This was a gift-fic for kagome313 for Eternal Destiny's Secret Santa 2011! I hope she liked and I hope you will too!
Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi has all right to InuYasha and co. Nor does a batch of lyrics from Rascal Flatts, "I'll Be Home For Christmas". I will only ever own my ideas and OC's!
"Love is shown in your deeds, not in your words." - Fr. Jerome Cummings
It was no use.
No matter if it was the holiday season, no matter if the first snowfall began falling on the eve of their anniversary, the night of her best friend's annual party which was supposed to be cheery and warm and full of love and laughter.
Kagome Higurashi Taisho just couldn't find herself to be happy.
Because her husband wasn't going to make it home in time for either their 3rd year anniversary or the Western holiday season.
And it hurt. And with their recent fight just hours before he left on his last trip, her mind was elsewhere while her heart yearned to be put together because it was not only lonely but shattered when he left.
Her honey brown eyes scanned the woman before her. Her hair of midnight black was dripping wet, a towel wrapped around her, a face that held only sadness and pain. Even a hot shower was no use in lifting her spirits. In three hours, she was supposed to head on out to Sango and Miroku's place for the holiday bash. As excited as she was the last two years since she and InuYasha had been married, this year it would be hard to even put on a smile.
Turning from her mirror, she scanned her…their bedroom. Plush red carpet, white drapes shading the two windows, the queen bed smack dab in the middle. Her eyes glazed at the large framed photo of her wedding day nearly 3 years ago above the bed. Her side left unmade, while her hanyou's side was left cold and untouched. Her dress for the party lay at the foot along with her low heel matching shoes.
Sighing, Kagome went back into the master bath and proceeded to dry her wavy locks. As she did, the 24 year old couldn't help but go over the last year and a half, ever since he took a high paying job that required him to travel, including out of the country. And ever since their arguments have slowly escalated. They took him away from her, sometimes for even months at a time. Phone calls were all they had, and small emails that told so little but meant so much. But what was worse that had the wife nearly in tears was the fact that InuYasha was slowly drifting away from the man she met in Jr. high school.
He was nearly obsessed with it and it made her wonder what on earth could make him nearly snap at her for even asking the simplest question, or not even showering her with affection like he usually he whenever he came back, and she was starting to think she was unattractive because he rarely touched her anymore. With the exception of the long night before he left recently, Kagome thought her nightmares of him no longer loving her were starting to happen.
And just thinking it made her heart ache in ways she never thought possible.
'What have I done? What did I do to make you so angry and… so different from the man I married?'
The option of staying home and wallowing if self-depression was appealing, but if she didn't go Sango would never let her hear the end of it. The girl had a fiery temper and was not easily swayed with excuses. In fact, Sango even dragged her out when they were sophomores to meet the guys at a local festival. She and InuYasha just had one of their infamous fights and were on no-speaking terms for the past few days. But her best friend had none of it. After making her dress she hustled her out of the house and to the festival.
That night went miraculously well, she remembered. She and InuYasha made up and in his small way apologized with buying her a small bouquet. It was the deep kiss and the passionate embrace that answered his apology.
Smiling a little at that particular memory, Kagome stood up, stretched and changed into her undergarments. And looking into the bathroom mirror, her hands making their way to cradle her stomach Kagome was just recently blessed with another miracle.
And she wished InuYasha was here to experience it with her.
The house smelled of cinnamon and eggnog as the housewife sat, cradling her own drink as she mingled with the other partygoers. The living room was thriving with laughter and music, the kitchen where the goodies were being made, and the color theme of blue and silver all around her.
"So, have you heard from him at all?"
The expecting mother turned to one of her other best friends. "All I got was an email saying he couldn't get home in time. And that was three weeks ago."
"So he doesn't know your pregnant?" Ayame's tone was disbelieving. "Oh that bastard…"
"It's fine really." Kagome took a drink.
Sango, who was sitting beside her shook her head. "Not if it's making you this depressed. He's been gone nearly two months-TWO FUCKING MONTHS, and all he sent you was a lousy email? I don't know how you deal with it, Kagome."
Looking from one friend to another, Kagome nodded. "I love him. That's why. No matter what he does or how long he's away doing his job he obviously loves."
Sango didn't miss the blanket of heartbreak in her friend's tone. "It's tearing you apart, Kagome. Have you talked to him about what it's doing to you?"
"I'm afraid to. He's been so snappish lately and it'll probably make it much worse." She subconsciously fingered her wedding ring, a reminder of the day she pledged herself to him. The diamond cut of her amber stone was similar to her husband's eyes, eyes that always showed her love, faith and devotion.
She was starting to fear if he was slowly losing them.
Wanting to be alone for a bit, she thanked her friends and appreciated their efforts to make her feel better. The woman dressed in red was unaware of a pair of eyes watching her as she left the room quietly.
While she was beautiful adorned in the red off-the-shoulder, knee length, sparkly number he gave her for her birthday the first year they were married, her face was anything but joyous. He knew that look all too well.
Sadness. Fear. Depression. And what was worse is that it was caused by his actions and words.
The hanyou watched with turbulent eyes as the woman he loved with all his might grabbed her winter coat and disappeared on the snow laden porch. While he wanted to go after her, surprise her and love her, InuYasha knew he had to wait. He remembered the short but brief email he sent to her about three weeks earlier, telling her he was unable to make it back in time for their anniversary and the Christmas season. But due to a lucky break he was able to hop on and board the first flight home from California U.S.A. And within 14 hours he was back in his homeland, and made a point to surprise her tonight during the toasts.
But hearing the small bits and pieces heard from her conversations with the girls made him look back. She was afraid of confronting him. Afraid of what that would do to their marriage. As far as she was concerned his job meant more to him now than she did. And that stung terribly.
He loved Kagome. More than anything in the universe!
But remembering all the times he snapped at her for no reason other to make sure he was fine and well, for stomping off during an argument he didn't want to face, the lack of affection and loving on his part, the silver haired hanyou clenched his fists, his eyes full of regret and sorrow. By the way he treated her, it was no wonder she began doubting him.
And it was even more painful when he heard how she sounded, her smile and tone all an act to hide the pain he's inflicted upon her. InuYasha knew he had to make it up her if he could. It would be a miracle if she forgave him for all he's done to her.
'She's been suffering all along. All this time she was afraid to confront me about how she really felt about all this because of my attitude. Man, am I the biggest asshole to ever grace the planet!'
Deciding to screw the toasts, the hanyou picked the bouquet of vivid red poinsettias and bundled up. He would sneak out the back door, because no one knew save for Sango's husband Miroku knew that he was home. Besides if he wanted the woman he loved to forgive him, he needed to be sincere. And alone with her. No way in hell was he going to apologize with a bunch of nosey-ass people he called friends.
No. InuYasha realized how much damage he's done the past year and a half, but he prayed to any Kami who would listen tonight. If he wanted to see that twinkle in her eyes, the laugh that made his heart sing and her smile that put an angel's to shame, the hanyou was going to do this right- and beg if necessary, although he hoped it wouldn't come to that.
It was worth it. Kagome was worth more to him than his pride. And he'd be damned if he screwed this up.
In the end, all he wanted was her love and forgiveness. If he even deserved it anymore.
Her eyes took in the softly falling snow, gently powdering the lawns and streets and trees of the neighborhood. Her hair flowing freely around her shoulders whipped around in the chilly breeze, causing her breath to materialize and cheeks to redden. Only a week before Christmas, and on the eve of their anniversary.
"Looks like I'll be spending this one alone." She whispered dejectedly to herself. The party was meant for her to at least enjoy herself without being at her husband's side, but her heart wasn't in it.
As much as he changed over the past year, she was still head-over-heels in love with him. That won't change. He took her breath away from the moment they met. That love won't fade over an issue such as his job being his assumingly his number one priority. But how much longer would she be able to keep living like this? Wondering? Assuming? Doubting?
And how would she tell him the biggest news of all?
"I'm dreaming tonight of a place I love…" Her head snapped up, the voice achingly familiar. 'Even more than I usually do…"
"InuYasha?" Did she dare believe it was true? Her eyes searched the front of the house, trying to locate him and his handsome voice.
But he kept on singing, "And although I know it's a long road back…I promise you…."
And from the corner of her left eye, she spotted movement. She whipped around in order to see that her husband was moving towards her, singing in a voice that stole her heart. He wasn't one to sing usually, but his deep voice was one that was beautiful.
"I'll be home for Christmas…
You can count on me…"
She couldn't stop the tears if she wanted to. Her husband, her InuYasha was there, singing and breathing as moved towards her with purpose. She noticed the poinsettia bouquet in his hand but moved up to his face, into his eyes…where he was saying everything.
"I'll be home for Christmas…
If only in my dreams…"
With his last note and foot on the porch steps, she couldn't stop herself from running into his arms, eyes glazed over with many tears.
The hanyou caught her with ease. Her head was bruised in his chest, embracing him tightly as she could. His winter coat couldn't hide the sobs she cried. His own arms hugged her rightly to him, one to her head; his fingers caught in between her dark strands and the other around her waist. His nose inhaled the perfume she wore; pear and vanilla-his favorite.
And that only served to make him feel even more like a guilty asshole, one who deserved to be left in the cold instead of being one with your wife's warm body. Her tears were endless it seemed, but he let her cry them out. Her tears were like poison. It pained him so deeply it hurt, especially when he was the cause of it.
Neither one cared for the wintry bliss around them. The snow, the cold, the sounds coming from inside-they all vanished as more time passed in each other's arms. They gave their warmth to each other, like it always should be. And InuYasha was foolish for not realizing it sooner. But would he lose her because of his selfish ways tonight? Tonight of all nights?
It would be no more than he deserved after what he put her through.
When her sobs died down and her heart rate slowed back to normal, he pressed his lips to her forehead before speaking. "I'm… I'm so sorry, Kagome."
She lifted her head, her honey browns meeting his sun-golden orbs. "InuYasha…" Her voice was hoarse from her crying. While she wanted so much to say what was on her mind, she realized that he had more to say judging by how his eyes looked regretful and full of anguish. So all she did was listen.
His hands went to cup her face, the pads of his thumbs caressing her dampened skin. "I never realized… I didn't see that… what I was doing to you… was hurting you so badly. I… I was blind, I was stupid, I was a selfish asshole that never… asked you… how you felt about my taking the job…" He sucked in a breath, his eyes looking into her soulful ones. "And to hear that… you're afraid to talk to me about it…" He closed his eyes and turned his head down, ashamed. "I'm your husband. And I'm supposed to be there for you, care for you, watch over you, love you like I always have… but the idea of earning more money just to support you got in the way of loving you and I… haven't been there when you needed me, when you needed to talk to me, and I reacted horribly. And I can now that hurt you."
Kagome never heard him sound so ashamed and so troubled before. Not even when his father passed was he this upset. Her hanyou was always tough, acting like nothing fazed him. But he was still a man- an inhuman man with feelings like everyone else. And he was nothing if not truthful and sincere. And he thought he was a bad husband, a horrible one who neglected his wife for work.
But he wasn't. She knew he was deeply sorry, just by his eyes alone. They never lied to her. He was her husband, one that knew her better than anyone.
"Inu…" Her own hands touched his softly. "You're here now. And I still love you regardless."
"You should burn my ass for what I've done!" He breathed out.
"No…no I won't do that. I may be upset that you never talked to me, and maybe I was cowardly in not approaching you about it." One of her hands traced his lips, cold but familiar. She wanted to taste those lips again. "But no matter what, my heart still beats for you. And I admit I had my doubts about your love for me but not anymore. I was foolish to think so!"
"I've never stopped loving you, Kagome!" He pressed a fierce to kiss to her forehead. "And I don't blame you for those doubts. I should have been paying more attention to what I have right in front of me instead of what possibly lays ahead. That my wife means the world to me and nothing can replace her." His lips then pecked her nose. "And that I am damn lucky that I still have her."
He then sealed his apology with the most heartfelt kiss she's ever received from him.
Her arms automatically went around his neck, his her lips responding to her hanyou's with a deep longing. After two months she had him here, home in her arms.
His arms squeezed her warm body to his, his hands roaming from her hair to the small of her back and her hips. In his mind he was mentally cheering. He crewed up royally and he had been forgiven. A lucky bastard, perhaps the luckiest bastard in the world. He would never release her again. Her lips and her eyes and her face were priceless.
As soon as possible, his employer would be seeing his resignation.
The two passionately locked lips and held each other for what seemed like hours. As much as they thirsted for more and wanting a more private reunion, the couple pulled back, breathless and panting in the winter air.
His claws rubbing up and down her back sent shivers hinting at more. She them leaned up to kiss the corners of his lips. "I can't wait to get back home, have you all to myself…."
Her husband grinned mischievously while his hands cupped her backside. "I have a lot of making up to do, woman. Tonight it'll be all about you."
Kagome could feel how excited he was and proceeded to travel to the back of his neck, one of his weak spots. "Nothing would make me happier." Her fingers began caressing the warm skin of his neck, causing him to hiss. "And tomorrow will be even better."
InuYasha couldn't concentrate while her fingers did magic on his neck. Aside from him pressing her up against him, that pleasure spot was making his knees go weak.
She smiled, knowing that her hanyou still succumbed to her touches. But before she could drag him back home, she had something else in store to tell him. She brought her hands down to his which still held her backside and placed them on her abdomen.
He recovered from his high quick enough when his hands were pressed on her stomach. His eyes met hers, his heart beating double time at the only thing this could mean. Then his nose caught the scent he didn't notice before. The scent of a new life growing in his wife's belly.
His vocal chords didn't want to work at the moment but his eyes and his lips seemed to be properly function. After kissing her breathless yet again, he lifted her up off her feet and twirled her around. They both laughed joyously for the first time in a long time.
InuYasha was truly happy now. Not only was he blessed with one miracle tonight- his wife haven forgiven him, but another one that he couldn't wait to meet. A child. His own baby was forming in Kagome's belly, one that would still have a father in its life.
Hugging each other close, the couple kissed and rejoiced clueless of the audience watching from the front windows, crying and cheering for such a teary and romantic reunion.
After picking up the fallen and nearly forgotten poinsettias now lightly frosted, InuYasha scooped her up bridal style, kissed her passionately and made his way to her car in the falling snow. Kagome nuzzled and sweetly kissed his neck in gratitude before snuggling into his chest for warmth, hugging the dazzling Christmas flowers to her.
Neither could explain just how much the other meant to them, but it was deep enough for them to have two blessing in one night. And both InuYasha and Kagome couldn't ask for anything more than each other, together as they should and always will be.