Lament of Firenze (or "A Centaur's Song")

I wish I were a unicorn

"Uni" meaning "one" horn

I'd gallop through the mists of night

Courage blazing, horn alight

In the village, they would say

"That unicorn doth prance away!"

And they'd be right, because I would

I try to be nice and good

All the children, girls and boys

Would wave and shout out "give us toys!"

Greedy bastards, little pricks

Suck my massive uni-dick!