In Japan, Valentine's Day is celebrated differently than it is in the West. Women are expected to give two kinds of chocolate to men they know: handmade chocolate for the man they love and mandatory store-bought chocolate for male friends and acquaintances so they don't feel left out. Kanto and Johto resemble Japan to me, and not just because Kanto's a real place in Japan. Kanto is like the highly technological side of Japan that's given us many things, and Johto is like the traditional historical Japan with kimono-clad girls, the pagodas in Ecruteak City, and beasts with a mythological origin—more than the legendary birds in Kanto anyway.

Summary: On Valentine's Day, girls are supposed to give special handmade chocolates to the guy they love. But what happens when said guy has an allergic reaction to chocolate and his girl is giving that special chocolate to other men?

Pairings: UroborusShipping (RedxHilda) and OldRivalShipping (BluexLeaf). Teased at Pairings: BluexHilda, BrockxHilda, Lt. SurgexHilda and others...

NOTE! It's not related to my Pokémon Gray fic. It turns out that pairing: Red x BW Protagonist's Mom is called "DisappearedDadShipping".

Disclaimer: I don't own the Pokémon series or any of the wonderful characters I like seeing in crack pairings. Just this fic.

X-X-X

Valentine's Day Jealousy

Valentine's Day was not Red's favorite holiday. Mainly because on Valentine's girls had to give chocolate to guys, whether store bought at the last second or handmade with love. The first time he celebrated Valentine's Day, he was a preschooler and Leaf gave him some obligatory "I don't like you, but I know you, so I have to give you something" chocolate.

A half hour later, he woke up in the Viridian City clinic. It turned out Red was allergic to chocolate and he nearly died from said allergy. From then on, he couldn't stand the sight of anything made with or referring to the word "chocolate" as well as "peanut" and "nougat". Yeah. That could sour one's opinion of the holiday for sure.

At first, it was easy to toss away a few chocolates from the people who didn't know about his deathly allergy to the stuff, but upon becoming famous, more girls—or "The Red Fan Club" as Blue and Leaf called them—seemed to send him handmade or fancy expensive chocolate as tokens of their love. Every year, he had enough chocolate to fill a ditch in Mt. Silver. Heck, every year before he left Mt. Silver, there was a ditch filled with chocolate that would be devoured by the Pokémon that lived there. So imagine the amount that had piled up in front of his mother's house after he came back home to Pallet Town.

"Goodness gracious…" Was all Red's mom could say as she stared in awe at the comically high mountain of Valentine chocolate boxes. Needless to say, it caught the eye of everyone who lived on their street, and then some. "Are all these for you, dear?" Red gave his mother an apathetic stare, sighed, and nodded. He was hoping they'd keep sending their chocolates to Mt. Silver, but it seems his hopes were shot. "Thank goodness it's snowing or it'd leave a mess on the yard." Pikachu poked his head out from inside of the mountain of valentines. If there was one thing he'd grown to love over the years, it was the chocolate.

"WHOA! What on earth is this?" Red leaned over slightly to see Hilda standing behind the fence, staring at the mountain of Valentines and chocolates. "They're stacked so high, they're as big as a Golurk!" She noticed Red and pointed at the mound. "Are these yours?" He nodded mutely. "Wow, I feel jealous. I wish there were just as many guys out there to send me things…" Hilda noticed Red frowning at the mention and smiled. "Anyway, Red, I was wondering if I could borrow Charizard for the day."

He blinked, confused at her request. "Charizard? Why?"

"I need to fly around to different towns to give out my Valentines and Swoobat is too small to carry me. Please?" Hilda pleaded, putting her hands together. "Oh, before that, I've also got some for you, Mrs. Ketchum!" The brunette girl said as she reached into her bag and pulled out a small heart-shaped box. She walked into the yard and handed the box to Red's mother. "They were all handmade with love, sweat, and aggression put into it."

"Er, aggression?"

"Over the multiple times I burnt the chocolate."

Mrs. Ketchum opened the box and saw a simple heart made of dark chocolate. She took a bite of the chocolate heart and smiled. "Mm! Not bad!"

"I worked for weeks to get them just right!" Hilda looked at Red. "So, may I please borrow Charizard?"

The red-eyed young man stared at her. What did she mean that all of them were handmade? Wasn't he the only one she could do that for? Sure, they never really referred to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend or going steady for the sake of privacy from the occasional snoopy reporter, but still, he thought the occasional hug and kiss was enough to make a point about what sort of relationship they had. "Where's my present?"

"Later, later. I need to get these to the others, please?"

Red hummed and shoved his hands into his pants pockets. "Alright… But I'm coming with you." If only to see who exactly Hilda was going to give all those chocolate valentines to.

X-X-X

The first stop was Viridian City, and obviously Blue. Charizard had landed outside of the Viridian Gym, and the moment they walked up to the door, they were met by the sound of shouting.

"I keep telling you 'NO'!"

"Just taste it, you crybaby! If you don't eat it, you won't live to see White Day!"

"And I bet I won't live to see tomorrow if I do eat it!"

Hilda stopped dead in her tracks at the sound of shouting, but Red kept walking and entered the Viridian Gym, stopping only when he came to Blue and Leaf wrestling on the floor. The brunette girl had pinned the Gym Leader to the floor and was trying to get a chunk of chocolate into his mouth. Red cleared his throat and Blue stopped his resistance to look at the red-eyed young man.

"Huh? Red? What—?" Blue didn't get to finish his sentence as Leaf shoved the chocolate into his mouth.

"There! So, how's it taste? Good, huh?" The black dress-wearing girl asked as she put her hands on her hips. "…Blue?" She looked down and noticed that her boyfriend was blank-eyed and foaming at the mouth. "Oh, quit faking, you big crybaby!" She growled, baring her teeth as a vein throbbed on her forehead.

"You sure he's faking?" Red asked out as Hilda walked into the gym.

"What's going on—? BLUE! What on earth happened to you?"

"Leaf fed him bad chocolate."

"It was not bad chocolate! He's only pretending!" Leaf continued to insist.

X-X-X

Several minutes later, Blue was sitting on a couch in the backroom of the Viridian Gym, eating Hilda's chocolate heart. "Now this is much better. It totally took the taste of that poison out of my mouth. How come when she makes chocolate by hand, it tastes great, and when you make it, it tastes like something dipped in Grimer slime?"

"Well excuse me for wanting to make you a heartfelt gift myself for once, you douche!" Leaf shouted. She turned her head to glare at Hilda, a dark aura resonating from her like fire. "And as for you, what's the big deal giving chocolate to my guy?"

"Don't get me wrong! I don't even like Blue like that! I just wanted to give him chocolate! Keep him if you want!" Hilda exclaimed, holding her hands up in defense.

"Hey, Red~! Bet you're jealous of me. I've got your girlfriend's chocolate~!" Blue teased with a smirk as he waved the half-eaten chocolate heart at Red. His childhood friend/rival was unamused and snorted. Red looked back at Hilda, who was hiding behind him to prevent Leaf from attacking her. "There's love in every bite~!"

A small vein popped up on Red's cheek from irritation. "…Pikachu, Electro Ball." Before Blue knew what hit him, Pikachu jumped off of Red's shoulder and launched an Electro Ball at Blue, shocking him upon impact and destroying Hilda's valentine in the process. Hilda stared, slack-jawed while Leaf stifled a laugh and Red just stood there glaring at the once more unconscious Blue.

X-X-X

"I can't believe you did that! You destroyed my sweetheart valentine! I worked forever on these things to make them perfect, you know! It was practically heart-breaking seeing you turn it into dust!" Hilda complained as Charizard flew over the Viridian Forest. Her arms were wrapped around Red's torso, the red-eyed young man silent as he stared forward blankly while Pikachu was settled inbetween his trainer and the brunette girl.

The next stop was Pewter City, and the only person Red could remember from the city of gray stone was the Gym Leader Brock. Charizard landed in front of the Pewter Gym, drawing the attention of a few passersby.

"Hey, look! Isn't that Red?"

"Like, no way!"

As soon as Hilda had slid off of the Fire type without a word and walked over to the Gym in a huff, a small crowd of admirers formed around Red before he could even took a step away from Charizard. Each one started to confess their affection towards him, offering chocolate valentines that were obviously meant for someone else. By the time he was able to get away from them and into the Gym, he found a rather unsettling sight.

Brock, the Pewter City Gym Leader…holding hands with Hilda, the former staring lovingly into the brunette girl's eyes as they both held onto the box of Valentine's chocolate.

"I honestly didn't know you felt that way about me!" Brock exclaimed with little hearts practically floating over his head.

"Huh? What're you talking about?" Hilda asked, arching an eyebrow, unaware of Red standing at the entrance of the Gym and clenched his teeth in annoyance.

"Pikachu…" He spoke slowly, pointing at Brock. "Thunderbolt!"

X-X-X

"It was a misunderstanding. He thought I was some sort of long-distance admirer or something like that… You didn't have to tell Pikachu to attack him!" Hilda snapped, glaring at Red's back. The red-clad young man just continued to glare forward. "Don't you have anything to say? HUH?" Red bit his bottom lip and shook his head. It just wasn't fair—like he was being punished for not being able to eat chocolate by watching others receive her gifts and seemingly taunt him with their smiles and shows of affection towards Hilda.

The next destination was Vermillion City. The rest of the trip there was spent in unsettling silence. Eventually, Charizard landed in the city of sunsets, directly in front of the Vermillion City Gym. Hilda slid off of the Fire type, and when Red tried to do the same, she pinched his arm.

"You. Stay here." Red blinked and stared at her apathetically. "Don't give me that look. I've only been here once and I can tell: attack an army man like Lt. Surge and you won't wind up getting into a Pokémon battle, that's for sure. And if not with him, then with me. And I'll aim right where the sun don't shine, mister!"

Red just stared while Pikachu gave a squeak of fear. When Hilda walked into the Vermillion Gym, he just stood there with Charizard and Pikachu, the former snorting flames and turning to look at passing boats and the latter jumping onto his trainer's head to do the same. The dark-haired young man stood there. Patiently and silently. Completely obedient.

But that only lasted for four minutes before he walked over to the window of the Vermillion Gym and looked inside. There was Hilda and Lt. Surge. He was patting her on the head, she was blushing and giggling… He didn't know how, but it was enough to make him snap.

"Charizard…Fire Blast…" Red muttered darkly.

Charizard's jaw dropped as he sweatdropped. Pikachu just stared with wide eyes and a questionable "PIII?"

X-X-X

By the end of the day, Red felt his patience had been stretched to the point that he actually got a headache from being so damn patient. He had worked since childhood to not be the sort who was controlled by their emotions, but spending Valentine's Day watching his girlfriend give chocolate to other men made all those years of work go down the drain. And it was ridiculous, really, why he was so upset. It wasn't even about her giving chocolate to other guys—it was about her giving attention to them when he was the one she should have been showering affection on…

When had he ever felt an emotion like jealousy…?

"Red Ketchum, will you stop brooding and get down from there?"

Red snapped out of his thoughts and looked down to see Hilda. He had been sitting up on the roof of his mother's house since they had returned. He remained silent and went back to staring out into space. Hilda sighed and picked up a rock in the middle of the street. She chucked the rock at Red and he got hit in the head, not reacting in any way.

"C'moooon! Are you going to mope about me giving all those guys chocolate? I was told you're supposed to give chocolate to guys you know over here on Valentine's!"

"The kind you buy in stores. You're only supposed to give handmade chocolates to men you love—like a husband…or a boyfriend…"

"…Is that it? I thought you couldn't eat chocolate. Why're you complaining?" Hilda muttered and shrugged with a frown.

Red blinked. "…You knew?"

"Your mom told me a week before. I'd gone and made so many chocolate hearts trying to make the perfect one for you before then, so I decided to kill two birds with one stone and give the practice ones to those other guys. Although I guess I should've have given the one I wanted to give to you to Blue." Red's eye narrowed at her words. "So I had to rush all over looking for hypoallergenic chocolate and safe ingredients because I didn't want to leave you out, but I didn't wanna kill you by accident… See what I put myself through for you?" She reached into her vest and pulled out a plastic-wrapped chocolate heart. "I have it right here, if you still want it. It probably tastes worst than Leaf's chocolate…" Her boyfriend stared at her for a few seconds before he jumped off of the roof and landed next to her. "…Showoff. Here." She placed the chocolate heart into his hands.

Red stared at the chocolate heart for a few seconds as relief flooded throughout his mind. He unwrapped it and took a small bite out of it…and as soon as he swallowed, he felt like he was having the life choked out of him.

X-X-X

"I am so sorry, Red! I thought that guy was sincere when he said it was hypoallergenic! I should've realized it was real chocolate after I tasted it!" Hilda pleaded as she sat by Red's bed that night, her boyfriend red all over with rashes and blank-eyed. Pikachu was close to his trainer's face, pulling his cheeks and getting him to wake up. "Maybe next year I should just bake you a cake…"

X-X-X

Remember to read and review for the sake of Blu!