Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men. Marvel does.

A/N: For the "This is why people cut" theme. Can fit with "Only One", or be read alone.

Rating: M for implied rape/attempted suicide/cutting

I Am Victim

Let's all sit around the campfire and share stories of past

Of pain and agony and nightmares and nightmares that last.

No. No, let it not rhyme, or have rhythm at all. Instead, let it scream

and cry

and beg

and be a little broken like the barrell of a gun.

I am Alex.

So naturally I go first.

And let me start off with a big fuck. you.

Who? Who not?

Every demented artist that has ever touched me

left their untalented works on my skin.

Shiny, shiny little fucking skinny scars

And I look like the rubble terrorists have built.

Every deaf ear turned - and oh there were plenty -

Do you know how loud I scream?



No, they don't either. Because they didn't hear.

No one heard. No one cared

Do you know how loud he screamed?

My little baby brother of brown and blue


They touched him, I killed them

Accident. Accidentaccidentaccident that feltsogood

They died. Dead, dead, artists

And then the brown and blue was gone and I

Locked away.

Given away, sold away, thrown away, locked.

And when I wasn't screaming, they were screaming

In my ears, every night.

And when they weren't screaming, others were touching.

Making my body a red and white mural. Muralists.

I know pain.

I am Darwin.

My real name is fake.

My fake name is real.

And what is real is fake and fake is real and sometimes it hurts to breathe.

I had a map, once, of how life was supposed to go,

One long clear line for keep your mouth shut!

Another for and your head down!

Don't make a sound, don't draw attention

Your skin is the wrong fucking color, man, and you'll just never be good enough.

That was my map.

I lost it to the fire of a white man's lighter when he set my house on fire.

Yeah, I know that look. I've seen it - worn it. But white on white on fire really happens

Burning burning burning


And I died when I heard their screams.

But kept walking anyway

Mom Dad Baby Sister still in crib

Felt raw in my hands

Burning bodies smell like rotten firewood

And the laughter of cloaked murderers, it's crackles while it flames.

Yellow - cowardice -

runaway - coward


I drove my cab with politeness and shame

Spent time on my knees just to beg

That is how you adapt to survive, but do you know

I could never make black into white

I know pain.

I am Angel.





Ripped apart.

Can you ... feel that?

With my words?

Blood down my skin.

Pain in my back.

Hot breath on my neck.

Sweaty sticky hands on my inner thighs.



I sold what I had to sell what I needed to live.

Heavy, heavy weight, crushing me, using me


Smoothing against me and feeling me and taking


I hope you don't feel that.

I want to run get away be free fly

I'm suffocating I can't leave it I'm free but I'm me

Mama, Papa, fuckthemall!

God, it just hurts and I can't forget it

every time every word every hot foul breath


don't touch me, please.

I'm sorry. Forget it.

I know pain.

I am Sean

and I don't belong here.

Here, or ... wherever.

I think I'm supposed to be dead.


Sometimes, when I dream

I'm in Ireland. With a large family who adores me

And a father

Other times, when I dream

I'm always happy. And carefree. And alright, maybe a little high.

But those are dreams.

When I wake up, it's cold. Empty. The air I breathe is hard.

I have pretended, I have meshed

And sometimes I wish I could scream

I've been alone ... a long time.

I've got scars, just here, for each year

I count them every day

Scream out my rage? My pain?

I wish.

I want.



It's really loud, right?

I make things crack

And break

I don't break.

I know pain.

I am Hank

There's nothing more to say.

No, honestly

Look at me


A torn piece of construction paper

Can't be used

A fragment of something that would have been perfect.

Secret? Cold.

I love the cold. Touch it, hold it, embrace it

Until the shivers make the glass break.


No need to explain.

Eyes see everything, all of it

every last detail



Names? I have plenty

enough to poke holes in the sky

and call them stars.

Hiding. Hide.

That is all I do.

Hide, Hank, hide, Henry, hide, McCoy, hide, freak

Obscene and unnatural

my parents tried to hide me too

There is nothing more to say.

I know pain.

I am Raven

Blue - the color of my skin

the color of the water they tried to drown me in

the color of the would-be fate of my sin.

No.. no rhyming. No rhyming.

Excuse me. A moment.

I have to breathe.

I ...

Hands. Large, strong hands.

Holding ... holding me down.


So far under and I couldn'tbreathe.

Kind, soft hands

Pulling me in,

hugging me.

Changed hands

no hugging.

I'm under again.

Mirros lie

and...words lie.

I am loved and empty

Held under and saved

I can't breathe.

I know pain.


I am Erik.

Green, violent, brown,


rain metal



Sometimes Charles wakes up at night and screams.

Burrows closer and screams

Digs into me bites me hits me scares me needs me

Arches and screams


I hope it isn't me.







cold chain rain and metal

Oblivion, my step.

I need no words for this.

I hope it isn't me.

I know pain.

I am Charles