Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters… At least not the ones from the show… blah, blah, blah… You know the drill…
~*~Okay, this is just a little something I threw together at 2 o'clock in the morning 'cause I was sitting at my computer listening to a quotes mix from 'Fool For Love' and I was suddenly hit by inspiration. If ya like it, tell me. If ya don't, tell me. Thanks for takin' the time to read this.~*~
Now she felt terrible. Why had she done it? Why had she been she quick to tell him he was beneath her? He wasn't… She knew it. Fact was, he was the only one she had never been able to take out. The only one who could match her blow for blow and still come back for more… Every time. She'd met her match. And now she was beginning to wonder what exactly that meant. Somehow, she just couldn't kill him. No… It wasn't even that anymore. She didn't want to kill him. How was that possible? Even with Angel… When he had become Angelus… Even with him, once she had seen what it was he was capable of, she'd wanted to kill him. Wanted him dead. With Spike… With Spike it was so different. So very, very different.
So, back to the question at hand. Why? Why had she said it? No, wait, scratch that… Why did she feel guilty for saying it? This was Spike. The Big Bad. Her mortal enemy. The one person she hated more than anything in this world. But then, there was one tiny problem… She didn't. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't hate him. Not anymore. Actually, she got the feeling that she never really had. What she felt towards him… She had assumed it to be hate for so long, but now it was all strange. It wasn't hate. It wasn't loathing. It wasn't complete and utter disgust. It was… fascination. He fascinated her. Caught her attention in ways that no one else ever had. Everything before him had always been so black and white. Then, there he was, all smug and annoying… And tender and passionate. It was… strange. To say the least. This vampire… This man… He had so many layers. So many pieces that somehow managed to manifest themselves together to form this perfect being.
Perfect? Perfect?! Had she actually just combined Spike with the word 'perfect'? And in the same sentence, no less? That was something that should never happen. Ever. He was so not perfect. Except there was a little problem with that theory, too… He was. Everything about him was perfection, pure and simple. But how could a creature of the night, one who had tried to kill her numerous times for that matter, be the object of perfection. And was he to anyone else? He certainly was to her.
Who was she kidding, anyway? Everything about him was incredible. The way he knew exactly what buttons to push to piss her off. The way all he had to do was smirk, and he could annoy the hell out of her without the slightest hint of vocal provocation. And the way his voice would soften with guilt, that no one else could hear but her, when he said something that hit too close to home. And he was gorgeous. That bleach blonde hair that looked as though, without the gel, it would be so soft to the touch. So easy to just rake her fingers through. Then there were his eyes. Those amazing eyes. So blue… So passionate. If anyone was proof that the eyes were the window into the soul, it was him… But wait, how was that even possible? He didn't have a soul… But still, she could read him like a book just by searching those cerulean pools of overwhelming sentiment. And of course his perfect cheekbones. So masculine… So well-defined. So perfect. Simply perfect. And those lips. Soft and gentle. So… Un-spike like. Not something she had expected from him. Definitely not something she had expected from him.
Okay, yeah, she admitted it. She still thought about that day. When they had been engaged. For awhile, she had actually convinced herself that when the shiver ran down her spine from the memory, it was a reaction of disgust. Ha! Now that was funny. And if she had hated it so terribly much, then why hadn't she actually taken Willow up on that forgetting spell? Okay, so she had been the one to bring it up, but only once. After that, never again. Fact was, she didn't want to forget. She liked the memory. It had seemed… right. Okay, again… so not something she should be thinking about Spike. But she was.
Now, here they were, sitting on her porch steps, his hand resting on her back in an awkward, yet comforting gesture, and she still didn't know why she had said it. Or why he was here for that matter. Well, yeah, the whole shotgun thing kinda screamed 'I'm here to kill you', but he wasn't… Killing her, that is. He had come here for it, yes, but he wasn't going to go through with it. And now here he sat, eyes full of confusing concern, and he's not pushing… He asked if she wanted to talk about it, but he hadn't pushed. And now he was beside her, and ready to hold her and comfort her in any way possible. She knew that somehow. Right here, right now… He would do anything for her. Anything to stop her tears from flowing. And she surprised herself… She wanted to tell him. She wanted to tell him everything. About her mom, about Riley, about Dawn… About everything. She wanted him to know… Wanted him to hold her. Wanted to cry out years of pent up emotion on his shoulder. No one else… Just him.
And at that moment, she found her answer. The reason she had said it… She was afraid. When he had tried to kiss her… She had wanted him to…
~*~Alright, I know probably boring… And I'm guessing quite a few mistakes, too. Kinda getting' late… Or, well, I guess technically it's early… But anyway, if ya like it let me know. I'm considering continuing it, but I'm not sure yet, so… ya know… Anyway, I think I'm gonna go to bed now… Thanks for takin' the time outta your busy lives to take a peek at my lame attempt at originality… Exactly how many people have done this before? LOL. J ~*~