A/N: Hi. WARNING: Some spoilers for 2.01. I warned you… I don't own Sherlock.

Mycroft had come round for his weekly 'check on Sherlock session'.

"Threatened national security lately?" he asked Sherlock.

Sherlock glared at him.

"Not talking, I see. Anything new?"

"Why does it matter?"

"You're in quite a mood today. Is it because Mummy always loved me best?"

Sherlock rolled his eyes.

"Imagine her face when I tell her that her youngest son almost had a dominatrix."

Sherlock pulled his phone out, and started texting.

Seconds later, Mycroft got a message: She won't know what a dominatrix is. –SH. Then, a few seconds after that: Almost. And that's the key. –SH

"Now you're not even talking?" Mycroft asked.

His phone dinged: No –SH

"Sometimes I wonder when you stopped maturing. Probably about three. That would make sense, you know. Can't keep your trousers on, give a very childish silent treatment…"

Well, you never stopped eating –SH

"What does that have to do with anything?" Mycroft asked.

We're bringing up things that haven't changed… -SH

"Also, imagine our dear mother's surprise when she finds out you've been living with a man for the past year."

"I'm NOT GAY!" John yelled from the couch.

Then John got a text: Must you be so loud about it? –SH

"Yes, since everyone in the world seems to think I am." John said.

It's the jumpers –SH

John sighed.

"Well, this has been a lovely chat." Mycroft said, "Really, Sherlock, something is wrong with you."

You can't keep diets, you always carry an umbrella around, and you say there's something wrong with me? –SH

Mycroft rolled his eyes, rubbed his forehead, and left with his sanity.

A/N: Please review!