Hello! :) Mmk, I think I promised this…hmmm….about a year or 2 ago? Sorry. ^^;

ANYWAYS. Yay! First TKAM story of 2012~ ;D

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Harper Lee's characters OR story. I just so happen to love Jem, Dill, and Scout. Hope this makes you happy. :)


It was official. Scout and Dill were crazy. They'd gone and decided to go ahead and get married. And only at eight years old. This was getting crazy. I mean, honestly, what on earth were they thinking? It wasn't exactly scary, but, really; a wedding? I sighed as I watched the two draw invitations at the kitchen table. Dill wrote and colored the picture of Scout as Scout proofread his writing and colored the picture of Dill. It was like watching a two-handed machine work its magic. After they finished the first batch, Scout handed one to me.

"How's it look, Jem?" she inquired anxiously.

I looked at the cover, which had a picture of the couple in front of me with hands clasped together. In red, untidy, crayon writing, the top read "You're invited to the Weddin'." I opened it up, read the inside quietly as I moved my lips with the words written in blue. Apparently the wedding would be held in our backyard tomorrow at four. I closed the card and set it down on the table only to see Scout's sheepish smile. I exhaled through my nose before smiling.

"It's very nice, Scout."

"Thanks, Jem!" she beamed, placing her hand on the card I had just put down as she pushed it forward. "This one's for you."

I picked it up once again, "Really?"

"Well, yeah," Scout quickly said before adding, "duh!"

"Who else'll be my best man?" Dill queried, which made my eyes turn into saucers.

"Woah," I began as I lifted my arms in front of myself in a defensive way. "I never agreed to this."

"Aw, Jem," Scout whined. "Why of all days, Jem?"

"I never agreed to all 'a this!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands above my head.

"C'mon," Dill whined. "I need a best man!"

"An' I need a maid-y of on-her-muh-jig," Scout included her need of a maid-of-honor.

"Well…" I changed the subject quickly as I squint into their eyes. "Have ya'll told Atticus or Miss Rachel, yet?"

Their eyes diverted from my own whilst their smiles slowly faded into miniscule lines. They each glanced at each other, then at me, then at each other. Smirks were exchanged. This wouldn't be good, would it? Welcome to the life of Jeremy Atticus Finch, aka The Used. Featuring Scout and Dill as the Users…. I snapped out of fantasy land in a few seconds when I heard a crash coming down onto the head of the table. I looked down and saw a stack of four wedding invites in front of me. I picked them up and scanned them over before allowing them to face my sister and best friend.

"What about 'em?" I asked.

"Could you be a darlin' and deliver these for us, Jem," Scout gave me an answer in the form of a question.

"They need to go to Ms. Maudie, Aunt Rachel, Mr. Finch, and Mr. Arthur," Dill stated.

"Why on earth would I do that?" I inquired monotonously.

"Because you love me," Scout smiled a puppy-dog smile.

It took me a moment before I finally gave in and sighed out, "Fine."


I sat at the porch steps of the court house, waiting for my father to exit. After a few moments, Scout and Dill dashed up to me with more invitations and a list of the people I was supposed to deliver them to. There were at least seven more in that stack. This was officially going to stink. I sighed as they scampered off quietly. Scout had just learned the puppy-dog look and used it to get the upper-hand on everything. A moment or so later, Sheriff Tate waltzed by, whistling as he climbed up the steps. I checked the list and found his name, so I speedily dashed up to him.

"Sheriff Tate," I hollered after him. "Sir, this is for you."

I handed him the card, which made him chuckle. He completely loved the picture on the front. He opened it up and read along thoughtfully, trying to remember a Dill Harris. He looked up quietly, whispering "Dill, Dill, Dill…" over and over again.

"Dill Harris," I inquired before answering for him. "He comes over every summer to visit his Aunt Rachel Haverford."

"Oh," Sheriff Tate nodded his head, regaining memory of Dill. "I know him. He's that short feller, right? Funny, that kid."

"Ain't he," I smirked. "Anyhow, they'd like to invite ya to their weddin', sir."

"Well, check me down for a yes," he smiled as he continued up the stairs, waving goodbye.

I waved back in return, marking "yes" down on the list next to his name. Before I knew it, Atticus was right in front of me. He scared me something fierce, which caused me to leap back a step or two. He laughed before clapping his hand to my shoulder as we began to walk.

"What are you doing, Jem?" he inquired, a smile still plastered onto his face.

"Dill and Scout are gettin' married, sir," I stated, giving him the invite. "They'd love to have your permission and invite you."

Atticus looked at his invite, chuckling at the drawing (was that what everyone liked about it? What was going on?) before flipping into the main event of the card. He closed it, carefully folded it up and tucked it into his pocket. I wasn't an idiot, and neither was Atticus. He saw the amount of hard work they had put into this all. He looked back at me, a smile on his face as he nodded. I smirked, checking off his name.

"Great," I confirmed, "now I just have a few more to go. They thank you tons, sir."

He nodded once more before I took off for the rest of town. I found Miss Rachel lugging at least six grocery bags in her hands, dropping them every several seconds. I rushed to her, offering to carry some. She smiled at me gratefully as we took the bags all the way to her own home. I set the bags on her kitchen table and began putting them in the correct places.

"That was very kind of you, Jem," she grinned, "thank you."

"You're welcome, Miss Rachel," I replied, pulling out the cards and check list.

Calmly, I handed a card to her. She raised an eyebrow before looking at the picture, which made her smile (again with the picture…). She opened the card and read along, giggling quietly. She waltzed into her kitchen, grabbed ahold of a magnet and stuck the card to the fridge. She turned around at me, grinning.

"I suppose Dill would like my permission?" she asked politely.

"Yes'um," I replied, nodding my head as I did so.

"Tell him he can count on it," she confirmed.

I checked Miss Rachel's name, waved her goodbye, and was on my way across the street to Miss Maudie's house. When I reached the door, I knocked three times. She opened up and smiled once she saw me.

"Hello, Jem," she smiled, "what brings you here?"

"Scout and Dill wanted me to give this to you, Miss Maudie," I stated politely with a smile, handing her the invitation.

She did just everyone else had and nodded calmly. I checked her name on the list, said goodbye and rushed to the house. Dill and Scout were at the dinner table with wedding plans and organizing where everyone would sit. I paid no mind to whatever else they spoke of because I needed to get the invitation to Cal. I gave it to her, explaining everything to her. She smirked, looked out the kitchen door and giggled. She agreed to be there and buy a dress. I laughed before going into the dining room.

"I'm almost done," I told the two eight year olds as I checked off Cal's name.

"Thanks, Jem," Dill smiled.

"Who should be my maid lady?" Scout asked randomly.

"Cecil Jacobs," I replied. "Now I have to take these to him. Should I tell him?"

She shrugged, "Yeah, why not?"

I smirked as I exited the house. All that was left were Walter Cunningham Jr. and Sr., Cecil Jacobs, Zeebo, Reverend Skyes, Arthur Radley, Judge Taylor, and Miss Stephanie. It would be a long day…


It had been a long day, filled with people who said yes, and one that was still pending. The Cunninghams were bewildered when they heard Scout was a bride-to-be. I quickly had to explain that it was a pretend wedding, but Walter Jr. was still excited. They said they would attend, just like Cecil Jacobs did. Lucky for me, he didn't know what a maid-of-honor was. Miss Stephanie was excited, Zeebo, snickered, Reverend Skyes grinned, and Judge Taylor just agreed to be there. All that was left was Mr. Arthur.

I stepped up to his porch, took a deep sigh, and knocked on the door. Who knew if Nathan would come out? Luckily, Mr. Arthur answered the door calmly.

"Hello," he greeted me quietly.

"Hi Mr. Arthur," I replied, "do you remember me? You saved my sister 'n I a while back."

He nodded slowly at me.

"Well," I handed him the invitation, "she'd really be thrilled if you could make it."

He looked at the card for a long while before smiling softly. He gently opened the flap, revealing the information. He read over it at least a million times before looking back down at me. I stood there silently, allowing him time to think over this. I realized this wasn't easy for someone who never left his house. He quietly asked something, but I couldn't hear what it was.

"'Scuse me," I inquired calmly.

"I'll be there," he repeated.

I smiled and stuck out my hand, "Thank you, sir."


The next morning was hectic, even for a pretend wedding. Miss Rachel had gotten Dill into a suit—not a tux. That was for special occasions, not pretend ones—while Cal had me in my own. I didn't like wearing suits on Saturdays. I was more for button-downs if formality was mandatory. I sighed as I helped Dill set up chairs in the backyard. He explained to me that a best man is by the groom's side in everything. I told him that wasn't necessarily true, but he waved his hand dismissively at it. However, I still helped him set up.

Cal, Miss Stephanie, Miss Rachel, and Miss Maudie all made a cake together, which looked delicious. Twice I caught Cecil Jacobs trying to lick a piece from his finger. I had scolded him for it, telling him that maids-of-honor don't do such things. He shrugged and walked away. It was beginning to scare me that he didn't mind being a maid-of-honor. It wasn't very manly of him to accept the fact that he was, indeed, the maid-of-honor. He wore white overalls, actually. It made me laugh whenever he was out of sight.

"Thanks for doin' all this, Jem," Dill said as he set up another chair. "It means a lot to Scout 'n me."

"No problem," I replied with a shrug as I watched Cecil Jacobs near the cake. "Where's Scout, anyhow?"

"Inside, puttin' on a dress," he snickered. "Never thought I'd see her voluntarily puttin' on a dress."

"She'd do it this type 'a situation," I sniggered, walking up to Cecil. "I'll be right back."

Just as Cecil lifted his finger near the cake, I caught it in my grasp. He gasped and tried to escape, but failed miserably. I sighed once more, putting my forehead in my palm as I shook my head. I lifted it once more to look at him.

"I reckon I told you not to touch that cake," I stated with a raised brow.

"I reckon ya did," he smirked, "but I don't reckon promisin' I wouldn't."

"C'mon," I ordered whilst tugging him by the wrist into the house.

Once we arrived within its walls, I found Atticus. I asked him to watch Cecil for me, which he agreed to. I smiled, warning him that he liked to touch cake. I went back outside to Dill, settling chairs on the ground. He laughed when I told him about Cecil trying to touch the cake. He then replied with the fact that he and Scout had gotten free cake batter whilst Cal was mixing it. I smirked as we kept talking and laughing.

And after a long, hard morning, the guests had arrived for the afternoon. Dill stood at the fence, awaiting his (fake) bride. First, Cecil and I had to walk out together, which was disturbing. I could feel everyone smirking at me. It was over quickly, though. Therefore, all attention was turned from me to my baby sister. She did look very pretty. I saw Dill's jaw drop to the very ground, causing me to smirk myself.

We all knew Scout wouldn't wear heels…ever, so Cal gave her some white flats that she had as a young girl. There was also a white dress, with a white slip underneath so that the small, flowery cut-outs in it would look very pretty. It used to belong to our mom when she was young. Atticus absolutely beamed, seeing his wife's dress on his daughter. She had borrowed a hat with a tiny veil from Miss Rachel. And, finally, in her hand, was a small camellia. Once my eyes laid on it, I shuddered for half a second at the thought of Mrs. Dubose sending me the flower. I admired it, but still…it kind of got to me sometimes. Anyhow, Scout looked very lovely.

She came up next to Dill, whispering something about how she hated wearing the dress, causing him to snicker. Instead of gently giving Cecil Jacobs the flower, she shoved it into his chest. She and Dill then held hands. That was when Walter Cunningham stepped up to pretend marry them. If Reverend Skyes did it, then they would be legally married…and Atticus did not want that.

"Dearly…somethin'," Walter began, doing his best to remember his lines. "I think we're here to celebrate Scout and Dill being married." He put a hand to one side of his mouth and whispered, "But it's just pretend."

It carried on with Walter trying to remember what to say for about five more minutes. Finally, what nearly gave everyone a heart attack, was when he confirmed, "Dill…you can kiss Scout now."

"It's 'bout time!" he affirmed.

All of the adults looked at them with gentle smiles, just expecting him to kiss her hand, wrist, or nose...oh, no…they didn't know those two like I did. He'd go right for it. When their lips touched, Atticus and Miss Rachel nearly died of shock, holding their chests, as if trying to stop heart failure. Mr. Arthur shone a soft, short smile. Mr. Cunningham and Sheriff Tate were trying not to laugh at Atticus's expression; Miss Stephanie was absolutely beaming (planning to give this story to the press, no doubt), Walter shyly rubbed the back of his head, while Cecil Jacobs yelled "Get a room!" to which Ms. Rachel hollered back "No! Don't get a room!"

As for me? Well, I just smirked. That probably wasn't too gentlemanly of me (smirking at someone during a somewhat-private moment) or big brotherly of me, because the first time I witnessed them do that, I wanted to pounce Dill. However, this time was different. I don't know how or why, but it just was. And, in all reality, I ain't kiddin', they pulled away after forty-four seconds. It wasn't a make-out session; it was just a simple kiss. It just happened to last what seemed like forever.

Liking the kiss or not, everyone clapped. The wedding had ended, which meant no more of my running around and organizing…no more best-manning…if that's even a word. No, now it was time for cake. Dill, Scout, Walter, and I all went to change into overalls (Cecil Jacobs was already in overalls) before eating cake. We all met in the dining room, gnawing happily on our food. Cal had also laid some milk (coffee for the adults) and ice cream out for us, which, of course, tasted delicious. I caught Scout and Dill exchanging whispers as the adults spoke amongst themselves.

"What're ya'll talkin' 'bout?" I queried, cocking an eyebrow as I allowed my milk to descend from my mouth.

They gave each other that look again, which made me lay my head in my hands once more that day. I knew they'd get my into their mess somehow, but I wanted to know what. I hated suspense. Honestly I did.

"Should we," Dill inquired, his smirk growing wider.

"I reckon so," Scout snickered, which caught everyone's attention.

In unison, the two lifted their glasses of milk slowly as Scout announced, "We'd like ta toast Jem."

"To the greatest wedding planner ever!" Dill laughed.

Everyone else looked at me, smirked, raised their own glasses, and proclaimed, "To Jem!"

It made my face a bit red, but I thanked them quietly. I ended up smiling, anyhow. Maybe I should've created some business cards?

I hope that brought a smile to your face. ;D

I realize this is about 10-15 minutes late, but Happy New Year, dudes!