This is a short sequel to The Handmaids Tale which shows what I would percive to happen afterthe last chapter but before the historical notes.
It was dark, too dark for my liking. We sat on wooden seats, by we I meant myself and another man and by seats I meant wooden planks bolted into the van sides. The army would have used this; the screams lingered, sirens rising in my mind, the smell of fresh blood on the metal, the ghosts haven't left.
The man flickers his eyes up to me and looks straight down when he saw I was looking; he knows what is coming, what they will do to me, I don't but I can feel it. A gun, a rope, a knife; they could use anything to finish me off, to keep me quite. I'm not scared they want me to be scared, that bitch told them to take me, told them to get rid of me just like she wanted to 'get rid' of me after the ceremony; she probably told them I was having a fling with her husband, told them about Nick. It could be anything, it's not as if she had nothing on me. She probably has another handmaid on order. Waste not want not, I feel wasted but not at all wanted.
Cora was making more bread in the kitchen. Her apron covered in white dust as well as her hands and face. She leaned across the table to get her callous hands a cup of water. Do you need my help? I asked her. She grabbed the cup of water and answered with a sharp No!
The van stops with a jolt. The man gets up and mumbles something that sounds like 'get up,' that phrase sounds oddly familiar. Serena joy lets go of my hands. You can get up now, she says. Get up and get out. He flung the back door open and I saw the night; which was lit up with orange lampposts and the distant bright lights of the gates.
I go out the back doors of the van, into the streets; it's cold and frost bitten, my fingers curl into my hands. Nick is standing by a Guardian, talking with his back to me. I feel the blood boil in my ears, my face growing hot; he was the one that helped her turn me in, told them about what I did, what we did! I ran to him; my nails getting ready to dig into his face, to punish him for all he did. What did i have to lose? Everything was taken from me and my self control has boiled up to this point. "You bastard!" I yelled at him and jumped on his back scratching at his arms "I trusted you!"
He pulled me off him and dragged me in front of him, I stopped. "Kate, you need to leave right now."
He called me by my old name. "What do you mean leave?" I ask "You're the one that turned me in with that, that bitch!"
"I'm not turning you in. I need you to get out of Gilead so you can be safe. Go to the country. Wait there for me."
My eyes widened "You're taking me away?" He seemed so serious surely he wasn't doing this? Surely he was bluffing to get a rope around my neck. If he did he might get caught and hang for it. Why would he risk that?
"I'm getting you out; there is a little cottage just beyond the Canadian border. He will take you there" he pointed to the guardian. "Wait for me; I have to find a way in which I can tell the commander I am leaving, tell him you are dead." I had no words to describe how I was feeling; angry with myself for not trusting him, hurt at the fact that he never told me about his plan but most of all I felt love, like the love I felt for Luke, my mother and my daughter but for Nick. I hug him tightly and whisper a thank you. He stands until I get into a car that had been waiting for me. My window is rolled down in the back so I could wish my last fair-well to him "Goodbye."
"Goodbye for now" he corrected me. "I will come for you Kate." There was my name again.
"Yes, and I will wait for you" I say before the driver begins to roll the car away. What I feel is not one simple thing. I have a whole range of emotions as I sink into the black leather seats. I try to remember the past as if that's were I'm going, as if that's where this driver is taking me. Away from Gilead and all the conspicuous reality I thought was the rest of my life. My future is hazy; a fog in which I have no idea what may come out. Portray it in front of me. I guess I will have wait.
The bricks are red: inside and out. Some things in this room are red, some are not. For instance three pans lined up on the kitchen surface, a painting above the fireplace but I'm not. Not anymore. I had discarded my red dress long ago, three days after I was taken here. I kept the red shoes, for memories. They are locked up in a box under my bed. I don't look at them much; some memories give me nightmares.
Nick sends me letters. The house keeper drops them off after giving me the shopping, she wears green. I noticed a letter on the table. She must have dropped by; she did that, she breezed in and out of the house as if I were the mother and she were the child.
I picked up the letter, opened it and read.
Kate, I know you have waited long for me but don't give up. The commanders has transferred me to another house so I will escape to you when we leave, the bastard wouldn't even know I am gone. I have tried these past months to find an excuse to leave but the commander just wouldn't let go; finally we can be together in just a few short weeks. I promise that no one will find us there, no one from Gilead. They all think you're dead, and Serena, well she has a new handmaid. Once I am there Kate, everything can be back to normal, back to before Gilead.
He finished it with his name and a messy ink mark from where the pen had been. I missed him, but he will be here in time and everything will go back to normal; before Gilead, just like he said.
Hope you like it, love it, hate it whatever just R&R please :D 3