I sat on the poofy, yellow comforter of my bed, staring excitedly at the seven water bottles full of sake gradually stolen from our mother's supply. The collecting of the alcoholic substance was a natural tradition, and once we finished, Miku and Kaito would come over for the weekend, and we would all drink to a mild drunken stage and then start all over again.
However, as the end of the year approached, we began to save up, hoping that if we failed to drink it for almost a month, we'd gather enough to lead to an amazing night where everyone would have enough to get completely smashed on the beginning of the New Year, and then some.
I smiled excitedly, imagining the amazing night over and over in my mind. A particular reason made this night extremely appealing, and that was the lack of ability to think that was sure to come with the spinning room and vomiting. My grin grew, and a childish giggle escaped past my control. My legs kicked against the side of the bed and I happily shook two tightly closed fists near my chest in a small fangirling fit.
Once we start drinking, I won't have to worry anymore, I thought. I had always had a very poor ability of showing Len how much he meant to me, and it was incredibly irritating. It was already excruciatingly obvious that we liked each other a bit more than a usual brother-sister relationship, everyone around was extremely accepting of the whole thing, Len was never overly-flirty and was always accepting of the fact that I was too nervous to take things too fast at all... However, for some reason, the simple action of speaking to him had become almost too embarrassing a task to complete. I would all too quickly get embarrassed or nervous, and whatever kind of 'cute moment' we were having would end.
It pissed me off.
The nervousness would slowly fade away, and once the euphoria of his affection had slightly worn off to the gentle happiness of a memory, I was left with regret and anger towards myself for getting so pathetically nervous when, most of the time, all that was said was a simple compliment or 'I love you.' Even with the emotion behind them, I shouldn't have to hide my face or curl up in a tiny ball away from him to let it sink in.
Remembering past moments where this occurred, a small fire of anger stirred in my chest. I will let him know how much he means to me, I thought with growing determination. I'll use the alcohol as an opening, an opportunity to tell him without having to get nervous or embarrassed about how he, and everyone else, will react.
With a triumphant 'humph,' I kissed the bottles of glorious sake and then placed them in their hiding spot under the bed. After, I got up and walked over to the calendar hanging on the door and marked off the small box symbolizing the 30th of December.
"Tomorrow, I'll let you know how much you actually mean to me."
*24 hours later*
All four of us sat in front of the sign in front of the rural subdivision, one bottle in everyone's hand as we stared at the small digital clock on my phone.
"Only 5 minutes left!" Miku squealed happily. I mimicked the sound, uttering something along the lines of 'kyuuu,' while Len and Kaito exchanged a brief nod, grinning. Following the plan we had agreed on previously, I tapped the small icon that read 'music' and selected Déjà vu by 3OH!3. Even though it was only two lines in the beginning that really made this song fitting, it was enough to be named the best song to play before we began the drinking.
"Hey, Mr. Bartender, mix me a drink!
I really need something to tell me it's okay not to think…"
My face lit up excitedly as the words rang in the night air. "Kyaaa….!" I squealed, unable to contain my excitement.
"I know, right?" Miku responded, understanding the excitement and anticipation running through my mind. We continued to listen, eyeing the bottles in our hands happily.
The digital clock at the top of my phone's screen switched. "Four minutes left 'till New Years!" I announced. Small cheers of excitement rose once more.
The following three minutes passed similarly, each one earning slightly more excitement than the rest. As the final minute slowly ticked by, we pulled the caps off of our bottles and readied a blue BFC monster can in the middle of our small circle. Then, I readied a small timer on my phone, preparing to time our New Year's countdown drink.
"Ready?" I asked eagerly, gaining confirming nods from the group just after. A few more seconds passed, and the digital clock signaled that 2012 had begun.
My finger quickly tapped the timer, and bottles tipped up. We all drank the bitter liquid together for 10 whole seconds. As the timer hit 00:00, bottles flew down, and I was the first to drink from the shared chaser. I then passed it to Miku, who passed it to Kaito, who passed it to Len. Once the bitter taste had been thoroughly washed away, we all shared an excited glance.
The fun had finally started.
We all grabbed our bottles and began packing up, walking down the short road back to Miku's house. She walked quickly ahead, followed closely by Kaito, as they softly conversed about how epic the night was going to be. I walked a few steps behind Len at first, but as an uncomfortable feeling picked up in my stomach, I slowed. "Hey! Slow it down up there! If you walk too fast, I'm gunna end up vomiting!"
Miku laughed, but both she and Kaito slowed their pace. Len briefly checked to see if I was okay, and I nodded, grinning. As my mind happily prepared for the blissful drunkenness that was sure to arrive within the hour, my stomach battled the poison I had just given it and the swaying motion of walking.
I felt it lurch.
As I looked ahead, the road which had once seemed so short seemed like a long obstacle course created to torment my stomach. Accepting the fact that there was no way I was going to get back home with alcohol still in my stomach, I took a few more steps, and then strode over to the side of the road. I continued walking very slowly along the edge of the road until my stomach lurched once more.
Leaning to the side, I proceeded to empty the contents of my stomach onto the ground.
I lazily wiped my mouth, then ran to catch up to the oblivious group. As I neared, Miku turned around as she heard my footsteps. "What happened?" she asked.
"Just puked," I answered casually, completely unphased.
"Holy shit! I thought you were kidding earlier!"
I laughed in response, finding it reasonable. I usually had a much stronger stomach when we drank… however, I don't exactly walk around much when we do, either. "I'm probably going to be a 'Pukey Princess' tonight," I admitted, using the term I'd heard from Meiko once when she was describing how she was continually throwing up one night.
"I'm sorry," Miku answered sympathetically.
"No, it's cool," I smiled, resulting in a confused expression from my friend. I continued, "We've got so much alcohol this time, I don't even have to worry about it 'going to waste' because of an upset stomach… It's kind of exciting..!"
She blinked a few times, and then threw her head back in a small fit of laughter. "That's so freaking awesome!"
After the amusement died down, we all hurried back to Miku's home. We quickly walked into our room, careful to not draw to much attention to us as we passed her mother whom was packing things to leave for a party down the road.
Once we entered the room, we all took seats in various spots. Miku's bed was close to a dividing barrier in the room, a small gap between the end of the piece of furniture and the doorway on the opposite wall. I sat next to a desk that was in one of the corners near the door, while Len sat in the opposite. Miku currently sat a few feet in front of me so that we could do a few shots using some shot glasses she had brought (Len and Kaito, being more eager to simply start drinking, settled with immediately going back to drinking out of their designated bottles,) and Kaito was a few feet behind her.
She poured three shots for each of us, and we both downed one immediately. The sake entered my stomach with a burning touch, but Miku was already grabbing the second small glass. Eager to keep up, I followed suit. I drank it quickly, but Miku paused, deciding to leave the room and get one of the small cans of soda out of the kitchen before continuing. I shook a bit as my stomach complained, but I refused to vomit just yet. I ate a small piece of a potato roll, sighing as it succeeded in calming my stomach.
With a curious glance, I looked over to see that Len and Kaito were still continuing to drink from their bottles. I nodded approvingly, and then looked at my own bottle. After a brief self-assessment, I decided my stomach would be able to handle it. My hands grasped the bottle, and I drank more of the alcohol, excitedly awaiting it's affects to sink in…
My eyes fluttered open.
…my stomach hurts like hell… why does everything smell like vomit? I stared at the ceiling with a blank expression. My stomach rolled, and I sighed at the uncomfortable action. Trying to find a more comfortable position in my spot on the floor, I rolled over.
My head turned with my body, and once I had settled in my spot, I stared at the sight in front of me in silence.
Len slept next to me on the floor, his breath smelling heavily of alcohol. My mind worked furiously in attempt to figure out when he decided to sit next to me, but failed miserably. All form of thought felt fuzzy, and I could still lightly feel the effects of alcohol making everything a bit more confusing, as well as unimportant…
Except Len. Somehow, even as the value of everything else seemed to die, he was still an extremely important factor in my life. Feeling my cheeks heat up a bit, I cast a gaze across the room. Miku was sleeping on her bed, and Kaito was nowhere to be seen. However, it wasn't uncommon for the guys to usually get up earlier and leave to run an errand during the day while Miku and I stayed here, so it wasn't entirely surprising. Turning back to my sleeping twin, I exhaled deeply, and snuggled closer, allowing myself to feel the grasp of sleep once more…
I woke up a few hours later once more. Len was nowhere to be found (much to my dismay,) and Miku was staring boredly at the ceiling. "Hey," I said, sitting up.
She turned to me, "Yo." A few seconds passed as she stared at me, choosing her next words with care. "…Do you have any memory of what happened last night?"
"Not much," I admitted, looking at her curiously, "You?"
"Yeah. You were right when you said you'd be a pukey princess… I also have a few journals documenting what happened… I'm pretty sure you wrote a few yourself in your own phone, I'd check it out."
Taking her advice, I located my phone lying next to me and turned it on. I opened the Notes application, and there, I saw the headings of five new entries. Even while staring, I was able to recall nothing about when I wrote them.
"'Rin admits she loves Len more than anyone in the universe,'" Miku read aloud, an amused grin on her face. My jaw dropped instantly. Curious, as well as terrified as to what else may have been said last night, I opened my first journal of last night.
Sunday, Jan 1 12:35AM
I love lenny… I can't feel my face… and I just cvomited… But it's okay… Cuz I'm AWESOME… And he randomly told me a BUNCH of compliments before I started getting very tipsy…Which was nice, cuz my cheeks naturally get red when I'm tipsy, and it was a nice coverup?
I read the journal with shock and embarrassment, and Miku simply laughed in exchange.
Sunday, Jan 1 12:4AM
Miku is playing the pocky game -,-;;;
Laughing a bit, I read the entry to Miku. However, her response was just a casual 'yep,' and failed to fulfill my urge for revenge for her laughter at my embarrassment.
Sunday, Jan 1 12:48AM
(U;) Tipsy… still too embarrassed to say I love lenny… XD it won't take rooo long tho
Sunday, Jan 1 12:58AM
I love lennystify wormnv
Shaking my head, I mentally noted that the message occurred only 10 minutes after the previous' statement about being too embarrassed to say such a thing. However, a tiny (yet obnoxious) part of me was slightly prideful at my ability to come up with the weird face in the first message despite my minor inability to think.
Sunday, Jan 1 3:04AM
Ooowqw.. My nose smells painfill… And I love Lenny DOOOO MUCH ( I du. Evencare cuz I kno what I mean….. Kyaaaa!'n he's the shit!'nn I live him sooooooooooooo much! Kyuuliii! I'm going to have his children!"
Shock enveloped me immediately as the last statement registered in my mind, and it was all I could do to utter a shocked gasp in protest.
"What?" Miku asked, reaching out for my phone with an amused interest.
"…I…" my mind failed to find words to describe the amount of confusion and shock that had attacked my mental stability, so instead, I simply instructed her to read the journal. I waited in silence for her response while she read it.
It came quickly, not failing to include plenty of sarcasm. "So… you're going to have Len's children, huh?" Miku giggled, handing my phone back to me.
"I…" my mind still struggled to form a comprehensible answer. After realizing that I had yet to deny the odd, unusual statement, I quickly added, "I…I didn't think so…!" My attempt to disprove her claim felt incredibly pathetic as I realized just how unsure I sounded. I shook my head as I reread the journal entry, wondering when that idea had entered my mind… and how I had yet to know about it. Continuing to bombard my own mind with extreme confusion, I noted with appalled shock that, out of the entire mini journal entry, that line was the only thing with proper grammar.
With wide eyes, I shook my head and set the phone down. My hands cradled my face as I let out a slightly mortified groan. "Miku… Do you think Len is going to remember anything that happened last night?"
She gazed upwards in silent contemplation for a few moments before answering, "Hm… I don't think so. He was pretty out of it last night."
"Thank God," I sighed in relief almost immediately. However, afterward, a feeling of disappointment and guilt washed over me. Wait… But… Doesn't this sort of ruin my original intent for drinking…? As my head fell in a mild, depressed shame, I saw something in the corner of my eye. Turning my head, I saw about four and a half bottles full of alcohol that had failed to be consumed the previous night.
My mood instantly lifted. I've still got plenty of time to fix that, I thought to myself.
I continued to stare at the beautiful liquid as my mind filled with happy visualizations of being able to act like a normal (yet drunk) person if Len said anything again.
"Soo… wanna go get food?" Miku inquired, pulling me away from my moment of mental fangirling. I began to sit up, replying with a plain, 'yush,' but as my head neared the small trashcan next to me, the strong scent of vomit engulfed me, and my body folded over as my stomach flipped.
"Eugh… maybe not," I changed my mind.
"Suit yourself," she shrugged, leaving the room on her quest to find something to consume.
With a sigh, I decided to lie down once more until my stomach calms down from the sight of witnessing the aftermath of my mini adventure last night. As my head rested against the pillow, my mind instantly visualized Len sleeping there next to me again. Almost instinctively, I nestled my face into a cocoon of blankets so that it would be impossible for the nonexistent people in the room to see it turn pink. Realizing how stupid my action was, I shook my head in an effort to remove the tinted shade it had assumed, and then ran into the other room to join Miku with the hope that a little food and television would let me forget the fail moment I had just gone through.