice."


Natsume frowned at the cheesy pick-up line. Let go of her, bastard. He conjured a small flame in his hand, ready to turn Tono into BBQ pork.

"Aren't you already an Alice, Tono? You have the Amplification Alice," Mikan inquired, genuinely confused.

Natsume snorted, trying to keep his amusement from showing. Of course. She's a dense idiot. I should have known. He snorted once again and the flame in his hand disappeared.

Tono fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Uh, that's not what it's supposed to meant," he forced a smile.

"What's it supposed to mean?" Mikan questioned.

"... Forget it," Tono sighed in exasperation. He continued to look into Mikan's eyes and said seductively, "Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me."

"... Er, Tono-senpai? Isn't your last name Tonouchi? And I wasn't looking for you. I think Tsubasa-senpai is though. He was rambling on about you stealing his chocolates," the clueless brunette replied, frowning. "What's wrong with you today?"

"Tch, epic fail, pervert. Epic fail," Natsume tried to contain the urge to laugh.

Tono ignored both the cannot-be-denser Mikan and the taunting Natsume. He was determined to practice his pick-up lines, and he considered it a great achievement if he could get a slow girl like Mikan to melt with his sweet-talking abilities.

"I hope there's a fireman around, cause you're smokin'!" he continued, grinning.

"I don't smoke," Mikan frowned. "Smoking destroys your health, finances, looks, everything. It sucks."

"Much as I despise him, I don't think you should continue to torture him further," Natsume smirked. "His heart must be bleeding. Weren't you going to Imai's lab? Let's go."

Mikan pushed herself off the ground and cocked her head. "Of course, let's go! Tono-senpai is acting all weird and creepy today..."

She skipped away towards Hotaru's lab, humming a tune. Natsume smirked, leaning down and whispered in Tono's ear, "Are your legs tired, perv?"

Tono grinned knowingly and winked. "Aah, I know that one. Yep, they're tired. Now you're gonna say it's because I have been running in your mind all day, aren't ya? Aren't you sweet?"

"That's right." Natsume straightened up. "You've been running in my mind all day all right, morbid. You've been running through my mind because I'm plotting which is the best way to slaughter you. Do you want to be dribbled with honey before I roast you?"

That sucked, right? It was cliche, random and... weird. Nevertheless, reviews are appreciated. :) Have a happy, happy, happy new year! :D