Sorry for the delay, just catching up with school work and revision, updates should become more regular in about a week or so.


"Now children, today we will be learning about religion" said Mr Garrison as he wrote Religion on the board

"Oh boy" said Butters with joy

"We are going to be learning why you have to believe in God and Jesus or you will go to hell" said Mr Garrison

"Here that Kyle, you're going to hell" laughed Cartman to the annoyance of Kyle

"Shut up fatass, if anyone is going to hell it will be you" snapped Kyle, punching Cartman's arm

"Hey, I won't go to hell coz I'm not a dirty Jew with a soulless ginger body" argued Cartman

"Shut the hell up!" yelled Kyle

"Kyle Broflovski, would you shut your pagan mouth" ordered Mr Garrison, causing Cartman to laugh

"But it was Cartman, he said I was going to hell"

"Sadly he is right, your mom has made you believe lies, and those lies will make you burn in hell"

"What if you're the one who has been told lies" said Kyle in defence

"That's it you little pagan bastard, get the hell out of my class" yelled Mr Garrison, pointing at the door, Kyle got up and walked out in a sulk

"Dude, that was uncool Cartman" whispered Stan

"What did you just see, coz I saw the coolest thing ever" replied Cartman with a grin

"Now, we are going to look at different reasons for believing in Jesus and God, Alec, why do you believe in God?" asked Mr. Garrison picking a student at random

"Well, the thing is… ermm" said Alec, thinking about what just happened to Kyle

"Come on Alec, we don't have all day" said Mr Garrison trying to hurry things up

"He doesn't believe in God because he is a little fucking British liar" said Cartman with smugness

"Eric, that language is not appropriate, and I' m sure he does believe in God" said Mr Garrison shutting Cartman up

"Well, I… I actually don't believe in God, I'm an atheist" stuttered Alec, all of the students gasped

"What was that?" asked Mr. Garrison

"I am an atheist, I believe in evolution and the big bang" replied Alec

"Well, you can go around believe your little pile of shit lies and when you die you got to hell" yelled Mr Garrison

"But… evolution is a fact sir, and the Big Bang has more evidence than God" said Alec becoming nervous

"Right that's it, at least Kyle believes in a God, but you, just get the hell out of my class and stop spreading lies" ordered Mr Garrison

"What? All I did was tell the truth" said Alec with shock

"The truth, the truth is that God did everything, now get out of my class" shouted Mr Garrison, Alec got up and walked out of the class

"Fuck you and your religion" muttered Alec under his breath

"Mr Garrison, that was a bit harsh" said Bebe, standing up for Alec

"Shut up Bebe and sit down" ordered Mr Garrison as he turned back to the board

"Jesus Christ, what a dick" whispered Bebe to Wendy

"Yeah, you were just sticking up for your boyfriend, he doesn't need to be so mean" replied Wendy, Red was sat behind the two and over heard what they said

"Did you just say that Alec and Bebe are going out?" asked Red to Wendy

"Yeah, we went on a date last night" replied Bebe with a smile

"Oh my god, oh my god" squealed Red


Kyle is sat outside Mr Mackey's office, Alec walks up and sits next to Kyle, "Dude, why did you get sent here?" asked Kyle

"Mr Garrison went ape shit when I said I was an Atheist" said Alec as he thumped down on a chair

"Just ignore him, he is a dick" said Kyle trying to cheer Alec up

"Yea, but still, doesn't need to get angry coz I don't believe in God" replied Alec, Mr Mackey opened the door to his office and called the two boys in

"Now Kyle, it is odd to see you in here without Eric, what happened?" asked Mr Mackey

"Mr Garrison started getting angry because I was sticking up for my religion" replied Kyle

"M'kay, well that's bad, discrimination is bad, m'kay, but maybe you did something to invoke him" said Mr Mackey nodding at what Kyle said

"I didn't do anything, Cartman was saying I will go to hell for being a Jew so I yelled at him"

"I see, so Eric was involved, well we will have a talk with him and Mr Garrison, m'kay, but you will also have to apologise to Eric, you know, coz tattling is bad, m'kay" said Mr Mackey as he began to write something down, Kyle sighed at what he had said, "And what about you Alec, what happened to get you in trouble?"

"I was doing the same, sticking up for my beliefs" replied Alec

"M'kay and what are your beliefs?" enquired Mr Mackey

"I'm an Atheist" replied Alec

"Oh god, well Mr Garrison has, ermm, very strong feelings against Atheism" said Mr Mackey, "Listen, you boys go back to class, m'kay, and I will talk to Mr Garrison later about this" said Mr Mackey as he dismissed the boys.

"Dude, what was that about?" asked Alec as he and Kyle walked back to their class

"Well, Mr Garrison can be a bit stubborn about religion" replied Kyle

"Yeah, but why does he have strong feelings against Atheism"

"I guess it coz he was dumped by that Richard Dawkins guy"

"Whoa, Richard Dawkins, the famous evolutionists Richard Dawkins" said Alec with shock


"He isn't gay" stated Alec

"Yea, it happened when Mr Garrison was a woman" replied Kyle

"Jesus Christ, what else happened in this fucked up event" said Alec

"Well Mr Garrison used to be straight, then he went gay, then he had a sex change and became a straight woman, then became a lesbian, then had a sex change again" said Kyle as if it was nothing out of the norm

"No, no, no, that isn't true, that never happened" said Alec

"It did"

"Dude, why the fuck are you trying to trick me?"

"I'm not tricking you, it did actually happen"



All of the girls are sat around a table in the cafeteria eating lunch

"So Bebe, are you going to tell everyone?" said Red with a smile

"Tell us what?" asked Annie as all the girls stopped eating

"Well, me and the new boy Alec are going out" said Bebe with pride, causing all the girls to squeal, everyone in the cafeteria looked at the table before returning to their conversations

"Oh my god, when did this all happen?" asked Lola as the girls sat with glowing smiles

"Last Saturday, Alec and I went on a double date with Wendy and Stan" replied Bebe

"What was it like, was he sweet?" asked Red

"Totally, such a gentleman, and so cute" said Bebe, Wendy giggled at Bebe's happy behaviour

"You have only been on one date" said Wendy with a bit of a sarcastic tone

"Yeah, but he was fantastic on the date" said Bebe, "And he was cuter than ever on the date"

"Ok, whatever you say" said Wendy as she rolled her eyes


"Dude, what happened with Mackey?" asked Stan as all the boys walked outside to play football

"He said he was gonna talk with Garrison and Cartman" replied Kyle

"What, what… I am not talking to him" shouted Cartman

"Yeah you are, he said you are" said Kyle with annoyance at Cartman

"Goddammit" shouted Cartman

"Alec, you ever played football?" asked Kenny as he chucked him the ball

"No, but it is a bit like Rugby right?" asked Alec as he threw the ball to Token

"What's Rugby?" asked Kyle

"You don't know Rugby, it's like American Football but without the armour shit" said Alec

"Oh, well, you wanna play?" asked Stan

"Sure, why not" said Alec as they all got into position and started playing

"Look at him, such a jock" said Bebe as she, Wendy and Red sat at the side of the playground watching the boys

"Bebe, calm down a bit" said Wendy

"What do you mean?" asked Bebe

"You need to stop drooling over Alec" said Red causing her and Wendy to laugh

"Shut up you two" said Bebe with annoyance

"Ok just saying" said Red as she held in her laughter


"Alec, run down the left" shouted Clyde as he threw the ball in Cartman's direction, Alec ran towards him and grabbed the ball and ran past Cartman

"Hey, you can't do that you British piece of shit" yelled Cartman, Alec hurled the ball up field to Token before turning around and walking up to Cartman

"What?" asked Alec as he pushed Cartman, Token ran and scored a touchdown before all the boys started to form a circle around Alec and Cartman

"I said you can't do that you British piece of shit" replied Cartman

"Cartman he didn't do anything wrong" said Kyle

"Don't call me a British piece of shit" ordered Alec

"Oh, what's he gonna do, drink some tea" said Cartman as he began to laugh to himself

"I'm gonna kick your arse if you keep calling me a piece of shit you fat son of a bitch" snapped Alec

"Arse, see, he is a posh little douche, it's ass faggot" said Cartman, Alec pushed Cartman to the floor before kicking him in the side

"I said stop it you arsehole" shouted Alec as he kicked him again

"Calm down dude" said Stan as he grabbed Alec

"Meeeehm, Meeeehm" screamed Cartman as he started to cry

"I hardly touched him" said Alec as he turned away

"Yeah, he is a giant pussy" said Kyle with a giggle, Cartman got up and started to brush himself off

"Is that it" said Cartman in an attempt to sound tough

"Shut up fat boy" said Alec as he walked away

"Did you see that, he is so strong" said Bebe

"You don't need to be strong to beat up Cartman" said Red, again causing Wendy to laugh, Bebe sat and sighed at the two

"Dude, that is the second time you have hit Cartman" said Kyle with happiness

"It's his fault" said Alec as he sat down on a swing

"Trust us, we know" said Stan

"What is his problem?" asked Alec

"We don't know" replied Kyle

"Does he know he is an arsehole?"

"No, he thinks he is the coolest kid ever" said Craig as he, Token, Tweek and Clyde walked over

"So everyone thinks he is a dick?" asked Alec as he raised an eyebrow

"Everyone except Butters, he is two nice to think he is a dick" said Craig

"Even though Cartman treats him like shit and uses him" continued Stan

"Have any of you ever tried talking to Butters?" asked Alec

"Not really, I mean he has taken a Chinese restaurant hostage, been convinced the world has end while he is locked in a nuclear bomb shelter, had a Christian Rock band destroyed, been tricked into thinking Cartman is a robot to make him say his secrets, been tricked into sucking Cartman's dick causing him to be sent to a correction camp, been turned into a gay internet sensation, been taken to Somalia when Cartman convinced him to become a pirate with him, been turned into a racist pit member of Cartman's NASCAR team and locked in a cell with only his poo to eat, how is talking to him going to change his opinion of Cartman?" said Kyle, Alec just sat in shock

"All of that, you guys are 10 and all of that has happened to you, what the fuck happens to this town?" asked Alec, still in shock

"We don't really know, it's just normal stuff around here" answered Stan