The Demon Within
Summary: Edward suppressed his need for human blood decades ago and has lived a good and virtuous life since then. Will his unparalleled desire for Bella's blood unleash his demons once more? AU.
This was written for the Fandom for Texas Fundraiser compilation.
Warnings: Somewhat canon to a point, but it has the word demon in the title for a reason.
The amazing and talented vbfb1 made me a gorgeous banner for this fic - : http :/edwardsisobel . blogspot . com/2011/10/ fandom4texas-fundraiser-contribution . html (remove the spaces)
i thought maybe
i thought this would go away
but it continues
the only constant
every day stronger
i will use my voice
and i will use my fist
everything i can
now I know
what this is all about
now I know
exactly what I am
there is a seed
inside of me
that makes me
(From: Demon Seed by Nine Inch Nails)
I try to resist your charms.
God knows how I try.
Countless hours wrapped up in your scent. The aroma of your blood and of your body, driving me crazy little by little, until the sanity I claw onto is hanging by a thread. A tenuous thread of love and respect and humanity which is shredding until, as I fear, there is but a single twine left. A tiny remnant that will snap and splinter like glass shards with the smallest of encouragement from you.
I warn you.
God knows how often I tell you.
Never-ending conversations about my true nature, about what I really am deep inside, dark and monstrous, regardless of my sparkling external casing. You never believe me yet the consequences of what you ask for are unknown. I've tried to prepare you as much as I can, but in the end the decision is yours and I will acquiesce this time. I have crumbled against your persistence, because deep down I crave it too.
I tell you that I will do as you want.
God knows how much I want it too.
Your eyes sparkle and your lips curve into a smile so brilliant I almost have to look away. I temper my enthusiasm by thinking of all the things that can go wrong. You make me promise to turn you if things go wrong; you tell me that you are not worried, you are determined to be like me one day. I try again to remind you of how young you are and you counter by reminding me that your body is ready, your mind is ready and that you are absolutely ready to spend eternity with me.
I set the date and the time.
God knows how much I prepare.
The house is ours for the weekend. Once they knew why I was asking them, my family took very little convincing to disappear. I hope I can live up to their faith in me, their optimism that I can do this. I have my doubts but my mind is made up now. I want to give you this. I want this for myself too. I know I'm selfish but I can't turn back, I want you now regardless of the consequences.
I pace waiting for you to arrive
God knows how nervous I am.
The truck rumbles up the driveway and it's loud in the still night air. The sound reverberates around my chest in place of my long dead heart. It calms me oddly; you're here and I am ready—as ready as I'll ever be. You slam the door in your nervousness and jump at your own action. I am out of the door and scoop you up as if you weigh nothing and you squeal, in delight, or fear, I'm not exactly sure. You slap at my arm ineffectually for scaring you but you smile widely as you do it. I kiss you gently like always, and then to show you my determination, I deepen it for the first time.
I am careful with you still.
God knows how careful I am.
Our breaths catch at the intensity of the kiss. Your lips are soft and your mouth warm as I twine my tongue with yours. I cup your face in my hands and move your head slightly to the side, then kiss you as I have dreamed of kissing you from the moment we met. Deeply, passionately, thoroughly. The feel of you so warm and soft in my arms heightens my arousal, and I can tell when you detect the change in my scent. It's a lure that vampires instinctually use to trick their prey to come closer. And even though my intent for you is different, my body still produces it to tempt you, and you are—very tempted.
I hope this is the perfect night.
God knows the effort that I have gone to.
I see you smile when you hear your favorite music playing softly in the background. You tell me that the glass of sparkling wine I hand you as we enter the dining room is delicious. You sample a little from each of your favorite dishes I've prepared for you, and moan throatily when you get to the strawberries dipped in chocolate with a little side dish of whipped cream. Your eyes roll back in your head and I wonder if you will react the same later when you sample me. I hope so. I want to make everything perfect for you for your first time—my first time.
I walk with you up the stairs to my room.
God knows how much restraint it takes not to grab you and run there.
My new bed is enormous, taking up a good part of my normally spacious room. It's sturdy and sumptuous with four solid posts, reinforced base, and silken covers. You blush as the reality of what we are about to do hits you. Venom floods my mouth at the sight of your blood so close to the surface of your skin. I swallow and take your hand, kissing it before leading you to the side of the bed. You are dressed in a forest green dress like the one you wore for your ill-fated birthday last year, and I hope it's not an omen. I suppress the shudder that threatens to engulf me at the thought that tonight might end the same—you, broken and bleeding and me, a hungry vampire out of control.
I undress you slowly, revealing your pale skin to my eyes.
God knows how much I want to devour your right now.
My fingers skim tentatively over every inch of white flesh revealed, my lips following their path immediately after. Your arousal is overpowering but I retain my composure until you remind me that I am fully clothed still. I don't want to leave your skin for a moment. My lips are lingering on your perfect pale pink nipples while my fingers twist and skim over the dark curly hair lightly covering your sex. You're warm and smell so good and the sounds you make as I run the tip of my finger along the seam of your nether lips is contagious. I start to kiss my way down, eager to taste the arousal coating my fingers but you tug at my hair to get my attention.
I stand immobile as you peel off my shirt and unzip my pants.
God knows I could do it quicker but you want this.
You step back and admire me when it's done. Your eyes linger on my chest and then cling to my manhood, jutting out hard and proud at your keen perusal. I can tell I please you by your scent flooding my room, but the way you bite your lip shows me that you are nervous too. You realize you are staring and lift your eyes to mine with a blush. I close the gap between us and whisper how much I want you, how much I need you more than life itself, and lift you tenderly onto my bed.
I watch you lying there watching me.
God knows I can't take my eyes of your flawless body.
The blush on your face as you see the desire on mine spreads down your body, following the path my eyes take, as I drink in your perfection. I reach for myself automatically, an urge I've not given into before, driven by my need to slake the throbbing of my arousal. Your eyes widen as you take in my hand slowly stroking my erection; you lick your lips when you spot the silvery drop of venom leaking from me. Unconsciously you part your legs, ever so slightly, so that I can see how moist you have become for me. I groan, and faster than you can see, I am on the bed and spreading your legs open even more before dipping down and swiping the moisture from your slit with my tongue.
I taste bliss and I want more.
God knows how much more I want.
The moans and breathless sighs you make as I pleasure you with my tongue make a mockery of all the concerns I had that I couldn't do this, that I wouldn't know my own strength and hurt you. You sound anything but in pain now as I flick the tip of my tongue over your clit and slide my middle finger into your hot, wet channel. I massage the rough patch of skin inside you, the place I've learned from countless minds is nirvana for a woman, and you clamp down hard on my fingers as you come. I suck on your clit gently to lengthen your release and you call out to God and tell him how good I make you feel. I feel like a God right at that moment, proud of myself for being able to make you feel this way.
I know it's time now and I am eager.
God knows how eager I am to feel your warm body enveloping me.
You start to tense a little as I climb fully onto the bed, and over your prone form. I lean down to kiss you softly and whisper that I love you. I kiss your breasts and then your mouth as I ready myself at your entrance. I ask if you are ready, and your quick nod along with your slumberous eyes tell me all I need to know. I push into you slowly and it is like I have found the gateway to heaven; your heat envelops me and you're tight, oh so tight around me.
I know that I will cause you pain.
God knows how much I wish that I wouldn't.
Your body stretches around mine, a little easier on each stroke and then I am at your barrier and I pause for just a moment before I push through. And then everything changes—for the best or worst I'm not sure. I smell your blood and it's intoxicating, even more so than the time I sucked it straight from your vein when I drew James's venom from your arm. This time your blood and your lust are mixed together, and the control I have been so proud of earlier becomes non-existent.
I've taken your innocence yet I want more.
God has no idea how much more I want.
I can see it in your eyes when you notice the change in mine. I am no longer the shell of a man I've been hiding inside of for all of these years. I am myself again; the demon inside has been freed by this most primal of acts. You have released me from my cage and I can see you are afraid of me, and conversely, more excited by me at the same time. I am no longer the sweet and gentle Edward that you knew. I am sexy and demanding and I want you with a fierceness you've never experienced. I grip your hips tighter as I slam my cock into you, grazing your nipple with my teeth as I do so. You hiss with pain but I know you love it when your arousal coats me and trickles onto the silk sheets.
I know I will only be satisfied when you give me everything.
There is no God where I dwell.
Pleasure like nothing I've experienced before spreads through my body and I can feel my release fast approaching. Pure instinct draws my mouth to your long graceful neck. Your head is thrown back and your legs have crept around my waist as I pound into you. As I lick your throat, I can feel the blood thundering through your veins against my tongue. You grip my cock with your body as you get closer to your own little death, and as I start to empty into you, my teeth latch onto your skin and break through.
I gorge on your blood as I come and it tastes like ambrosia.
There is only us now.
My demon seed spills into your body in hard, cold spurts. I feel you shiver and then shake as I become a part of you. Your brown eyes darken to black and I know that you are almost like me now, my soon-to-be mate. I grudgingly withdraw my teeth from where they are lodged deep in your throat and lick the wound to close it. I need to push more of my venom into you to effect the change properly, so I bite again on the plump globes of your breasts nicking the vein just beneath, seal the wounds and then move down to your mound. I linger on that bite and savor the scent of your arousal as I claim you fully. You are mine now, Isabella.
I reflect on my life since I let loose my inner demon.
You and I, we make our own rules and we're not beholden to anyone.
There is something beautiful about being true to yourself and willingly embracing all that you are without regret. Not denying ourselves what we need, what we crave. Old habits die hard though and we are selective as to from whom we feed; I'm not completely without a soul. You laugh when I say that, because when I was trying so hard to be good and virtuous like my family, I never thought I had a soul at all.
Now I know what this is all about. Now I know exactly what I am.
AN: Thank you to cocoalvin for your wonderful efforts in beta'ing this little fic. Love you bb.