Lynx Tiger: Just an attempt to write a small drabble for Saiyuki. First fic, please critique!
Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki nor do I make any profit from it.
Snow was just like rain to him. It didn't bring bad nightmares like Sanzo, or terrible thoughts like Hakkai, but snow was closely related to rain. Goku used to hate it. He used to fear it. The cold, the white, the complete stillness that the scenery brought. It glittered in the sunlight, mocking the monkey. Snow looked like sharp glass, felt like it too. It numbed his fingers and his toes, and it brought pain. When the cold got to be too much, he could feel his skin start to hurt, as if telling him that he was losing warmth.
Snow reminded him of that prison in Mt. Gogyou. Where the bars would keep him from leaving the cave, and all he could do was look out into the scenery. Snow brought painful memories, terrible memories. Snow reminded him of being alone, of being locked up, of being cold. Snow reminded him of silence, that there was no one that would come and save him from it's bars.
He got over the fear from a push. Sanzo could be mean, was an asshole, but he had a good heart if one knew where to look. Goku knew where to look. After all, the sun was mean too. It could hurt the eyes, bring terrible sun burn, but it was warm and friendly underneath the harsh exterior. He gave the monkey freedom, gave him friendship though it was very reluctant.
The push was a choice. A simple choice. Did he want to be alone in the temple where he was unwanted and alone? Or did he want to go out into the cold where he wasn't alone anymore, where there wouldn't be silence and the stillness would be broken? Being cold wasn't very fun, but neither was staying in a stuffy temple where silence was all around. Which was the lesser evil here? Which one could he deal with? Being alone...it terrified him a lot more than being cold. Being alone was a nightmare. Being alone was a reminder that he was still in prison, waiting for the sun to shine through the bars and break the shackles.
Snow was exactly like rain, but unlike Hakkai, Gojyou and Sanzo, he got over the fear. He loved the snow. He knew he was braver than them for it. That he could love his fear and love the stillness and the silence that it brought, and how the sun would reflect from the white cover. He just wished that he could figure out how to get the trio to enjoy rain. If he could figure out how to push them just right, maybe they would love the rain...just as much as he loved the snow