AN: I love pie. I really do. But when, after watching the 'Mother May Eye' episode, one of your friends shows you a picture of a cake that looks like a realistic baby that is partly eaten with red jelly on the inside oozing out, you can't help but make a connection between that and the fact that Mother May Eye wanted to cook the Titans into a pie. I might be thinking about it a bit too much, but either way, it's very creepy. Anyway, I hope you all like it!
Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. DC Comics does.
"Friend Robin, may I ask of you something?"
Robin paused as Starfire's voice floated through his mind, interrupting the train of thought that had been racing through his head after reviewing the last of his case files. Closing said file with a small thud, he half turned in his seat to flash the Tamaranean princess that stood in the doorway a smile, though his grin fell slightly when he saw the uneasy look upon her face. Waving for her to come closer, he waited until the door had closed behind her to give his assent.
"Sure Starfire. What's up?"
"Well..." Starfire allowed her voice to trail off as she shuffled her feet, her eyes fixed upon the far wall as she tried to find the correct words to speak her request. "You see, I have been updating some of the old files as you requested, and I have found that one in particular brings to mind a question for which I have no answer. Due to the disturbing nature of my question, and because the file of which I speak held nothing that could satisfy my curiosity, I was hoping that you, and if not you, Cyborg, could answer my inquiry for me."
"Of course Star," Robin said slowly, his mind racing as he tried to determine the exact nature of the file the alien girl might have been looking at if it had placed such a question within her mind. Turning to face her completely, he nodded before continuing on. "If I can, I'll answer any question you have."
"Please, what was in the Mother May Eye's pies?"
Raising an eyebrow, Robin watched as Starfire pulled herself into an almost protective curl, her arms wrapped tightly around her torso as her eyes shifted away from his, locking on to a piece of carpet that laid in the corner. Racking his brain for a moment in an attempt to discover why she should suddenly be so concerned with a one-time villain that they had taken care of so long ago, surprisingly, Robin found that his Batman-trained mind could do no more then draw its first ever blank.
"I'm...I'm not sure Star. Why do you ask?"
"Ooh, Robin. Looking upon the file of the Mother May Eye has brought to my mind the remembrance of something that she said while you and the rest of our friends were under her evil influence. Since my remembering, I have been unable to do anything other then ponder the intentions that evil mother who is not our mother had for us if she had succeeded with her plans! It brings many terrible thoughts to my mind, some of which I was hoping you could alleviate." Uncurling herself, Starfire dropped to the ground as her anxiety overruled her ability to fly, her feet automatically beginning to pace as she talked through the thoughts that were twirling through her mind. Reaching out, Robin grabbed her wrist as she walked by, forcing her to come to a halt as he struggled to make sense of her ramblings.
"Starfire, calm down. How about you take a deep breath, tell me what you remember Mother May Eye saying, and explain to me how you think it connects to her pies, okay?"
Nodding, Starfire folded herself into the meditation position Raven had taught her a few years ago, her eyes fluttering closed as she forced herself to breathe, each breath slightly deeper then that last as the tension drained from her body. When she finally reopened her eyes a few minutes later, the unsettled panic from before had been replaced with an unshakable peace that Robin couldn't help but slightly envy her for.
"You good now Star?"
"Yes Robin. I am the oh-kay." Taking one more deep breath to fully organize her thoughts, Star matched her gaze with his as she began. "During the time that you, Cyborg, Beast Boy, and friend Raven were asleep while under the Mother May Eye's spell, I overheard her talking about how she was going to bake us into a pie. You know this, yes?"
"Yah," Robin said with a wiry smile. "We kind of figured that when we woke up in a pie crust inside an oven. But go on."
"Well," Starfire said slowly, her hand coming up to cup her chin as she spoke, "to keep us under her spell, the Mother May Eye fed us copious amounts of pie, which in turn made us love her, making us the perfect pie ingredients for later. However, she used magic to conjure the pies that she fed to us to keep her under her spell instead of cooking them. This leads me to believe that the pies we were forced to ingest were made before the evil mother invaded our home, else she would have just used her magic to turn us into pies once enough love had grown within us. This makes me wonder, if the Mother May Eye wished to turn us into a pie, what the rest of them were made of."
"So," Robin said slowly as he worked his way through his friend's round-about way of speaking, "you think that, because Mother May Eye was going to bake us into a pie, she might have done the same thing with other people?" Nod. "And the pies we ate were her past victims?" Nod, nod. After a moment of thinking, Robin flashed the concerned alien a small smile as he rose from his chair, beckoning her to follow him as he exited the room. Quickly making his way down the hall, Robin drew to a stop before a set of large steal doors, his fingers quickly flashing as he entered the access key that entrance required. Motioning for her to remain outside, it was only a few moments later that he returned with a large ice covered box in hand, his smile still in place as he made his way to the infirmary.
"Robin, what is within the box that you removed from the evidence freezer?"
"A pie." Opening the door to the infirmary, Robin carefully set the box onto one of the metal tables before unsealing its lid, allowing a rush of air to flow into the formerly vacuum-sealed box. Donning a pair of gloves, it was with great care that he lifted the stale baked pastry from its former confines before placing it under one of the scanners Cyborg had just installed. "Since we have no clue what's in the it, though I would have to guess cherry or raspberry, I figured we could scan the pie and have the computer tell us the answer to your question," Robin explained as he headed over to one of the computer terminals, his body blocking the screen as he leaned over to type in his command. Intrigued, Starfire watched as a thin red beam of light fell upon the surface of the pie before quickly spreading to cover its entire surface. For a few moments the only sound that echoed through the room was the quiet beeping of the scanner until finally, with a pleasant ringing, the results came in.
"What the-" Robin cut himself off as a shocked frown fell over his face, his eyes locked upon the hidden results that the scanner had revealed. Sending an almost panicked glace towards Starfire, he hurriedly bent closer to the screen as his fingers flew over the keys, occasionally sending dark looks towards the innocent looking pie that laid before him. Finally, Robin rose to his full height and stepped aside, a fake smile plaster upon his face as he gestured towards the computer screen. "See Starfire, what did I tell you? It's nothing more then a cherry pie."
"But-" Starfire stopped herself as she caught sight of the haunted look that inhabited Robin gaze, obvious despite the mask that hid the upper half of his face. Glancing once more towards the screen, where a large, smiling cartoon cherry was waving cheerfully at her, she bit down the questions that laid heavily upon her tongue and forced herself to return Robin's grin, hers just as fake as his in a silent agreement to not make him reveal the knowledge he had just gained. "Oh, thank you Robin," Starfire gushed, stepping forward to pull him into a hug. "Now that I know the filling of the evil Mother May Eye's pies, my mind can now rest at ease for the rest of this glorious day! I will do the seeing of you later, yes?"
"Yah Star. See you later," Robin mumbled as Starfire floated out of the room, just missing the knowing and disturbed look the princess had sent him before she left. Turning back towards the computer, Robin systematically erased all traces of his scan, his mind and body sluggish as he watched file after file be sent into the computer's trash bin, which he made sure to empty once everything had been deleted. After what seemed like forever, it was finally done.
Dropping his head into his hands, it was a long while before he could force himself to move, the very act of turn in his chair seeming to take far too much effort then it should have. Shutting down his mind, Robin moved with mechanical precision as he repacked the pie into its metal container, careful to double check that the locks that resided upon either side were secure before making his way back to the evidence freezer.
Returning the box to its former position, it was with an audible sigh of relief that the stainless steal doors closed behind him, letting out a slight beep as they informed him that they were once more locked. Slumping against the wall, he couldn't help but let out a dark, humorless laugh as his mind twisted with the information he had learned. Turning to head back to his room to immerse himself into case after case in a futile attempt to erase the last twenty minutes of his life from memory, he had barely taken a single step when a ringing voice stopped him.
"Hey dude, do you-"
"Beast Boy," Robin interrupted in a deep voice, his head bowed so his chin was resting on his his chest, "whatever it is that you're about to ask, sometime, ignorance is the better option."
"But all I was going to ask was whether or not you wanted some pie."
For the rest of his life, Beast Boy would never know the reason as to why Robin would turn a deep green and mutter something that sounds suspiciously like 'cannibal' when ever someone mentioned the word 'pie,' or why Mother May Eye, two days after his initial reaction to the word, would surpass Slade, Brother Blood, and the Brain to become the number one villain of all time.
Truthfully, he never wanted to find out.