Tim was sitting on a bench looking out on the water, after work. He hadn't even left the base yet. He was caught up in his thinking. He knew someone was sitting beside him now, but he hadn't looked to see who it was.
"Are you okay Tim?"
No he wasn't ok. Just like he wasn't ok when he was a kid and his father hadn't cared. He wasn't. But he wouldn't ever let his friends know of his misery. He was a horrible liar, so he fed him, at least, some truth.
"I'll be ok boss." 'eventually' he thought to himself.
Gibbs has been watching Tim practically all day. Something was off. Tim just didn't seem to have the drive or the ambition to work today. Then there was that phone call that obviously made him upset.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Tim took a moment to look at Gibbs. He trusted Gibbs, but he also has been taught that people run away if they know too much. He wanted to talk about it, but knew he couldn't.
"That's ok boss, I'd rather not."
Gibbs nodded. Tim expected him to take off, but he just stayed there with Tim.
"Has your father ever told you he loves you?" Tim asked Gibbs.
Tim shrugged. "Just asking."
Silence again fell. It was getting cold out. The waves on the water were rolling and hitting the rocks on the shore. Then snow began to fall.
I'm going to need some time off next week."
That immediately raised Gibbs' alarm. Tim never asked for time off. If he was asking now, there was an important reason.
Tim looked Gibbs in the eyes.
"My father passed away."
"Oh Tim I'm so sorry."
"I'm not." Gibbs looked at Tim with confusion.
"It sucks that I'll never get to know him, but even if he was alive that would never happen."
Why was he telling Gibbs this? This was too close to home.
"What do you mean?"
"Damnit Tim! Why won't you talk to me?"
Tim got up and walked closer to the water. Gibbs followed and stood next to him.
"I've worked 8 years to earn the respect I have on this team. To finally be treated as an equal. I've formed friendships, and…"
"Tim what are you thinking in that head of yours?"
Tim shook his head back and forth.
"If you know too much about me, I'll have to leave, and I like it here." Tim crouched down and picked up a rock.
"Why would you have to leave Tim?"
This was getting more and more confusing as the conversation went on. Tim threw the rock into the water, and turned to look at Gibbs.
"I would have to…to protect you and everyone else I've met."
Gibbs felt his gut clench at that moment.
"What do you mean protect us?"
Tim looked down again at the rocks and the water hitting them.
"Are you in some kind of trouble? Tim?"
Tim looked up at Gibbs again.
"I wish I could tell you boss. I want to…I do. I'm sick and tired of lying to everyone. I just want to be happy for once in my god damned life."
He picked up another rock and threw it into the water.
"It will be strictly confidential. It won't go any further than between you and me.
"I can't boss."
Gibbs could see the fear in Tim's face.
"What has you so scared Tim? You can't think I don't notice. You got a phone call today that shook you up. I don't make a habit of prying or trying to get people to talk. I won't do it here either Tim. You want to talk; you know where to find me. Just know that you can trust me."
Tim turned and looked at Gibbs and nodded. Then Gibbs walked away. Tim sighed and again took his seat on the bench he occupied moments ago.
Tim was 8 years old holding his baby 1 year old sister in his arms. There were in an ambulance. When Tim came home from school that day, he saw his mom and dad fighting again. He hurried upstairs to his sister's room when he heard her screaming from her crib.
"Shhh…Sarah you need to be quiet."
Tim turned towards the door when he heard things breaking. Then suddenly it was quiet. He heard the front door slam shut, and went downstairs. What he saw next will be forever engraved in his mind. His mother was cut open. Her blood was everywhere in the room. Tim instantly vomited and called 911."
Tim was pulled out of his flashback by the chill in the air. He shivered and decided he needed to be near people. He couldn't be alone right now, although that's the only thing he wanted was to be alone, he knew it was a bad idea. He decided he would take Gibbs up on his offer. He really needed someone to talk to; otherwise it was going to be an awfully lonely life.