Yes I got a plot bunny for the obligatory Akatsuki turns into kittens story. Don't hate me universe.
But at least I finally worked up the courage to actually post something. Here's hoping someone likes it!
I hate mornings, but that is beside the point. At least I didn't have to go to school today, thank Jashin for weekends. Saturdays were probably the best day of the week, no school to worry about, so I could watch a ton of anime without interruptions. Ah the joys of addiction.
"Yeah! Time for a day without movement!" I exclaimed as I did my morning ritual. Eating, brushing teeth and hair, the works. I looked behind me, smiling lightly at the posters adorning my room. I hadn't watched some anime in forever, but certain characters never really got boring for me.
I connected my laptop to the tv, grabbed some snacks and drinks, then plopped down on the couch. While watching a few episodes I already knew I hooked up my tablet to the small computer and started to draw. Nothing really came of it, but I enjoyed it.
It was almost noon when there was a bang at the front door. I swore before pausing everything and scrambling for the door, a process that actually took a few minutes because of all the stuff I had going. "This better be good..." I growled out as I opened, but I was reduced to silence when there was no one on the steps. "Stupid kids. Someone's gonna get sprayed later." I made a mental note to bring the hose out front. The garden hose was one of my favorite home weapons.
I was pulled out of my thoughts at the sound of meowing. I looked down, staring at the sight in front of me.
"Shit. Kittens. Someone knows my weakness."
"Ouch! Brat, get off my tail!" Sasori snapped.
"Sorry Danna, un." The blonde exclamation as he shifted.
"But what the hell? Why are we cats dammit?" Hidan swore as he stopped scratching the walls, Kakuzu smacked him before his swears went overboard. No need to traumatize Tobi. "Screw you Kakuzu!"
"I don't know, but it certainly seems we're not anywhere I've seen before." Itachi mewed out, his dark eyes looking to the outside of their box once again. "I think there is reason to believe that we are in a different world all together."
"I have to agree with you Itachi. I've never seen most of this technology before, and the scenery really is strange." Pein looked up from conversing with Konan. "For now, try to act like cats if we someone shows up. It would be troublesome if we aroused suspicion."
"Sure. But I would like to know how we even got here. What exactly happened?" Kisame asked. Zetsu wondered the same thing.
"Deidara was chasing Tobi through the hideout, as usual, but somehow they found a new room in the part we don't use anymore." Itachi explained. "Inside they found a control panel, something most of us saw before Tobi pressed something." The Uchihas eyes shone red as he glared at the now orange and black kitten.
"Tobi is sorry! Tobi didn't know pressing a button would send them away! Tobi is sorry!" All the members glared, and if looks could kill Tobi would be long gone.
"There was a flash and a bang, then the next thing any of us know; we're being put in a box by some man, and dropped off on this doorstep." Itachi finished, looking up at the cardboard walls again. They were too high for any of them to scramble out of. Hidan had tried a number of times, essentially slamming the thick cardboard against the door a few moments ago.
"So what do we do now Pein-sama?" Konan asked.
The orange cat sighed. "I am not sure. We are going to have to find a way back home, but finding a way to be human again would be a good step forward."
"I agree with that, un"
"I just wish my money hadn't vanished. Maybe we could bribe someone."
"Kakuzu, I don't think people would take money from cats. Would you?"
Kisame sighed. "I should have known."
Suddenly the door in front of them opened, and a girl came out with a frown on her face. She looked extremely annoyed. "Stupid kids. Someone's gonna get sprayed later." She spoke, and the Akatsuki set to screaming, or meowing, at the top of their lungs.
"Hey girlie! Look over here and get us out of her!" Hidan yowled, and when she didn't respond, he only got louder. "Bitch! I'll sacrifice you to Jashin-sama!" After a moment, she seemed to snap out of her thoughts and notice the box of kittens at her door step.
"Shit. Kittens. Someone knows my weakness." She stated and promptly grabbed the box and pulled it inside. "I never can pass up a feline." She said as she looked them over. "And ten of you? Gosh, I hit the mother load today didn't I?" The girl put the case down on the floor, and sat down in front of them.
"Weird girl, not asking any questions about ten cats." Kisame noted as the girl started to put away what looked like snacks.
"I don't think we're in any position to say anything Kisame." Itachi told his partner. When the girl appeared again, they all went silent.
"Let's see what we've got here..." She spoke half to herself, half to the kittens. "Kitties, my name is Zira. I have no idea how you got to my place, but I am certainly not complaining. And yes, I do think cats can understand people. Leave me alone."
"She has no idea..." Sasori deadpanned, causing meows of laughter to come from Hidan and Deidara.
"Tobi likes the nice lady!" Tobi exclaimed, catching the attention of Zira. She picked him up first.
"I suppose I should name you all, huh? Well, you'll be Candy, because your face looks like a lollipop." She said.
"Tobi likes candy!" Zira smiled at his meows before setting him down, she picked up Deidara next.
"Hm...I like Lightning for you little guy." She stated. "A blonde kitten, huh? Odd, although most of you look a bit weirder. Not a bad thing though."
"At least she can name things, un." The blonde said, not too upset about his new name.
"Now for the rest of you!"
I picked a kitten at random next, gasping at the sight of a light blue kitten. "Aw, you are the cutest thing ever!" I swear that cat blushed. "You are going to be named...Iris, because your color reminds me of it!" I placed her next to Lightning and Candy.
The next one was a dark orange, with black and gray spots all over his face, and purple looking eyes. "You guys aren't dyed are you? Because that would be so wrong. You're Silver by the way, because I lack anything else." When I placed him on the seat next to me, he hissed slightly back at the others in the box. "What, are you their leader? Help me keep them in line then." My imagination told me that the cat nodded.
The next kitten was pure black, with similarly colored eyes. "You are Midnight." and another was dark blue, with markings on each side of his face that made me think of a sharks gills. "Will Same work? It means Shark in Japanese...or maybe I should just name you Kisame and get my addiction out of the way." When I said that, all the kittens got really quiet, even the silver gray one who had kept up a steady racket until now.
"Kisame it is. I am such an Akatsuki fangirl." I shook my head, and went onto the next kitten. "I guess you've been in some fights, with all those stitch marks. We'll call you Stitches then." I pulled the crimson one and the half black and half...green? one up next. "Flame, and Cactus because of you're coloring." The cats didn't mind too much, although Cactus seemed to meow to himself a lot.
"Last one!" I exclaimed, as I took the last one in my arms. "I shoulda named Silver something else. You're silver. Although that mark gives me some ideas" I said, poking the chest of the silver cat. His silver fur worked in great contrast to the Jashin symbol in black. "Jashin-sama, huh? You better not start sacrificing things mister." The kitten acted shocked as I spoke. "You'll be Hidan then."
I placed him down, surprised to see that all ten kittens had stayed where I had put them. I had assumed that they would have wandered around or something while I named their companions. Maybe they were a bit overwhelmed by what was going on, but I had a feeling that they'd get over it.
"What the fuck? How the hell does she know about Akatsuki and Jashin-sama?" Hidan yowled.
"It beats me, I've never heard of any place like this before, so maybe she's a ninja?" Kisame suggested.
Both Pein and Itachi shook their feline heads. "She has almost no chakra, it is hard to tell for sure, and she mentioned us so casually..." Itachi mussed.
"We are keeping an eye on this girl, she obviously knows about Akatsuki. I want to know how much!" Pein snapped. The others nodded in agreement.
"Well, who wants to eat?" The girl suddenly spoke, appearing from what appeared to be a kitchen, holding two dishes in one hand and a bowl of water in the other. She deposited them next to the coffee table and pulled Itachi and Konan down on the floor. "I'll feel better if you all eat something. So I'm spoiling you, with what kibble I could find, tuna, and fresh water. Dig in kitties."
"The hell is this stuff, hm?" Deidara said, sniffing the kibble. He tentatively took a bite. "It's not horrible, but the tuna is way better, un." As the others started to eat, Zira smiled.
"At least it's edible." Kakuzu grumbled. "And free."
"Fresh meat would be better. But at least it isn't vegan." Zetsu commented between bites.
"Good, now that you're all fed, I'm getting back to anime." Zira said. She pulled her laptop closer to herself and clicked through the internet. She pulled up something random and watched the day away, and the kittens were enraptured by it all. Some of them especially liked Bleach, and Zira put that down to all the color in the anime.
Zira glanced at the clock, curious about the time. It was almost midnight, and the kittens were starting to doze as well. The girl pulled herself off the couch and headed upstairs for the shower. Upon seeing her leave the room Pein ordered everyone to follow her, but they were shut out of the bathroom by the raven haired girl.
When the door opened again Zira was just in a robe, something that Konan did not want the others to see. She got Pein to have them turn around until the girl was clothed. Oblivious to the insanity, the teen pulled on pajamas in her room and flopped into bed. The kittens followed her in and started to settle in various places all over her room. "Guess I have new roommates huh?" She mumbled to no one in particular before falling asleep, and the Akatsuki quickly followed suit.
Well? I hope that turned out okay. As for anyone who knows me as an writer, don't kill me for abandoning my other stories. I'm weird like that.
Review please! I know someone is out there, I see you reading this.