NOOOOOO ALL MY DREAMS AND HOPES HAVE BEEN CRUSHED! DX WHY KISHIMOTO WHY? Those of you who have read Chapter 599 know what I'm talking about. -_- Frig you Tobi. Anyways… onto slightly happy things! I've totally been playing God of War 2 non-stop for weeks now (I've beat the game 6 times ^^), and I officially hate Medusa. :O Icarus is like crazy though and I got to steal his wings so I'm not totally against him anymore. XD And Zeus is just a pain in the ass. XP (Hahaha Pein in the ass! I just had to… *is stabbed*) Anyways I'll stop boring you to death with my video game life and let you read the chapter already. :P Since Itachi and Kisame only got one scene last time they get to start off. Enjoy!


Chapter 9

Itachi stopped in his tracks suddenly, frowning up at the sky as if the clouds had offended him in some way. It wouldn't be too surprising, considering it had happened multiple times before on this trip. Kisame looked behind him, stopping as well. "What is it, 'Tachi?"

"What's our mission again?" the Uchiha asked curiously.

Kisame raised an eyebrow. "Umm… we're supposed to go to Konoha and collect information on the nine-tails Jinchuuriki. Remember?"

"Ah yes, I remember now," Itachi said, nodding sagely and resuming a leisurely pace, seeming content now. "To foolish little brother we go. Maybe we can have some Ichiraku ramen while we're there."

"You know," Kisame said, raising an eyebrow, seeming a little thrown off by his partner's still somewhat unhinged mind. "I never really understood why you always called Sasuke 'foolish' little brother. You mind filling me in?"

"Hmm… well it's a very long story involving a clown, a fireball jutsu gone wrong, and a worm. Would you like to hear it?"

"…forget I asked…" Kisame said, deadpanning.


Meanwhile, the two artists are finally back on track with their mission. But… how is Sasori coping with the loss of Hiruko?

Deidara let out a distressed sigh as he walked, glaring holes into the ground. "I'm never going to be able to regain my dignity," he said in despair, trying to focus on anything except for the current situation.

"Silence, slave! Onward to Amegakure!" Sasori shouted from atop the blonde's shoulders. "Giddyup!" The redhead kicked his partner in the side, grinning.

Deidara's eye twitched. "What the hell, Danna? ! I'm not a damn horse, un! You're taking this too far!"

"It's your own fault for destroying my puppet," Sasori noted, folding his arms. "If you hadn't gone and blown up Hiruko, everything would be fine. But nooo, you had to go all 'Art is an explosion, Katsu, un, un, un,'" he said, mocking Deidara's voice and making wild gestures with his hands to imitate an explosion.

Deidara ground his teeth together. "Hiruko isn't the only one that's going to go Katsu in a minute, un," he mumbled.

"What was that?" Sasori asked, leaning forward and bending over to look down at the blonde, a murderous gleam in his eyes.

Deidara sweatdropped. "Nothing. Nothing at all, un."


Hidan stared into the underbrush behind them while they made their way to their destination, head and body still being carried by his partner. "Uh… Kakuzu?"

"Shut the hell up, Hidan," Kakuzu said irritably. "We still have a long way to go before we get to Yukigakure."

"But… there's some damn creeper following us," the Jashinist said, eye twitching. The shinobi that was following not so discreetly behind them grinned, putting a finger to his mouth as to say "Shh."

"You've pulled the same thing this entire journey," Kakuzu growled. "There is no one following us and I am not going to reattach your head to your body until we reach Yuki. Now shut up."

"Fuck you, money whore, he's right there!" Hidan exclaimed. "He's taunting me!"

The stitched nin growled, turning around to see no one in sight. "…there isn't anyone there, like I thought. Maybe you're hallucinating."

The shinobi reappeared after Kakuzu had turned back around, pulling down an eyelid and sticking his tongue out at Hidan. The Jashinist pouted. "Fucking creeper."


Tobi sighed, letting his arms hang at his sides as he stared irritably at Zetsu. "Now that you're somewhat sane again, can we continue on to Otogakure?"

White Zetsu nodded. "I'm good to go."

Black Zetsu blinked. "Did you know that two plus two equals fish?"

White Zetsu tried not to laugh. "He's still not in his right mind… I think you over-did it when you were hitting him."

"Oh well, it'll have to do," Tobi declared, waving a hand and turning around. "Let's get moving. Hopefully I won't get sucked into the damn ground this time," he muttered to himself.

Black Zetsu blinked again, lifting his hand and waving his fingers in the air. "Come back, puppets…"

Tobi sweatdropped. "Maybe I did go too overboard… you know, I got crushed by a rock once," he noted. "Wasn't a very pleasant experience. Nobody knows how I survived. Then I randomly decided to become evil! Yay. That is my life story."

White Zetsu deadpanned. "The hell?"


Meanwhile, thousands of miles away, a certain snake was plotting. What was he plotting? Obviously not something too important.

Orochimaru looked up, eye twitching. "What do you mean, not important? I thought I was going to be the main villain in this story?"

Well, that is still being determined. In the meantime, Itachi and Kisame–

"That's all the screen time I get? !" a chibified Orochimaru cried, fake tears pouring down his face. "Not fair!"

"I'm sure you'll get some more time later on, Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto consoled, patting his shoulder. "Maybe we can go experiment on small children with kekkai genkais to cheer you up."

"Yay experiments!"


Somewhere back at the Akatsuki base, Pein and Konan were making out.

Just kidding.

It was more like this.

"…"

"…"

"…got any 5's?"

"Go fish."

"…"

"…got any 3's?"

"Dammit Konan! Why the hell are you so good at Go Fish?"

"…nobody knows, nobody will ever know."


Kinda short, really sorry about that. But I have some great ideas for next chapter! Is it obvious that I'm extremely upset about Tobi being

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Obito? -_- Yeah. I'm pretty pissed. If it gets explained then I might change my mind but I still can't connect it together in my head. I believe Tobi is Izuna with all my heart and soul! DX I may never forgive you, Kishi. Anyways reviews are the antidote to this poisonous cheesy Mountain Dew. Nobody will understand that. XD Oh dear, the conversations I have with Cleverbot… Thanks go out to everybody who has dealt with my late updating-ness this long and supported this story! Luff you all! :D