A/N: Hey guys! This one is for Dear John. It's from Lily's POV.
As usual, I suggest listening to the song before or during the reading of this piece of fanfiction.
And it IS just fanfiction, meaning I don't own HP. Or TSwift. K? K.
I paced around my dormitory, hoping the other girls wouldn't come back for a while. I needed to be alone. I counted my footsteps as a way to keep the thoughts from overtaking me. It'd been a few months now and they thought I should have gotten over him already. But they didn't understand. All summer, he'd come by my house every day and insist on talking to me. I'd refuse, of course. And now we were back here. Back at Hogwarts. The place he'd introduced me to. My mom thought I was crazy. She couldn't understand why I would refuse to talk to him over one word. She wouldn't understand. You had to understand the war we were in to understand that one word. And she didn't. So I just told her I was fine.
I plopped down on my bed and stared up at the ceiling. He'd been my everything when I came to this world. He'd taught me about this place that I considered home. He'd said it didn't matter. He'd painted me a picture, one with understanding and acceptance and then thrown it out the window. One word. That's all it took to truly destroy everything he'd told me when we were 11. Well, it hadn't only been that one word. There'd been a lot of build up. I had known he was turning to something else. He was changing. Every day would be different. I'd see him in the halls and not know whether he would ignore me or not. I'd try not to let it hurt, but it really did.
I rolled over and faced the wall, curling up into fetal position. The worst had been not knowing. Some days he'd be great and happy and just like he was when we were 11. Then there were the other days. The ones that were becoming more and more common. The ones where he wouldn't talk to me if his 'friends' were nearby. All my friends thought I was ridiculous for not seeing him for what he was. Funny, one word was as good as a pair of glasses. It helped me see what was right there all along. Which was why I didn't answer the door this summer.
But he kept coming. I had to at least let him know that it was too late. I owed him that much, if only for introducing me to this wonderful world. Alice would argue that he had also lost me my sister, but I didn't want to think about that now. I sighed. She was probably right. She was good at that sort of thing, figuring out what kind of a person someone was and why they did something. Either way, she wouldn't want me to have any sort of contact with him. The sister card would be enough to stop me, but I felt that he deserved some explanation. Besides, Alice was at dinner, so she didn't have to know.
I got up and picked up a quill and some parchment and sat down to write.
I scratched that out and started again, the words just pouring out.
Please, stop. I don't need you coming up to me in the halls anymore. I was blind last year, but I see the things you do now. Don't you think you're too young for those things? You blew it. Don't you think I'm too young to have to deal with that kind of discrimination? I get enough of it from the rest of the world. I cried on the ride home from Hogwarts last year, you know. It was the first one I didn't spend with you. But I knew that it was over. You chose your side. I'd thought I could change you. Maybe this is all my fault. But maybe it's yours. You, with your double crossing, with your switching sides. You said we would be friends forever, but then you call me the worst thing you could.
Oh, I know you, you'll just add me to the list of people who just 'doesn't understand' what this is all about. But I understand. You were my best friend. Then you changed. And I changed. And we happened to change in different directions.
I couldn't bring myself to write anymore, so I folded the letter and put it away. I'd send it later. Or maybe not. If he could change his mind all the time, I could too. I went back to my bed and sat down, putting my head in my hands. How I wished I had listened when they'd told me to run away from him. All my friends had seen it. I was the only one. Even Potter and the Marauders had seen it.
But I saw it all now. He had been wrong. He still was. We were too young for this, but there's nothing we could do. I can't go back and make him not call me that. I can't even stop myself from shedding tears that day on the Hogwarts Express. He almost slipped again that day, when I wouldn't talk to him. Almost called me the M word again. Almost.
I'd loved him like a brother. He was my best friend. Apparently, he didn't feel the same. He thought of me as a Mudblood. Nothing more.
I grabbed the letter and walked out of my dormitory and out of the common room, headed for the Owlery. I was almost there when I hear him.
I sped up, trying to get away from him.
"Lily, please! Just listen to me! Please Lily."
Snape caught up to me and grabbed my sleeve. I wrenched it away from him, disgusted, and managed to spit out, "What do you want, Snape?"
"Lily, I'm so sorry. You have to believe me. I regret calling you that every second. Please. It's horrible, knowing you're mad at me. It's worse than a boggart. Please Lily."
I could feel my resolve weaken a little, but refused to accept his apology. "You've made your choice clear, Snape. You may know just what to say and how to apologize. You may even have known just how to make me believe that your Death Eater-wannabe friends aren't all that bad. But It's too late. I was never enough. My blood will never be pure enough, no matter how much I excel at being a friend. How many other friends would overlook all that I did? You had your chance, Snivellous. Now leave me alone."
At this, I turned around and walked away, feeling burned out over that one conversation. I could hear him calling out after me, but I refused to turn around. I wouldn't give him that power over me. Not anymore. I would be happy again. And Snape? Well, I don't care anymore. I had to let him go. Now, I have to get over him.
I decided to turn around, not feeling the need to give Snape that letter anymore. I was coming up to the corridor that Snape had stopped me in, when I stopped. He was still there, but not alone. He was with his friends. I could faintly hear their conversation as they walked away.
"Where were you, Severus? We looked for you at dinner."
"Oh, nowhere. I just ran into a wanna-be witch that needed to be put in her place and had some business to do." The rest of them laughed at that.
"I bet you took care of that creature, eh, Snape?"
I leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor.
My voice came out in a whisper, barely loud enough to be heard.
"We're too young for this."
A/N: Thoughts? Reviews? Cookies? All are accepted!