Let us study Vietnam
Stan Marsh just had lunch and he knew it was time to get started on his report on Vietnam.
"Dad I'm going over to Wendy's to work with her on my Vietnam Report."
Randy put his beer down and responded "wait don't you usually work with the guys on reports like this?"
Stan answered "well I'm going to work with Wendy on this one."
Randy said firmly "okay but no naughty behavior over there."
Stan snapped "DAD!"
Randy began laughing then suggested he see Uncle Jimbo and Ned for information on Vietnam.
Stan said "NO WAY! Do you remember what happened last time I went to them for help on Vietnam? The guys and I ended up in detention and we ended up on a stupid talk show it was a disaster."
Randy answered "I don't remember any of that."
Stan just shrugged and walked out the door.
When he got to Wendy's house he said "usually I school projects with the guys but I definitely look forward to working with you on this project."
Stan begins flirting with Wendy but she gets firm with him and says "Stan we're going to work and not have a romantic evening."
Stan is taken back and says "alright."
They get started on the report and Stan says "I wanted to watch Hamburger Hill but my mom said 'no' because it's rated R."
Wendy said "well Stan it is violent and I don't want my man to have nightmares from violent movies."
Wendy pinches Stan's cheek and he smiles.
Stan commented "my Uncle Jimbo's friend Ned lost an arm in Vietnam but I won't go to either of them for help after the way they fucked us over last year."
Wendy begins giggling and said "you and your friends looked stupid on that show and that Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka was retarded."
Stan snapped "it's not funny."
Wendy puts her arm around Stan and says "relax" and then puts her other arm around him in a warm embrace. Stan begins to breathe deeply.
Wendy goes on to say "the nurses in Vietnam had it rough. They had to see the most deplorable injuries you could imagine."
Stan said "Ho Chin Minh was a bastard."
Wendy giggles and says "Cartman would be a dictator just like him if given the chance."
Stan bursts out laughing.
LATER THAT NIGHT STAN GETS TO MEET WENDY'S PARENTS.
Stan was chewing up his chicken and after he swallowed it he said "Mister Testaburger and Mrs. Testaburger I'm glad to be here."
Mister Testaburger stated "I understand you and my daughter are very close."
Stan responded "I'd rather be dead than have to be without Wendy."
Wendy's parents are very touched and think the comment was sweet.
Mister Testaburger asks how the report is coming and they say they're already done. Mister Testaburger goes on to explain how his daughter loves her school work and is also involved in breast cancer awareness.
Stan commented "Eric Cartman made fun of the whole breast cancer thing so she beat the crap out of him."
Since Wendy was sitting right by Stan she leaned her leg over and stomped on his foot and whispered "shut up you idiot."
Wendy's mom asked if she went ahead and actually beat up Eric Cartman and Wendy replied "Stan is such a kidder."
After dinner snow hits but Stan was already going to spend the night with Wendy anyhow.
Wendy continued on with the discussion about Vietnam Nurses and said "I am so inspired by them. I think I'd love to be a nurse or a doctor."
Stan suggested "practice on me then."
Wendy turns to Stan and says "okay drop your pajamas and cough."
Stan exclaims "WHAT!"
Wendy starts laughing and Stan is shocked.
Wendy says "it's called a hernia exam where the doctor has to squeeze your balls while you turn your head and cough to see if it hurts."
Stan says "I know what it is I had to get that done to play for the South Park Cows."
Wendy giggles and Stan snaps "IT'S NOT FUNNY!"
Wendy says "relax" and begins giving Stan a massage.
At 10 PM they both fall asleep.
Stan is on a helicopter with Kyle and Kenny is operating a giant machine gun and shooting out the window at Vietcong Soldiers.
Kyle says "man it sucks Cartman got out of this because he didn't pass the fucking physical."
Stan replies "well fuck that fat ass bastard."
Kyle asks "why did we come here?"
Stan answered "well we love America so we'll fight for America."
All of the sudden the chopper is hit and all three boys are thrown around.
Kyle yells "WE'RE GOING TO CRASH!"
Sure enough they crashed into a big field and Kenny was crushed to death under the chopper.
Stan exclaimed "Oh My God They Killed Kenny!"
Kyle yelled "YOU GOOK BASTARDS!"
Stan observes what can be seen of Kenny's legs and the lake of blood.
Stan asks "how the hell can a 10 year old have that much blood?"
Kyle responded "well why are 10 year olds going to Vietnam anyhow?"
Before Stan could answer he saw Kyle get shot in the leg.
Kyle lets out a loud screech and then another bullet takes Kyle's head off.
Stan yells "KYLE NO!"
Blood spattered all over Stan and he ran as fast as he could up the hill.
When he got up the hill he saw Cartman standing at the top. Cartman turned around with a triple cheeseburger in his hand.
Stan was shocked and Cartman said "welcome to Hamburger Hill Stan."
Stan yelled "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING CARTMAN?"
Cartman answered "I joined the Vietcong Stan. Hey Kenny didn't have much green money but he had a lot of red blood."
Cartman starts laughing hard at his own joke and Stan gets so furious he feels his heart beat like thunder in his chest. Cartman continues laughing and went on to say "hey the kike bastard bled just as much as the poor boy."
Stan yells "CARTMAN WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU JOIN THE VIETCONG ARMY?"
Cartman laughed and said "I was pissed off that the America Army wouldn't take me. Now I have the opportunity to laugh about the fact Kenny and the Jew are no more."
Stan began sweating and his level of rage was high as could be.
Stan yelled "CARTMAN YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR FUCKING DICK CUT OFF FOR TREASON!"
Cartman laughed again then pulled out a gun and shot Stan several times.
ALL OF THE SUDDEN STAN WOKE UP IN A DEEP SWEAT AND HIS HEART POUNDING. HE SCREAMED!
Wendy woke up and asked him what the problem was. He said he had a shitty nightmare and Wendy responded "damn it Stan you're sweating big time."
Stan looked like he was in shock and he said "I had a horrible nightmare that I was in Vietnam and I saw Kenny get killed. Then Kyle's head was shot off and there was blood everywhere I mean enough to fill a water park."
Wendy grabbed Stan and said "okay it was just a dream you're safe now."
Stan takes in a deep breath and falls into Wendy's arms. Stan goes on to say "my heart is pounding I think I'm having a heart attack."
Wendy asks to feel it and Stan takes her hand up against his heart.
"Whoa you need to sit down and calm down Stan!"
Stan starts breathing fast again but Wendy grabs him in a firm embrace and tells him to calm down. She helps him get back into bed and he asks her what time it is.
"2AM" she replied.
Stan says "WOW!"
Wendy tells him to calm down and she puts his hand on his forehead.
Wendy spent 15 minutes getting Stan to calm down. Once she did she went back to sleep.
Wendy realizes he's having an asthma attack. She yells "STAN HERE'S YOUR INHALER!"
They both discovered it was useless because the inhaler was empty. Stan's hacking cough soon turned to convulsing.
Wendy yelled "MOM! DAD! STAN IS HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTACK! HE CAN'T BREATHE!"
After eight minutes Stan passed out.
11 minutes later Stan's heart stopped and Wendy began administering CPR.
Wendy's parents called an ambulance and then they called Stan's parents.
6AM HELLS PASS HOSPITAL
Stan is stable and hooked up to monitors. Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman all rush through the hallway and see Wendy.
Kyle immediately asked "how is he?"
Wendy responds "he's stable and they're going to let us in to see him soon."
Cartman asked "did his heart really stop beating?"
Wendy gets irritated and answers "no Cartman I did CPR on him for fun."
Kyle responds "I told you so Cartman and you called me a lying Jew boy."
Cartman starts mumbling and Kyle yells "SHUT THE FUCK UP CARTMAN!"
Soon the nurse leads them into Stan's room and they see him hooked up to the monitors. They look at the heart monitor beeping and hear the sound of Stan's heart echoing through a speaker.
Cartman says "his heart sounds fine to me."
All three say in unison "shut up fat ass."
Then all four children go silent and Wendy takes Stan's hand. Kyle moves to the other side of the bed and holds Stan's other hand. Cartman leans forward and says "get well soon Stan." Kenny puts his hand on Stan's forehead and says "Stan I believe in you buddy."
After they leave Stan's room Wendy goes off to be alone in the corner of the hallway. Kenny follows her and says "it's so awesome the way you revived Stan with CPR."
Wendy turns around and asks Kenny "what if he doesn't make it? I don't know if I can live without him."
Kenny says "shh" and takes Wendy into his arms. Wendy asks "what if he has brain damage from the lack of oxygen?"
Kenny hugs her tight and says "just hope and believe he'll be alright Wendy."
Wendy spends the next 30 minutes crying in Stan's arms.
3 DAYS LATER STAN RECOVERS AND IS SENT HOME. FOR THE NEXT THIRTY DAYS HOWEVER HE'S TO GO TO SCHOOL AND THEN GO HOME AND REST IN BED.
The first day back at school at 3PM Stan walks up to Wendy at her locker and Wendy says "Stan you should get home and get to bed since school is out. Remember what the doctor said?"
Stan answered "yes if I'm not at school I should be in bed but before I go home I want to give you this poem. I should have had the guts to give it to you when we had our little separation and you were with Token. Now that you saved my life I am not holding back anything."
Stan hands Wendy the paper he wrote the poem on.
Oh Wendy my sweet Wendy
You're the only one for me.
Edgar Allen Poe had Anna Bell Lee but you're the only one for me.
I want to be with you forever.
When we hug I want to feel our hearts thumping together.
Wendy I love the taste of your kisses.
Wendy won't you please be my misses?
I want to feel my dick inside you.
Wendy oh Wendy please always be with me.
After Wendy reads the poem tears of joy begin rolling down her cheeks. Stan gets choked up and begins to cry as well.
Wendy says "Stan that was so beautiful" and they both hug.
Clyde Donovan comments "she was able to restart his heart with CPR."
Craig Tucker responded "if my heart stopped and she gave me CPR to bring me back to life I'd be so happy."
The next day Stan and Wendy were presented with first prize by the mayor for their report on Vietnam and they were excited. Wendy walked Stan home and Kenny along with Kyle joined them.
When they got to Stan's house Wendy got a warm welcome from Stan's parents. They explained that they're keeping an eye out on his inhalers and watching him for any signs of breathing problems now more than ever. Stan Marsh went upstairs and got in his pajamas and came down to spend a little more time with his friends. He also had another plan.
Stan decided to ask his mom for permission to marry Wendy.
Of course Sharon Marsh turned down her son. Stan says "well mom I just want the marriage done for legal purposes I won't get her pregnant because we're still in school but I just want it done now for legal purposes."
Sharon told Stan "no way, you can get married at 18."
Stan began yelling "MOM YOU WON'T LET ME WATCH HAMBURGER HILL OR FULL METAL JACKET! YOU WON'T LET ME MARRY THE GIRL WHO SAVED MY LIFE. SHIT MOM WHAT WILL YOU LET ME DO?"
Stan began jumping up and down and squirming like Cartman.
Stan let out a scream and was shocked that Wendy just spanked him. Since he was in his pajamas it hurt.
Wendy was furious and she began yelling at Stan.
"STAN MARSH THAT IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY TO TALK TO YOUR MOTHER AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT. YOU WERE WHINING LIKE ERIC CARTMAN AND THAT'S VERY DISGUSTING AND NOW I'M TAKING YOU UP TO BED!"
Kyle and Kenny were shocked and tried hard not to laugh and Wendy put her arm around Stan and marched him up to his room.
When they got up to Stan's room Wendy continued "Stan I can't believe you were yelling at your mom like Eric Cartman and squirming like Eric Cartman. That was absolutely disgusting."
Stan replied "Kyle and Kenny are probably downstairs laughing their asses off because you spanked my ass."
Wendy shot back "well you were being bratty like Eric Cartman."
Stan takes a deep breath and then replies "I deserved the spanking I was being a jerk."
Wendy asks Stan if he'd like a hand job and Stan smiles with delight.
Wendy says "pull down your pants and lie on your back. I hope your parents don't come in but if they do well who gives a fuck?"
Stan does as he's told and Wendy says "if you feel any chest pain or you need me to stop say so and try to keep the moaning down."
Stan replies "yes ma'am."
Wendy begins jacking off Stan while Stan inhales deeply. After two minutes of jacking off she tells him to close his legs and with her hand between his legs she starts squeezing the head of his cock and soon Stan shoots out a big load. He moans with great pleasure.
After the hand job Wendy escorts him to the bathroom and gets him cleaned up.
Stan says "Wendy that was awesome."
Wendy replies "Before you go to bed I think you should go downstairs and apologize to your mom."
Stan comments "yes ma'am."
When Stan gets downstairs he sees Kenny and Kyle drinking root beer and chatting with his mom.
Wendy says "Mrs. Marsh Stan has something he wants to say to you."
Stan hangs his head in shame and says "mom I was a total brat and I'm sorry. Guys I was rotten towards my mom and I deserved a spanking."
Kenny replied "you totally deserved it."
Kyle jumps in and says "totally."
Kenny says "you should go on up to bed because we want you to get better. We're heading home now."
Kyle and Kenny head home and Wendy escorts Stan up to bed.
Later that night Kyle gets a phone call from Cartman.
"Hey Jew all this talk about Vietnam makes me want to start the war all over again. I think it would be awesome to kill gooks."
Kyle responds "Cartman that's the dumbest fucking thing you have said this month."
Cartman says "well fuck you Kyle."
Kyle says "fuck you fat ass I'm hanging up."
Kyle hangs up and right after that he gets a phone call from Kenny.
"Hey Kyle I was thinking about the spanking Stan got today and I was stroking it and my bed sheets are so wet. Do you think my mom will give me a spanking for being naughty?"
Kyle laughs his ass off.
8AM at school the next day.
Stan is at his locker and Wendy approaches him.
"Stan we need to talk" she said.
Stan said "my apology to my mom was sincere Wendy."
Wendy said "it's not about that there's all new drama right now."
Stan asked "what?"
Wendy answered "Jenny Simon committed suicide last night."
Stan's hand began to shake uncontrollably and Kyle walked up and asked "Wendy did you tell him?"
Wendy nods and then Stan says "why would someone want to die? I almost died and I can tell you I value life big time."
Stan's whole body starts shaking.
Kyle says "Stan take it easy there."
Wendy and Kyle take a hold of Stan and tell him to breathe deep which he does.
After a few minutes Stan says "Cartman should be held accountable because he gave her that cupcake with laxatives. I'll kick his ass."
Kyle immediately grabs both of Stan's shoulders and says "normally I'd like the fact you want to kick the crap out of Cartman but you need to stay calm."
Wendy jumped in and said "that's right you need to stay calm."
All the students take their seats in Mister Garrison's class.
Mister Garrison says "I'm sure you've all heard the news about Jenny Simon."
Clyde raises his hand and Mister Garrison calls on him. Clyde replies "just looking at her empty desk sends chills up my spine."
Bebe began to cry and Stan focused on his breathing. He could hear his own heart pounding in his ears.
All of the sudden the intercom comes on.
"Attention teachers and students this is Eric Cartman."
Mister Garrison says "oh shit."
Eric Cartman proceeds with his announcement.
"As you're all aware by now Jenny Simon killed herself. Many feel I should be on my knees apologizing but guess what I'm going on the offense instead of being humble. To Stan and Wendy I think you two make a shitty couple. Oh but you know who would make a good couple? Token and Kyle would make a good couple. Kyle is a motherfucking gutter trash kike and Token is a shit skinned nigger. That's right Token you're a fucking nigger and you should pick cotton. I'd love to get a riding crop and whoop your black ass. You and Kyle should be gay lovers because you're both fags. You two should eat shit out of each other's assholes you fucking sons of bitches. Anyhow I'm off to start the Vietnam War all over again."
Token is shaking with rage and yells "I let that fucking bastard into my house when his house burned and that's how he repays me."
Kyle says "let's go beat his fucking ass down."
Kyle and Token rush to the main office and find a note left by Cartman.
The note read: "I've left the building already" and it was signed by Cartman.
Kyle yells "SON OF A BITCH!"
TO BE CONTINUED