Okay, for everyone who has read my other stuff, thank you SOOOO MUCH for all the great reviews. This story is for a different fandom of mine, a (sadly) cancelled TV series called Surface. It is no longer on TV, but you can watch it on hulu. Which you should probably do 1. because it's awesome, and 2. because there are spoilers in here. You have been warned.
Anyway, I just wrote this because I wanted to write something for Surface and I also wanted to write something funny and/or stupid. Combine those two and you get…this. It takes place just after Savannah dumps Greg because he's bullying Miles. This is the scene (is that what you call it in a TV show?) where Miles and Greg fight. Only instead of fighting here, they get into a battle of "Yo momma" jokes.
I own Surface (I wish)
"Face it, Greg. You just got dumped." Miles said coolly as he turned and walked away from Savannah's ex-boyfriend.
Oh, no you didn't, Greg thought. You did NOT just diss me.
He needed to stay in charge. He needed to make sure the little punk remembered who was the alpha dog here.
"Hey Miles!" he called, "Yo momma so fat, when she jumps in the ocean, she makes tsunamis!"
"Oh yeah?" Miles answered. "Well, yo momma so ugly, they thought she was the sea monster!"
He heard some snickers at that. But Greg did not give up easy.
"Yo momma so dumb, when they say 'move inland' she digs a hole!"
Miles didn't give up easy either. "Yo momma so big, she dig a crater in the sea floor!"
More snickers. Greg retaliated. "Yo momma so fat, she uses a pair of buses for roller skates!"
Miles shot one right back. "Yo momma so nasty, the sea creatures wouldn't eat her!"
There was actual laughter this time. Greg didn't like it. "Yo momma so dumb, when you were born she saw your cord and thought you came with cable!"
"Yo momma so fat, she sank the Titanic!" Miles yelled. The other students burst into laughter.
A red faced Greg yelled, "Yo momma so ugly, Medusa dropped dead from looking at her!" The crowd laughed harder.
"Funny, Greg. Yo momma so old, she was born in a cave!"
"Yeah? Well…yo momma so fat, she went on a seafood diet-whenever she saw food, she ate it!" There was a lot of muttering, as everyone had heard that one too much.
"Yo momma so old, she called her first husband 'hun'…and he was one!" The laughter started again at that.
"Oh really, Miles? Yo momma so dumb, her head is the vacuum of space!"
"Ha. Yo momma so old, her yearbook was written in hieroglyphics!"
"Yo momma so ugly, she made Frankenstein gag!"
"Hey, Gregory! Yo momma so dumb, when I asked her to babysit, she sat on the baby!"
"Miley, yo momma so fat, her farts power windmills!"
"Yo momma so fat, she eats a truckload of Big Macs for lunch!" Roaring laughter.
"Hilarious, Miles. Yo momma so dumb, she tried to order a sandwich on the New York City subway!"
"Greg, yo momma so dumb, I told her dinner was on me and she started checking my pockets!"
"Yo momma so old, the Earth was just a rock when she was born!"
"Nice one, Greggy, but yo momma so old, she went to school with Adam and Eve!"
"Hey Miles! Yo momma so ugly, little kids check under their beds for her!"
Miles grinned. He'd been saving his best one.
"Greg! Yo momma so old and fat, her fart was the Big Bang!" Several kids fell over laughing at that.
"Well…I, uh…um…I…" He had nothing. Smiling at his victory, Miles turned and continued walking away with Caitlin. When they rounded the corner, they found Nimrod waiting on Caitlin's Vespa. He jumped onto Miles' shoulder and looked at him as if to say Good job. He scratched the back of the little dragon's head.
"Nim, yo momma so nice, I know where you got it from." Nim's only response was to nuzzle him affectionately.
See? I accomplished both of my goals. I wrote about Surface And I wrote something stupid. Anyway, please review and tell me who your favorite Surface character is and why. Mine's Nim. He's adorable and he's just wicked awesome.