Characters: Ten, Donna (sort of), (mentions Jenny and TenII)

Warning: Contains some angst

Summary: Set after JE, the Doctor is reminded of a loved song and how its meaning still affects him.

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, and I certainly don't own Sir Tim Rice's lyrics from Evita.

A/N: Written in response to Travellers' Tales prompt #56 – burn, over at doctor_donna.

A/N2: I've been trying to fight off angst with a stick, and given up.


Understand What I Have Done

.

It had seemed a simple idea at the time: go along to celebrate the life of the man who wrote the lyrics for The Lion King. The Doctor felt that Sir Tim Rice needed to be honoured.

As he stood in his tux and munched his way through the food offered on the buffet table, he had made idle chit chat with a few people, but hadn't put himself out beyond that. All he had wanted to do was listen to the music and the lyrics being played.

Then his attention had been caught by the long ginger tresses of one particularly curvaceous woman, and his thoughts had wandered in a completely different direction.

But he found himself unaccountably blinking back the tears when he heard amongst the words:

"The choice was mine, and mine completely
I could have any prize that I desired
I could burn with the splendour of the brightest fire
Or else, or else I could choose time

Remember I was very young then
And a year was forever and a day
Thought what use could fifty, sixty, seventy be?
I saw the lights and I was on my way

The choice was mine and no one else's
I could have the millions at my feet
Give my life to people I might never meet
Or else to children of my own

Remember I was very young then
Thought I needed the numbers on my side
Thought the more that loved me the more loved I'd be
But such things cannot be multiplied

Oh my daughter! Oh my son!
Understand what I have done."

The Doctor heard the strains of the song wash over him. Donna had loved listening to this lament from Evita; he'd even caught her singing it in the shower on the odd occasion. Each time he had wondered what the fascination for the song had been.

The irony was that he understood perfectly now. Both he and Donna had lost a daughter and a son recently; both sacrificed for the greater good. All three of them sacrificed for his greater good in the end. It was all so unfair.

And all of them were sacrificed because he had chosen splendour over time. Had they truly understood when they made their individual sacrifice so that he could continue to save the universe? And who was the winner in the end?

Gloom rested on his soul then. It all seemed suddenly so futile…

And then he heard Donna's words of comfort clearly in his head: "Find a new world; for her."

The Doctor smiled despite himself. She was still comforting him, even after all this time without her. Yes, he resolved, he would find a new world for her. He would find a new world for all of them.

.