A/N: Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. This twisted plot line belongs to me.
I appreciate all of your comments and reviews. They make me smile.
I know some of you had reservations about my characterizations of Leah, but I wanted to show her loyalty. In the series, she stuck by Sam, even though he disappeared and everyone warned her that he was going to break her heart.
Okay, here we go. Get out your umbrellas, because shit is about to hit the fan!
Please talk to me.
Those four simple words were enough to shatter my heart. Edward had been reaching out to me since Alice caught us. Instead of facing the issue, I'd hidden my head in the sand and hoped that all the issues would resolve themselves.
After avoiding contact with him for over a week, he sent that text. It was like I could feel his heart breaking. Mine was breaking too, especially after making my final decision. This had to end.
I was so afraid of what being near him again would do to me. Edward and I had somehow wandered to a new territory, and I wanted so badly to stay there with him, but I had ties to my current one. Promises were made and I had to at least try to keep them.
It was time to face the music. I gathered up the courage to see him. I needed someplace somewhat public. The two of us in a private place usually ended with both of us naked which would make breaking things off that much more difficult. His office seemed like the best option. I could talk to him in private, but we wouldn't get in trouble with kids in the building.
His office was on the second floor of small building downtown. I decided to take the stairs to prolong the inevitable. My feet became heavier and heavier with each step.
The bell above the door chimed as I walked in. His lobby was a nice size, not too big, but enough so patients didn't feel cramped. It was very welcoming. The walls were painted a light blue with pictures of cartoon fish. Since it was near the end of the day, the lobby was empty.
A petite woman looked up from the reception desk. Her honey golden hair was pulled back in a messy bun and she wore purple hospital scrubs. She had a sweet demeanor, her smile warm and inviting. Her name tag read, 'Esme'.
"Hello there," she said politely. "How can I help you?"
I walked past the toys and parenting magazines and headed toward the counter. "I'm looking for Dr. Masen. Is he available?"
"He's finishing up with his last patient, but I'll let him know you're here." She gestured toward the chairs. "Make yourself at home. We're closing soon, so it shouldn't be long."
"Thanks." I took a seat and twisted my wedding band around my finger anxiously. Whenever I was with Edward, I had taken it off. Now the damn thing didn't fit right anymore.
I'd practiced what I was going to say in my head over and over again, but I should have known better. Edward and I didn't work with scripts. We just went with the flow. That was one of the great things about what we had. There wasn't any over thinking or over analyzing. It was just me and him.
To keep my mind occupied, I picked up a Highlights magazine. It was one of my favorites when I was younger.
Just as I was about to find the hidden rake in the picture, I heard Edward's voice. "Okay, make sure she takes the antibiotics until they're all gone, even if she's feeling better."
He was talking to a woman, her child stood in front of her. The little girl sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand.
"Thank you, Dr. Masen." She shook Edward's hand.
"You're welcome." Edward smiled then looked down at the little girl. "You were very brave today." He reached into his pocket and grabbed an orange lollipop.
The little girl's face lit up as she took the treat.
"What do you say?" her mother admonished.
She looked up at Edward with doe eyes. "Thank you, Dr. Masen." She smiled brightly at Edward. He had that effect on people, especially females. Seeing him smile turned us into puddles at his feet.
"You're welcome." Edward patted her head affectionately. He waved at them as they left.
His green eyes hit me, causing the air to rush out of my lungs. It was so good to see him again. I wanted to run into his arms. I wanted to listen to his heart thrumming in his chest while his fingers played in my hair. I wanted his lips crushing mine. Seeing him again made me realize how much I had missed him, and I wondered if I had the strength to walk away.
"Hi, Edward." As much as I wanted to pull my eyes away, I couldn't. It had been too long since I'd been near him.
He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "How have you been?" He lowered his head slightly and looked at me through his lashes.
Miserable. "I've been okay." I smiled weakly.
"So, you got my text."
"Yeah, that's why I'm here." I stood up and twisted my fingers together. "We need to talk."
"Yeah." He ran his hand through his hair. "We do. Come with me."
I followed him back to his office. It wasn't gigantic, but it had a nice view of the streets below.
The door clicked shut behind me, and I felt his hand brush the small of my back as he walked by. He did that whenever we were together. It was comforting, soothing, a reminder that he was there. I loved it, and I would miss it.
"I'm not going to like this, am I?" He laughed harshly as he leaned a hip on his desk.
Tears felt like venom in my eyes, and I blinked furiously. Neither of us was going to like this. I started pacing the room, knowing his eyes were following my every move. "Edward…I…"
The words were stuck in my throat, fighting to stay down. It hurt so much to say this, to let him go, but I needed to. It wasn't fair to bring him inside my failing marriage.
"I think I know what you're going to say, Leah." He stopped my pacing by grabbing hand. "But I need you to listen to me first."
I started to protest, but he silenced me with a finger to my lips. "You need to know how I feel, how I've always felt when it comes to you. I know that Alice catching us rattled you, but this doesn't have to end." He grabbed my other hand and kissed my fingers. "She's not going to say anything, honey. We can still be together."
I narrowed my eyes. "You honestly think we can continue this?"
"Not like this." He breathed out slowly. "I know that this wasn't planned, but I can't imagine my life without you." His green eyes sliced right through me, hitting my soul like a bolt of lightning.
"Edward." I pulled my hands away slowly and walked to the other side of the room. I needed to get away from him. My courage was melting under him. "I'm married."
"Leave him, Leah." he said in a low voice.
I whipped my head around. "What?"
"Leave him." He said it slower as he stood up. He walked toward me and placed his hands on my shoulders. "Are you going to tell me that he loves you when he's sleeping with your cousin?"
I looked down. "I can't just give up on my marriage because we've hit a rough spot."
"A rough spot!" Edward exclaimed. "Are you kidding? He's sleeping with another woman. You're sleeping with me. Obviously, the marriage is over!"
"I made vows, Edward. I have to at least try and fight for him, for my marriage."
"Are you going to tell him about us?" Edward asked.
"No." I shook my head adamantly. "Even if I admit that I've been unfaithful, I would leave you out of it. I wouldn't do that to you."
Edward smirked. "I wouldn't care if you did tell him, Leah." His smile grew. "In fact, I'd love to see his face when he finds out that I was taking care of your needs properly."
"He probably wouldn't care," I muttered.
"Oh, he'd care." Edward chuckled. "It's a male pride thing. He would want you to understand about Emily, but he'd be devastated if he knew you did that to him." Edward's looked at me mischievously as he moved closer to me. His arms trapped me against the wall. "If he knew that you showed up on my doorstep dressed in nothing but ribbon, offering to grant my wish, he'd hit the roof." His lips tickled my ear as he spoke. "If he knew the things we did and the places we did it, he'd be very, very angry." Edward laughed. "It would be worth it to see the look on his face when he finds out that he didn't know you at all and kicking himself for not bothering to find out."
Edward's words made me feel hot, anxious, and aroused.
"Isn't this how this whole thing started?" His words brushed against my neck. "You came to my house out for revenge for Sam's infidelities." His fingers grazed my neck and moved lower. "Don't you remember?"
"Of course, I remember," I answered breathlessly. I couldn't move. I could only let his fingers dance across my exposed skin.
"The last time you slept with him, did he make you scream?" His dropped his forehead to mine. "Did he make your body tighten and release?"
"No." Only Edward had taken the time to discover my secrets and my deepest desires. "Only you."
"Then stay with me, Leah." He squeezed my shoulders as he spoke. "Leave him. I don't know why you have this loyalty for Sam. He doesn't seem to have any for you."
"What about Bella? Doesn't this have something to do with her, too?"
"My only thoughts of Bella are about our divorce being finalized. The sooner I cut times with her, the sooner we can both move on. It's obvious that things are getting serious between her and Riley." He didn't sound bitter or hurt anymore, just content. "We could move on, too. You and me."
My eyes widened. What exactly did he mean by move on? Did he want me to move in with him, get married, or just announce to the world that were together?
"Do you still love him?" Edward's voice pulled me back to the present.
I sighed and looked away. "Yes."
He grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. "Are you in love with him?"
My eyes closed as he slowly invaded my personal space, comforting my unease. This was what it was like with Edward. All of my problems seemed miles away.
"I…I don't know." It came out as a whisper.
"I love you, Leah." He grabbed both of my hands and held them to his chest. "It's always been you, baby. Since the day I met you and you accidently wasted root beer on my shirt, you've had me. I know you, Leah. I know what makes you smile, what makes you cry, what parts of your body you loved caressed, all of it. Does Sam even have a clue anymore? Does he even know who you are?"
I bit my lip and avoided his eyes, but leaned into him.
"Are you going to stand there and tell me you don't feel something for me, that you don't want this?" His hands eased around my waist, wrapping me in those loving arms.
"Of course, I feel something for you!" I stepped out of Edward's embrace. "That's why I'm doing this. I want what's best for you, and that's not me." I looked down at my wedding ring again. "You deserve better."
"I want you, Leah." He tried to pull me back to him. "You are what's best for me. Leave Sam and stay with me. We can move away if you want and start over. Please."
"Edward, we can't." I placed my hand on his cheek.
"Why not? What's holding you back? Are you afraid of what people with think? Because I don't care."
"It's complicated, Edward."
He groaned and walked away from me. "Are you serious, Leah? He's cheating on you and you're looking the other way like everything is still roses and sunshine! Wake up!"
"I am awake, Edward!" I shouted back. "You're the one living in a fantasy! Relationships that start like this—" My finger pointed between the two of us. "—never end well."
"What the hell happened to you?" He looked at me with wide eyes. "What happened to that fearless woman who didn't let people walk all over her?"
"I grew up, Edward," I mumbled. "We can't have everything we want."
"I know you, Leah. I've seen the real you that you choose to keep hidden from everyone. You know why, because you're yourself when you're with me. Staying with Sam is killing you."
"God, Edward, don't make this hard!" I rubbed my hands down my face. The tension was sucking the air out of the room and it felt hot. Edward was standing there, his arms folded, his face a grimace. I touched his arms, hoping to release the tension. "I love you too, Edward, but I still love Sam." I ran my fingers down his cheek. "That's the reason I have to do this. You deserve someone who has everything together and knows what she wants. You deserve to be loved."
"Leah, please don't leave me." There was pain in his eyes, pain that I caused, pain that I wanted to take away.
I stepped up on my toes and kissed his lips. His hands came around me, pulling me to him in a tight hold. There was a mixture of passion and desperation in his kiss. As I tried to pull away, I felt his arms tighten. I wanted nothing more than to stay right there, but I couldn't.
The tears flooded my eyes. "I have to go." I tried to stifle a sob with a hiccup.
"Leah…please stay." He wiped away a runaway tear from my cheek. "Stay with me."
"I'll never forget what we had together." I freed myself from his grip and ran, refusing to look back. I was both relieved and hurt that he didn't come after me. But it was better this way.
I ran out of the office, ignoring Esme's goodbyes. Tears were streaming down my face as I rushed down the stairs. By the time I got to my car, I crying uncontrollably.
Things went from bad to worse. A few days later, my principal had called me in his office to tell me that my teaching position was being eliminated due to budget cuts, although he wished me "good luck in my employment endeavors". After finals, I would be officially unemployed.
A lot of the high schools in the area were on a hiring freeze, so I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I'd have to tell Sam, too. I didn't think he'd be too upset. He'd made more than enough money to support both of us, and he'd told me a number of times that he preferred me at home, but I loved teaching.
I was supposed to stay after school and monitor detention, but I'd switched shifts with another teacher who wasn't getting laid off. Yes, I used the guilt trip of having to explain it to my husband. She said she understood and wished me luck.
I was hoping to have a few hours to myself, so I could come up with a plan. My mind would toss images of Edward around if I sat at home all day. The best thing to do after a break up is to stay busy, so I needed to get out there and find a new job.
My plans were shot when I opened the garage. Sam's black Camaro was parked in his spot. I groaned and gathered my things and headed inside.
"Sam!" I set my keys on the kitchen counter. "Sam! Are you home?"
A knocking noise came from above and an uncomfortable feeling settled in my stomach. Slowly, I made my way upstairs. That queasy feeling intensified as I made it to the top step. The bedroom door was cracked open and sounds of music and soft moans escaped.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I said aloud, not that anyone heard me over the music.
The closer I got to the bedroom, the angrier I became. The door whined as I pushed it open, and I saw Emily's naked back as she gyrated on top of Sam. She wasn't without dramatics. She was so noisy; it was obvious that she was faking it for Sam's benefit, but it was encouraging him all the same.
"That's it, baby," he growled as he squeezed her hips. "Just like that."
At that moment, I saw red. My purse it the floor and I headed to the stereo and shut the music off. The both looked at me, as I stared at them harshly. Emily screamed and scurried under the sheets and Sam bellowed at her hasty escape.
"Leah!" Sam said with wide eyes as he tried to recover. "What…are you doing home?"
"The question is, what are you doing home, but I guess I already know what you're doing." I looked at Emily who cringed behind Sam.
"It's not what it looks like," Sam said, hurriedly. His eyes moved to the ceiling as if the perfect lie was written on there.
"Oh yeah? Well, unfortunately, my bullshit quota has been filled for today." I picked up Emily's clothes and threw them at her. "You! Get out, right now! We are done! We are not family anymore; we are not friends. You are dead to me!"
"I drove her here, Leah," Sam explained quietly.
"She's got a phone. She can call a cab." I looked back at Emily who was in the process of putting on her panties. "Maybe if you suck the driver's dick, he'll give you a ride for free."
I watched her eyes widen and she even had the audacity to blush. "Leah…"
"You've got ten seconds to get out before I kick you out naked on your ass!" I pointed toward the door. When my warning didn't register, I walked up to her until my face was inches from hers. "Don't test me, bitch. You know I'll do it."
There were no more protests. She just hurried out of the room, carrying her clothes in a bundle. Eventually, I heard the front door open and close.
"And you!" I looked back at Sam. "You lying, dirty, son of a bitch."
"It's not serious with Emily." Sam grabbed his boxers and pulled them on. "It's just lately, you've been distant and I needed something. Emily was there."
"Oh, so this is my fault." I patted my chest. "I'm the reason you buried your dick in my cousin. Is that what you're saying?"
He was sweating from his sexual adventure, and I wanted to vomit. What made me think that this was worth saving? After ending things with Edward, catching Sam and Emily again was overwhelming. It felt like my heart was going to explode.
"Lee-Lee." I felt his slimly hands on my shoulder.
"Don't touch me!" I shouted. Before I had a chance to think about it, my hand balled up in a fish, hitting him right in the eye. "Don't ever touch me again!"
"Fuck, Leah!" He bellowed and put a hand to his eyes to ease the sting. My hand was hurting too, but it wasn't about to let him see that. "What the hell did you do that for?"
"If you ever, EVER touch me again, I'll do worse!"
"It won't happen again," he whined. His eye was already turning red from where I hit him. "I got it out of my system. I'm done."
"Do you really think I'm stupid, Sam?" I eyed him suspiciously and then laughed. "Of course you do. I've known for a while you were sleeping with her and didn't say anything." His mouth fell open in surprise. "For some reason, I believed we could save this, save us. But I'm a fool."
I headed to the closet and grabbed a duffle bag.
"Where do you think you're going?" He was examining the damage to his eye in the mirror.
"I'm leaving, Sam!" I threw the duffle on the bed. "I'm done with this shit. I'm done letting you or anyone else walk all over me."
"And where will you go, Leah?" He was mocking me. "Your mom's house? Rosalie's? You need to seriously think about what you're doing before you make a mistake."
"The only mistake I made was falling for your bullshit, but I'm happy to say that's something I can fix." I pulled random clothes out of the drawers and threw them haphazardly in my bag. "I gave up a lot for you, Sam. More than you'll ever know and how do you repay me? By sleeping with my cousin on my five hundred thread count sheets."
"And what did you give up, Leah? Huh?" He was shouting now. "You live in this big home with anything you could possibly need."
"I needed you, damn it!" The tears were in my eyes, and I prayed that he wouldn't notice. I waved my hand around. "Did I ask for any of this shit? You're the one who had to drive the newest Camaro, had to buy the biggest house, and flaunt how much money you make. All I wanted was you! Just you!"
"Oh, don't give me that bullshit, Leah!" His voice was loud in the bedroom. "You and I haven't had sex in almost six months. Anytime I tried to touch you, you turned me down. So yeah, Emily was offering and I took it. I have needs too, Leah."
I wanted so badly to tell him about Edward, but I had hurt Edward enough. God, how I wished that I could go back in time and make things right with him.
"Do whatever you want, Sam," I said, as I walked into the bathroom. "I don't care anymore. We're done."
"Yeah, we'll see about that." He stood there watching me packing my things like he had me all figured out.
He followed me silently as I dragged my bag to the garage and threw it in the trunk.
"I'll be back to pick up the rest of my stuff," I said, as I slammed the trunk closed.
"Yeah, sure." His grin was maddening. "Whatever you say, Leah."
I wanted to punch him again and knock that smug look off his face, but my hand was already throbbing. Instead, I hopped in my car and pulled out of the garage. Sam's grin stuck in my head like a bad song as I drove away.
I was sure that Emily was lurking around somewhere, waiting for me to leave so they could finish.
As I stopped at a red light, my hands shook with both anger and sadness. In an effort to keep Sam, I lost the one person I truly loved. Now, they were both gone.
My heart wanted me back with Edward, in the comfort of his arms, but I couldn't face him. Not after the way I'd left things. And what if he didn't take me back?
"Damn it!" I shouted and hit the steering wheel, hurting my hand even more. "Damn it, damn it, damn it! How could I be so naïve, so blind? What the hell is wrong with me?" I looked in my rearview mirror. I didn't recognize the woman looking back at me. She was torn, broken, betrayed.
A horn blared behind me and my eyes shifted to the green light above me. I hit the gas, even though I didn't know where I was going.
My first instinct was to go to Rosalie's house, but Sam would know where I was and I couldn't even look at him, let alone talk to him. I needed to get out and away.
Instead, I found myself on the interstate, heading to Port Angeles.
A/N: I'd love to hear your thoughts. Also, remember if you leave a question anonymously, I can't answer it.