irst fanfic! Please don't shoot me!

Well, I'm going to try and write this. I know it may suck, and I may not be the best writer in the world, but I'm pretty sure that if I keep writing, I might improve. ^^ (lolno probably not.)

But, anyway, here you go, and I hope it doesn't suck! ;w;

"What if I wanted to break, laugh it all off in your face? What would you do?" The song was playing on a loop on my iPod. I sat there laying in my bed, wasting time. This was something I did quite often on the weekends. I never really had anything to do on weekends; no one to go do anything with. Sounds a bit pathetic, right?

Oh, I forgot to mention myself. My name is Matthew Williams.

'Oh, Alfred's brother?'

Yeah. His brother.

If you couldn't tell, I don't exactly get along with my brother.

Alfred is one of the jocks. He plays football, gets all the girls (Not like I care), and is basically your stereotypical "Popular Kid". Bet you can't guess what my status is on the scale of popularity.

Well, I don't think 'invisible' is really a status, but if it was, that would be mine. No one really notices me, or even tries to. Whatever.

I'm the quiet kid that normally people don't notice, as I have stated before. I'm a tad bit shy- scratch that, very shy, and I haven't had a real friend in a long time. Well, I don't think I've ever really had one…

I also recently became quite sad with how my life is going. And sadly, I have no one to vent to.

But anyway…

I get up from my bed and walk to the bathroom, sort of trudging (Yeah, people actually do that.). I should actually do something today, and I'm going to start my hopefully-eventful day with a nice, hot shower. That is, if Alfred hasn't hogged all the hot water.

I walk into the bathroom and strip down to my underwear. I turn on the shower, letting it warm up before I step in, and while it's warming up, I look at myself in the mirror. Now, I'm a pretty average teenager. I'm not fat, but I'm not skinny. Lean is a good word choice to describe my body. My face is soft looking, and almost spotless, except for a few freckles over the bridge of my nose. My eyes are a deep violet. Not purple, but not blue. My hair is light blonde, wavy, and reaches down my neck a bit, with a stubborn curl on the top that twirls off to the side. Some people used to tell me that I looked like my brother, just more feminine. When people tell me that, it makes me a bit upset.

One, because I am OBVIOUSLY not a girl.

Two, because I want nothing to do with my brother, let alone look like him. But whatever.

So, once I'm done examining myself in the mirror, I take off my underwear and get in the shower. I stay in there for a good hour, maybe an hour-and-a-half. I sit down in the tub and let the warm shower water cascade down my face. I begin to tear up randomly, the old depressed feeling starting to come back to me. (It does this quite often.). I clench my hands into fists and bring them to my face, covering my eyes. I bring them back a few minutes later and a silent sob escapes my mouth, and after that, another one. They keep coming, but I make sure that they're quiet. Though It's not like anyone will notice. They never notice. I stop for a moment and look down at my arms. My arms that are covered with cuts and scars. And no, it wasn't a cat. It wasn't a freak accident. It was me.

My name is Matthew Williams. I'm shy, have no friends, and I'm depressed. Oh yeah, and I'm also a cutter.