June 26, 2009


New Orleans

Randy was breathing hard. They had been going at it for hours and he could feel his body cooling down. Feeling the actions of not resting and continuous muscle working. Staring up at his ceiling he swallowed and looked at Astarte with a look of wonderment. "That was..."

He couldn't even finish. Never had he had sex like that before. And being what he was he knew how amazing it was to be with him, but to be with Astarte was the highest experience he could ever go. That anyone could ever go. Looking past her to the clock on the nightstand he saw the time. 4 hours of non-stop sex. Randy had taken his time with her, giving her attention and making her feel the full effects of being with his kind and then she would take over and he couldn't even remember his own name.

"After all that I don't think I'll ever be the same." A laugh left him and then a tired smile. Relaxing made it very clear just how worn out his body was and he knew that he would have to sleep for at least a whole day to recover physically.



Alex blinked, trying to process everything he just said and what he just called her. "Excuse me, but I don't think you have any right to talk to me like that. I haven't gone what you have gone through, I have no inclination of ever saying yes to Lucifer no matter how fancy he wraps his plans or offer to me in fucking bow. And I hate Astarte sure but I don't intend on doing something like that to her just because Lucifer is holding a leash that isn't there! Did you ever think then that maybe our wrong choices could have been avoided if someone had found a way to get me out or better yet find a way to keep me down? I admit I got a little crazy with the fun once I got up but I did NOT cause this. Not yet. So damn it I am not her. I have never been that cruel to want to turn the world like this. I might act like I hate you guys but I can never truth be stop loving you guys. Especially you Dean."

Her voice broke and she had to fight back the tears as she cursed and sucked in her lips, kicking out at whatever was on the floor in her path. Alex glared at the floor.

"Don't you think I have screwed up enough? Apparently so much that even before Astarte killed my parents they still had the knack to find a way to see me as a screw up. How can I be good or bad? Finding a medium right now where I am at is a joke. I'm messed up royally inside of my skin and I can't help it. I don't know how to help it so I act in the only way I know. The only way I have been carved." A beat. "Frankly I don't even know who I am anymore and that is why I am doing the things I am doing in 2009." Licking her lips she brought her eyes up. "You should know that this is how I am when I really damn hard telling the truth. But if it's to get it out in some way and make you not hate me or not kill me enough right now for me to figure this all out. To fix the choices that were made-Can you please tell me more? What all happened? What do I need to do?"

Dean didn't flinch against her flood of emotions and his heart did not tremble or break for her, he was long past feeling anything of the sort. It was like his face was set in stone as he watched her break in front of him, it wasn't the first time she had and likely not the last. She was lost like them all but none of them were the goddamn Anti-Christ. They were all cursed one way or another but they still wanted to save the planet, Alex just wanted to watch everything burn.

"Say yes to Astarte, or convince Dean to say yes to Michael. At least then we can stand a chance." He shook his head at her then because he knew it was a lost cause. "But I know you won't, and Dean won't either because I didn't. What else could you possibly want to know, it's not going to change your mind because you're going to think that there's some other way of fixing this when there isn't." His voice was deceptively cool but there was hate and menace laced into each breath like a serpent. "I'll never stop hating you, Alex, ever. But since Astarte has a sense of humor she sent you instead of someone else, she has a reason and if it was to kill you she would have done it herself." Now all Dean needed to do was figure out what that reason was because convincing her it was right to agree with Astarte was going to be a bitch.

She knew he was right. There was no way either of them would say yes. Alex didn't react to his hate and she knew that there was nothing in the world if she wanted to, that could ever fix things between them. Or anyone possibly..."Then if she hasn't killed me for a reason, why are you not stepping up to the plate? If you want me dead so bad I don't think Astarte sending me here for a reason would ever stop anyone from doing it themselves. I'd rather be under Alistair's knife again for years before ever considering to say yes to any side. So far you haven't explained much and maybe that makes me think that the world might not be worth keeping the way it is if that's everyone's case here. How do I know that it won't end up this way as well if Astarte gets her way? I'll be controlled either way and the intentions of the owner might not even be known by you if I choose a different path. Did you ever think of that other than revenge?"

Dean grabbed a hold of Alex's throat with such force there was no way she could have screamed. His free fist buried itself in her abdomen, the singular punch rupturing blood vessels and upsetting the balance of organs and if there was not such a tight seal around Alex's neck blood would have spurted out like a weak hose. Lifting the brunette as if she were a feather her body flew closer to that of a rock into the opposing wall where it crumpled in a heap. A heavy boot found itself in Alex's gut next, then swiftly her face was kicked back with a snap alarmingly her neck did not break in that instant. Planting his foot down on her side Dean reached over for her hand and gripping it viciously tight he pulled and twisted until there was a distinctive pop and her entire arm went limp. Whatever sound she made was short lived when Dean lifted her onto her feet and landed a punch squarely to her jaw, pulling her head back by her hair to alternate the punch with his other fist, this continued until her face was good and bloody.

Pressing her against the wall Dean's fingers slowly wrapped around Alex's left collarbone, nails scraping away the first layers of skin until the fingers punctured through the rest and he began to pull at the bone until small fractures appeared in three places. Stepping back from his work Dean swung his arm out to the side, Alex's body followed that path into the adjacent wall and then swung upwards into the ceiling where Dean kept her suspended before he lowered his arm and let her free fall to the cement floor. A broken mess of what she was Dean grabbed her by her good arm and dragged her towards the door, out and upwards letting her feel each step bite and scrape into her body. Leaving the building he dragged her down to the end of the alley.

"I'm going to show you something," was all he said when he lifted her across his back and started to carry her down a broken roadway.

Her breathing was ragged and barely there. She could practically feel her own pulse thready and yet she was still alive. Every part of her screamed and burned but she couldn't move. Alex knew she couldn't scream or say anything, her eyes were heavy and with each step Dean took blood dripped from her face. Nothing could get the fact that Dean had hurt her and in the way he had it made her freaked out. Just what kind of monster had Dean been turned into?

'You deserve this...you bitch...' the words seemed to come into her brain and she could hear it like an old memory. A familiar companion that had long since left her but it was nothing but that. A figment and not real. By the time Dean set her down she made a sound like she was going to vomit blood when he grabbed her hair to make her look at something. The problem was...Alex had no idea what she was looking at or supposed to see.

This place held no fond memories for Dean. It was a flattened heap of rubble flanked on all sides by slabs of concrete and brick and if one knew what to look for splotches of brown stains marked where blood had been spilt a long time ago. Dean was tucked into a crouch next to Alex, never loosening his grip, staring out in the space as he remembered what took place, felt the essence left behind and saw the faint wisps of that essence take form like pale incomplete phantoms before dissappearing entirely within the span of a blink.

"Take a minute to soak it in sweetheart. This is where it all went down, it's annoyingly ironic how everything happens in New York, huh? But there we were duking it out. It's the only thing left of her and you'd be a liar to say you can't feel it, that energy, or echo or whatever the fuck it is, it surrounds this whole place and nothing ever comes near it because it's fucking afraid to. I knew Astarte better than any of you, even Sam had a tough time getting a grasp on what she was, this confused and horrible monster that mocked his memories of Von. So tell me, what is it you feel?"

She wasn't anything like Von but she wasn't evil like we all thought, she tried to save all of us, Dean thought wearily while he held Alex's head firmly in place.

Staring out, inhaling with a struggle Alex felt like all the earth had died in that one spot. All life had been wiped out and it was all her fault. Darkness had become of the entire world and there was no light, no nothing. A memory had wracked her brain and her body jerked with the power of it. Down in the pits of Hell, in the spot where no one dared adventure. The memory of her meeting Astarte and binding. Alex felt like her veins were exploding with pure light and she actually found herself screaming and not able to stop. The scream ripped out sounding like a prehistoric animal.

Alex somehow grabbed Dean's hand despite how badly she was and fell back into his hand. Staring up into his face as she relived the horrible memory and then she saw it. The battle that had happened. Her eyes rolled black and blue and she wasn't viewing from her body she was viewing as if she stood between them like the air itself.

Astarte was standing before a decked out war clothed Alex. Hair up and blood and dirt on her face like paint. Guns, swords and knives hanging all over her as if this was a war in another country. Alex was breathing hard and she dropped the machine she was holding. Her eyes the color of a perfect blue moon in the middle, no pupil, as the black had tendrils to the color as if it wanted to touch the magnificent hue, both colors battling but never winning. Different than they had been in years.

Hand snapping out as a cry of anger came, the power surged toward the wounded Astarte. The Goddess gave everything she had. No one could possibly win and then he came. Walking from behind Alex, Sam grinned, dressed as usual but he wasn't Sam. Not entirely. Once his hand touched Alex, snaked down her own arm, right on right, fingers on her fingers and his frame pressed against hers to make them one. That was when the power grew overtaking the other spectrum.

Others were around, others fighting the enemies and yet nothing mattered in that moment but what was going on between them. The power crawled towards Astarte as her hair flew in directions around and behind her, both hands out in front as her eyes swirled.

Alex stopped screaming and stopped breathing. The moment of death, she was inside Astarte's body as she felt the hatred, she felt the power, she felt just how much it took to kill such a being. To kill a Goddess. Feeling Dean release her hair for some reason, Alex's body fell limp to the earth, eyes staring endlessly out to the very spot where she had been burned like an arson lighting up a tree. Ashes and gone...The wisps of essence that tended to remain in the land coaxed the images of a world better off, no one died, nothing suffered and no one was destroyed to think something else. Something destructive or wrong.

It was Astarte's world. What she wanted to do. Alex saw that within and she inhaled sharply. Sitting up in horrible pain and she frantically looked around, she was no longer where she had been. She was still injured beyond repair and she found she was alone. No Dean. Back where she had started. Laying back down Alex curled into a ball, as much as she could as she shook now and then from the shock. From the pain.

Astarte appeared in a flurry of wind and dust before Alex's fetal form. Randy had satisfied her for now but there was only so much she could do with him before she broke her promise to prevent any real change in him. Certainly he had been changed, but the effects were not tragically drastic. She could see too that Alex's mood was changed from her recent experiences. "What do you think of Lucifer's future?" she queried.

What did she think? Alex could barely move and speak and she was asked what she thought? Showing her eyes to Astarte she knew the only way to communicate right now. I think I will not let that happen. There are times where I know it doesn't seem I don't care for the world and the people but I would be lying if I agreed with that. I also care for Sam and Dean...they shouldn't have to turn in that direction. And I felt that power I felt it all.

Inhaling roughly and closing her eyes she swallowed long and hard.

I'll help you...but I also need your help...to fix me. Alex opened her eyes. Not just physically...but all of me.


Dean woke to the sound of shattering glass and gunfire, he and Sam only taking a brief second to share a glance before they raced to the front to check on Bobby and Sorcha. Thumbing back the hammer Dean immediately took aim at the figures that were clambering over the window ledges, the lights remained on overhead but it was unnerving how a heavy shadow preceded and followed the creatures, dimming the lights and casting everything else in blackness. Firing, Dean didn't think about not shooting, weather the iron bullets he had in his gun worked or not wasn't a detail he had time to consider. It was shoot and hope that the creepy bastards went down while trying to think of an escape or stand there like a dumb shit wondering what the hell they were. They looked human enough, but there was something weird about their faces that he couldn't make up his mind about.

"What the hell are they Bobby?"

"Does it look like I have a damn clue?" the elder hunter retorted shooting one of the things that ventured too close to him. It stopped and bobbed its head down and over to the side with a strange inhuman grace, obviously unaffected by whatever rounds Bobby was using in his gun. None the less it was apparently irritated at the hunter as it hissed at him but as it readied to lunge Sorcha threw herself at it and locked her jaws around it's throat, swinging her weight down her fangs shredded the thing's neck as she pulled it down with her. "Hell of a dog," Bobby observed as the hunters grouped close together with eyes on all sides to stop the creatures from flanking them.

Dean loaded another clip in his gun and chambered a round before firing. "How the fuck are we going to get out of here?" Whatever these things were they weren't exactly easy to see, their shapes sifting in and out of the shadows now to the point Dean couldn't tell where they were standing and where they weren't. The only way he could tell was if one got close enough for him to shoot properly, and that was a little too close for his comfort.

Sam was using his gun. That was probably the problem. Realizing what he was doing made him furrow his brows. He was also a werewolf and they needed to save all the ammo they had left. Dropping it and looking at his wounds he found that they were reasonable, they had to be with how he was shot with lots of silver. But not entirely healed, maybe hours or the rest of the day. Deciding instantly Sam stepped forward. Feeling Dean's hand on his arm he turned his head to his brother knowing his eyes were the swirling amber and his teeth were changing. Giving a nod of understanding Sam ran out and tore with his hands at anything he grabbed.

He knew they were thrown off but then they looked almost pleased with their faces that made him slightly dizzy. Letting loose a loud growl he snapped with his teeth and continued as he heard the gunshots firing around him.